Equanimity, Chapter 16

Gary was a simple man, he had simple hobbies, a well paying, easy job, and the looks that made most girls swoon-Nearly every girl he ever met swoon. Except for one.

Maybe it was simply because he knew that he couldn't have her that his heart pattered mercilessly when he saw the bob of her red hair glow under the morning sun, or the fact that he still had a budding rivalry with his childhood best friend that created a sort of unprecedented desire to be better than him at everything. Such things included being a better boyfriend.

However, what it was more than likely, was the way she carried herself. The way her shoulders seemed always an inch too high, the way that her smile twisted on her lips, and reached her eyes with passion and fury. Perhaps it was the way she spoke, with bleeding confidence verging on egotistic, but her humble nature and willingness to help other people negated the narcissism. Maybe it was because she was the leading, primary example of how Gary wanted to act, but had no clue how to get there.

Kind, motherly, emotionally stable and...

He had to watch that slowly fade after she started dating the Kalos regional champion: Ash Ketchum. At first, it wasn't noticeable, small inflections here and there, a change in her demeanor, the chip on her shoulder shrinking several sizes; normal things that changed when entering a relationship with someone. Then, the fire in her eyes started to fade, the confidence in her voice wavered, and the passion she held for people passed, and she was left angry and upset again.

Like she was when she was a kid.

As much as love was the game, they were still both so bad for each other. It was awful knowing Ash had so much control over the powerful Cerulean City gym leader, but it was also natural by society standards. She came between a star couple, and she was paying the price repeatedly. Her stubborn nature refused to tell Ash about the collateral damages she was facing on a weekly basis. The Waterflower's, her sisters mainly, already had a reputation for being man eaters, now that Misty was making a name for herself, it was only a matter of time before the league was involved.

Luckily, Gary was there to pick up the pieces.

Not Ash, not Brock or Tracey; but Gary.

He showed up like a knight in shining armor and she barely noticed.

Why was it that the good ones always missed the hard working ones? Was it because Gary was technically off limits since he was Ash's oldest friend and rival? Truthfully, Gary never had a chance with one Misty Waterflower because since the day he first met her, she only ever had eyes for the raven-haired boy that treated her less like a woman, and more like an object!

Why!?

Gary loved Ash like his own brother, there was no denying that sentimentality, but how they acted as a couple was destroying Misty but they were both blind to it. There was no telling the effects it was having on Ash—two thousand miles away. Long distance relationships weren't easy, and neither one of them were doing a very good job at keeping the relationship stable. Ash text him for advice, and Gary had to nearly break his phone on account from really his own answer being "pay attention to her."

Making time for her, give her something to look forward to. Don't call her when it's convenient, or when jealous—call her out of the blue, when she hasn't said anything. Half the stability of a relationship was learning to give up a part of ones self to better accommodate for the other. It wasn't about giving up one's self worth and personality, but learning to work together as one.

Misty had the devotion part complete, but if Ash never gave back, her efforts were fruitless—and would eventually turn into resentment. She was already partially there, whether she admit it or not. Ash and Misty's relationship from an outsider's view was already on rocky ground, given their long absence from one another. They hardly knew who each other were anymore, they weren't kids anymore, and for Mew's sake, they tried to pick up where they left off.

...Only, it's impossible to pick up, if they never had a grounded relationship in the first place.

How could Gary, the playboy heart breaker see that, but two normal people., madly in love with one another couldn't?

...Love wasn't enough.

Even Gary knew that.

So, while Gary plunged his hands into his pocket at the entrance of the gym, watching an unknowing Misty sort through her morning activities, he bit his tongue to stop himself from speaking. They needed to figure it out on their own, and Gary refused to influence either one of the. Ash was his brother, and Misty was his friend. He was not going to dampen either of their spirits.

"Hey, Waterflower." Gary mused, stepping into the gym after the previous days fiasco. He wasn't even out of the city yet when Misty called him back for a favor.

She was wearing her normal cerulean blues. A swimsuit beneath a red vest and yellow shorts.

"Gary!" She exclaimed, her tone much brighter than it was a few weeks ago. "You're back! Thanks." Misty latched onto him, her nails digging into his forearms while she pointed to the door he just walked in from.

"I set up an appointment with the league officials in town already. I've mentioned that you'll talk with them, but it's a private session so I need you to tell them good things about me." Her pokemon training, her feats as a gym leader—practically bringing Cerulean City back from the brink of destruction; the several times she stood in for officials and rallied at tournaments. He had the list, but she slipped him another one while leading him outside.

"Okay...but how does this fix the problem with the fangirls?" Gary asked, raising eyebrows while Misty pursed her lips.

"I'm going to start more actively being social, which means interviews and stuff like that—I figure if I can get my story out, people will stop blaming me for the whole thing—more importantly, I don't have to bother Ash about it."

Gary's brows knit together, realizing that she was still missing the point. "Don't you think this is something you should work together on?" slipped out and he feared he would be crucified on the spot.

Misty scoffed, and Gary wanted to sigh.

"Pfft, now way. Ash would only make it worse. He's terrible in a tight spot."

Gary's look faltered while she pulled on her hoodie to leave the gym and he sighed at her back.

"Have you told Ash I'm helping you yet?"

"..uh, no. But I will—eventually." She hummed and Gary felt the slow immersion of dread build up at the back of his throat, as well as the familiar crack of his chin where their last encounter over the redhead left them.

Hopefully, Ash wouldn't know.

XOX

Gary didn't mean to stay in Cerulean City for a week, it just sort of happened.

Damage control under her circumstances became a lot like going to the dentist with a mouth full of cavities. Everything was a slow, painful rip. Or several fillings; starting with sucking up to the league officials. Gary promised to keep an eye, his opinion only valid because of Professor Oak's authoritative presence in the league's council. Gary himself was becoming decently known for his research uncovering legendary pokemon, but his authority didn't touch official business.

However, they did promise to hear her side of the story a bit more clearly, if she could keep her name from being spread negatively anymore.

Misty didn't complain about the results. It was better than the dismissal or suspension she was looking at before. The gym leader preferred being observed over not having a job anymore.

To prove her point and dedication, she and Gary attended seveal trainer rallies together, one in Cerulean City, and another in Saffron City to display her unwavering loyalty, and to fight back the press.

"My relationship doesn't define me. I'm still the same gym leader I was a year ago, today. If anything, I've only gotten better. The media will construe nonsense for readers, it's a fact I just have to deal with knowing my own truths will eventually outshine the ugly lies." was her leading statement at conferences and with camera crews. Followed by the quick, and cold dismissal of all questions and accusations associated with her relationship and personal life. She was a professional, after all, she didn't have time for anything else.

In a week, she returned mostly to her pre-Ash ways, the media was still scorning her, but she handled it with a certain finesse that intimidated most people. While Gary was proud of her, she was still missing the point. They missed a balance, and in the week cleaning up her reputation, she had forgotten to call and inform Ash of anything going on; ignored him when she needed the most help, and tried to sort everything out on her own, even though she was clearly not on her own anymore.

"I think we did an excellent job!" Misty chirped from across the gym kitchen, toasting with Daisy sitting at the far end of the table and Gary staring out into space with his eyebrows knit together.

"With the wedding or the gym?" Daisy asked, her reading glasses sitting at the end of her nose while her face screwed up. "Because the wedding is coming up fast, and we haven't even taken pictures for invitations! I don't even have the seating arrangement done, and god knows if our parents are going to show up-"

"Relax," Misty waved, interrupting her sister while she bit down on a pint sized donuts. "Tracey is just busy with some research at Oak's lab, but I'm sure once he's finished everything will go smoothy. Besides, if the booking for the venue falls through, we can just hold it here at the gym."

"I don't want my wedding to be in a pokemon gym!" Daisy shrieked and Misty sighed while Gary's dark eyes danced over to her pale, stressed features.

She was losing weight, running the gym solo while Lily and Violet took vacations to find their significant others-their true love—they wanted dates for Daisy's wedding, because Misty and Daisy clearly had their own, and they didn't want to be the third wheel.

Gary knew something about being a third wheel, and that didn't involve leaving their baby sister with all the set up of a huge wedding, and running of a gym. Cerulean City had two major pools, and several tanks for holding pokemon—not to mention the constant, daily cleaning of the main room to keep the floors clean. Misty sometimes worked from dusk until dawn, and then spent the hours after that sorting out Daisy's wedding, because the blonde was too stressed to do it herself. Misty planned the location, bought the dress, organized the flowers, dealt with the caterer, planned the decorations, and was now dealing with pictures, DJs and whatever else was involved in a wedding. On her own.

Regardless of what Gary thought, she was a powerful woman, misdirected, but powerful.

"I.. I can't do this right now. I need some air, could you, Misty?" Daisy practically threw herself out of her chair in her run to the kitchen door, taking the jacket hung on the hook and abandoning Misty with a surprised expression.

They both listened for a while, until Daisy's feel clomped down the distance of the gym during closed hours, and slammed shut with the jingle of a distant bell.

"That was..." Gary started, eyes drifting back to Misty who nonchalantly took the abandoned notebook and started putting names and information together.

"What are you doing?" Was he insulted on her behalf? For allowing Daisy to allow her to assume control so easily, or was he more disturbed that she assumed responsibility so naturally.

"...the seating chart? Do you think we should sit parents with other parents?" Misty questioned and Gary shook his head.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?" Misty asked innocently, brushing her bangs from her face. Gary's face screwed up, a dark sarcasm coating his eyes.

"Touch yourself at night?—no, take over for her when it's her wedding. Let her plan it."

Misty stared at him, awestruck for a moment, then her brows lowered. "Yeah, but I'm better at it, besides, it's my job as her sister to do this kind of stuff."

"What about the gym? You're understaffed. You're easily doing the job of four people."

"I put the other workers on vacation so the extra money could pay for Daisy's wedding."

"And you're okay with this?"

"Yeah, it's just money and time, Gary. I'd much rather see my sister happy on her one big day." Misty huffed, tired of Gary's forever-better-than-thou persona. "Maybe if you'd get your selfish head out of your ass you could see a bit more clearly."

"Hey, I just bailed you out." he grumbled, insulted by being called selfish! He was not being selfish, he was the least selfish person he knew, as of late!

"Why?" Misty questioned, "Because you really wanted to help me, or because you wanted to stick it to Ash? Maybe it's even because you wanted to retain some realm of superiority. Either way, they were selfish reasons, and you and I both know it." Misty gestured between them, and then looked back down to her papers and clucked her tongue.

"...not that I'm not grateful, I am, it's just, you don't have to lie to me about why you do this."

Gary's stomach twisted inside and he hunched over the table to glare at her.

"Little late do say you're grateful for it, after calling my coming out here selfish."

Misty exhaled, and looked at him expectantly. "Yes, because you came all the way from Johto because we're such good friends."

"God, where do you get off acting like such a bitch all of a sudden?"

"Excuse me?" She blinked, sitting back, completely unaware by how bitchy she sounded.

"You finally got a boyfriend, which does nothing but wear you down, and you think you're better than everyone else?" at his accusation, Misty slammed her folder onto the table and glared up at Gary.

"Then why did you come here?"

"I was worried, obviously! Someone has to be!" his proclamation was loud, rattling the glasses on the table while he sat back and folded his arms. Misty looked down quickly, ashamed of how she was acting and cracked her neck.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just stressed out is all."

"I know. Which is why I'm here." He paused, shaking his head. "And before you accuse me of chasing tail, I could never do that to Ash, even I have standards."

"I know. I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me." her eyes flicked up to meet his, cerulean green with a hint of overwhelming sadness in them while she scratched off another name to place it somewhere else on the seating chart. Eventually, a long sigh left her lips and she leaned back, distressed.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, honestly. Some days I'm so wound up I think my head might just pop off. Then when he's around, things are so good for a little while..."

Gary's ears perked up at her soft tone, the infliction in her voice presented a vulnerability she never had and she looked beaten.

"I just feel like we're moving in completely different directions. Getting together didn't change that, we're just as...separated as we were before and it's just...we're so different now and who we were aren't..." She looked up, and Gary saw the disdain in her eyes—seeing Gary made thins complicated, because Gary was Ash's friend, not hers. Everyone she knew outside of some close relatives knew Ash, and were Ash's friends before hers.

"I didn't think it was going to be this hard." She admit, exhaling quietly and then shaking her head. The pen slipped from her fingers, rolling down the table and hitting the floor with a heavy thud. "...things are just so complicated now."

Gary wasn't sure what to tell her. He couldn't tell her it would be alright, the pure, negative energy pouring from every orifice on her body prevented his lips from moving and so he nodded quietly, and let her scoop together her thoughts, and tidy up her sisters sloppy seating arrangement.

Eventually, Gary set his mug on the table, in preparation to excuse himself.

"...You were right, they were selfish reasons." Gary announced while he stood up. "I could lie and say they weren't, but really..." he nodded his head to one side quietly, recalling his weird acts of heroism.

"Maybe I just wanted to show you what you could have had."

Misty nodded very slowly, refusing to look up at him, and he could see the anger ticking in he eyelids. Gary knew what he had to say wouldn't change her mind, but at some level, he felt happy that he was still able to get under her skin in some way.

"Anyways, I'm off to Johto now. Let me know how things work out." He waved at Misty, who nearly cracked her pen in half while he walked the long distance of the gym in complete silence.

For awhile, he expected her to run after him to give him an earful, to thank him for the millionth time that week for helping her out; maybe even calling him out on his disdain and resentment for the situation their beloved teenage hormones were dragging them into. When he finally reached the exit door undisturbed by the pretty redhead, and the ringer above him indicated he was exiting the building, Gary reminded himself how far that ship had sailed.

She only had eyes for him.

XOX

Getting his mind off of Misty and Ash was no easy task. He flew to Ecruteak City only minutes after leaving the Cerulean City gym, and the angry messages left from Ash over the next week didn't lessen the disturbance.

"You're lucky I'm not there, or I'd kick your ass!" Ash had text him over his most recent discovery of Gary having spent a week in Cerulean City.

Ash's first text was then immediately followed with: "I'm joking, I wouldn't do that. I know you were only helping. Thank you for being there...but I'm still pissed. Was she doing okay?"

Followed by: "But seriously, you didn't try anything, right?"

Followed by: "Why aren't you answering meeee? She seemed upset, was everything okay? Why did she need you to vouch for her? She won't tell me. :("

Gary didn't have the gumption to reply to Ash right away, he had business to attend to, legendary pokemon to research, mountains to climb and hills to discover. Besides, Ash should have known by now how to react to Misty. He couldn't depend on other people to keep his relationship stable for the rest of his life.

Yet, there was only so many messages Gary could take, literally, Ash was going to rack up his international texting fees, and he didn't have the money to pay for them right now. Not everyone was a champion, after all!

"If you have so much time to text me, maybe you should spend some more time with her?" Was Gary's simple solution that received no snark reply. Good, because Gary didn't have it in him right now to form angry words, and he was drained of sarcastic valor.

Gary Oak was a smart man, smarter than most people ever gave him credit for—and he knew he wasn't in love with Misty. She was just the first person to treat him like a person instead of like an idol, or like Professor Oak's grandson. Next to Ash, Misty was really his only friend; a weird relationship at the very least, but time changed him and made him better. Time made everyone better.

Eventually, around midnight Ash replied, and wondered when exactly they were on normal, friendly terms. Was it Johto six years ago? When he and Ash worked together before their final match as rivals?

"Thank you". Was Ash's reply to Gary's advice—advice that should have been common knowledge, but given Ash's little knowledge of human nature and girls in general, he would be lucky if he lost his virginity before he was forty! Poor Misty, Ash probably didn't even know what intimacy was at this rate!

Gary groaned and rubbed his temples with his fingers. While researching some religious artifacts connected to the legendary pokemon of the famous city, a phoenix said to make wishes come true, he wondered how pathetic his life had become to be thinking about someone else as a couple, when he should have been focusing on himself the last couple of weeks.

Honestly, Gary had been doing anything possible to stay out of Pallet Town, and away from Professor Oak's laboratory. He didn't want to return until he had something of value to show his grandfather. Since they were kids, professor Oak seemed more like the grandfather to Ash than to Gary, and maybe a little bit of Gary's spite came from that. What little boy wouldn't be angry with their own grandfather for picking favorites, when his own blood was not the favored?

Gary felt a chill run up his spine from the wind blowing in from the window, and he pushed off his blankets to close them. Everything was easier for Ash, even when he didn't deserve what he had, he always had the happy ending. First with Misty, then the championship, and whenever he wanted to find a legendary pokemon, they practically fell in his lap.

Gary actually had to friggin look for them.

"Why don't you just travel with Ash? He's a legendary pokemon magnet." Dawn suggested to him at their last meeting, and he felt his skin crawl while digging his nails into the wooden window sill.

Beside his deeply embedded rivalry with Ash, it was mostly because Gary was stubborn and relentless. He wanted his feats to be his feats, not to be overshadowed by Ash who would steal the show. The Kalos Regional Champion was a saint in the pokemon training world, he was well known through most regions even before he became a champion and they were ridiculous shoes to fill. Since when did it become like that? Gary chasing Ash, whereas Ash used to chase him. How he might had fallen.

Recalling the time he wrote on the Cerulean City sign, Gary scratched at his hair and slammed his forehead against the window in his best attempt to repress memories.

This was stupid!

Gary mother flippin' Oak didn't have problems!

"Get over yourself, Oak." He told himself, waving his cares off with a swish of his hand, and putting his favorable mask up for no one other than himself before crashing back into bed.

He was going to get a long night sleep, put this whole thing behind him, and find that frickin' legendary before the summer was over. Only then would he be able to face his grandfather as an accomplished enough researcher to walk in the old man's foot steps.

Actually, he wouldn't sleep.

Gary sat up swiftly, clicking on the light beside his bed and gleaming light into his otherwise empty sleeping chambers and grabbed his notes journal and started scribbling.

Even if Gary lacked in the luck category, he was at the very least efficient.

Author's Note:

-shows up-

-leaves this here-

Hi guys! How's it goin!?

Also, I stopped doing the 'week' thing, only because it was putting a dampener on my writing. That gives me the ability to write in timeskips and etc. I'll put them in periodically though!

I felt like it was also important to have a little outsiders perspective on Misty; since up until this point she has been seen as ooglie eyed for Ash (and what happened to her after that last chapter)—but I wanted to show that she was still working, moving forward and doing her own thing; everything has just been kind of messy as well, though.

Also, I needed to fit the Gary chapter in here so his feelings are expressed, otherwise, the next chapter is going to...WELL, don't lynch me.