-CHAPTER FIVE-
THE IDIOT & THE LOVE STRUCK TEEN
Sunday Evening, 27th September 2009
CHRISTIAN
IN MY LEFT HAND held what should be the most important thing, Ana's number. As always, I've fucked it up. All I could think of was the soppy poster, hanging in Mia's bedroom at Mom and Dad's:
"One of the hardest things to do in life is letting go of what you thought was real."
I never understood that poster until this moment, it makes sense now. Losing any possibility of a relationship with her, it's hard to get my head around. She's gone and a mammoth task to find her, if I'm ever going to achieve that!
Why did I even consider putting myself out there? Who's to blame of course fucking Elliot!
Staring at the wet note, I guess this is the universe telling me I should have folded and never brought my cards to the table.
Why is this even rattling me to the core? I should be focusing on GEH and Roslyn.
Don't ever call her Roslyn, or she'll have your balls.
Flipping and twisting my cell in my hand, thinking if I message every single cell number possible: could I find Ana? Of course the one million options; it would take, a year. A Fucking Year! Would she even want me after a year?
To be precise it would be 347 days solid without breaks.
Why do I need to be decent with math but a complete fuck up with the opposite sex? Not just any woman but a gorgeous, intelligent one, my Pixie. Ana.
"I'm falling for you Ana." These five words are playing through my head over and over. Individually these words mean nothing, but combined together…
Fuck!
Resting my unkempt head of curls in my hands, elbows making indents on my knees, the options were to start drinking or cry. My life is a mess.
Pussy.
BANG, BANG, BANG!
Flicking my head up, I stared at the door. Knowing it was Elliot, I felt numb and unable to speak. I couldn't even move.
Why did I even call him?
"Christian, open up!" he banged on my door, "Come on open up! I know it's heart breaking, fucking your first dude, but come on… open the fucking door," Yelling at the closed door, just at the level so the whole apartment complex to hear.
Thankfully I'm leaving on Thursday and I don't need to deal with my neighbors any longer. SHIT! I'm leaving on Thursday. That makes only four days to find her.
Limping to the door still feeling the effects of Vodka and my cut foot, I unlocked it to find a disheveled Elliot.
"What the fuck Christian?" His brows raised to his hairline. I could only shrug, confused.
"I need thirty bucks quick. Hey—" he stopped short, running his middle finger down the side of his face, wiggling his bottom lip and ending kissing that finger clearly for me to see.
Punching him in the chest, I hissed, "Fuck off," as he stepped back gasping for air. I continued staring, eyeing him up and down, apprehensively, "Why do you need money Ell? Forget to pay the whore again?"
"Oh, touché brother. That's a low blow, but it's a N.O. That whore you're referring to, she has a name, Kate."
BEEP, BEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP.
The drivers horn sounded, extremely loud, which was not helping my head.
"Fuck, C I need to pay the him. I wasn't going to walk like fifty miles. So hand it over, thirty bucks." he drew out a hand, while rubbing his injured chest with the other.
"Hang on," I sighed.
Why do I have an idiot for a brother? Why does he never have any cash when I'm around? Finding my leather wallet on the coffee table within last night's myriad of things. Opening it, I only had two twenties left.
Well, I don't expect to see that forty bucks again.
"Here," I shoved the notes in his face.
"Whoa bro, take it easy. Someone's a moody bastard today!" He chuckled while running down the stairs to the driver.
When he returned, Elliot sang to himself, a little too cheery and rather more than usual. Sinking my sorry ass on the couch, I was far from that, happiness.
As he marched himself through my apartment his smile was unavoidable, "Why are you so happy?" I crossed my arms huffing like a child.
"Oh extremely content," He sung, "Also I'm ten bucks richer. Sucker," waving the bill in front of my face.
"What are you, eight?" Shaking my head, knowing the undeniable evidence my brother is an idiot.
"God no, more like twel—" If looks could kill, my sight would have castrated him, "Enty-two. Shit a brick bro." He continued, "I'm trying to lighten the mood, haven't you heard of sarcasm before, but I am ten dollars richer," he persisted to wave the bill in the air.
"I'm surprised you even know the definition of sarcasm. How the fuck did you graduate?"
"I didn't," Shocked with my mouth wide open with his revelation.
I know Elliot is all about the shock value, knocking me to the core with idiotic things. Usually they start on a biblical scale but I'm actually stupefied. He is the biggest moron out there, so how the hell did he trick Mom and Dad into thinking he graduated? And hang on, why do I get all the shit because I'm quitting Harvard but he can fail and it's completely fine! What the fuck?
"Are you serious? What did they sa—" he stopped me.
"Whoa bro," shaking his hands and head, "Who's a little gullible today!"
Why do I even fall for his ignorance?
Changing the subject completely, he pointed to the empty blue bottle on the coffee table, "Ahh, now someone else had a good night. I'm impressed, a whole bottle."
"There are two more empties in my room," Elliot's laugh lingered, never easing.
"Pizza? Really is that what you gays eat before you get off. I thought you would have been more sophisticated, canapés and tapas or some shit."
"Really Ell? I'm not fucking gay. It's so demonizing the way you use the word gay. Just stop being a dick."
"Dude, ok."
Well that shut him up for a second.
Elliot sat on the couch, looking almost studying the apartment and my face. This silence is worrying, I know he's planning something.
"WHAT!" I yelled, waiting for an inappropriate retaliation.
"You still look weird having dark hair, is that some kind of emotion thing?… Gay…" Cutting him off, with my single middle finger.
"I wanted to do it, change. Now not so much, I'm going to wash it out when we get back to Seattle."
"Gaaaaayeeee."
Fuck he makes me furious.
"Cock sucker!" I yelled knowing straight away it was poor word choice.
"Yes, you are brother. Game. Set and Match!" Swinging his imaginary racket, ending with a victorious trophy hold.
"It's not a competition Ell," straining to get my words out.
I need a breather from the buffoon. I tensed while getting up, but ass my still hurt like a mother fucker; going commando probably wasn't the best option.
"Fuuuck!" I screamed as my foot hit the floor with a huge amount of pressure. It was throbbing and the pain was utterly unbearable.
"Bro what's wrong? I told you to keep up the Advil for those headaches."
"No it's my… fucking. FUUUCK! " I tried to lift my foot, but it was stinging too much as blood fell.
It was then I realized smears of blood were all over the floor and partly on the couch. I'm gathering it's from my foot. Now I need to get everything professionally cleaned. Fucking great.
"Bro, bro, sit down. What the fuck did you do? Quick, elevate it on the table and I'll apply the pressure," he said, the worry hitching in the back of his throat.
In tears I yelped, "I tried to tell you on the phone… but you were laughing."
"C I'm sorry, I was lapping it up." He stared at my foot. "It looks really bad, I'm no doctor but—"
"Thank God. I don't want you as my doctor and no one would employ you as one, you would be a legal hazard."
"Thanks for having faith in me bro, maybe we should go to emergency?" He gave a worried look.
"No, I'll be fine." Shaking my head, this is something that I hate: doctors and hospitals.
"Says the guy with red eyes from crying and blood running down his foot."
"Ok, ok." I didn't want to discuss this any further, especially why my eyes are red raw.
Elliot paused, in a split second like a kid at Christmas knowing he has the best present under the tree from Santa. His eyes glowed and it's obvious why. He's thinking about driving my baby. My Red Audi RS6.
"So I get to drive it, don't I," Elliot said with all smiles showing his pearly whites.
Could it get any worse? I don't want him driving her, but my fucking foot.
"My foot hurts like a mother-fucker and I think I'm still drunk. When was your last drink?" I turned to look at my older so-called more responsible child according to my parents. Elliot started to pretend gulping down air from my empty Vodka bottle.
"Oh I thought you told me to hit back tens shots a minute a go," and he winked at me.
"Fuck you!"
"I believe you said that to your gay lover last night."
"Don't even push it Elliot," Staring him down.
"And that you did. Pushed it hard," he winked.
"Do you want to drive her?" shaking my head, worried to death he's either going to kill us or destroy my baby.
"So you're not denying it. You are gay?"
I've had enough of his taunting and began to yell, "I'm not fucking gay. I had sex with a woman last night and this morning. Actually where you're sitting right now," The speed Elliot jumped was quite satisfying.
"Ok where's the proof?" With his arms crossed, he was waiting and needed evidence.
"Umm, there's blood on the sheets," Rubbing my neck, "well that might be from my ass."
"Yep gaaaaay," I cringed, again not the best choice of words.
"No dipshit, I've got carpet burn on my ass." I said rubbing my rump.
Then I realized he would have to believe me, "I have a photo of her on my cell."
"Ok this will be interesting, I'll wait."
Looking through my cell, I found the photo. Groaning at my cell I can't believe how terrible and blurry it was. You could only see the top of her head and a little of her nose. Shit. It could have been anyone, male or female looking at the photo again. Fuck. I threw my cell at him and he looked, shaking his head.
"Shit photo. No evidence at all. Hey I need to take a piss, give me a sec and I'll drive you to emergency," winking and whispering "gaaaaay" as he left the room.
I heard Elliot scream. Shall I say like a girl squealing? I couldn't even be bothered to get up since he's always dramatic.
He walked back into the room, with the look that he has met his fate.
"I believe you bro, you hooked up with a chick." How does that work, I didn't even do anything.
"What? How can you do a three-sixty on me?" Completely puzzled.
"The toilet seat was down. Now I know you very well, we shared a bathroom for years and never once you dropped that lid. Wholly fuck, you fucked a chick."
"Come on it's getting late, I want to get my foot checked, ok. I don't want to stay at the hospital any longer than I need to," I started to wave my hands around the apartment, "I have so much packing to do and now I need to organize a professional cleaner," looking towards the carpet, "before the movers comes on Thursday," rubbing my head thinking. I still need to put up with my brother for another week.
I tried to get up again, this time a lot slower, but Elliot looked at me with worry.
"What now?"
"Did you use her bags?" pointing to his crotch.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Bags, you know don't be a loner cover your boner, No glove no love, don't be a joker wrap your poker. Fucking. Condoms. Christian? I just checked your drawer and the box is still sealed. You must have had an experienced lady! Nice." He was actually rather impressed and I was slightly pissed that he went through my drawer.
Fuck, honestly I can't remember. She said she was a virgin; I said I was too, then… then… fuck! Groaning at the memory I pray to God she was on the pill or some kind of birth control.
"So from the look on your face, you didn't. Your rein of irresponsible child is going to go for a little longer I see. Say, ahh nine months? Bro maybe you should get a full sex health screen."
"No that's ok, she was clean," I know, I don't need to check, I just hope he doesn't push it.
"How? Really Christian. Fuck, you are still so innocent aren't you!" he raised his voice slightly.
I couldn't help myself, the words just fell out of my mouth, "She was a virgin, okay."
"What the fuck! Please say this wasn't your first time…" Elliot looked straight into my eyes, he was digging and I don't know how long I was going to last.
All I could do was shrug my shoulders and stare at my older brother. This really wasn't something I wanted to confess to him.
"I know intimacy has always been hard for you, you haven't fallen for her, have you?"
I sat back on the couch, raised my foot on the coffee table again and the single gesture of dropping my head back looking at the ceiling said it all.
You're fucked Christian.
"Wow, I wouldn't have picked it. Virgin at 19. Two virgins fucking," he continued to stare at me.
"Umm can you not say it like that," with a little remorse in my voice.
"Fuck even Mia had sex younger than you and she's 16. Fuck Christian, well… so what's the problem? Didn't she like you?" he said patting my head, knowing it would be uncomfortable touching anything else.
"No. It's… it's this," not lifting my head once, I passed him the wet note.
"Oh, well this is a fucked up. Now I understand why you were so batshit crazy on the cell. Um bro, your blood is spreading into the pizza box. Where are the keys?"
Just like that we left for the emergency room.
…..
"I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND why Mom and Dad never gave me one," Elliot said while stroking and sniffing the steering wheel repetitively.
"Do you want me to leave you two alone?" pointing at the steering wheel.
"Will you?" he winked.
"Oh God, no fucking way!" I screeched, "I believe Dad never gave you one after you crashed his car. It was probably not the most wisest thing you have ever done."
"I didn't crash it." He scoffed, "I just drove into a parked car," he was still confused why he didn't get an awesome car like my baby.
"And here's the thing Ell, if I remember correctly, you were 15."
"So, what's the problem?"
"You were fucking drunk!" Still the clown as always. "Please, seriously Ell, oh fuck," I knocked my foot screaming in pain.
I'm praying, fingers crossed the stars are aligned and that no black cats are prowling the streets because if he puts a scratch on her, he's a dead man.
…..
THREE AND A HALF LONG HOURS later I was back in my apartment, nine stitches in my foot and multiple painkillers in my system.
I was surprised by Elliot's maturity during the entire visit, he is commonly the village idiot. The shock was not one, but rather three nursing staff tried to get his number, instantly they were shut down.
"I'm a taken man," Elliot proudly announced.
"Since when?" I replied.
"Since I met the woman of my dreams last night," he smiled just thinking of her.
"Nurse, do you have a bucket, I think I'm going to puke…"
It was nice having my brother with me, not the asshole most have grown accustomed to meeting.
As I moped on my couch, thinking tomorrow is another day without Ana. Ell suggested to do something about it and try student enrollments since there shouldn't be many women fast tracking to graduation, majoring literature with the name Ana.
Try was the operative word.
…..
Monday 1st October 2009
"ANSWER YOUR FUCKING CELL!" I call out, falling with any form of patience.
The idiot has my car! MY CAR!
"Oh hi," A breathy female answered, "Oh, you hmmm, must be oooh… Christian," She laughed and groaned simultaneously.
"What? Who are you and where the fuck is Elliot?" He wasn't far as his groans were loud and clear over this giggling female.
"Give me the phone Kate. No give it…here…" He paused, "Oh my fucking God…" Elliot groaned on the line.
"Fuck Elliot you have my car! I can't get to student enrollment without it. Please tell me you aren't…" I hesitated, trying to slow my breathing, "Elliot get the fuck out of my car. Stop fucking IN MY CAR!" yelling into the cell as my pulse raced for all the wrong reasons.
The groans intensified. I hung up immediately. He's fucking in my car, that's MY CAR! Here I was thinking last night he had changed, but I guess I wrong.
CHRISTIAN: Have you finished? Well when you have, clean it ASAP! I don't want MY car smelling like sex.
ELLIOT: All done. Winnnnner! Already ahead of u lil bro, detailers are on their way in 20 mins. C u back at the apartment in 2hrs.
CHRISTIAN: 2 hours? Lunch is on me, if you come sooner?
ELLIOT: No can do. Lunch with Kate.
CHRISTIAN: You've got 2 hours. I'm waiting.
…..
LATER THAT AFTERNOON Elliot eventually made an appearance. Far from the negotiated two hours, rather four.
"Sorry bro, had to go another round or two," Elliot stretching his arms and neck.
"Not in my fucking car I hope!" I strained through my teeth.
"No, it's too cramped in this little thing," He winked, "we went back to her apartment."
Walking to the enrollment and student services building, I was doing everything possible to help the odd to finding Ana? I was praying, crossing my fingers and even toes.
As we entered the small office a tall lanky gentleman was sitting at the front desk.
"Good afternoon, how may I help you?"
"Hi my name is Christian Grey and I'm trying to find the details of a student," trying to stay calm.
"Are you a current student?"
Fuck
"Well yes, I mean no," shit, "I, I, I…."
"Use your words bro, you sound like a retard," Elliot rubbed my head.
"Do you realize you are an embarrassment to the Grey name," I said shaking my head giving him the stink eye.
I continued to speak with the gentleman at the desk, "sorry about that. I finished last week. I withdrew from a Bachelor of Business," I could feel the sweat forming on my hands.
"Are you family or a spouse of this student you are wishing to access details?"
Double shit.
"He only hopes dude, " Elliot cut in.
"Fucking shut up Ell," I strained to a whisper, right in Elliot's face. "Could you just wait in the car. No, no, I change my mind, I want you here." Fuck he's a toddler, I can't trust him with anything without adult supervision, which includes my car.
"Apologies for my brother, as I was saying. No, I'm neither family or a spouse. I met this student Saturday night and I'm hoping to meet her again. She is 19, fast tracking her Literature degree and possibly graduating next year in May. Her name is Ana."
"No surname? Well I'm sorry Mr Grey but due to privacy laws I am unable to give details of any students, only if you are a spouse or family member. Even if it was, it would be extremely difficult to find any student without a surname."
"Fuck!" I let out the breath I was holding, utterly disappointed.
I couldn't cope and walked out. Elliot soon toddled behind.
"Bro, wait up," limping slightly since my stitches were hurting. I needed to get to the car, I was far in a mood to talk to him. "Bro, stop!" Elliot ran up to me and grabbed my arms. I flinched back and just stared at his face.
I'm broken. She's gone. Many have told me love is worthless and for fools. I was just naïve to fall for a magical pixie called Ana.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch you." He pulled back.
"It's ok. Let's go, I just want to try and forget all of this."
"You know she'll turn up."
"Forget it. She's gone."
…..
ELLIOT TRIED HIS BEST to cheer me up that night from belching the alphabet to singing in falsetto the best of Whitney Huston. For some reason it wasn't working. It wasn't even pissing me off.
Out of nowhere Elliot regressed to having the attention span of a flea as he asked about my apartment.
"Bro, how did you get this apartment any ways?" He stated as he looked around the apartment. "My apartment was nothing like this. What did you do, to convince the parentals to lease it?"
"They didn't," I said quietly.
"What? Do they know?"
"Well, sort of," I answered raising a brow.
"What do you mean sort of? Whose apartment is it?"
"A friend ok," I harshly said wanting to shut down the conversation.
"What? You don't have friends. Who owns the apartment bro?" He pestered.
I dropped my head into my hands, "Mrs Lincoln."
A/N:
Thank you for reading the new reworked/beta-ed "Misplaced & Found." If you haven't already done so, please favourite, follow, review and PM me regarding any M&F questions or concerns. If you haven't checked out my Pinterest, details are on my profile page. See you soon for chapter 06.
missmusicteach
