Equanimity Chapter 17: week twelve

Laughter was the best medicine in a crisis. At the core of a human's heart, of a pokemon's heart, there was joy, and happiness. Laughter was the key to that euphoric feeling.

Unfortunately for Dawn, her laughter was soaked up from the rain, a seemingly light drizzle turned full rain storm in under ten minutes. On the other side of the world from Ash, a million miles away, Dawn's blue hair was wet, stuck to her pale skin, and her dress for the next contest was ruined in her bag. Not to mention her new outfit! She spent the last two days working out the kinks behind wearing a skirt and jeans, now she felt like a wet dog in the middle of a rapid, summer heat!

Upon kicking open the doors to the nearest pokemon center, Dawn ripped the plastic bag she had been using as a make-shift umbrella away from her head, and threw it onto the ground in a proud, dignified, and possible uppity portrayal of dismissal. Stupid rain! Stupid plastic bag! Stupid Johto Region! What was she thinking coming back here? The weather was as unpredictable as Ash when Misty was mentioned!

"Ugghh" The coordinator roared from tired lips while she brushed droplets of rain water from her face. Around her, many people watched her with a curious expression. Her attire was ruined, from her tan light jacket and blue hoodie, to her pink skirt and blue jeans. Worst of all, they looked at her with expectation; that she should have known a storm was coming.

"What are you lookin' at!?" She shrieked loudly, jarring the audiences' attention back to their pokemon and conversations prior to her arrival. While the familiar chattering of the groups around her mumbled on about pointless things, Dawn rung out her hair, and tugged off her poorly-chosen tan jacket, and started on her hoodie when a familiar, narcissistic tone penetrated her tired ears.

"You know, if you scream a little bit louder next time, someone might actually wonder if you're on drugs." Gary's voice, and his annoying, always-gelled hair approached Dawn quietly, with his hands stuffed deep into his white lab coat. Where his grandfather was a lovely poet, Gary was a ruggishly handsome, researcher in training.

"A hello would suffice." Dawn whined, a sigh escaping her lips while she waved him over to the seat she collapsed onto. He remained standing and tilted his head one direction at her, then grimaced.

"I knew you came to Johto recently, but, huh, what's with the uh..." he gestured to her mismatched outfit, and Dawn rubbed her temples. Her patience was thin, but never too thin to lash out at people.

"I was in the middle of trying out something new when this freak rain storm hit."

A smirk played over Gary's lips, "You mean the 'sudden' rainstorm that has been brewing overhead for the last eight hours?" Not even Gary could let her lack of observation slip, could he?

She pursed her lips.

"Well," She scoffed, licking her lips while she brushed an amount of hair from her forehead. "I didn't think it was actually going to rain."

"Uh-huh." Gary chuckled, handing her a towel that he had slung under his arm and taking a seat beside her, careful not to be touched by her wet clothes. "The same way you wouldn't expect the sun to rise after it's set?" He smiled, and Dawn glared daggers at him.

"Leave the poetry to your grandfather." She quipped, drying her face and leaning back in the cushion chair. Scowling, and then shrugging, Gary crossed his legs.

"How are festivals in Johto treating you? Have you worked out some of your problems?"Dawn froze at his quesiton.

She had been in Johto for a little over a month now, and had only entered into one contest. Mostly because she was trying to find her footing—entering contests she hadn't entered before, and attempting to earn a spot in the advanced tournament with perfect results. If she won three consecutive matches with perfect marks, maybe she could be bumped from the average competitions, into the advanced matches. Her face screwed up in thought.

"Well, sort of. I've been trying to focus on myself, you know?"

"Is that why you haven't been in any contests?"

A puzzled look encapsulated Dawn's expression. "Are you keeping tabs on me, now?" She questioned, and Gary gawked, and choked on his own spit.

"Wha-? No way. I just, well, I pay attention to the battle network." He insisted, brushing his hair from his face in that way he did when he was flustered. A trait that he and Drew both shared. Perhaps it was a pretty boy thing? A perfectly trimmed, blue eyebrow quirked.

"Well, what about you? Weren't you in Cerulean City the other day trying to steal my best friend's girlfriend, or something?" She had him on the ropes, and a small tickle formed in her chest were humor threatened to pour out.

"I wasn't trying to-!" Gary's head whipped around to face her, cheeks flushed. "Now who's keeping tabs on people?"

Dawn reeled backwards, crossing her arms confidently. "I happen to hear all about the news with Misty in it, all this talk about trying to reclaim her title and break away from the home-wrecker stereo type and apply for an Elite Four position is something that doesn't fall on deaf ears, you know. Contest girls have to talk about something."

She was so forthcoming, so earnest and snippy Gary felt his insides cringe, and his eye twitch. Of course it was gossip Dawn heard. She was the queen of gossip, if he ever saw one. If there was something to be known, she was the one to ask. Her fingers were always dipped in the melting pot; the problem was that she was never in it herself!

Gary's lips pursed.

"So, I helped her out. I pray there's no news going around about us." He winced. A glimmer of mischievousness slant into Dawn's eye, and she grinned at him.

"Oh, but there is."

Gary groaned and fell backwards in his chair. Of course, that was his luck. He could only imagine what hell this was causing for Ash; more so what horrible, anxious jealousy Misty was being burdened with by his impractically immature childhood friend. Hopefully, his visit to the youngest Waterflower remained unknown to the Kalos Regional Champion. Save him from the trouble of being punched again upon their next meeting.

Having read his thoughts, Dawn kicked up a wet knee over her other, and let her chin fall into her palm.

"Fancy seeing you here, anyways." She announced. "Don't you think it's strange we keep running into each other?" She added, and Gary sat back.

"Not really." Glad to have a conversational switch, he relaxed. "This is Ecruteak City, I was excavating some old ruins at the north west part of town when the storm rolled in." He brushed his hand under his chin, seemingly smarter than he actually was.

"Trying to uncover the mystery of the phoenix pokemon." He added, sounding a lot cooler than the job really was.

"So, you've been looking for fossilized dung and playing in the dirt?" She grinned, knowing the comment would burrow beneath his skin. Like so, Gary nearly jumped forward, out of his seat. Like Ash, he hated his feats being stepped on so candidly, and so when he glowered at Dawn she pat him on the shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted. It's been quite the walk from Violet City." Under her palm, Gary relaxed and narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're traveling town to town, but not entering contests?"
Dawn shrugged. "Mmm, no, I'm waiting to compete in the best ones, I want to join the advanced contests."

Gary scoffed. "But you're not a top coordinator."
"No, but I will be after the Hoenn Grand festival in a few months." She mused. "More than likely, if I can compete in perfect competitions, I can join early."

Gary grimanced. "That's pretty ambitious."

"What can I say, I'm a risk taker?" She grinned and Gary smoothed the fabric of his coat. It was an off handed comment, but one that synced the pupils of their eyes together, and a gentle hum crossed between them.

"Well, Miss Risk Taker, we should get you cleaned up before you catch a cold."

"Pssh." Dawn breathed, blowing a strand of drying hair from her face. "I would kill for a shower."

Gary nodded, though knew she wouldn't have to kill as they made their way to the back lobby, past the crowd of people who waited for the storm to pass. At the room across from there, a bewildered, and over-worked Nurse Joy plucked at her pink hair with an exasperated sigh when Gary and Dawn approached her.

"Hey, Nurse Joy." Gary greeted her with the calm nature of a truly-born gentlemen, unlike his normal candor. "We were wondering if you had anymore available rooms for the night?"

A look of displeasure crossed her features. "No, I'm all booked up. You'll have to find room somewhere in the lobby... I'm sorry." She whined, rushing by them to a group of younger trainers who were trying to light something on fire.

Having rushed passed them so quickly, she didn't see the look of fear, mixed with an overly high pitched panic that formed in the back of Dawn's mind, and she cracked her neck to look at Gary, who was seemingly as concerned as she was. Not for himself, he was fine sleeping on a couch, but for Dawn, who, without a shower, was likely to lose her mind.

"Maybe there's a-."

"Dawn? ...Gary?"

Man, she was popular today. "What?" Dawn cracked, looking over her shoulder where she saw Drew standing with his hands in his pockets, and an abnormal lack of brunette bouncing beside him. That same, better-than-thou grin on his face while he looked at her predicament. Her attention was elsewhere, however.

"Where's May?"

The mellow, hurt expression that returned her question offered up a night full of conversation.

XOX

After the night was over, and stories of recent adventures; or lack there of, were shared between the three of them, Gary and Dawn shared Drew's room; and by that, Dawn slept in the bed, and the two boys shared the cold, hard ground.

It was fate, no, destiny that she would meet them both here. Drew, who was a top coordinator, the perfect person to appeal to the league coordinators to let her into the advanced tournaments, and the grandson of the renown Professor Oak! With their influence, she had the perfect sponsors for her next match; a match that would launch her into stardom! This was the break she needed, now, she only needed to act on it, and victory was within her grasp.

"So May's taking a break?" Dawn asked while Drew fidgeted in his black pants.

"Yeah, she is staying with her parents right now." Drew explained that morning while Gary was out, grabbing a coffee. For himself. Before he got even more cranky. The man was impossible to be around in the morning.

"Tough break." Dawn muttered, adjusting her vest, and smoothing out her pink skirt that ended at the middle of her thighs. She wore stockings beneath that, matched with a pair of pink and black hiking boots that resolved the chic look, into that of a punk-style. "That's a shame, I was really looking forward to battling her in the festival..." She sighed, to which Drew nodded silently.

"She's a great battler." He announced. "I don't know why she doesn't see that."

"Because girls are crazy." Dawn announced happily, cracking a girl-ish grin that petrified Drew where he sat.

"I really have to stop running into people I know." He said rubbing his temples. "I mean, what were the chances?

"Well, considering this is where the next advanced tournament will be held...it's not that uncommon." Dawn replied while pulling over a white toque. Drew gave her a look, something between questioning her motives, and a glare.

"You're not in the advanced competitions."

"Not yet." Dawn sang happily, spinning to the desk at the corner of the room, grinning wildly. "I figure if you and Gary put in a good word or two..."

"No." Drew snapped. "You can't just get around the rules. You have to be a top coordinator." A side of Drew that Dawn never met before, one that May told her about before surfaced. He was posh, and unpleasant, and sometimes down-right mean and uppity, a heartless being who only cared about perfection, something that made her equally as upset. Clearly, Drew was a better person with May around.

"What? I'm not going around the rules I'm just-"

"Trying to cheat the system? What, do you think if you do a few perfect contests and put on a good face they will over look your missing title? That's not how it works, Dawn, that's not fair to the rest of us that have earned it."

Dawn reeled backwards, "I earned it." She snapped. And she had! How many times had she been second place? Runner up? She was perfect in her appeal matches, she was known all throughout Sinnoh and Hoenn! She was a great coordinator!

"You haven't. Not yet." he urged with a scowl. "I'm not going to sponsor you. You have to run like the rest of us had to."

"Why?" She snapped, feeling herself unwind, as if she was talking to someone else, someone with purple hair. "Is it because you think you can't take me? I would wipe the floor with you in a match!"

Insulted, Drew rose to his feet, "Wanna put your money where your mouth is?!" Drew snapped, fire burning in his green eyes. Dawn stood, glaring back at him with the same intensity.

How in the world did they get here!? What was he so touchy about, anyways!? She was as good as he was, no, she was better than most of the people entering! She would even bet that if May was around, Drew would have fully agreed with Dawn's predicament! She wasn't moving fast enough; she had the skill, and the talent—she only needed the opportunity now.

"Yeah, let's!" She barked, the happy emotions of seeing each other again the night prior muddled behind personal vendettas, behind a squabble that neither had any control over.

The very moment their hands were on their pokeballs, prepared to battle right then, at that single moment, Gary returned holding a foam cup of coffee and a solemn expression. Standing before him were two very angry coordinators, two very powerful pokemon trainers, in a room about the size of his closet back home, preparing to battle.

"...Did... I miss something?" Gary asked, breaking the duos concentration.

"It's not worth it." Drew bit, throwing his arms down and walking away from her, shoving against Gary's shoulder upon his exit. Gary watched in dire confusion while Dawn huffed angrily.

"Who needs your help, anyway!" Dawn shouted after him, stomping her feet. "And... Don't think I wont tell May about this!" She really had no intention, telling on him over something so small, but she wanted to hurt him.

"Leave her out of this!" Drew snapped back turning around to glare at Dawn. She apparently struck a very sensitive nerve that was met with vile frustration, and a quick, jolt from the pokemon center room.

While Dawn huffed angrily, Gary slurped his coffee and eyed Dawn.

"So, I guess we won't all be traveling together after all?" He uttered, blowing the steam away from his lips while Dawn bit down on her lips, and then threw her arms up.

"I just wanted one favor! One small, insignificant favor!" she shouted while falling onto her bed, with her arms crossed. A move he mostly associate with Ash after the young man lost a battle. Gary sniffled, and sipped his coffee once more. Against his better judgment, Gary neared Dawn, and took a seat beside her, at the foot of the bed. From the window, the sun that broke up the clouds peered in and made her skin glow under the radiant beams, but she looked wilted. Torn. Maybe even a little confused. Gary wasn't as suave as Drew, as nice as Ash, or even as gentle and kind as well, any one, but he could see trouble when it was near.

"What was the favor?" He inquired against his better judgment.

Dawn sat up, as if Gary was some shoulder to cry on—the ear of an affectionate girlfriend. Dawn huffed.

"I asked him if he would vouch for me to the advanced coordinators so I could participate in the match being held here." She whined, and Gary blinked.

"...Why would he do that?" He asked stupidly. Dawn was appalled.

"Because I deserve to compete!" She said matter-of-fact and veered away from Gary as if he were fire. Gary's eyes shifted.

"...but you..haven't won a festival yet? You're...not a top coordinator? You can be as ambitious as you want, but the rules don't change."

"So? I'm as good as they are! I can compete against them."

Gary's lips pursed, and he shook his head. "That's not the point." Gary confirmed with a sigh. He shifted his coffee to the night stand beside them, and then crossed his arms tiredly.

"Dawn," He called to her affectionately, like a parent scolding a child. "Just because you're as good as they are, doesn't mean you can compete with them without earning their respect. Drew was probably insulted you would even suggest such a thing. If anyone could be vouched for and win a few perfect matches to join the advanced contests, then what would be the point of earning a spot as a top coordinator, anyways?"

Dawn wilted once more, and laid backwards with a sigh. Gary had a point. A stupid point, but a point none the less.

"That would be like Ash being able to skip the regional matches, and go directly to the Elite Four, while it might have worked twenty years ago, there are other tournaments in place now."

Dawn's eyes lifted and her mouth flat lined at his knowledge. It wasn't fair. She only lost her titles by a hair, to Zoey, to Drew, to everyone she rivaled against. Though, Gary's face scrunched up.

"...I have to wonder why you've taken a sudden interest in this anyways? I thought being a top-coordinator was your goal?"

Now it was Dawn's turn to look hurt, to be offended. How could she say in one word that it was because... well, she didn't even really know. Since leaving Hoenn, her goals weren't defined as one substantial reach, they were self-empowering motives, like her time spent in Violet City. She went to shopping centers, and tried on a million different shirts, a million different dresses, all to feel better. Dawn was focusing on herself, and her goals; but what exactly that goal was now was shrouded behind being better so someone would look at her the way Ash looks at Misty. She thought to herself shamefully then twisted away from Gary.

"Being a top-coordinator was my mom's goal. I want to be more than that."

Gary snorted. "A pokemon master?" he mocked, knowing well the subject of the joke, Ash, should have brought at least a chuckle.

Nothing.

"Dawn.." Gary tried, reaching out for her, the first time he placed a hand on her, she jolted away from him as if he was a ball of lightning, and Dawn crowded into the corner of the bed, then sprang back to her feet.

"Well, I guess that just means I need to get the title first!" She said, brushing off the situation before Gary would ask, do that thing where he acts concerned when he should have been as snippy with her as he was with Ash, or Misty; or anyone!

"I guess so." Gary echoed, looking at his hand where Dawn deflected his affections, and retreated.

He might have said more, spread some more wisdom into her mindless behavior, but she wasn't interested in the details, or being psycho analyzed, she wanted to hit the road, travel for a few more days.

"Piplup and I have some training to take care of now that the rain has cleared, so it was nice seeing you again, Gary." She paused at the door after collecting her bags, unsure of what to say to him. "Thanks...uh, for the help?" She questioned, and then stepped out of the door.

XOX

Dawn knew that it was a long shot, but at least she tried, right? Now, however, she was back at square one. While the grand festival for Johto was earlier than for Hoenn, all she would have to do is gather five ribbons and she would be set—she didn't want to. How hard would it be for them to just give her the title? She worked hard for it after all...

Or maybe she held a slight fear of inadequacy, in the sense that when faced with the final match, she couldn't win? Drew was right, it was an unfair request, but she would do anything to bury the memory currently plaguing her.

Paul's expression, the hurt and desperate confusion penetrated her mind and drove her crazy! Dawn didn't hurt people, Dawn was a people-person; people were her charm, her ideology, and after everything that happened with Paul she just wanted to...

At the end of the street, holding onto her back pack's straps and sighing tiredly, she kicked the dirt beneath her and looked up at the winding streets, to the tower in the distance, and to the sun gleaming behind the clouds. Look forward, keep going. These were the traits she lived by, and yet, she wanted to collapse.

Maybe she could follow in May's footsteps? Hang her hat up for awhile and get some much-needed rest. Though, the idea of stopping was terrifying. Her mother stopped for a few days, and that ended up being forever. Dawn wasn't ready for that.

"So, I was thinking..."

Dawn felt an annoyed sigh pester from her throat until she turned to face Gary, who was wearing only a black shirt and purple pants, without his science get-up. She fought the urge to growl.

"What do you want Gary?" She whined and he shrugged in honest response.

"I really have no idea." He admitted. "I don't even know where these random bursts of generosity are even coming from anymore. I just seem to dish out advice wherever I go." He sighed heroically. "I guess I don't like to see beautiful women down on themselves."

Dawn's face grew red in frustration, and she inhaled, puffing out her chest. "Excuse me?"

"Dawn." Gary cut her off, his smirking, adolescent boy-hood charm fading into an expression that was much older, and wiser. "I don't know what's going on with you, but if I can help..."

"You can't, don't worry about it." Dawn waved him off bravely with a smile. "I'm just, you know, growing up." She announced happily, with a taut shrug of her shoulders.

Gary didn't abandon ship, though, he followed her around the bend of the street, and down the path where her footsteps grew faster and bolder each minute until she stopped.

"Are you stalking me now?!" She yelled.

"No." Gary veered, staying a few steps away from her. "I'm just heading in this direction, too."

"Fine!" Dawn bellowed, throwing out her arms and practically stomping her feet while she passed the corner store, and made her way into the forest south of the city. Still, he was there, slower, but there.

"Seriously? What in the world are you doing?!" She shouted. "You're so annoying! It's no wonder Misty-" She stopped herself before the comment came out, and Gary wilted this time, like a dying flower. The way his shoulders fell, she could see the scorn over his face.

"You know what? I'm just trying to help, but if you don't want it then-!" Gary shouted, then turned to leave while Dawn was left waddling in her own feeling of self loathing.

Oh, that's what that feeling was. That she was running away from. She was so jealous of her friends, of her doomed career as a coordinator of... Oh.

"Gary, I'm..." She sighed, following after him. "It's just... well, I don't know. But I'm sorry I said that. I don't know anything about the two of you—not really." Dawn breathed.

"So don't be mad?" When she grabbed his shoulder to spin him around, he was grinning at her, clearly his rouse worked and she was so...boiling mad! Was this what Misty had to deal with for four years? Between Ash and Gary it was no wonder the poor woman was unstable, at best!

"I'm not." He said, looking around. "Actually, the only reason I followed you out here was because some weird guy with purple hair was lumbering around." Gary announced nonchalantly, while waving his hand above his head to indicate poor-hair coloring choices.

Dawn's face scrunched up in worry. "What?" She asked, looking around, looking for Paul. He was following her? For what reason?

Gary chuckled, wiping at his eyes.

"I'm joking." Gary said sternly. "But I should have figured it was about a boy. All you girls are the same." Gary sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets and Dawn felt her stomach lurch out of her gut. She could have throttled the man before her. His smooth voice, his toxic behavior was simply...

"It's no wonder Misty is crazy!" She shouted, shoving Gary unexpectedly. "Between Ash ignoring her and your inept sarcasm and...don't do that to me!"

"Well, it's obviously not healthy: keeping whatever happened bottled up."

"I'm not! I already found a solution!"

"But did you really? Because ignoring it seems to be working great." He rolled his eyes. "Jeeze, you're acting like Ash."

Dawn felt her patience break. "Well you're acting like—like-!" She inhaled, Gary didn't fit anyone else. There was no one who was as witty, perceptive, and as frustratingly annoying as Gary Mother Fucking Oak!

While she stared at him and his stupid pessimistic face expecting some witty, one liner and poor developed comeback, Dawn's fists clenched around his collar in a nervous fit, and she pulled him into her. He was easily half a foot taller than her—Dawn was never the tallest in her group of friends, but she could have easily been the most willful, and so she willed the professor in training forward with a jerking motion, and caught his lips with her own.

Their lips moved sloppily against one another while Dawn moaned loudly into his mouth. His hands groped inappropriately around her body, pint up frustration expressed against her body, and before he could reason with himself, Dawn had him up against the nearest solid object. A building? Neither cared at the moment when the steamy atmosphere clouded all internal judgment, and her hips plunged forward in a grinding motion. It was far from passion, too quick to be intimate; no, her approach was a hunger, a lust driven, unthinkable hunger.

"Agh-Dawn-" Gary squirmed, that's right, Gary Oak squirmed to break away from Dawn's grasp, who's well-manicured fingers dug into his torso and large, crystalline blue eyes peered into his hazel. Huffing in her best attempt to catch her breath, she licked her lips and stared ravenously up into his half-glazed, half closed eyes.

"We really shouldn't." He offered, though Dawn's eye crinkled, uncaring of who could see them. She cracked a smile.

"But you want to." She expressed while mindlessly grinding against him again. Gary refused to make any titillating expressions that would give her power over him, and so he shook his head and grasped her shoulders firmly to put distance between them. Of course, he wanted to, any man in this situation would want to! Dawn was gorgeous, young female and...

No! Gary's mind screamed at him. This was Dawn!

"You're not thinking clearly." He announced and slipped away from her, catching his breath and tugging on his collar. Dawn looked hurt; offended. But he didn't come here for this, this is exactly what he was avoiding.

"Uhh, yeah I am." She muttered.

"You can't just have, well, you know, whenever you want!" Gary shouted, gesturing to her body. Dawn looked down at herself, then to Gary.

"So it's okay when you do it? Didn't you lose your virginity when you were like, twelve?"

His face flushed. "That's not... I mean..."

"If I want to have a one-night stand, I can have a one night stand. Why should I fee guilty about it?" Dawn announced loudly, much to Gary's embarrassment who rushed forward to clasp his hand over her mouth. She narrowed her eyes at him angrily while he shushed her and lead her around a corner, where he released her.

"What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know." Dawn said abruptly. "I guess. I just..." She sighed.

"I want someone for myself, you know?" She admit, looking up at him with doe eyes, full of mirth and honesty.

"But that's not me, Dawn." Gary assured her, patting her shoulders to which she shrugged them away with a sigh. How did they end up here? In this situation? Was he leading her on? Was she leading him on? Was his help seen as sexual frustration and tension? Oh mew, help him.

"I know." She finally admit while crossing her arms.

Gary was appalled by the confession. "You know? Then why did you kiss me?" His voice even screeched. He was learning so much about himself today.

"Because..." Dawn started, then looked up over her shoulder at him. "Who do you have? What do you have? Misty's a no-go, Ash is straight, and your cheerleaders are brainless." Dawn flicked her wrist while she stood straight at him, shoulders squared. "You're almost nineteen now, you don't have a girlfriend, or a life outside of...what's wrong with it?" She huffed, edging towards him.

"Besides, who are you to tell me what to do... and...What have you got to lose?"

"It's not about me." As much as it ached him to say, he worried about Dawn. Girls were...more emotionally attached than men were. It wasn't the same, but the expression in her eye read otherwise. Before she could close the distance between them again, he grabbed her firmly on the upper arms, and held her at an arm length away.

"Dawn," he called to her, "If you had said this to me even two years ago, I would have jumped all over you." She stood back at that comment, knowing there was more to his statement.

"But you can't do this to yourself. It's called imploding. You're making good progress here, following your dreams. You don't need a relationship to complete you."

Dawn rolled her eyes to the back of her head, he still wasn't getting it. "I don't want a relationship, Gary." Dawn announced. "I...don't think I can be as responsible as Misty, or as devoted as May—and I don't really want to be. I just... I just."

The way she looked at him, so torn and raw. Freedom was the word she was looking for. To do as she wanted, to feel what she wanted. To be who she wanted without the repercussions of settling down. Gary's eyebrows knit together.

"Why me?" it sounded like he was whining, but given the current circumstances, she let it slide.

"I don't know." She admit, brushing her hands against his shoulders, and his will to keep her away dissolved instantly. Gary was, after all, still budding with teenage hormones, even if he knew what to do with them. Dawn wasn't exactly running away.

"I just know what I want." She said suddenly, looking up at him again with big eyes that made his heart melt.

He shouldn't have. Gary knew better. This situation was only asking for trouble, and once they started, there was no going back, no band aid, no simple fix. They weren't really acquaintances, but they were barely friends. How did it end up like this? With Dawn draped in his arms, kissing the length of his neck, all the while questioning his moral and ethics.

But...He didn't pull away.

Author's Note:

Uhm.

Uhh.

I've had this written up since 09.21 in complete form, but wasn't sure if I should update it because I was so torn. And, you know what? I liked this chapter enough to say eff it xD.

….WELL, you guys are probably as surprised as I am. I did not expect that to happen. While I was writing, it just sort of...well. o.o;; I'm as surprised as you are. (I guess though, before posting this I went back and looked at their chemistry in Spitfire, as well as the later chapters and it doesn't seem too forced, methinks)

I think I've said this before (I have no idea how many ikarishippers I'm going to make angry with this chapter -dodges bullets-) But Dawn is the only character I can actually see having 'casual sex'. She wanted Paul, liked Paul, but he vehemently rejected her in the last few chapters. (As I've said before, he's also kind of a jerk and needs a stern kicking) Gary's there, sort of the guiding hand, and Dawn's mixed up still, not at her best, but, you know, finding her 'womanhood' or something. (There's also more to the character that I haven't gotten into yet, but I did some foreshadowing the last few Dawn chapters, so I wonder who will catch it?) She's just one of those really strong female characters that I don't think would let herself be defined by a relationship, or held back by one until she found the one that was right for her. If I haven't conveyed this feeling enough (As well as with her confession to Ash in Spitfire) Dawn is the 'alpha' in any relationship she partakes in, whether she realizes it or not. (this is why ikarishipping takes so much build up to make sense. Dawn can never be the lady who sits back and takes Paul's BS, she needs to build herself up.) (You know, since she is always comparing herself with May and Misty, but they are clearly different) I'm not going to say she's promiscuous, but of all the girls, I think Dawn would have the most control over her sexuality. And give out free drinks to whomever.

So, while, a Gary/Dawn situation wasn't even planned and they were going to have a 'friendship' kind of thing, I actually think I like how this will play on as a dynamic in future chapters.

-leaves casually-

(If you haven't caught on, I've set most of the primary characters at different stages of 'growing up'. Ash and Misty are in the long term relationship (You know, that first relationship that takes over your life.) Individually, Ash is the guy that tries to balance everything without sacrificing anything, Misty is the woman who sacrifices everything without balancing anything, May is in the "goal/dream defining" (you know, sort of like that kid that didn't have the money for school, so they worked a part-time job to pass the time, and realized they wanted more) and finally Dawn, is in the "Who am I" category, (that kid that knew what they wanted in life (Have gotten it, or have almost gotten it), but have spent so much time chasing it they forgot to enjoy the little moments and want to change the rules have experiences and find themselves outside of what society has classified as 'normal'.)

Also, I wanted to say THANK YOU to the wonderful reviewers of the last chapter. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. -hearts-

NINT