-CHAPTER SIX-
TESTING PATIENCE
Tuesday 13th October 2009
ANASTASIA
"AND WHY THE FUCK would you need a pregnancy test? You're gay!" Kate spewed her words too fast for me to comprehend.
"What?" shocked with what she said, "For fuck sake. Why do you believe I'm gay? Where do you, or how do I give the impression that I am, because I'm not!" I am fuming at Kate's narrow-minded thoughts. "I tell you what I am. I'm fucking late That's what. I. Fucking. Am. Kate. Five days!" Pointing to the diary as my head shook.
She was silent to an extent, only making some kind of umming sound with a slight pop every time her mouth closed and opened. Was this shock, or complete delirium, I can never tell with Kate. Shit, is she foaming at the mouth? Jesus, it's just residue from her gum.
Focus Ana!
For one, I know I'm in shock, but Kate has been adamant for over the last eighteen months that I was a lesbian. I've denied it every single time, and finally I think she's got the picture.
"I'm never wrong with these things." Shaking her head.
"Well I'm sorry to break it to you, but your once perfect gay-dar is now tarnished," crashing my head into my sweaty hands.
"You hooked up?" her face lit up, "Of course, the friend," she paused then realizing, "The friend was a guy wasn't it? Like the opposite sex kind."
"Kate of course guy, he was! Fucking shit, now I can't even string an English sentence together," taking a breath trying to collect my thoughts, "Seriously put two and two together Kate," I yelled.
"Really two and two together, you would think it was just one and one," wiggling her brows, "did he have a big cock?" she winked.
"I….well," rolling my eyes, honestly this memory was still very blurred but I'm sure he was more than sufficient.
"So he does! Ana! Well Elliot he was like—" She sniggered as I cut her off before I heard the length of Elliot, I didn't need to be reminded.
"What! Ewww, I don't want to know any details involving penises."
"Oh honey, it's not the length you need to worry about, it's the girth," she proudly stated while both her hands gripped around a cucumber.
"What? Where the hell did you get a cucumber Kate? Do you know you are completely nuts?"
"Well you know what I can do with nu—"
"Just stop. I don't want to hear it. All I know is I'm late. What the fuck do I do? I don't want a baby, I'm 19!" crying into my hands.
Kate smiled, flicking her long blonde curls over her shoulder. She grabbed my hand refusing me to loosen the grip.
"Store. Now!" She abruptly said.
Tugging on my hand Kate wouldn't let me free.
"I'm not dressed, I've only got my pajama pants and his sweat…" She yanked me hard, I thought my shoulder might dislocate.
"No time honey. I'm even by passing makeup. We are on a mission and we have a time frame."
…..
WE RAN TO THE STORE, hand in hand. Kate was looking paler than whiteout and I was in my old faithful kitten pajamas. I'm sure people thought we had recently escaped an asylum. Thank God the drug store was only a block away, I felt so ill.
Yeah, because you're pregnant! Why didn't you ask him to wear a condom, or take one or two with you! FUCK!
Sprinting down the toiletries isle Kate hooked a store basket over her forearm. Eventually we found the pregnancy tests, I grabbed the first one I saw. A single test, First Response. Reading the back of the box trying to understand what the hell I'll need to do, out of nowhere Kate dramatically propelled the box out of my hand.
What the fuck?
"Ana, no, no, no," I didn't understand, it was a pregnancy test, what's wrong? It's a fucking pregnancy test!
Seconds later, Kate's hand brushed off around ten different boxes from the shelf.
"What the fuck Kate? I only need one."
"No fucking way. These things can be faulty, you need to be sure."
"I'm not buying all of these," looking inside the cart, "you're ridiculous. You're totally insane."
"I'll buy them, I don't care." Kate was possessed. She was on a mission to make sure I wasn't pregnant.
Thank God Kate walked rather than running to the cashier. I still had that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, it was almost like a crampy like pain.
Yeah, your impending doom. Two blue lines.
"For better or worse.
Til death do us part.
I'll love you with every single beat of my heart."
Could Kate's ringtone for Elliot be any cheesier.
"Sorry Ana, I need to get this."
"Go ahead," I brushed her off and as if I care.
Oh but you do! It could have been you. In a "relationship" if you didn't leave C!
Ever since that elusive evening, Kate and Elliot have stayed in contact. I think if Elliot didn't need to go back to Seattle I'm sure they would still be infecting the apartment. Elliot stayed a few days but needed to go, something about helping his brother move and he was starting work as a junior engineer at a construction firm.
How I know they have kept in contact other than just hearing Kate's phone ring through thin walls. Very thin walls especially between the hours of one and three in the morning.
Note to self: time to purchase noise-cancelling headphones.
Kate answered the cell with the largest grin, "Hey babe, what's up?"
"Aww, I love you too," Kate blushed, well I never thought I would see the day.
Brought out of my daze, the short overweight cashier spoke over the speaker, "Could I get a price check on First Response, and Clearblue pregnancy tests," her voice was deep, quite monotone as if there was no life within her soul.
Oh the embarrassment!
The cashier continued to pop her gum and stare at us both.
What? I know I'm in my pajamas and Kate hasn't painted her face. We can't look that bad. Can we?
"Where am I? Oh… You heard that," Kate shrugged at me as she continued to speak to Elliot.
"No, no, no… God no they aren't for me. Nope, Anastasia."
Ah, thank you Kate for raising your voice so not only Elliot could hear but everyone around the front of the store.
Kate looked me up and down, "She looks a bit pale and flat. I don't know?"
"Oh ok, umm hi!" Kate seemed a little confused.
"Why did you call babe?" she listened with great concentration.
"Oh really, you want me to come," Kate's smile began to grow.
"When is it?"
Kate started to jump up and down. She only does this if clothing, extremely fancy shoes or lots of sex are involved. Maybe it was her trifecta?
"Really, you want me to come. Bring Banana? With your brother, oh I don't know, she doesn't really…. Oh don't worry I'll come, I'll talk to her."
Now what is the idiot planning? Please Kate don't push me into anything.
"Oh, I get to meet your family too," Kate stopped abruptly. Her bubbly self disappeared.
"Ok. Well I need to go, sort out my girl." Kate looked vacant, oh dear what's wrong now?
"Yeah laters, yeah… love you too," she ended with her head lowered.
…..
WALKING BACK TO THE APARTMENT was somewhat different. Our hands were apart and Kate was silent. This was some what out of character for Kate, where has my charismatic bestie?
"OK, what's wrong? I'm the only one that's allowed to be depressed and mopey with my impending fate," I said trying to break the ice while holding the two overflowing bags of pregnancy tests up at my face.
"Well it's… you know," she started to scuff her runners alone the sidewalk.
"I don't. What is it?" I blurted to her.
"Elliot wants me to attend the 'Coping Together Ball" in Seattle. Actually, my parents have attended for a few years now, I've always wanted to go," still a flat line Kate.
"Well that's good isn't it, like fate?"
"Yes, … um no. But I never realized his parents actually ran the show! Oh Fuck," it was like Kate was having an internal battle and just like that she changed the topic of conversation, "Elliot wants you to come too. His brother has been a little depressed ever since moving back to Seattle… soooo he doesn't have a dat—" I stopped her.
"No way! I don't care if I'm pregnant or not. There is no way I'm going on a blind date. Or any date. That's final!"
"Apparently he hasn't been able to get over something which happened here or some shit. Ell wants to cheer him up."
"And that can only happen by me dating him? You're kidding right, if he's anything like Elliot," shaking my head, "no fucking way! I'm sure he can find a list of women in Seattle," I could feel the anger beginning to ooze from my pores. I couldn't think of anything worse.
"It's happening over the Thanksgiving break, you can come with me. You know: go to the Ball, maybe spend time with Ray. Hey, you could hang out with my brother Ethan."
"No. You're not setting me up with Ethan either. I'm not going to this Together Coping thingy or whatever it's called."
The idea of catching up with Ray sounds really good, I do miss him. Being Thanksgiving it will be perfect. Oh Daddy!
"So really what's the issue Kate? You're so mercurial I can't keep up. Are you sure you're not pregnant? Your mood swings are giving me whiplash, I need a fucking neck brace," Kate looked at me like she was counting backwards, her eyes were looking towards the sky and she was turning a slight gray color.
Shaking off whatever caused her grey complexion, "Oh God, you literally scared me for a second,"she held her chest breathing heavy, "I'm on the shot and Elliot used condoms. I'm good."
"Well what's the problem about next month? What's the worry, you get to dress up, hang with Elliot, and have awesome sex. Honestly for your standards I don't see what's the issue?"
She just blurted, "He wants me to stay with his parents, you know, meet the parents."
"Well it kind of will be unavoidable since they run the event," I couldn't help but giggle at her own expense.
"But, doesn't that mean we are serious?"
"Isn't that a good thing? You two have only known each other for a matter of three weeks and end your conversations with I love you."
"Maybe we are moving too fast."
"And you're talking with the chick with two bags of pregnancy tests."
"Oh gawd why does life have to be so complicated," Kate dramatically put a hand to her forehead.
"Yeah well look at me, my fate is awaiting me…" I shake my two bags again, wanting to get this over and done with.
…..
IN THE BATHROOM, I laid out the twelve tests.
Whoa that's a lot of tests.
"Come on just pee Ana."
"Get the fuck out Kate, I'm doing this solo," I'm in shock to why Kate would want to help me pee in my plastic Star Wars cup.
"I need to make sure you do it right. Apparently, you don't know how to use a condom, so you need assistance."
"Are you serious? What are you going to part my flaps for me? Get. The. Fuck. Out. NOW!" Looking at a hurt Kate, I couldn't believe how aggressive and out of line I was.
What is wrong with me! First I couldn't communicate English to a native and now turning into a vulgar mess.
"I'm sorry Kate, please go!" She had a little grin and walked out of the bathroom.
Squatting over the toilet bowl, in some odd kind of yoga pose, I held my little cup.
I'm sorry Star Wars, I'm about to piss all over you.
"Crap!" I whispered
THUMP THUMP THUMP
The white bathroom door wobbled, knowing she has her ears glued to the wood.
"Go away Kate. You're making me nervous and I can't pee!" I bellowed at the door.
"Turn the faucet on, my mom always did that when I was little when I couldn't pee,"
Rolling my eyes, I stood up with my pants around my ankles. Taking my time ensuring I don't trip, I twisted it on.
Well it worked.
Looking at the line of tests, I made sure I read all the instructions for each one since each test is slightly different. Some need to be dipped for three seconds, others five and some fifteen, and the results ranged from three minutes to ten minutes.
Laying them in order, I waited breathing slowly knowing either result will affect the rest of my life. Negative would be simple. I will need to protect myself; a box of condoms should suffice. Maybe I should get tested for STIs or HIV, or possibly a full sex health check? Oh hang on wasn't C a virgin? Oh God!
26th September 2009
"Oh, Stop it you," I slapped his arm. "It's not you, it's me," I tried to stifle my giggle, but it was impossible.
Damn you Vodka.
"You're leaving?" C whispered.
"Oh shut up C. I'm trying to tell you…"
I started getting up out of bed, looking for my clothes which were thrown throughout his room.
"Don't put your clothes on…please don't," He shook his head back and forth.
"I'm a virgin."
These three words just fell out of my mouth as I held my breath. His expression changed from lost to humor and ended laughing at me. Being laughed at hurts and the tears rolled.
He grabbed me and held my fragile body tight, without knowing how it happened, I was straddling his lap. My tears couldn't stop, but with grace his fingers caught every single one.
"I'm sorry, what are the odds?" he whispered so softly into my ear.
I couldn't function: speak, move, even breathe, and staring was my go to safety stance.
"I am too. I thought it was blatantly obvious," he started to smile.
"Haven't you noticed I've been nervous all night?" C tilted his head and winked.
…..
HOLDING MY HANDS OVER MY FACE, 'we were virgins,' I whispered.
Where are you C?
Thinking back to the tests in front of me, I began to plan, because if it is a positive, there is still the possibly I can complete college. I really want to study medicine, maybe part time. I can still reach my goals, right?
Why were we so stupid!
"Oh my God, what have I done!" I cried into my hands.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
The bathroom door vibrated again, "Go away Kate."
"No let me in Ana. What does it say?"
Slowly opening the door, the burden still weighed on my shoulders, "I'm still waiting Kate, but some results should be showing soon."
Kate walked over to the bench, squatting as her eyes were peaking over the edge. Her level of concentration was unfathomable; I've only seen her concentrate on these levels once before, trying to cook bacon and eggs for my birthday. Thank God with pregnancy tests, no fire extinguishers will be necessary.
"Look Ana, this one has a smiley face," pointing to test number four.
Covering my eyes, I couldn't believe my fate, "Oh my God, I'm pregnant."
A/N:
SONG MENTIONED:
1. I Swear - All-4-One. It can be found here on youtube /watch?v=K7QwCrlM7RE.
Sorry for the delay, Freed premier took over my life, and then simultaneously my son fell ill. Again thank you for reading the new reworked/beta-ed "Misplaced & Found." If you haven't already done so, please favourite, follow, review and PM me regarding any M&F questions or concerns. See you soon for chapter 07.
missmusicteach
