Garon couldn't believe what he let himself do. He had to assure Chrom that they were meant to be. He knew that where there were fishsticks, there would be Chrom, so he set off on an adventure to find a land shark to use as a bloodhound. Of course, the best place to find a land shark was Atlanta, which is the land version of Atlantis. As he wandered past casinos, restaurants, and more casinos, he came across a beautiful silver-haired maiden. It was Nyaruko-slam! She invited Garon to come on and slam, if he wants to jam. So they wandered into a casino. Of course, if one wants to find a land shark in a casino, all they have to do is order fish sticks from the bar.
So once Garon had danced to "Hoops! Nyaruko-slam W" on the dance floor for an hour or two, he went and ordered a plate of fish sticks. As soon as he sat down, a penniless land shark teleported into the seat across from him. "That's some nice fish you got there," he said.
Garon replied, "It'd be a shame if something were to happen to it..." as he put one in his mouth. The land shark visibly winced each time he picked up another fish stick. Garon offered him a proposal. "If you can lead me to Chrom by the smell of fish sticks, I'll use my vast powers as the antagonist to buy you a supply of fish sticks for a year." The land shark didn't ask questions. He didn't have to. And so a deal was made. The two left the casino, pursuing the smell of distant fish sticks.
Nyaruko-slam followed them. "Subject 2 has left the vicinity. I repeat, Subject 2 has left the vicinity," she reported in a low voice through her earpiece. The earpiece was silent a moment, then shrieked with feedback and spontaneously combusted. Nyaruko did a tribal slam dance to recover hp, then continued to follow Garon and the land shark. Garon was reaching sanchi pichi. He couldn't take being separated from Chrom any longer.
Meanwhile Chrom was rallying his shepherds for a massacre of an entire nation when Azura told him she didn't know what nation to massacre and that Chrom had to choose between his home country of Ylisse, or Hoshido, which would be easy to slaughter. "Hoshido! That Hoshidan Takumi took my beloved Garon from me! They must pay!"
His Shepherds, being smarter than the average bear, knew they were going to need some heavier weaponry. So they went to the dollar store and bought themselves a proper arsenal of AK-47s, RPG-29 Vampirs, and a handful of T-90s. It was a Russian dollar store. So it was a ruble store.
Anyway, they proceeded to sack Hoshido.
All of it.
Far away, Garon's massacre senses were tingling. He followed his gut and was led straight to Chrom. Garon then fried the land shark into a fish stick.
Garon enjoyed the show. "This is much better than the movie we went to, Chrom." Chrom gave him a winning smile as he offered him an ice-cold Dr. Pepper. And so Chromaron flew off into the sunset on the magical mystical fairies.
And RNGesus decided that fricking with Takumi was better than fricking with Chrom. So Chrom got +5% luck stat, and Takumi was miserable with his measly 45% Luck growth. #FrickWithTakumi2k15.
While Chromaron flew away, they thought of the everlasting question that had been plaguing humanity for centuries: Why does Garfield hate Mondays? They focused on their love to try to avoid this puzzling question. Little did they know that it would tear them apart.
