Chapter 6

It was time for Chrom to marry Garon. However, it was Chapter 11 (no shut up Jeremy it definitely doesn't say chapter 6 right there), so Chrom was forced to marry Sumia instead. Garon was devastated, but hell hath no fury like a lover scorned. He decided to break into Ylisstol.

Inside, Garon ran into Nyaruko-slam again, who had just assassinated Emmeryn. She had also replaced her earpiece, but it wasn't working because the guards managed to activate a CQC jammer canceller breaker eraser confiner obstructor buster closer and also their power level was really high so things just broke. So she had reverted to her Michael Jordan persona, and was currently spinning a basketball on her finger. Garon thought the basketball was his ex, the Annoying Orange, and promptly began to argue with it. Nyaruko-slam took this as a hoops challenge, and shot the Annoying Basketball into the nearest medium-size hole, which just happened to be the exhaust port for Ylisstol's central reactor. The entire city exploded in a gigantic supernova, which Garon and Nyaruko-slam miraculously survived, because sci-fi bullshit.

Since Emmeryn died, the game reset to a save state in an alternate timeline, leaving Chrom and Garon free to break, like, all the rules. Chrom pulled a Henry VIII and broke from the Church, forming his own religion where the god is fish sticks and divorce is legal. (There was no need to change any laws regarding Chromaron.) Chrom conveniently got rid of Sumia by sticking her with Takumi. For his part, Takumi was alright with it, because his date up to this point had been the Annoying Orange.

Anyway, Garon and Chrom decided to meet back up amidst the ruins of Hoshido, which reminded them both of good times as kid. As they wandered through the ruins, stepping over rubble, blackened and mangled corpses, and discarded Russian firearms, Chrom and Garon had a heart-to-black heart chat.

Just then, a familiar figure appeared. It was generic guard #175937! He pointed a silver blade at Garon's throat. Their eyes locked. After what seemed like ages, Garon said "Go on! End a pitiful old man's life!" Generic guard #175937's blade quivered, then was lowered. He removed his helmet...it was actually Lucina! She knew Garon was meant for Chrom, but she had always been one to challenge fate. "I love you, Garon."

Chrom couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not satisfied with taking his spot in Sm4sh, she was going to take his bae as well! "LUCINA!" Chrom shouted in anger. "You are a terrible son!"
Awkward silence.

"What?"

Awkward silence.
"Oh! ...daughter. Sorry. Just, you know.." Chrom made a vague motion.
"You know how much I love you, Xxx_Gar0n_xxX? I love you as much as 100% pulp free orange juice, not to be confused with the hit game 100% Orange Juice" Lucina continued.

Chrom's eyes widened. Lucina sounded serious. He knew he had to do something, so he tapped his earpiece to turn it on and pulled Nyaruko-slam out of his pocket. "Prepare plan Delta Mu 642-83 over 0, urgently," Chrom hissed into the earpiece. Fortunately for Chromaron, RNGesus was busy giving Takumi shit on his honeymoon with Sumia-and I mean literally giving him shit: cow pies were falling from the sky-so neither Chrom's nor Nyaruko's earpiece spontaneously combusted. Nyaruko-slam summoned her ancient powers of H.P. Lovecraft and completed the ritual.

The ground trembled, and suddenly Lucina's legs began to shake uncontrollably. The shaking progressed up her body, intensifying as it went. As Lucina's whole body began to convulse, her head flew back, her eyes rolled up into her head, and her mouth opened, emitting a cloud of dark gas that could only be described as dank. And then, Lucina bellowed, "100%? SIKE! THAT'S THE WROOOOOOOOOOOONG NUMBA!" and the air exploded with the sounds of people shouting "OOOOOOHHHH!" and the wail of rapid-fire air horns.

Far away, Takumi could sense something MLG occurring. This sent him into shock. he returned to Hoshido to raise an army but when he arrived he found his country in ruins. Infuriated, he set after Chrom, thinking of a minimum of 9001 memes to use.

Chrom's meme sense was tingling. He shouted, "It's a trap!" At that, Takumi meme'd, saying

"Deez nutz xd"

Chrom couldn't handle the meme's dankness. It was driving him insane. Luckily, Sumia appeared, and she bitch slapped Takumi in the name of freedom, that cock-sucking hypocrite punk-ass bitch (of course, this describes Takumi). Now judge that, you frick life! That's right!

Oh yeah on to part two.

Editor's note: I have no idea how to edit this I thought this was about Smash Bros