-CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN-
PRACTICALLY FAMILY
Monday 30th November 2009, continued…
ANASTASIA
FLIPPING THE PAGE, back and front, I stared at the black ink. Shit, the pages never end. Eyes wide, I see, hear that damn ticking clock. Piling all the pages together, the cover page… '101 to life,' I flipped the pages again. Oh my God, I don't know these answers, let alone the concept of the questions.
I didn't study for this. How could I have missed all this content? I make immaculate notes, color coded and all. Why do I have no recollection of this subject?
The soles of hard shoes echoed on the linoleum floor, as lecturers marched down the aisles of tables… empty tables… I was the only one in the exam.
What the fuck?
Is everyone finished? Shit, why am I finding this so difficult?
"I'm sorry, Sir," waving my arm high, because I needed to get out of here, "I think I'm in the wrong final?"
I looked at the figure, but never seeing their face, "Sir… I'm sorry, ma'am?" I have no idea if they are male or female, what the hell?
Continuing to inspect at the exam paper, apparently this will be my death sentence because I can't fathom these torturous questions…
What are you pretending not to know?
List your values and explain how you are denying them?
Perception is reality, for better or worse. What are you not aware of?
Was today a day worth having remembered? Explain the lessons you learned in love and appreciation.
Where is your life heading in five years, no several months? Grasping all matter is critical, explain your life in emojis…
Fucking emoji's? What is this shit? But deep down, I should have known, I was far from being prepared, which entails affecting my GPA… and when I can graduate.
I tap my pencil on the desk, almost at a climactic drum roll.
The footsteps seemed heavier, the closer they came. I can't turn as my eyes are stuck on these questions. I have this sick feeling. Oh my God I need to go, I need to leave. NOW!
"Sir, sir, sir," no one is listening to my pleads.
Help is at a zero. I bolt from my desk, my chair crashing back and I run.
I run to a tunnel I have no memory of. It's damp, the moldy stench is weighing down my stomach, but I can see the light, they are following me… he is following me.
Panting shallow breaths, I wake.
"Shit!"
Still, and stiff, my eyes gaze to the ceiling of the unfamiliar room.
"What?" I ache, "Where am I?" I turned to see a digital clock, lit in red. "5:12pm".
It's creeping towards evening, I see Christian asleep, entwined with my body.
"5:12pm! My appointment!" I shrieked.
Jesus, I missed it, I need to get to the hospital, I need to explain my tardiness. Shit, will they even give me a chance.
Tugging on Christian's arm I call, "C… C!"
I was trying to be subtle, but it's obvious he's in a deep sleep as his eyes lull under his lids.
"Christian!" I yelled, shaking him.
"I'm awake! What, what?" he jumped up so quickly I could see his chest panting. His hands curled rubbing the sleep from his eyes like a child, blinking quickly trying to wake.
"It's five!" without warning, the tears fell. I wasn't prepared enough, I shouldn't have let him drive me, we were getting sidetracked. "Oh my God, I've missed my interview." dropping my face into my hands.
"Sorry? What?"
He was still asleep as he scratched his groin… It was natural instincts and my eyes darted directly to his now very hard cock, eagerly wanting to pounce from his boxers.
Focus, Ana!
The sweat dropped down my chest as I stared at the clock for the umpteenth time. This needs to be a mistake. I almost stumble to the floor as I look for my bag. Oh my God, my bag.
"Christian, I need my bag…" I start to breathe heavy. I was feeling dizzy, and spots were forming over my eyes. I need my bag, it has my phone, my wallet, my… letters. "I-I-I, I…"
He cupped my cheeks, smoothing the tears away with his thumb, "Ana. Ana, breathe bef—"
Suddenly the room turned a hazy grey until I could see nothing at all but black.
…..
"SWEETHEART, CAN YOU TAKE some slow breaths," I nodded to the woman's voice as my sight was still shrouded in darkness.
Unsure of what was happening, I didn't want to open my eyes. The thought of failure before I even have started flashed before my eyes.
"Now, in honey," I sucked in my breath slowly as the voice I now recognized as Grace's, calmed my scurrying thoughts. Serenely, her voice counted to four, "Good girl. And out, nice and easy, not too fast," she repeated, starting from one counting to four once again.
This pattern reiterated until I could recognize the space around me rather than my beating chest. It quickly dissipated, as I pulled back flinching at the pacing footsteps on the floor.
"Ana, remember breathing. I don't want to you faint again. Christian…" Grace called to her son, unsure exactly where he was.
I opened my eyes slowly, the light was dim. A burnt orange, and he was pacing back and forth. His foot steps.
It's ok, take it easy, Ana.
Grace stroked my bangs, and eyeing in Christian's direction, "He said you had some kind of panic attack, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has a stroke in the meantime," she thumbed behind her shoulder, rolling her eyes, "Look at my poor boy, he's wearing an eight feet line into the floor."
"Mom," Christian whined to his mother just like a child, not the man I've seen over the last few days.
"I'm ok, I'm fine," I announced, unsure if I was trying to convince Grace or myself. With little success, I tried to push myself up, "I need to get to the hospital, now!" But instantly I lumped back onto the bed.
Grace pulled back surprised by my forceful words. "Are you unwell, what's the matter, from a physician perspective you are fine."
"My meeting," I sat up slowly, raising my knees, and my face grimacing in my hands.
Gutted, I couldn't even do this simple thing right. Everything is falling apart since I've been here in Seattle.
The bed dipped and Christian sat next to me and Grace, rested her palm on my shoulder. "Ana, I'm aware what occurred this afternoon at UWM. You were to have a meeting within my department. If you wish, you can come with me in the morning to the hospital."
I sighed, "I'm leaving for the airport, I need to get back to Boston. I have class the next day."
I could feel the tears building, as I looked at Christian. His hand had soothed my back making small circles, and making them into little hearts, "You soppy romantic," I whispered to him and he winked as I leaned into his chest.
"Ok Ana, let's work around this. I would prefer you to rest, but how about some dinner and we can drop by the hospital to complete some forms, and meet some of the staff."
"You would do that for me?" shocked by her offer.
"Of course, we're practically family." I squirmed on the bed by her words.
Practically family?
"S.O.… Ana," his lips breathed into my ear.
Practically family!
"Yes, ok, well, we better have some dinner," I stood up a little too quick, feeling like horizontal was the only position my body seemed to be accustomed to. Flat on my ass.
"Ok, easy there, Anastasia." Grace chuckled.
"Thank you, how will I ever repay your courtesy, humility?"
"Family Ana." she smiled, patting my hand.
Practically family.
Oh my God, I was in deep.
…..
WE ATE A WONDERFUL dinner. A selection of cold meats, pickled vegetables including preserved tomatoes, olives and the most important food group of all, cheese.
"I think you've got a little," Christian rubbed his thumb over my chin, sucking it quickly, "my favorite gouda."
"What hope do these two have," I rubbed my belly, smiling, "they will be cheese fiends."
"Or lactose intolerant." he countered, his grin as large as my own.
We both laughed and maybe… just maybe everything was going to be ok. I was still far from understanding what is ahead for us both, but we are shaping, molding together as something. I was hoping something good. Before I knew it, my cheeks were damp and without a thought Christian ran his thumb under my tired eyes.
"It's been a big day."
I nodded, "Or some," I choked out a laugh.
Christian smiled and gathered me up, tucking me against his chest and held me close.
When we finally broke apart, Grace sat back and continued watching us both, with glassy eyes. I couldn't help but scrunch up my nose, shaking my head. God this is embarrassing.
Trying to break the awkwardness on my part, I asked Christian, "Where's your father?" he turned to his mother, and his mouth formed a straight line.
"Oh, he sends his apologies, Ana, working." Grace stood, pushing her chair, collecting the dishes. "It's starting to get late, I don't want to keep you up, so we better head over to the hospital in the next thirty minutes."
"Sure," I answered, turning to Christian, waiting to speak again until Grace had left the room, "What's going on?" I whispered.
"Dad's been working late… a lot lately… it's a little out of character." he pulled me close, kissing the top of my head.
"Jesus." I shuddered, knowing what was coming next, "I've seen movies, that's code for fucking the secretary, isn't it?"
"Ana, Jesus, not so loud." he hissed, gritting his teeth.
I pulled back staring at this frightened man, "So, I'm right?"
"We're not sure."
And quick enough he pulled me back to his chest, rubbing my back but obviously his eyes we off elsewhere.
"We?" I questioned.
"Yeah, Mom and I."
"You two are close, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he nodded as a huge grin grew over his face, I could see the pink growing over his cheeks. This man was a softy at heart, and loved his momma.
I couldn't help but think if I would have had something on the same level if my mother was alive.
…..
"ANA, FIVE MINUTES. So, how exactly are we arranging this?" Grace bellowed from the kitchen.
Both Christian and I haven't even left the dining table, bodies still held close. Honestly, I didn't even want to move.
Our mouths moved at a minimum, but our eyes spoke a thousand words within our silence. Christian constantly had his stare on me, his eyes chained, my very soul, and if he blinked I may disappear forever. So I made sure I didn't blink.
Practically family.
You love me Christian Grey, and what are we going to do about it?
"Christian. Anastasia," Grace snapped her fingers and we instantly pulled our hands apart.
The connection was still there, but why are we so nervous to show any form of affection in front of Christian's mother? This is utter ridiculousness. For one, we are adults, and are obviously not having sex on the family dining table, we were holding hands. Of course my giggle didn't help the situation.
"Sorry… did you mention something?" my voice broke in several places, trying to speak.
"Transport," she placed a hand on her hip as her golden bangles jangled over her wrist, "Are we taking my car, or is Christian driving you to the hospital?"
Christian looked at me worriedly, "Ok Ana. Hear me out, I don't want to sound like an asshole—"
"Christian, language!" Grace curtly answered.
His eyes bulged, mouthing 'sorry' to his mother.
"Pain," he strained the word, but I knew exactly what he meant, giggling slightly, "I don't want to sound like a pain, but this is a prime example where your drivers license would have come in handy."
Gaping with a wide mouth, I was shocked, I thought the car, driving, and license fiasco was done. Over.
"Are you implying if I did have it, you wouldn't have driven me?"
"Well…" hooking his brow, he scoffed.
"And you would have allowed me to drive your… beast?" I rolled my eyes at the words.
Rubbing the back of his neck, "not exactly. Damn it Ana, you're twisting my words."
I smiled at my small victory, fist pumping the air.
"Oh look at you two, a married couple already," Grace's cheeks glowed.
Both Christian and I laughed, knowing it was way too soon, but he stopped a little too sudden for my liking.
"No ideas, Mister," I pointed at him.
Practically family.
"Well it's settled, we will both drive." she dropped the wet dish cloth on the table, "I'll just get my keys, meet you both at my office. Ana, we have a lot to discuss," she held her gaze for a little longer than I expected, and suddenly she was gone.
Ninja Grace was back.
…..
CHRISTIAN AND I entered the six figured vehicle. I saw my bag, and quickly hugged it, then burrowing inside, checking my cell. Missed calls which I assumed are from the hospital.
"Christian, you do realize I could have called a cab." I giggled wanting to push the issue further.
"Can you afford it?" I turned to him, shocked.
"So, what now you're saying I'm destitute?"
"No of course not!" he hit the steering wheel making me flinch.
"Just drive, Christian. Drive, " I weakly repeat.
Sinking into the chair, I can't believe how on edge we really are.
…..
SITTING IN GRACE'S OB office, an antiseptic scent lingering in my nose, waiting for my stomach to churn but with a few deep breaths in and out, it settled. Possibly it may have been a combination of nerves and morning sickness.
She slowly closed the door, and a chill flooded through me, "thannk-yyou for this opportunity." Being nervous was an understatement, yet I had been sleeping under her roof and had dinner with her.
"Ana," she cupped her hands on the desk, "the pleasure is all mine. Let's stop with the formalities." which we both nodded in agreement.
"We want you here over the holiday period, but I'm concerned you will be working a little too hard. You have his nature about you, Ana. There is absolutely no rush, you have your whole life ahead of you." she turned to her laptop, checking things, and making a few notes on a scrap piece of paper. "Sweet heart, pregnancy for anyone can be draining, but multiples do come with risks."
At this point I was glad I demanded Christian to wait outside her office. But hearing those words hit hard. Am I working too hard? Are my expectations too high?
"I'm trying to gain my experience, Grace, I truly do believe medicine is my calling."
"Obstetrics?" she questioned.
"Honestly, it wasn't my first choice, the only reason it was my choice, this department was the only one which answered my emails."
"I see." Grace held her lips tight, and a small strain marked her forehead.
Shit, this isn't good.
"But I think this pregnancy may open my eyes, Grace. I've never been around babies, or even pregnant women, so everything is a new experience. I'm a walking experience," I laughed, but Grace didn't join me.
"Work experience is easy to gain, but this pregnancy is more than that. Honey, you do realize that these babies aren't going anywhere." her index finger pointed towards my flat belly, "You will be… You are a mother now."
I could only smile, sometimes I think it's settled in I was pregnant, but the whole mother thing, I don't know. I had a loving mother, she was my world, she was my savior. But…
"Honey, are you alright, I lost you for a moment there."
"Sorry, what?" I was still thinking about Mom, how she's going to miss all this.
"Let's visit the department, it's late, so we need to be quiet but I'm sure without a doubt it's lively in there," she chuckled, with a hand on her chest. "Oh those little babes, they melt my heart every time."
Walking out of her office made me think I was visiting her for the babies, and Christian in the waiting room reading some God awful magazine too many years old. He closed the magazine and hooked me around his waist.
It was surreal walking through the department. Seeing varying stages, early labor, oh and hearing later stages of labor.
"As you can hear, I think a little one will enter the world soon," she whispered at the door over the screaming.
The sounds of the woman and her partner were scaring me and it was something I do not want to experience, don't women use pain relief?
We continued towards the nurse station, where I met several staff, surprisingly there was a male midwife.
"Ana, here is our favorite midwife of all," Grace held out her palms towards the man.
"Oh, Doc Grace, mid-husband please." The gentleman, tall with dark brown hair slicked back, voice deep and quite mature, he must be close to 40 with creases around his eyes, " Don't let the pink scrubs fool you, the name's Jack,"
"And we have had an influx of newborn boys with the name Jack too." Grace chuckled and blushed.
"Well it's a great name, Grace," he bumped shoulders with her.
Both Christian and I looked at one another, knowing this was a little strange. I don't know Grace very well, but Christian is her son, it's obvious something isn't adding up correctly here.
With his hand held out, I shook it with a little hesitation. It was firm, and that smile was calming.
"Christian Grey," he held out his own, I could see he was shaking.
"Thanks man," he hesitated, but shook his hand, not as firm as my own, and with relief over Christian's face, he quickly snatched his hand back into his pocket, "I've seen you around before, when you were younger. You don't visit your mom on the ward very often."
"No, I attended college over east, but I'm back in Seattle."
"Is this your girl?"
I huffed, "And… This girl is standing next to both of you fine gentleman."
"Sorry Ana." Jack blushed turning a shade of pink to match his scrubs.
"Ana, a word," Grace said, breaking the tension.
"Sure," I whispered.
"In my office." I couldn't help but close my eyes.
…..
WE WERE BACK in her smelly office, but this time she sat on a leather couch, and quickly patted it, "Here Ana," I quickly followed suit and sat, "This is the next stage of your life."
"Yeah, post grad." I puff air to move my bangs from my eyes.
I sunk into the nice couch, but unfortunately my pants were tight, and felt uncomfortable enough to unbutton them and dangle my loose blouse over the top.
"Ana," she shook her head.
"Crap" I bit my lip, not sure if I want to hear the rest of the conversation.
"This next stage will demand a different version of you. I'm not trying to invade your privacy, but I'm assuming these children you are carrying are my son's. My grandchildren," she sighed.
I nodded, unable to speak. I felt she wanted to lay it all out. I guess momma bear protecting her cub, but me, I was the juicy meal not having a chance. Surprisingly, I was mistaken.
"Oh Lord. I am going to be a grandmother," she engulfed my small frame into a tight hug, "Ana, Christian is very dear and special to me, it's only in these last few weeks I knew he had met someone special, but you disappeared on him."
"Oh yeah, about that," I blurted out, "I can explain, it was a misunders—"
"Ana, I don't need the details, Christian has told them all to me. You need to understand it is difficult for Christian to open up at times, he gets a little…"
"Angry." I blurted out, and instantly regretted covering my mouth.
She laughed, "I would rather put it, frustrated." we nod in unison. "Ana, if you don't want to be in a relationship with my son, please do it for the right reasons."
Not be in a relationship with Christian? I was overwhelmed by her words.
"Is this over money?" I gasped, "Because I've never had money and I don't want yours or Christian's. I realize this isn't planned and…" I began to pant, unable to catch my breath.
"Ana, breathe… slow down your breathing. It's nothing to do with money, it's both yours my son's decisions. I don't play a part in this. You are both adults and both facing extreme changes, please work together for the better."
We went into another embrace, I could feel my face wet with silent tears.
"Oh, I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to get all deep and heavy on you." she quoted. "That's what kids say these days, isn't it?"
"Oh Grace, you are just perfect." I smiled and wish my Mom could be here with me too.
"Now, have you thought about your prenatal care back in Boston?"
I closed my eyes, "It has only been a few days, Grace, I haven't had time because of—"
"So, I take it as a no."
Popping my eyes open, I sunk into the chair shaking my head, as I felt like I was being chastised by the principal or chancellor.
Collecting the paper from earlier, she continued to scrawl a few more things.
"Here are two colleagues I trust," I admired the stationary engraved with Dr. G Trevelyan-Grey OBGYN MD, this could be me in what, oh God who knows now with twins on the way, "Do you have health insurance?"
I cringed, sinking that little further. This was something I didn't have. I wasn't employed and Daddy couldn't keep me on his policy because I was over 18 and no longer living with him.
"I'll ensure you get some. Please contact either OBGYN, make an appointment within the next two weeks for your 13 week scan." Grace's finger tapped the paper.
I nod, studying the two names in front of me. Her handwriting was no scribble or scratch, it was a delicate cursive, something like my own mother's. I held in a small gasp, covering my mouth. I missed her.
"Ana, it's ok," she rubbed my back, "I realize this is all overwhelming, but we are here for support, remember, family." and her smile won me over.
"Come on, let's get my son, he's probably jealous because I've had you hijacked in my office." we both chuckled together.
Making our way back to the men, Christian and Jack seemed a little more friendly, and said good bye with a strange fist pump.
"So, want another free ride with me?" he winked and I giggled. Soon enough my teeth assaulted my bottom lip.
A/N:
Thank you for reading the new reworked/beta-ed "Misplaced & Found." If you haven't already done so, please favourite, follow, and review. See you soon for chapter 28.
missmusicteach
