Part Four: Takumi's Royal Shitfest Chapter 1

Takumi couldn't believe the news. Garon had broken up with Chrom!? Now was Takumi's chance. Takumi snuck into the Smash Mansion and up to Garon's new room. He opened the door, and saw Garon combing his luscious beard. Garon's iPod was playing his favorite song, "The Sign" by Ace of Base. Takumi took a deep breath, and walked in. "King Garon of Nohr….I love you." Garon stopped combing his beard and turned around, but left "The Sign" playing. "Eh? Oh, you're not a Smasher. I could never love you." Takumi felt his heart shatter. He ran from the room, crying. He kept running and running.

Eventually, Takumi somehow made his way to Castle Krakenburg. "Ah. Good. A place to rest." However, Takumi failed to realize he was at the Nohrian royal palace.

Takumi made it inside just fine, but it all changed when he reached the hallway leading to the throne room. There, he ran into four figures- legendary troll Mariotehplumber, Princess Elise, Failed Seductress Camilla, and...Nyaruko-slam? And not that poster-no, this was the real deal. Or so Takumi thought. Mariotehplumber was arguing with the princesses. "If you're gonna localize something, localize what appeals to North Americans. Not Japanese weeb shit. Don't make a Direct using Japanese voice acting. Or someone going Oniiiiii-" At that moment, Elise and Camilla turned around, and the Nyaruko-slam poster switched to her Cc Lemonhead persona. The four of them activated the power of Onii-slam Puppet Snake. Takumi couldn't handle this. He passed out.