This is for Round 2 of the QLFC season 5!

I was the Reserve for the Bellycastle Bats Beater 2!

Prompts: Spinner's End as the setting, Letter-fic, and the quote by Nathaniel Branden "Freedom is the most radical Idea of all."

I really enjoyed writing this! Severus is one of my favorite characters and I honestly feel that he doesn't get enough credit or love simply because people refuse to look underneath the underneath.


Lily,

My mother died this year. I didn't get to tell you after… what happened by the Black Lake. Father has taken to the bottle again, and his skills at bruising in areas no one will ever see has improved over the year. He's locked me in the attic again, no dinner for me. I wonder how you would react if I sent this letter to you. You hate me now, so you probably wouldn't even read it. I've also noticed you and Potter getting closer.

Is he no longer a toe-rag?

Of course not, I was the one reason why you two never got along in the first place after all. I hope that you're happy now. Maybe this is for the best anyways; I couldn't always depend on you to protect me over the summers. Although, it does feel weird, not spending time with you at the park or under our tree.

I wonder if your relationship with Tunney is better as well. I bet you two would've gotten along better if it weren't for me that day we first met.

Do you even miss me?

Were we ever really friends?

I wonder sometimes how things would've been if I had been sorted into Ravenclaw instead. Would you have visited me after her funeral? Would you help me bat away the shadows that eat at the edges of my vision or apply bruise paste to my battle wounds?

Battle wounds.

I almost sound like one of those heroes in those books you're always reading. Heh. Severus Snape, the Batman of the wizarding world. I'm the exact opposite of that. My father and you have told me so often enough lately. The coward and weakling. Unable to stand up to my father, unable to stand up to my house, and unable to stand up to my brain.

No wonder we're no longer friends.

Always yours,

Sev


Severus sighed and crumpled the parchment in his hand, tossing it into the corner with the others. The sun would be up soon, and with it his Father. He had to be stronger now. No more emotions, and no more weakness.

Severus had to survive.


Mother,

You don't have to worry about me anymore. Spinner's End is no longer going to be a place of hate and pain. You always told me that one day I would build a better life for myself, a life that would end with my happiness. I've built a life for myself, and I'm happy - in a way.

Father's dead now.

I killed him.

I know you loved him, even when he was beating you or shoving us into the attic to try and "contain the filth". I don't think I ever loved him though. After you left us, he got worse. I don't think that I'll ever be able to forget that man, my mind and my body would always bring up reminders.

Do you remember that book you used to read to me whenever Father was out drinking? The one filled with quotes from people around the world?

"Freedom is the most radical idea of all."

Nathaniel Branden, I believe his name was. Freedom is no longer an idea for me, Mother, it is a reality.

It wasn't a slow death, he felt very little pain. I know that you would've wanted it to be quick. The Dark Lord said that I had to kill one person with my bare hands in order to take his mark, in order to receive his protection.

I used your potions knife.

Do you think that symbolic? Using the weapon that killed you to end his life as well?

The Dark Lord found it amusing, and now I will never fear harm from him again.

No more fists, bottles, or attics. No more night time cuddles to hide from the angry beast.

We can live freely now.

Your Beloved Son,

Severus Tobias Snape


A glass of firewhiskey sat half-empty on the table next to his chair. A pale hand reached out to grasp at the bottle, missing its target and knocking it onto the rug instead. Severus let some curses lose into the empty air, staring at the amber liquid soaking into his socks.


Lily,

I told myself after fifth year that I would never write to you again. Over the past few years I've held true to that vow, but once again, I must break my promise.

You're dead.

Murdered.

Gone.

I always thought that I would be the one to leave this realm before you, and yet once again I find myself left gaping as you race away. Your passing has led my to sit by the fire of Spinner's End, firewhiskey slowly replacing what little water remains in my body.

Did you know that you defeated the Dark Lord? Were you aware that your love and kindness was enough to cause one of the most powerful wizards to fall to his knees?

Dumbledore tells me that your sacrifice was wasted; the Dark Lord will return after he has gathered power. He will go after your son, the boy you died to protect.

I know that you hate me Lily, I think that there was no other way for our lives to turn out. Ourfriendship killed you. My love for you pushed you quickly to the brink of death.

I promise you, on my life, on the grave of my mother, on our tree, that your son will not suffer your fate.

He will hate me from the beginning, and I will stay the evil mastermind in the background - pulling the strings of Fate so that he may live longer than the both of us combined.

You will never get this letter, and the connection between us will never be discovered. Everything I have of you in the material realm is sitting next to me, awaiting its turn to be devoured by flames.

Do you think that the flames could eat away my memories as well?

Goodbye,

Professor Severus Snape


Black clad shoulders hunched over, shaking, in the light of the fireplace.