Chapter 3

Lucina led Takumi outside of the Smash Mansion. "Get in the car."

"Where are we g-"

"Get in the car." Takumi and Lucina climbed into the back seat just as a disembodied female voice declared "THE SHADOW REMAINS CAST" in the distance, and drove all the way around Smashville and back to the Mansion. Lucina yanked Takumi out of the car, pointed the gun to his back, and led him to her room, where she had kept a Nyaruko-slam poster. "Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam!"

Takumi glared at Lucina. "Why did you invite me here, again?"

Lucina shrugged her shoulders. "I think this scene only exists so the author can show just how crazy I've become."

Suddenly, Ness kicked down the door. "PK In the Name of the Moon, I Shall Punish You!" he declared, and threw his PK Moon Tiara. Lucina swiftly dodged, and loaded a pitch black bullet into her gun. She pointed it at Sailor Moon and shot her, sending her into a dark vortex. "I'm removing you from play!" With that, the vortex tore Sailor Moon apart, removing her from play.

Takumi's eyes widened. "Holy shit! What the frick!?"

Lucina pointed her gun at Takumi. "I'm sending you to the Shadow Realm!" There was a flash, but Takumi wasn't enveloped by the dark vortex. Instead, it was right in front of him! Oboro, in all her borderline creepy Takumi obsessiveness, had sacrificed herself for his sake. She turned to him, crying yet also smiling. "Goodbye, my liege…" With that, Oboro vanished. #RIPshouldnthavebeenuselessinrevelation

Before Lucina could fire another Shadow Bullet, Takumi pulled a card out from his hair. "Exodia! Obliterate!" Lucina suddenly vaporized and was no longer in the room. Then, a blonde hottie fell out of the closest. She turned to Takumi. "Uh, hi! I'm pop diva Britney Britney!" Before Britney Britney could continue, though, another blonde girl came out. She pulled out a microphone and shouted into it, "Looooove...In The Crossfire!

Setting my sights

Get you tonight

Love in the crossfire, ready aim fire!

Feeling alright

Squeeze you so tight

Love in the crossfire, ready aim fire!

Victory night

Set my love alight

Love in the crossfire, ready aim fire!"

The sheer beauty of Praline's music brought Lucina back. But then, Praline's fans jumped out of the closet, too, and dog piled Lucina, taking her to the ground. This gave Takumi enough time to escape. Or, it would have, if not for the fact that…

At that moment, Garon walked into the room, Master Hand right behind him. "See!? Non-Smashers!"

Master Hand clenched himself into a fist. "Lucina! You've been harboring non-Smashers!? You're-"

But before Master Hand could fire Lucina, she pointed her gun. "To the Shadow Realm with you!" she screamed, and pulled the trigger. But little did Lucina know that underneath that glove Master Hand wasn't a hand, but he was the Shadow Realm! And you can't send the Shadow Realm to itself.

Before either of them could do more damage, both Robins broke through the ceiling and each pulled out a fish stick. "Chrom!" They both shouted, and Garon's former lover flew through the window, his arm outstretched and holding another fishstick. The three of them unleashed a flurry of attacks on Lucina and Master Hand, sending them into a world of pain. Lucina would've been bouncing off the walls like crazy, had she not been smart enough to tech. Master Hand wasn't as fortunate.

While Master Hand was ricocheting all over the room, everyone else fled. Chrom tried to descend the stairs, but he tripped on a malicious chicken finger and fell. Garon flew down after him, his luscious beard flowing magnificently in the nighttime wind, glistening from the moonlight streaming through the windows. The Robins ELWIND'ed themselves back to MaRobin's room, where he proceeded to tip the scales. He tipped the scales eight whole times.

As Takumi crawled out the door, he heard Lucina shout, "To the Shadow Realm with you!" followed by another female's voice who angrily exclaimed, "four fricking times!" Takumi muttered to himself, "Ha. Not my fault you're weak," in reference to Nyaruko-slam.