So, as a break between acts, in order to give me enough time to write ahead maybe, or at least get some catchup writing done, I decided to do bonus chapters, which are mostly humorous bits of short stories, and behind the scene stuff.

For example; Bloopers.

While the characters may seem like professionally written things, they are actually just humans running around my brain, and they sometimes make mistakes. Which is why we've got this chapter.

And without further ado, on with the show!


The Alchemist Bonus Chapter:

Act 1 Bloopers pt. 1


Prologue

Megatronus: *Elbowing Orion* Get off me!

Orion: OW! *Goes flying back*

Megatronus: Oh my god! I'm sorry!

*The crew begins to laugh*

Megatronus: I have a very powerful elbow! I didn't kill you did I?

Orion: *Wheezing* Nope I'm good. *Deep breath* Ok, lets do that again but maybe hurt me less?


Chapter 1

*Everyone going chaos*

Camera man: Alright, I just need to keep track of the characters, right?

Me: Yes. Just follow them. Everything should be fine.

Camera man: Alright. Rolling.

Me: Action

*Orion get's herded through the crowd to the slave house*

Camera man: *getting lost in the crowd* Wait... Wait!

*Orion soon gets herded far away from the camera man as he begins to drown in the extras*

Camera man: Help me! Director help me!

Me: *backing away slowly* Sorry, camera man, your on your own

Extra: I GOT HIS SCARF!


Chapter 2

Orion: *Pulling on the tiger* Come on! Our brothers are waiting for us!

Orion: *turning towards the director* What kind of trippy-ass dream is this?


Chapter 3

Megatronus: *laughing over the bodies of the dead lions*

Megatronus: *Laughing before starting to cough and stutter*

Me: You alright?

Megatronus: Sorry! I choked on some spit


Chapter 4

Ratchet: I am a member of of the high council, not to mention the head of medical affairs! Anything that involves the health of another citizen on Primas falls under my authority, and I can say whatever the frag I want to whatever the– fucking, barbecue, Buffalo Bill girlfriend's fucker I please!

*Everyone starts to laugh*

Ratchet: Wrong lines?

Alpha Trion: Oh, you where way off.

Ratchet: Fuck

Orion: Language!

Ratchet: Oh, don't pretend to be a saint, I saw you flipping off the camera man yesterday!

Orion: He stole my fucking skittles!

Ratchet: My point exactly.

Orion: What do you mean— *realization* Oh

Me: Arn't you supposed to be playing a pure bean, Orion?

Orion: Fuck off! I still haven't forgiven you for making me short!

Me: *laughing*


Chapter 5

Soundwave: *hands Megatronus the earplugs*

Megatronus: *puts them in*

*Gladiator bell goes off*

Soundwave: *singing* I never thought hyenas essential! / They're crude and unspeakably plain / But maybe they've a glimmer of potential / If allied to my vision and brain / I know that your powers of retention / Are as wet as a warthog's backside / But thick as you are, pay attention / My words are a matter of pride / It's clear from your vacant expressions / The lights are not all on upstairs / But we're talking kings and successions / even you can't be caught unaware! / So prepare for the chance of a lifetime / Be prepared for sensational news / A shining new era / Is tiptoeing nearer / And where do we feature? / Just listen to teacher / I know it sounds sordid / But you'll be rewarded / When at last I am given my dues / An injustice deliciously squared / Be prepared!

*everyone claps and cheers*

*Soundwave bows*

Starscream: *coming out of nowhere* Wait a minute! I was planning to sing that song when I assassinate Megatron!

Me: For the last time, you are not assassinating Megatron! Besides, what are you doing here!? Your not even in this act.

Arcee: *Coming up behind him* I'm sorry, I couldn't keep him in the back room. *To Starscream* Now, Screamer, what did I just say about going out onstage when your not supposed to?

Starscream: That if I did it again I'd get grounded.

Arcee: Yes. Now, no more spice pumpkin lattes for you.

Starscream: No! Anything but the lattes! Arcee I beg of you!

Arcee: *grabbing his ear* Come on, they've got a chapter to film

Starscream: Ow! That hurts! And your just kidding about the lattes right? Arcee, right? RIGHT?


Chapter 6

*Orion tackles Ironhide, and the two crash through the fruit stand, and land on top of each other*

Orion: Hey, girl, how you doin'?

*Everyone laughes*

Ironhide: Could we just scratch the plot and make this an Optimus x Ironhide smut fic?

Me: Tempting, but no.

Orion: Besides, I'm way out of your league.

Ironhide: Your a whole foot shorter than me, if anything your out of my league.

Orion: *tackling Ironhide* SAY THAT TO MY FACE ASSHAT!


Chapter 7

Narrator: Energon, the substance that provides immortality, is a pain to cultivate. Likewise, this entire exposition dump is a pain to narrate.

Me: I didn't ask for your opinion.

Narrator: *ignoring me* so instead of narrating this long, boring, exposition dump, I am instead going to tell you all the story of how the author adopted her dog.

Me: Shouldn't I be the one telling that story?

Narrator: When the author was around eight years old, her old dog, who's name was Samson, died of old age. He was older than her, and for the last two years, it seemed like he was going to kick the bucket at any moment. He had contracted several different cancers, as well as altimeters, and was the dog equivalent of a senile old man who can no longer remember his own name. This dog was mercifully put down. Her mother, being a dog lover, of corse wanted another one, and considering the authors cat hated everybody, the family understandably longed for a new animal to cuddle, or at least one that wouldn't claw their eyes out if they tried. So, a few months later, for her mothers birthday, they adopted a dog. It was a rescue, and the particular dog was the shyest of the litter. Her name was Cha-Cha. A very ridiculous name, but her previous owners where putting the puppies up for adoption anyways, so they decided to name all the puppies after dance moves and call it a day. The author and her family had a very fun time choosing between the puppies, and holding them, and chasing them. Her younger brother was saddened that most of the puppies ran away from him, and her youngest brother was a baby so he didn't know what was going on. They chose the dog they wanted, and picked her up a few days later and brought her home. This was the beginning of something amazing. The family renamed the dog Chloe, and they raised the puppy to be obedient, lovable, and to know she was loved. Soon, the puppy grew into a dog, and they loved her the same. Chloe was the most friendly dog anyone could've ever met. She rarely barked, was sweet to everyone, loved to play, and most importantly, loved her owners. This dog an irreplaceable part of the family, and as the author is writing this, she can see her dog, wondering around the dining room, sitting by the rooms big window, and soaking up the sun. The end.

Me: Cool. Now can we film the scene now?

Narrator: I thought you would like hearing the story of how your dog was adopted.

Me: I would've liked to tell it! It's my story, not yours!

Narrator: Well aren't I part of you!

Me: Well yeah, but... wow. I think my mind just broke.

Narrator: Goddamn it, if your mind breaks, so does mine!

Me: This is weird.

Narrator: I'm just gonna narrate the scene now...


And that's all the time we have for today folks! I hope you enjoyed this bonus chapter. Part 2 of the bloopers will come next Monday, and the Monday after that will probably be the start of the next act, though that depends on wether or not I can think of anything else for the bonus content. I do prefer to write ahead so that I can keep up with the update schedule, so the temporary hiatus from actual story plot should give me enough time to get back on track. I have written the first chapter of the second act by now, but I like to be at least three chapters ahead of the update, mostly for the sake of my sanity. Hope that all makes sense.

Hope you enjoyed! Review!

~MotherUniverse signing out!