A huge thank you to those of you who took the time to review. I appreciate your comments/suggestions! This chapter catches you up on Arya's perspective since Eragon's departure. I hope you enjoy and please continue to share your thoughts/suggestions!
Arya found herself seated beside Nasuada in an oversized, plush armchair - a very welcome change of seating style compared to the knotted throne of the elves which she had situated, albeit sometimes grudgingly, since the time of her mothers passing.
It had only been slightly over 4 years since she had taken the title of dröttning. 4 years passes for most elves as if it was only a day or two, for when your lifetime is more often measured in centuries rather than in years a measly 4 years should seem insignificantly short. Right? In most cases it would, but since taking the throne it seemed to Arya that she had endured 4 lifetimes rather than a short 4 years.
She had found herself in Nasuada's company for the annual meeting between the leaders of the 4 free races of Alagaësia. The yearly meetings were always tedious at best for Arya, but nevertheless she had always looked forward to them because at the very least it gave her a chance to leave behind the knotted throne and the forests of Du Weldenvarden at least for a short time. Leaving the forest also meant that she had the opportunity to soar the open sky on the back of Fírnen, camping in the wilderness as she travelled between Ellesméra and Ilirea where the meeting was held. These trips helped to distance Arya from the seemingly never-ending problems that came with running a kingdom, but they also were a pleasant reminder of the trips she had so often undergone while in Eragon's company.
Eragon. That was the thing that pained Arya most these days, and that was one of the reasons why she had sent her guards back to Ellesméra yesterday with the conclusion of the that year's meeting while she had stayed behind in the company of Nasuada for a few extra days. Lord Däthedr, Arya's and previously her mothers, most trusted advisor had met her suggestion to remain in Ilirea with not a small amount of opposition and protest. He had argued that her duty was to return to the throne in Ellesméra immediately for her people would undoubtably have many issues that needed her attention as they had already been gone for too long. They had left Ellesméra two weeks previously having taken 8 days for her guard to travel via foot or by horse and having taken an additional 6 days were taken to conduct all of the business that required the attention of the convened leaders, foremost among these issues being the newest generation of dragon riders. It seemed that the leaders, especially King Orik and Nar Garzhvog, were very interested in an update on the progress of the new riders training and when they could expect to receive another egg from Eragon.
The meeting, especially this topic had been painful for Arya. Having to hear his name was hard enough, but on top of that she was constantly reminded that it had been so long since she had talked to him, since she had heard his voice or had seen his face. She missed him dearly. She had always counted Eragon as a dear friend of hers – one of her only true friends if she was being perfectly honest with herself. Why did she long for him in such a way then?
Enough of this she scolded herself. She usually got to see Nasuada only once a year due to the fact that she was busy dealing with the elves, and because the elves rarely, if ever, left Du Weldenvarden unless absolutely necessary. Arya now found it neigh on impossible to escape the vast reaches of the forest either. Nasuada hardly had idle time to herself either. The job of uniting Alagaësia was no small task, but what Nasuada found harder still was fixing the brokenness inside of the people she now found under her reign. The twisted King's impact burned far deeper than she had been aware of. She had known full well that the state of the empire under Galbatorix's regime was far from ideal, but her isolation in Farthen Dûr had made her ignorant of the true horrors those living in the empire at the time had to endure. Despite the incredibly cruel treatment they had been dealt the people of the new and free Alagaësia astonished her each and every day with their tenacity and resilience. Outside of a few minor quarrels the people of Alagaësia seemed to take to their new lot in life with gusto.
Nasuada was very grateful to have been so well accepted as the new Queen of Alagaësia but being well accepted did not mean that her position had been gained or that it was maintained easily. She had thought, or even hoped rather, that once the war had been fought and won that the stress she found herself under, seemingly at all times, would lessen slightly, but alas keeping a kingdom running smoothly was almost as exhausting as leading a war effort. This time she now found to relax in Arya's company was a much welcome relief from her usual routine, unlike most others that she often found herself in the company of she knew Arya wanted nothing from her. Arya did not seek to use her words for political gain. She did not seek Nasuada's audience merely for the prestige it granted her. She knew that Arya saught the same thing she did. Relief however temporary it may be.
It was with this sense of relief that Nasuada turned to her friend and spoke, "tell me Arya dröttning how is life under the green canopy of Ellesméra faring for you" placing an emphasis on Arya's title.
With a slight roll of her eyes, an action that she had not so long ago seemed to reserve exclusively for Eragon, Arya said, "must you remind me of that title now of all times? I get enough formality from the elves on my court as I'm sure you can imagine; must I receive the same formality from you as well My Queen" again placing emphasis on Nasuada's title.
A short burst of laughter sprung from Nasuada. "I shudder to imagine how tedious official proceedings can become amongst the elves, people insist on being formal around me constantly, but the formality of humans shies in comparison to that of the elves. I do not envy you in that regard my friend."
"You have no idea how tiring it is repeating the same gestures and lines of greeting. The action has become dulled to me to the point where I no longer give them conscious thought."
"Yes, I can only imagine that this must be true, but let us tarry no more on topics of politics. How have you been Arya?"
"I am managing; however, I feel so alone in the vast forests of my people. I have spent such a large portion of my life traveling freely around the land and amongst the various races of Alagaësia that remaining stagnant for so long seems almost unnatural to me. I long for the adventures I once had and for the companionship that I found myself in." Though she spoke truly of her longings, she avoided mentioning that which always seemed to sneak itself to the front of her mind. Eragon.
Though Arya did not voice what it was that she missed most of all about her past life Nasuada had been forced to survive by reading the emotions, thoughts, and deciphering the true intentions of people around her for long enough to know that Arya was hiding something. "Be that as it may," she began "I feel there is one certain aspect of that former life you miss above all others. Am I wrong?"
"I see that you have become as perceptive as and elf dear friend. You are correct of course."
"If I am not mistaken you long for a certain rider just as Fírnen no doubt longs for his dragon."
The tan-skinned-two-legged speaks the truth Fírnen spoke to Arya's mind.
She does indeed, but what concerns me is why I miss Eragon as I do, for I have lost many a friend in recent years, but none of them seem as forefront in my mind as Eragon does.
That is for you to discovery on your own terms dear partner of mine Fírnen hummed for it cannot be told to you or the gravity of it would not affect you as it ought.
Is that more of the so-called wisdom of your race dear partner of my heart?
Fírnen only response to her quip was a deep chuckle, a sound that closely resembled two very large stones being ground together.
Returning to her conversation with Nasuada Arya responded with a slight pink tinge in her cheeks, "and what would lead you to believe that?"
"Everyone misses Eragon, but nobody was closer to him than you Arya. His feelings for you were obvious to all, and I doubt that anything will ever make his feelings lessen, he is a good man Arya, but what really has me wondering is your avoidance of the topic at the meetings of the past many days."
"It is true, Eragon has a wonderful heart, but it is hard for me to view him as a man when he is still so young in years compared to myself and the other members of my race. As for the avoidance it was merely due to the fact that I have not been in contact with Eragon as of late, and therefore have little to report."
Arya's comments again made Nasuada laugh to herself a sound that Arya had rarely heard during their march from Farthen Dûr towards the capital and Galbatorix. Arya was glad that people now felt secure enough to utter such melodious sounds. "Eragon may be young in years, but nobody goes through the trials that he has faced and remains in the ignorance of youth, would you deny that as the war progressed so did Eragon's level of maturity and understanding of the world around him? The avoidance is understandable as well, for even I had tried my best to avoid facing the truths about the one I care about for a long while also. It wasn't until my capture, imprisonment, and subsequent escape that I was able to face that which I had long been avoiding."
Choosing to ignore Nasuada's mention of Eragon and instead inquire about this person that seemed to have captured Nasuada's heart Arya asked with a knowing smile, "and what truths were you avoiding my dear friend?"
"I was avoiding my love for him. For Murtagh. I knew that the middle of a war was not the ideal time to contemplate the requests of my heart, especially when we were convinced that Murtagh had willingly betrayed the Varden, but upon my capture there were no other distractions, such as planning a war, to occupy my time. My thoughts were free to wander and reflect on that which had long been pushed down and suppressed. When he healed me after my torture sessions, talked to me at length, comforted me, and offered to help me escape despite the consequences to himself if the King caught him, it forced me to meet my feelings for him head on."
"How is it that you are willing to so freely talk about affairs that are so intimately personal?"
"Feeling and listening to your heart is not a sign of weakness Arya. To love and to let others love you in return is a natural occurrence in life. Maybe it is due to the exponentially shorter lives of us humans, but we view love, such as mine for Murtagh, as a gift to cherish and nurture. I know not of the traditions of the elves, but if you are an example to go by you feel differently do you not?"
"We do not openly express love as you humans, especially not in the presence of others. For elves love is deeply personal and often times fleeting for we do not join together in vows or marriage such as humans often do, but rather choose a mate for as long as we wish then take a different one if we so desire."
"Love should not have to be so complicated. What is it that your heart desires Arya?"
"This is not to be shared outside of the confines of this conversation." Arya said with a stern look on her face that left no room for discussion on the matter and also threatened, however playfully she intended it, severe consequences if Nasuada were to break her trust. Then she got a far-away look in her eyes, and without conscious thought about it a small smile played upon her lips, "but I have long desired to be in Eragon's company again. I miss having my best friend with me where ever our ventures in life may take us. I would even go as far as to say I miss his incessant questioning of everything around him."
This last comment again forced a smile and a short fit of laughter from Nasuada. Once she had recovered she regained her serious expression and continued with a short question that forced Arya to look at that which she had been dancing around for so long. "Do you love him Arya?"
Arya thought hard about what she truly felt for a minute or two before responding. "Love is never that simple Nasuada. I do not know how I feel towards him. How do I know that it is the same Eragon that I left so long ago? I know not if he would still reciprocate my feelings if I were to let myself love him. So much is unknown to me, and so much has changed."
"I cannot speak for certain, but the Eragon I knew was loyal to a fault and as stubborn as a mule. I do not think something as small as four years of separation could cause him to forget about you so easily. That being said, you must trust your heart, and if you do love him then you must find it in yourself to trust him as well."
"Trust is easy to talk about as casually as we are now, but harder to put into action I fear."
"Again, the wisdom of your race shows itself once more. You are true it is easier to discuss these matters with no consequences present, but as I see it too much can change too quickly to tarry thus. The hardships of the war were enough to remind me vividly of this truth. You have the ability to go to Eragon. An ability that I wish every day existed for Murtagh and I. You could fly from here to meet him if you so desired, but yet you remain in misery upon the throne in Ellesméra. Why? Surely it is not out of love for your post, for you have admitted as much yourself. Why then do you stay?"
"I know not Nasuada, perhaps I will have to ask Eragon about this situation when I contact him. The first four riders have progressed in their training to the point where they are ready to seek Eragon's company on his isle. I need to contact him to discuss the logistics of travel and of the arrival of the next round of eggs."
"A valid idea Arya. When do you plan on contacting him?"
"I shall try tomorrow morning for it is late now, and I feel I must take my leave. Goodnight Nasuada and thank you for your words. You say that the race of the elves has much wisdom, but perhaps in our pursuit of written knowledge we have ignored the basic desires of our flesh. I venture that you humans could give us elves a lesson on how to live in the present rather than live in the scrolls of our history."
"Perhaps one day I might" Nasuada said with a smile, "goodnight Arya I shall see you tomorrow."
Arya returned to her quarters located near the top of the eastern tower of the central castle where a room large enough to accommodate Fírnen was given for her use during her stay. She walked to the far end of the room, forsaking her bed, and curled up on the ground pressing herself to Fírnen's warm body as she had often seen Eragon do with Saphira.
"Good night Fírnen" she whispered as she pulled herself close to his body for warmth.
Good night Arya Fírnen responded through the confines of their shared bond. Arya lay there for a long time contemplating her inevitable conversation with Eragon in the morning.
Arya woke feeling the next day excited to finally speak with Eragon, but she was also surprised to feel a nervousness inside her that she had rarely experienced before if ever. What has gotten into me that I feel this nervous excitement in myself she thought to herself.
Could it be the prospect of seeing the one that your heart seems to desire above all else Fírnen responded?
How could that be though if I still do not know how I truly feel about him?
Your mind may not be sure yet, but the instincts of your heart are often far ahead of those of your mind, especially the minds of you tree-dwelling-elves. The overthought of your race and the hesitation to act always amazes me.
And you never overthink matters of importance I suppose?
We dragons are creature of instinct. We leave the thinking and planning to you, but we must leave this topic for the future conversations. It is time.
As you wish Fírnen.
Arya excitedly walked to the scrying mirror Nasuada had delivered to her quarters upon her arrival in Ilirea. She spoke the necessary words and waited for what felt like an eternity for Eragon's figure to show itself in her mirror. She didn't know that she was holding her breath until the figure appeared, she knew this person well, but it was not the person she had desired to see.
