Chapter 9

Elsewhere, Shulk sheathed the Monado, having just won a match against Meta Knight in that one jungle on Bionis. "Yeah! I'm the best!"

But then, a nearby assist trophy glowed. "Wait, what? I thought the fight was over!"

The trophy exploded, and a small Nopon was there. "Heropon Riki bestest!" it shouted at him.

"Yeah, I agree! Riki's pretty cool!"

"Heropon Riki isn't just cool! He's bestest! Take back what you said!"

"Wait, why? I thought we were in agreement!"

But Shulk's attempts to calm the Nopon down were futile. The Nopon lunged at Shulk, clutching a knife in one of its ear-arm-wing-things. He slashed at Shulk, who would've been seriously injured had a vision not warned him of the attack. But what his vision didn't warn him about was this Nopon's 「 P」. The Stand activated, and the Nopon made a sharp turn in midair, and somersaulted into Shulk, knocking him to the ground. "Now say it with me: Heropon Riki bestest!" the Nopon growled.

Shulk complied. "Yes, Heropon Riki bestest!" The Nopon's facial expression turned from one of anger to one of joy, as someone else had finally said Heropon Riki was bestest!

Shulk stood up, but was immediately knocked over again by a blow to his back. The Nopon glared maliciously, as his ally had finally arrived! "Take that, you little shit! That's for part 2! In the name of the moon, PK I Shall Punish You!" Sailor Moon's tiara boomerang came back to her.

The Nopon stood over Shulk again. "Did you think I'd actually believe you? Dumb blondes can't reach enlightenment so easily!" Shulk was now up against two foes! And he didn't have another vision to warn him!

"I know what you're thinking, Shulk. 'Two foes? But I didn't have a vision to warn me,' yes? Fool! I've activated a Space CQC Vision Jammer Canceller Breaker Eraser Confiner Obstructor Buster Closer! You can't use visions!" Nyaruko-slam shouted as she emerged from the assist trophy, two basketballs from the void in her hands. "Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam!" Three? How could Shulk win a 3-on-1!?

Nyaruko-slam dribbled her basketballs, and threw one at Shulk, but before it could hit him, it deflated as it had been popped by a bullet! "Stop right there!" shouted a female voice.

"Oh shit, it's the bailiff!" Sailor Moon shouted, but it was too late. Conveniently, the court hall was within that forest for some reason. The bailiff jumped out of the trees and landed on the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust. The bailiff's silhouette rushed forward, and Shulk could hear bullets fire. "What on Bionis is going on here?" Then, the bailiff turned her head to Shulk and spoke.

"Let us

Commence

With an

All

Out

Attack!"

Now, Shulk could see just who the bailiff was-it was Aigis! Shulk nodded, and rushed forward. The two unleashed a barrage of attacks on the Nopon, Sailor Moon, and Nyaruko-slam. The screen of reality took on a light-blue tone, and Shulk jumped down from the sky, swinging the Monado over his shoulder. Text reading "This is a good result!" appeared behind him.

Just behind that, Rohan peeked out from behind another tree, having observed the entire battle. "Nani!?"

Chrom and the others burst out after everyone. "Ah, Sailor Moon. So this is where you ran to."

Sailor Moon slowly stood back up, obviously wounded from the All-Out Attack. "Yeah, what of it?"

"You didn't run very far."

Lucina sighed. "Sailor Moon. You've been enough of an antagonist to me this whole story, and I'm honestly getting sick of it. In the name of the future, I shall punish you!" Lucina struck Sailor Moon's pose, clearly mocking her.

"Wow. Freak you, dweeb. Really? Really?"

"Y-yeah…"

Nyaruko-slam slowly raised her head, looking behind our crowd of protagonists. Her eyes widened. She feebly shouted, "Wednesday Frog, look out!" But it was too late. Dem Bois burst out of the trees, and unleashed a bombardment of attacks on Wednesday Frog. In slow motion, everyone else shouted out "Noooooooooooo…." But Dem Bois' combined attacks were too powerful. Wednesday Frog lay there, bloody and beaten. He quietly croaked out, "It is not Wednesday, my dudes…" and the last bits of life drained from his eyes. Everyone burst into tears, except for the diabolical Bois. How heartless!

Their anger turned to rage. Moral alignments were irrelevant. Sides dropped. Friend and foe were no more, for they were now the same group, and they glared at Dem Bois. Before Dem Bois could react, Aigis fired at them, striking one and knocking it down. Seizing the opportunity, FeRobin whipped out her signature Bolagnanone and cast it at the fallen Boi, turning him to ash. Sailor Moon used PK Moon Tiara Boomerang, and threw it at the other Bois, stunning them. MaRobin pulled out a Smash Ball, and shouted at Chrom to come assist him. The two unleashed Robin's final smash upon the Bois, killing all but one. But the remaining Boi cackled. "O shit! You couldn't kill us all, and now my 「STAND」 will summon more Bois!" FeRobin gasped at their futility, and 4 more Bois appeared. Were Dem Bois unstoppable?

The fact is, Garfield could've easily crushed Dem Bois. But, he was busy eating the entire lasagna buffet that was in the courthouse and then was going to take a nap.

Anyway, avenging Wednesday Frog was crucial. Nyaruko-slam threw a void basketball at a Boi, tearing it apart. (Perhaps it was merelt sent to the Shadow Realm.) Lucina pulled out a gun, and took aim at another Boi. But suddenly, her gun jammed. She couldn't shoot, which gave Dat Boi an opportunity. He threw his unicycle at her, hitting her right in the stomach, winding her. She gasped for air, and Dat Boi lunged at her. But MaRobin Dual Guarded, saving Lucina from certain death. "Scream" ouched MaRobin, the blow delivered to his arm. How could he use his Levin Sword now? How futile was this fight? Lucina sneezed out of fear (it's a real problem, okay?), causing her to inadvertently draw a gun and shoot Nyaruko-slam multiple times.

"FIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEE" yelled what everyone assumed was a poster.

But the tides were about to turn. The Nopon child began to shake, and yet another figure jumped out from the trees. Just how many people were hiding here? The new figure was here to help, for it was none other than Heropon Riki himself! He was second in power only to Garfield. The Nopon child jumped up and down in excitement! "Heropon Riki bestest!"

Riki turned toward Dem Bois, and opened his mouth, spitting out fire. "Burninate! Nyapakapow!" Dem Bois were all burned, but Riki wasn't done giving them the ultimate smackdown yet. "F-F-F-Freezinate!" Dem Bois were now severely weakened by both of Heropon Riki's attacks. It was time for the finishing blow. " 「 E」!" The second Soda of the Gods Stand was revealed, and launched a blast of the carbonated, citrusy goodness, obliterating four of Dem Bois and leaving the fifth on the ground, dying.

With his last breath, Dat Boi spoke. "O shit, much like the South, Diet Coke will rise again…" Chrom was shocked. Diet Coke would rise again? It seemed like Garfield was right.