Chapter 2
Akira ducked back behind the pillar, trying to comprehend the fights he just saw. What? What? Why did frickin Pokemon get Stands, but not him? It wasn't fair. He had to find Rohan and fix this injustice.
But before he could look for that beautiful man, Riki somehow spotted him from the other end of the room, even though Akira was completely behind the pillar so it would be physically impossible for Riki to see him. "Heropon Riki see stranger! Stranger danger!"
Aigis, suddenly scared of strangers, fled through the hole in the wall, abandoning our group of protagonists, and possibly this story as a whole. Meanwhile, the rest of them walked over to where Riki gestured, and found Akira. Garon gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"You didn't take your entire harem with you, Garon. You aren't supposed to make your favoritism obvious."
"Pssh, whatever. I bet you've got a favorite, too."
"Well duh, but I don't let the rest of them know that I'm doing naughty things with my teacher, like getting extra tutoring at my house for free."
"Oh. I see."
Takumi rudely interrupted them. "Uh, can we please get some actual plot progress here?"
Chrom tapped Takumi on the shoulder and coldly stated, "boy, we just had a heck of a lot of plot. We need a solid entire part's worth of filler, maybe even two."
The Robins gasped. "No pls, anything but two parts of filler. This isn't Naruto."
"Fine, maybe just a chapter or three."
"Deal."
"...But this chapter doesn't count."
"...Oh. By the way, did you know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, and that for a formula to be a function, each input must have one and only one output?"
"Why, yes, Robins, I did know that! After all, I studied the American public education system."
"But Father, I didn't know that. In my world, we didn't have the American public education system, as once Grima became president he abolished all schools except for Sunday School. But, to be fair, that's pretty important. We all need Jesus in our lives."
"No, Lucina. You're wrong, and I say that because I'm a dirty heathen who hasn't reached enlightenment."
"I'm sorry to hear that. But you should accept Jesus into your heart."
Before their bickering could continue, Garfield slapped everyone present (even Obama, whose Stand had been active this entire time. Makes you question how Buzzwole was defeated by a single attack, doesn't it?) and got their attention. "Children! There's no time for this pointless fighting! We have to stop Diet Coke once and for all!"
The Nyaruko-slam poster angrily responded, "come on and slam, if you want to jam!" As its interpreter, Shulk explained to Garfield that what it wanted to say was "come on and slam, if you want to jam!"
"Hmm. That's a fair point, Nyaruko-slam. Perhaps you do deserve a break. Filler it is!" he clapped his hands twice, and the contract was sealed. There would be filler chapters.
