Chapter 6
The group walked down to the main hall, where Master Hand had just finished setting up the Christmas tree. "Looks great," Pac-Man said as he saw it.
"Why, thank you. I put my hea-wait, what're you doing here?" Master Hand angrily questioned. "I thought I fired you!"
Before Pac-Man could justify his presence, Master Hand assumed a battle position, and fired his finger lasers. However, since it was Christmas time, the lasers were all either red or green instead of white. Pac-Man was escorted out of the building.
As he was unleashing his holiday wrath upon Pac-Man, Chrom shouted, "Woo! Lookin' cool, Master Hand!" Suddenly, everyone gasped. Lookin' cool was an action reserved for Phantom Thieves! Crazy Hand burst in.
"Master Hand. Are you...are you a...a...a Phantom Thief….?"
"C-Crazy Hand, no!"
"Don't lie to me, buster!"
In his rage, Crazy Hand grabbed the Christmas tree and started swinging. Master Hand pointed at Chrom. "You! You caused this problem, you're fixing it!" Chrom sighed, reluctantly pulled out a candy cane, and ate it. With that, he underwent a magical girl transformation into his Christmas form. He threw a present at Crazy Hand, KO'ing him instantly. Everyone applauded, and a Chrom trophy fell out of the sky.
"Whoa. Even though I'm not a Smasher?"
With that comment, everyone suddenly stopped, and the trophy immediately vanished to the Shadow Realm. "Oh…."
Then, Shulk stopped everyone. "Listen...do you hear that?" He creeped up to a door, and slowly opened it. Sound flooded out-it was Chase! "Rohan! You know that's not Christmas music!" Rohan gasped, shocked that he'd been discovered. Without saying a word, he pressed a button, and suddenly Chase switched to Chase (Christmas Mix). Shulk gave a sloppy thumbs up and said, "Marginally better."
But before any more holiday celebration could commence, the front door slammed open, and a Nihilego wearing a Santa hat floated in. "Hey, at least it's got Christmas Spirit," commented Garfield. "But did it bring any lasagna?"
Knowing how this would probably go by now, everyone assumed a battle stance. However, Nihilego didn't summon its 「STAND」. Instead, it procured some lasagna, much to everyone's surprise. Akira peered out from behind a door, and pondered. Was this Nihilego's Last Surprise? Then, he silently cried, grieving for his own lost Stand. "Whoa, nice," commented Garfield, as he dug in.
However, tragedy had struck. In his rampage, Crazy Hand had broken all of the Christmas tree ornaments. How could they decorate it again in time? Palutena WARP'd into the room, and saw the now-naked tree. "Oh no! How can we celebrate Christmas without a decorated tree?"
Garon blurted out, "Well, does it REALLY matter if the tree is decorated or not?" but Lucina glared at him.
"You bigot! Don't you know we decorate the tree and celebrate Christmas to honor Jesus Christ, our lord and savior? Of course it matters if the tree is decorated."
"Now, Lucina, don't fret. I have a solution," Palutena said. " 「 S」!" With the power of her Stand, the tree had become redecorated. But, in fact, not just the tree, but the entire room was decorated with Christmas Spirit! Lucina cheered, and then managed to get drunk off of a single glass of eggnog. Chrom and the Robins shook their heads.
Now, it was time for presents. FeRobin handed MaRobin a Levin Sword. "Since you can only use your tomes so many times, I thought you should carry a Levin Sword."
"Whoa, hey, I got you a Levin Sword too!"
Lucina gave Akira a box. Inside, was just a slip of paper that said "Ren Ayanami."
"Lucina, what's this?"
"I got you a canon name!"
Suddenly, everyone stopped and turned toward them. Chrom stepped forward. "Lucina, you can't just force someone to change their name."
Akira exploded. "Frick. That. That's a shitty name and I refuse to be called anything but Akira or Joker. Frick. You."
"Uh, Ren, you can't use that kind of language in this story, it's supposed to be PG-13…"
It was obvious Christmas had been ruined. Garfield spoke. "Lucina, I don't think you should get a spinoff after everything's been resolved anymore."
"Now, hold on. Would it really be a spinoff when I've been a main character for the majority of this story? I mean, aren't spinoffs for side characters? If it was mine, wouldn't it just be another part of the main story?"
Garfield stood in shock. Had He been outsmarted by a mortal? Nani?
Before this argument could escalate further, a window shattered. Everyone turned toward the now-broken glass, and there stood….nobody. In fact, there wasn't even a rock or anything to break the window. So how did it just break? They had little time to keep pondering, as just then a massive blade came swinging at Garfield, Chrom deflecting it with his own sword just in time. "The heck!?"
Then, the sword's wielder stepped out from the shadows. Everyone gasped. It was none other than Peppa Pig! Suddenly, a free-for-all Smash battle began, including everyone but Garfield, who was busy eating lasagna again, and Chrom. To be honest, the fight itself wasn't really that important to the plot. Really, it's only here so Peppa Pig gets to be introduced into the story. That's just how it is, sorry. Anyway, Garon was the victor, only beating Peppa and FeRobin (who had tied for second) by a single KO.
Editor's note: This was what we agreed upon since all other interpretations of the story were unreadable.
Peppa thrusted her sword into the ground, and began to emanate a dark aura. The darkness suddenly engulfed the room, and when it vanished, Peppa was gone.
