Chapter 9

After many more minutes, the (Fire Emblem) heroes (plus Shulk and Garfield and also Pyra) finally arrived in Onett-but Lucina was on high alert. "Remember, guys, this is Ness' hometown."

"But, uh, Lucina….we saw Ness die, remember? You're Sailor Moon now, right?" FeRobin asked.

"Huh? No not anymore, Kirby stole the Sailor Moon ability again remotely while he was offscreen."

"Ah. In that case, I think we can-"

But FeRobin couldn't finish her sentence, for it was then that a car came zooming by, hitting Chrom and launching him onto the roof of a nearby house. Lucina looked up, and saw they were in front of the drug store. This was the Onett stage! "Heck!" MaRobin shouted, angry even though nobody was actually fighting. After all, there weren't any Team outlines.

Chrom whimpered. "Guys, I'm scared. How do I get down?"

FeRobin facepalmed. "Chrom, you frickin dumbass. There's a ledge not even 3 feet below you, just jump onto and off of that. Naga dammit…."

Then, Lucina slapped FeRobin. "Naga is a false god. There is only the Lord and His holy son Jesus Christ." But then, as soon as Chrom got back on the ground, another car zoomed by and knocked him back onto the roof. "What the HECK" he shouted in pain. Done with this shit, the rest of the group walked inside the drug store. Chrom could join them when he got back down for good.

The group dispersed throughout the store, going to different isles. Garfield purchased some lasagna, even though this is a drug store and they do not sell lasagna at drug stores. But they can make an exception for Garfield, of course. Also, because He is Garfield, they gave the lasagna to Him for free. While Lucina and Pyra were busy examining cough syrup, MaRobin was getting some Mountain Dew. At the same time, FeRobin was buying Jolly Ranchers, and Garon and Shulk were buying all of the rotisserie chickens. They were planning on making some Lean Cuisine. Haha, get it? Since they're getting the ingredients for lean, but also getting some cuisine? Anyway, Chrom finally walked in, his cape torn and tattered, being chased by an angry dog. The shopkeeper, who was actually Waluigi, pulled out a tennis racket and volleyed the dog out of the store. "Wah." With that, Waluigi returned to the drug store's counter, which was also where he happened to keep his taco shop. That way, people who came into his drug store could also get tacos if they wanted.

Suddenly, Lucina shouted across the store to Chrom, "wait, why are we here? Shouldn't we be looking in Smashville?"

MaRobin responded, "no, Pac-Man was fired, remember? He was banned from Smashville, and last any of us heard, he'd moved here. And besides, how many other cities even are there in Smash Bros? Like, maybe one other?"

"Well, you know what'd be simpler? We've got a Pac-Man amiibo, let's just use that."

"Well, actually, it won't work anymore since he got fired."

"Shucks."

The heroes left the drugstore, and wandered Onett. Because they weren't actually fighting, they could now explore the whole town instead of just out front of said drugstore. So, Lucina forced them all to go to the arcade. They reluctantly entered, and Lucina quickly got onto the nearest unused arcade machine-which just so happened to be Mrs. Pac-Man. "Gee, it's too bad this isn't regular Pac-Man," she muttered.

But before she'd even cleared the first level, she felt a bony hand tap her shoulder. "If you don't get off and let me play, you're gonna have a bad time," Sans said menacingly.

Lucina turned. "Uh, okay….wait, do I know you?"

Despite being a skeleton, Sans sweated with nervousness. "Uh, probably not. Just get off."

"Eh, okay."

With that, Sans started playing. Lucina examined the skeleton, knowing she recognized him...but from where? Perhaps this'll be relevant later, but it's not for now anymore. "Hey, Sans, do you know where Pac-Man is?"

"Oh, yeah. He lives in the east, the house with the red roof."

"Gee, thanks. Wait, how'd you know that?"

"I...live here?"

"You live here? But you're a skeleton, aren't you dead?"

"Lucina, stop bothering with semantics," MaRobin complained.

"Okay."