Warning:
Pregnancy Loss in this chapter - it goes from late 2005 till 2006. If it is something that hit's close to home.
My apologize, you are not alone! It takes time to heal not in the matter of a few days or a year or so - sometimes it takes years to heal from it. But you will get to a time were it doesn't hurt that much, but you never forget. EJ-StoryGirl
Early Fall 2005:
Meredith woke up in the middle of the night, and made her way to the bathroom. She was currently 12 weeks pregnant and had found out a week ago, she had been so busy and tending to the farm and kids that when she realized it - she told everyone the same night she found out. The girls were happy, and so were the boys ,Noah didn't really care he was busy stuffing his face.
That had been about 2 weeks since the announcement was made. She didn't realize she kicked Hershel getting out of bed, and slightly woken him. She let out a groan holding her stomach and sat on the toilet. She felt a hard cramp and cried out silently. She hunched over holding her stomach. It got worse and harder, she cried out and hunched over more using one hand to hold onto the sink and saw all the blood.
Hershel though he heard her, he got out of bed and walked into the bathroom.
Meredith cried out as he shut the door, and came over. He grabbed a towel and put it on the floor. She placed her forehead against him and breathed.
"It'll be okay Dove." He said gently, watching and holding her. "It'll feel a lot like labor." He rubbed her back more.
Meredith nodded and placed her face into his neck and cried softly. "I'm sorry."
"Shhhh." Hershel rubbed her back. "It's not your fault." He kissed her neck and held her close, "Lets get you to bed." He helped clean her up, she put on a new nightshirt and disposible panties because she was still bleeding, nothing else had happened yet. "It'll be okay honey." Hershel threw a mattress pad on her side of the bed.
Meredith nodded, climbing into bed and cried curling up with him.
He rubbed her back and held her close, talking softly with her
She eventually fell back asleep for a while, then woke up to more painful contractions. Hershel called Anna to come look at her.
Anna came over within an hour and examined Meredith and listened for a heartbeat "I'm sorry." She said softly.
Meredith nodded already knowing it. Hershel rubbed her back.
Anna told them what to do during this time, was to keep calm and relaxed, it was going to be a lot like regular labor pain wise, and what ot watch out for. She then left a while later.
Meredith passed it the following night.
The next few days were rough as she continued to heal and recover with clotting. They told the kids that the baby passed away and they held a little memorial for the baby, they named Adrian. They planted a rosebush over it, next to the other two, she had one a year or so ago, and then two this year, along with one for the baby from high school she lost making four rose bushes planted in a line. The kids hugged her and went back inside. Hershel and her stayed outside for a few minutes and just hugged. She kissed him and went back inside with him.
It got easier day by day after it happened, she was trying to keep busy to keep her mind off of it.
2006:
Mid - January, Meredith found out she was pregnant. She didn't tell Hershel until a week or two later and kept it to themselves. She eventually told the girls, but wanted to wait to tell the boys until she was in her second trimester. That didn't happen. Meredith ended up being rushed to the hospital due to excessive bleeding, it was found that she had an ectopic pregnancy and needed surgery. After a week of being in the hospital, and home. Hershel had talked to the girls about what happened, and helped Meredith rest and take care of her.
Later on that year, she got pregnant again, when her due date came and went she was scheduled to be induced and ended up giving birth to a stillborn baby boy they named Matthew. They buried him in the family plot at the cemetery, and planted a rosebush in his memory at home.
It hit Meredith even harder, she refused to talk about it until eventually breaking down while out for a drive with Hershel a week after the funeral, she was worried something was wrong with her - He reassured her nothing was wrong with her. They even went to the doctor to figure out what was going on but he said everything was fine with them, nothing was wrong.
Meredith cuddled with hershel on the bed at home late that night. "I'm so sorry.." she wiped her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. She blamed herself a lot. "I...I'm so sorry."
"Honey." Hershel said holding her close. "It's okay. I'm sorry it happened to us. I don't know why this keeps happening, but surely… God has a bigger plan for us." He smiled softly, rubbing her back and keeping her close.
Meredith nodded cuddling close and eventually but slowly moved on... It would take a while, but eventually it happened.
