Chapter 5
(AN: this chapter was incredibly painful to write, please direct all complaints to the editor for making me do this)
But the launch star didn't take them to Smashville. It took them to the Pikmin world. Sue sighed. "Not even a distant land. We're stuck on a whole different planet."
Marx commented, "no peace looking at the sky."
Of course, since they were on the Pikmin planet, that meant they had to watch out for Pikmin enemies, like the bulborb that snuck up on them. Sue turned around just in time, and quickly pulled out a Clash Blaster (reeeeeeee) and shot it. She suggested, "trouble's always all around so we stay quick with the guns and cannons, standing as long as we can until we get all Dolls up." Nobody really knew what she meant by "dolls," but they didn't question it. Sue continued, "call all bets off. We'll blow through the tar, dealing with lives messed up."
The group decided to explore, to see if they could find a way home (they didn't realize they could access the Stage Menu at a certain location, which would have let them return to Smashville easily.) However, it was getting late, and everyone was tired after that race from earlier. So, they set up camp. Nobody spoke, as they all just wanted to sleep.
But as the rest went to bed, Marx suddenly began to talk with a hint of malice in his voice. "On a sea of dark matter, every minute matters. Living while other lives shatter." Everyone else was kind of concerned. Was letting the adorable good boi come with them a bad idea? "Seeing ghosts scatter as they pour out? We can handle them," Marx added.
"...What." Sue finally asked, scared of the answer.
"It's the tar taking over," Marx answered.
"That came unexpected," Waluigi said.
"Hard to accept it?" Marx asked the group.
"Huh?" everyone else asked.
"Getting marked for death; seeings friends snatched and darkly possessed."
"What the hell is he talking about?" Sue thought to herself. "Is he speaking from personal experience, or…?"
They really couldn't talk anymore, so now everyone really did go to sleep. When they woke up the next morning, they set off to find an escape the planet. But, they were also hungry-they'd need to hunt for food. So, they looked for a good thing to hunt. They spotted a Burrowing Snagret, and decided that would probably provide some sustenance.
Sue pulled out a Firefin Splatterscope, and hid in the bushes nearby. As the Burrowing Snagret surfaced, she sniped it. But it wasn't dead yet. So, it dug back underground, and the group agreed to follow it. But not for long-at that moment, at Octoling jumped out of another bush! But how did an Octoling get here? They didn't have time to question this, because the Octoling pulled out her own Clash Blaster, and shot Marx. Sue realized what ammo the Octoling had used: not ink, but tar! And when Inklings or Octolings used tar, something unique happened-it was illegal now for a reason. "The tar inside stealing the body and breath, till only a shell is left!" she shouted. Luckily, ink can counteract its effect, so Sue Splashdown'd, saving Marx. Then, she faced the Octoling. "A fight to the death?"
The Octoling screamed, "where's the relief? Maybe no more sleep…"
At that moment, a Yoshi appeared-he'd been banished to here since he'd been caught for tax fraud. But Sue suddenly had a surge of PTSD-she began to hear the Yoshi Story theme, and saw that horrid moment-when a Yoshi consumed her parents and made them eggs. She thought to herself, all swallowed in grief, images start to stalk like a beast, I hear voices but no one talking to me…
Waluigi groaned, beginning to regret going on this journey. He mumbled to himself, "It feels like I'm wah'ing away all my peaceful days"
Marx, hearing this, tried to "encourage" him: "Nothing left of that scene! If you are losing your way, you need some protection!"
Marx was right. Waluigi was losing his way. Refilled with determination, he pulled out a tennis racket and tennis ball. He threw it up and hit it, smacking it into the Octoling. The Octoling exploded, but a speck of black tar landed on Waluigi. Sue gasped. "Black tar gets you wherever you go. They could find you quickly. It's sticky."
Yoshi tried to inform them that however Waluigi tries to tough it out, he just can't beat them, but since he is a Yoshi he cannot speak English. Luckily, Yoshi could take them to the area connected to Stage Select, so he did. They decided to go to that Kirby stage from Brawl.
There, Waluigi overheard someone say Onett had been destroyed by a meteor. "Wah can't go back to where wah came from…"
Chapter 5.5
Back in the Smashville jailhouse, our original heroes were locked up. Chrom sighed. "C'mon, can I at least have my iPod?" he asked.
The Polar Bear Police said no. So Chrom pouted. "Fine, be that way. Garon, care to join me?"
Garon knew exactly what Chrom meant. So, they both began singing The Sign, but horribly off-key as Travis Willingham and Matt Mercer cannot sing except Matt Mercer actually kind of can apparently, which is kinda weird. The Polar Bear Police couldn't handle this awful perversion of such an amazing song, and spontaneously combusted. So, Robin used magic to grab the keys and unlock the cell door, letting our heroes escape. What a surprise awaited Waluigi now!
