Chapter 8
Before the chapter could even actually begin, Sue realized something. "Wait, if Waluigi is dead, why haven't we transitioned to Part 10?" she asked.
"It's best you don't question it," answered Garon. "That is, unless you want Garfield to be careless around the fabric of reality."
Behind them, Chrom slowly moaned, "GGGGGGGLARRRRRRMMMMMMFFFFFFG"
"See? Look at what your question's already done."
While Garon and Sue were arguing, infighting had broken out among the Hot Topic Krew. "Lucina, you've become an poser!" Lucas accused.
"N-no I haven't!" Lucina responded between sobs, as she slowly reached for her belt.
MaRobin kept shouting about how he was the Fell Dragon and that because of that they should go destroy an entire timeline or something. "OH MY SATAN JUDAS ROBIN STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU'RE FURSONA" Dark Pit eventually shouted, unable to deal with this anymore. Fortunately, FeRobin walked up and dragged MaRobin away by his ear.
"Naga dammit, you idiot…" she muttered angrily.
But before anyone could resolve their arguments, a gunshot rang out. Everyone turned toward the source of the noise, and saw Lucina holding the gun, trembling. She'd shot Lucas!
"OH MY SATAN JUDAS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT" Dark Pit screamed, unable to cope with losing his lover.
But then Cia shouted, "wait, look!" And then everyone saw. That figure wasn't Lucas-it was Nyaruko-slam!
"W-why do you do this to me…?" Nyaruko-slam questioned feebly, but nobody was sure who she was asking. They assumed it was Lucina, but then none other than Rohan Kishibe showed up!
Rohan tapped his forehead with an pencil. "It was simple. It had been a while since Nyaruko-slam died last, so I felt she needed to die again." Everyone nodded their heads and created a small sea of "mm-hmm"s, all in agreement with such an perfect author. But did everyone truly agree?
For at that moment, Wolf began pulling off his head. It was revealed to be a mask-and underneath was none other than The Author! The Author was furious that Rohan had tried to take his position. However, as The Author is a Mii, he was unable to convey his rage with words. Instead, he pulled out his own gun and shot Rohan. Rohan stumbled back, the life quickly draining from him. Right before he passed, he quietly whispered, "daga…kotowaru…" and finally slumped over. It was done. The Author had regained control of this plot, and could possibly even bring it to a close within a couple hundred chapters.
With that, all of the Hot Topic Krew except for Lucina and MaRobin inexplicably flew away, leaving trails of grayscale rainbows. Then, Sue asked again, "okay, so can we go on to Part 10 now?"
Garfield glared. "Every time you ask, Part 9 gets another chapter."
"Ouch..." Sue woomy'd, but at least this chapter was ready to come to a close.
Chapter 8.5
Back in his office, The Author sat hunched over his computer, furiously typing away. Okay. So, like, what if Sma5h doesn't add Cappy to Mario's moveset? I mean, it's Mario. He's had the same moveset since Smash 64, how likely would it get changed now? Luckily, since this chapter had .5 in its number, it didn't count toward Sue's punishment. To celebrate, he logged on to Fire Emblem Heroes and got his Daily Orbs.
But there were no Daily Orbs, for Fire Emblem Heroes was under maintenance. Unable to use words to express his grief, The Author resigned to merely "graaaaagh"ing to himself.
