Frontline News.
Disclaimer: Skymaster23 has no connection to Bowling for Dollars, Mr. Clean, or Star Trek.
Three and a half days after being informed that an Agent Provost had been sent to find whatever he could about the wreckage of the new Cobra jet, Col. Sharp is taking a stroll around the base. He sees Stalker watching over and shouting at some Green-shirts doing P.T. "Nash, Sikorski; you two clumps of crap are slower than you were yesterday, how the hell is that possible?!", but dismisses it and keep wandering.
He then sees Thunder, Crankcase, Torpedo, Zap, Flash, Gung-Ho, and Wild Bill doing push-ups and heads over to them. "Working up that much sweat, huh; how long till you finish?" He asked them with a small grin.
"About... 81 more... sir." Torpedo grunts, making The Colonel scratch his head in confusion, then look back at the Green-shirts before walking away, deciding he misheard.
He head to back inside and just shuts the door to the restroom when he hears Lady-Jaye and Scarlett whispering behind him. "-ow right, it's weird; Peach took six minutes longer than usual during the afternoon jog today."/"That reminds me of how Duke was complaining that his uniform was feeling tighter, lately."
Col. Sharp went wide eyed at that: Slowing down... physical strain... size increases? He headed to the commissary. Inside, he saw various Joes eating pies, burgers, pastas, and other things of restaurant quality. He twitched an eye and headed back to his office. "Now hear this..."
During the two weeks of Col. Sharp's mandatory exercise regimen (for everyone but Deep-Six, who was the only one not needing it for some reason), Cobra Commander got a letter asking him to be in an alley in the city he had recently ordered construction on. After a few minutes, his mask's HUD indicated a presence behind him, and he turns to see a black garbed figure. "Oh, it's you... what does The Supreme Ruler ask of me?" He asks her.
"Two days ago, a cargo ship from Sirius made a delivery to us; only to have one extra, and unintended, item that they intercepted."
Flashback.
A saucer shaped craft landed beside a large moth like creature, and two violet skinned beings walked out to meet a group of greyish ones. "Let us see what goods you have for us this time." The lead local said, and followed the two inside while others unloaded the ship. They stepped onto a lift and descended to a pseudo-space level, passing by eight containers, a block of glowing pink fluid, and five creatures restrained by forcefields when they saw a large cylinder.
"This was detected on our flight path nine days ago originating from your planet; any idea which nation-state launched it?"
End flashback.
"The anti-vegetation missile... Pythona, is it still active?" He asks, but she shakes her head.
"Unfortunately, they disposed of the warhead before determining it's origin point. Standard procedure according to them."
Cobra Commander kicks a wall repeatedly before pausing and rubbing his hands together. "While we can't do that again, there is another way they can aid us."
"Whatever you intend; be warned, Golobulus' patience has been wearing thin of late." He heard, but when he turned to reply, she's already gone.
After repairing the damage the temple on K-12, the Baroness, Lt. Clay Moore, and Wild Weasel are reading some stapled sheets. "I don't see why i have to be this "Purpy" dork; why not get Zartan or his goons to do it?" The latter complains.
"Becaussse Zartan iss rehearssing for "Father'sss no beasst" at the moment, and his Dreadnoks are manning the ssatellite!" Cobra Commander tells him.
"We aren't enjoying this either, sir." Moore says, having been suckered into it by Trooper 2688. A voice over the intercom then announces that the candidates for Mr. C have arrived before he glances to the Baroness for a second. "Or atleast I'm not enjoying this."
"If you must know, I am only going through with it since i took a course on voice acting when i first went into undercover operations."
In the Goren residence, Sally is with her son, Joe, watching cartoons when it is interrupted by a different show. "Do you know what we like? We like when everyone's the same as us, cause we're The Likables!"
At the Slaughterhouse, The Sarge is watching Bowling for Dollars when it is replaced by a scene showing a man turning into a werewolf. "Don't trust anybody. I could be your neighbor!" It was saying before The Sarge turns it off.
"Or a real pain in the ass." He says, then takes his T.V. outside and throws it.
A half hour later, a teen with green highlights in his black hair has just finished on a truck with armor plates and the gun from a Whirlwind he found in a junkyard on it. "Hah; the death-o-matic is ready for action!" He said to himself while heading inside, only for something to burst through the garage roof and flatten most of it. "...What the feckin' hell?!"
At a factory in Atlanta, Georgia; a middle-aged man is hanging up the phone, and slams a fist on the desk. "Something wrong, daddy?" A blond haired girl asked, having heard the sound.
"Eh; sorry about that, Bree. I just got a call from our advertising department in New York." The man explains.
"What'd they say this time?"
"Well, because of the media takeover, everyone's being charged. Five million for 30 seconds? I'm calling Flim, he''ll know what to do."
"Flim?"
"He's a senator connected to the space agency who used to be the coach of my college football team."
While waiting for the shuttle to be finished, some of the Joes who failed the astronaut training session are in the rec-room watching T.V. "And here we see Cobra's science specialists hard at work." A voice says, and Cross Country, Footloose, and Recondo all scoff.
"Doing what, figuring out how a paper clip works?" Snow-Job asks while playing cards with Ripcord, Cutter, and Clutch.
The reporter walks up to a bald man with a monocle. "Hey, that's the guy we saw back when we rescued Dr. Renault!" Cutter exclaims, pointing to the screen.
"What exactly is it you're working on here, Mr..." The reporter asks.
"Mr. Clean's evil twin." Recondo remarks.
"Dr. Mindbender; undt vhat you are seeing is-"
"The "How to be a loser 5000"." Rock & Roll says outloud.
"-ogramming for robotic arms; howefer, due to security reasons, ve kannot schow ze monitors." The Cobra "scientist" finishes.
"Yeah, and here's a living person's arm for you!" Snow-Job said as he flipped the screen off.
A few weeks later, the Joes are watching the shuttle being set in place. "I still think you should have used this earlier, sir." Mainframe tells Col. Sharp.
"And i told you if you keep that up, I'd have you busted down to Pvt." The Colonel tells him.
Flint turns to the "crew". "You three all sure about going up again?"
"You "seven" still upset you didn't make the team?" Lady-Jaye asks back, trying not to recall how worried Flint and Bazooka had been about her and Alpine.
"...I would have if someone didn't puke on me." Flint mumbles, making her chuckle, and making Scarlett scowl.
"Snake-Eyes said he was sorry five times already; what more do you want? You shouldn't be talking anyway, Montgomery Snot." She says, reminding him of the zero-g segment.
"No need fer alarm, sonny; all uh these here rockets been through a most thorough inspecshun after thuh Challenger disaster." Senator Flim tells him.
"And besides, since Spacestation Delta had it's weaponry removed, this is our only option." Col. Sharp adds.
Not that they reassured anyone.
While Ace's team is taking off, Major Bludd sets up a mortar outside the facility where Airborne's brother is. After the shell lands in an empty area east of the main building, he races for a part of the southern fence and melted a few bars with a small torch. Once through, he makes his way to a circuit breaker and disarms the security system. After breaking open the door with a crowbar, he looks around for any staff members. He finds one hiding under a table. "Wh-what do... do you want?"
"Settle down, mate; I'm here for someone else." Major Bludd tells him. "Namely; where's the-"
"Nearest telepath?" A voice asks from the doorway. It's Tommy, with Wendy standing next to him.
"Bloody oath, mate. I want to send a message to some Joes." The Major replied while pointing straight up. "This will teach that faceless dingo not to change me favorite movie's ending."
Once everything was over, Duke has just finished speaking with the former Mr. C, when Simmons asks something. "What would we call you then?"
The actor stops posing and blinks. "Me? My real name's Will Perry; used to be called The Fridge* back in high school. Will that do?"
"First thing's first." Duke tells him. "The way we operate means you'll just be Green-shirt Perry. Second, you need to survive one year with us. Then, provided that you have the approval of any Joe acting as your squad leader, you can take a codename."
'Perry' pondered it for a moment, then smirked and reached a hand out. "Deal... sir!"
Chapter ten.
* No proof that it's actually him.
