Here's that Rosalie chapter I promised. I'm not happy with this one wow.
Don't own Twilight.
. . .
"Forgive me that I ignored the sun and that I lived in sorrow." - Anna Akhmatova
Rosalie can't count the minutes of how long she's been staring out the window.
Guilt was gnawing it's way into her bones. How did I fuck that up so bad so quickly?
"Rose," Jasper sighs, "Don't feel guilty, it's amazing you were able to stop yourself from attacking Bella."
"I shouldn't have assumed that she could handle a knife." She hisses, hands clutching at her head, images of Bella's crimson blood splashing against the floor taunts her and she can't take the foreign pang in her chest. "I let her get hurt."
"We're forgetting that Bella is actually the clumsiest human on the face of the earth." He reminds gently, voice soft and trying desperately to manipulate how she was feeling. He couldn't really stand it when Rosalie was upset.
"Yeah." And she doesn't know what else to say. Maybe she could bring up how she felt when she looked at Bella's heartbroken face. Maybe ask Jasper to tell Bella that Rosalie did really care for her. "I need to talk to Alice. Go hunting with her or whatever."
She hears Jasper hum in agreement.
. . .
Alice's mouth is smothered in red and Rosalie can't help but wonder if that means something still.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Alice always asks casually, knowing better than to push Rosalie into talking about things she didn't want to. But there is something in how she asked, like perhaps Alice knew something Rosalie didn't. Trying to hide something from her.
But she always knew more than anybody else. It shouldn't bother her but it does.
What if she knows something about Bella?
"Is Bella okay?" Rosalie can't help but ask.
"What do you mean?"
"She- her face today. When Edward said I didn't care about Bella. It looked like she was so upset." Incredibly upset. Rosalie wants to add something.
"Well-"
"And, God! Are you actually kidding me about Edward? I don't see why she doesn't just break it off with him! He's controlling and manipulative; he doesn't let her go see Jacob. And if she can't go see Jacob then how in the hell is she going to be able to visit the ocean? She can't! Do you think he knows how much she loves the sea? Or do you think he doesn't care enough to notice?"
"Rose-"
"I mean," Rosalie hurries on, pacing and tugging at her bloodied shirt. "He always harps about her safety, and not letting her get hurt! Life is not safe, but does he know that? No! You'd think he would right? Seeing as, you know, he almost fucking died from the flu."
"Rosalie please hold-"
"He's holding her too tight, Alice, she's going to break and there's nothing we can do about it then." It hits Rosalie then. It smacks her in the face harder than any other reality slap has hit her before. Bella could die because of Edward. He could kill her by making her kill herself.
Rosalie remembers Bella staring at the knife.
Rosalie remembers the small smile on Bella's face.
"Rosalie!" Alice yells, bringing the attention towards her. "If you're so worried about how Bella was feeling, why don't you go ask?"
Rosalie is already off running.
. . .
Her breath hits the door, but she hasn't knocked yet.
She can smell Bella's scent from all the way upstairs and she can't help but sniff in more of it.
It's always been her favorite smell.
Come on, Rose. All you have to do is knock. How scary is an eighteen-year-old girl really?
Rosalie swallows again, clay fist trying to work it's way down her throat.
She breathes in, and her catches wind of a new smell.
Tears.
Oh God. Please don't be crying.
"Bella!" Rosalie knocks hard enough to crack spider webs into the door. "Bella please I need to talk to you!"
Light footsteps are coming down the stairs and stopping in front of the door. But it doesn't open.
"Bella, please, I would like to clear the air."
And it's like waiting for hundreds of years for Bella to open the door. Rosalie holds her breath and it's beginning to feel like she's in the back alley lying in the street, naked, all over again.
"Rosalie," Bella voice is gruff, it hurts Rosalie's chest. The door squeaks open and Bella's face makes Rosalie wish she could sob.
"Hey, Bella." Rosalie sighs, scanning Bella's bloodshot eyes. "I need to talk to you?"
Bella nods. Lets her in.
. . .
Rosalie takes a seat on the edge of Bella's bed. Bella chooses to sit at her desk, facing her.
"So," She starts off, an odd sense of nervousness taking over. "You know that stuff about what Edward said wasn't true right? I do care about you, Bella, as if you were my own sister."
The response - or lack of - that Bella gives Rosalie isn't encouraging. Brown eyes are blank and pink lips are set in a thin line. There's a flinch somewhere in Bella's face.
"Rosalie, you didn't have to come apologize."
"I didn't," Rosalie hops up, starts to protest. "I-"
"Then what did you come here for?" Bella asks, with such irritation that it makes Rosalie smile.
"I came to see how you were doing."
"Fine." It's another short answer and Rosalie wonders what's she done wrong. "Don't you have Emmett to get back to?"
Rosalie cringes. Emmett and her haven't been… been lately. She doesn't know what's wrong with their relationship. The Rome that was their marriage started falling the moment the family was forced to leave Bella, it's been downhill ever since.
She's tried to get it back to where it once was - showing even more affection towards him, cuddling, she even offered to talk about her emotions; which is something she never does, but Rosalie was desperate. It's not fixed, but it's a puzzle for another day. Right now, Rosalie has more important things to deal with.
"You're more important." Wait.
What?
Bella's eyes widen. Rosalie thinks about taking it back,
but she doesn't like lying.
Rosalie's abdominal muscles are stiff, she's leaning off the bed, ready to get up and apologize. Had she freaked Bella out?
Suddenly, so sudden that it makes Rosalie jump, Bella starts a coughing fit.
"Oh. Ow." Bella cringes, holding her throat. "That hurt."
"Are-" Rosalie stops asking her if she's okay, because stupid ass, obviously not, she just said "ow." "Are you sick?"
"No," Bella coughs again, "Just Spring allergies? I think, anyway."
Rosalie nods, but can't help that she thinks humans are so weird. "Did you get enough sleep?"
"Perhaps too much." Bella sighs, looking down at the floor. Immediately, Rosalie feels wrong, uncomfortable and exposed.
"You've been sleeping a lot lately, Bella." Rosalie doesn't mean for her word to sound as intrusive as they do. Bella's eyes furrow and so does Rosalie's stomach.
"It feels nice."
Rosalie glances, without meaning to, at Bella's wrist, covered with her long sleeve shirt.
Bella is slipping, fading away and Rosalie doesn't know if she can help.
