I watch as the sun color the pavements in front of me as a stride along the road to Yukinoshita's apartment. I awoke to a message asking me to come by her apartment as soon as possible. Really? This early in the morning, I can't even stay at home and relax for a while. There's no reason attached so I assume that hopefully something bad did not happened.
I arrived at my destination and was greeted by Yukinoshita.
"Why did you call me so early in the morning to come here Yukinoshita-san?"
"There's a problem we need to address. It's about Tsurumi-chan she…", Before finishing her sentence Tsurumi soon appeared from Yukinoshita's room.
"Welcome home", Tsurumi greeted me in a reserved voice.
She walked towards me in a meek manner. As she approached me I could see the bottled glee in her expression blooming into a smile upon closing in.
"Why didn't you return last night? Even though you promised that you'd return as soon as possible." Her happy face instantly turned gloomy as she asked me.
"I had to go home for the night"
"Huh? But… our home is here"
"This is your home for now but not mine."
She looked at me quizzically. Our conversation isn't making sense to one another
"No…papa… Don't joke like that" I could say the same for her.
I gaze at Yukinoshita hoping she'd shed a light to the situation. She looked at us quietly. By the looks of her expression I guess she wants to see how I'll react to Tsurumi's strange behavior. Very well, if you're not going to help me then I'll investigate by myself.
"Tsurumi-chan how are you?"
"I'm fine"
"How are your wounds, Do they still hurt?"
"Well, most of my bruises are healed up but mama said to keep the bandages on for a while"
"How about your head, does it feel light or have you experienced any dizziness lately?"
"No, my head is fine"
"Are you sure? Perhaps you've hit your head recently and you just forgot"
She swung her head left and right to deny my claim. I'm getting nowhere. It looks like she's serious with declaring me as her father.
"Then why are you asserting me as your father?"
Her eyes widened and focused at me. My question must have caught her by surprised. She paused for a while before answering.
"Because you are" She answered while staring at me with a confused look.
Is she lying? She's making direct eye contact. Contrary to popular believe liars tend to look straight into the eyes of the other person instead of looking around because they're trying to convince them of their case and not look indecisive. However I don't see any reason for her to lie like this. She's not making any unnecessary gesture nor is she scowling or grimacing. Perhaps she's just confused. She did undergo a traumatizing experience which might have knocked her common sense out.
"It's hard to accept that you can't be with your parents. But we cannot be a replacement for them even if we wanted to. You don't need to lie to us or to fool yourself. We'll continue to take care of you regardless of what will happen"
"I don't understand what you mean here" Tsurumi continued to look at me in the same confused face.
"Do you remember yesterday and the day before that? There was a fire at your house. I found you under a bridge and your parents they're…"
She's now shivering. Her eyes horrified when I mentioned the fire. She can recall the events that happened and I could discuss from there. Plotting points and linking events to clear her head. But I can't continue it's too risky. I might make it worse if I further go into detail and end up traumatizing her.
This isn't working. I can't tell if she doesn't want to accept my reasons or just doesn't understand them at all.
"Hikigaya-kun you're getting nowhere with this. I've already asked her similar questions but to no avail."
"Well at least I'm trying here and not just standing around the corner looking at us"
She couldn't resist my verbal jab and joined the conversation.
"Tsurumi-chan I know it must have been tough, I mean for you to choose Hikigaya-kun as your father must mean that you've experienced the worst if you can accept that"
Oi. there's no need to insult me while questioning Tsurumi. I'll have you know that it's my dream job to be a househusband someday and I don't want you to say that my image to be one is unacceptable.
"Don't you feel anything wrong with this? Does Hikigaya-kun look anything like your father? The same nose, mouth, face and rotten eyes."
"But his looks like doesn't change his role as my dad"
"To be fair she does have a point there. For example your father having a facial reconstruction doesn't change the fact that he is still your father so appearances are useless as a basis for one"
"You know you're not helping the situation"
Fine. If coaxing her through soft reasoning won't change her mind then maybe a strong direct approach will.
"Listen Tsurumi-chan, I am not your father. I never was… and never will be". I said looking at her straight in the eyes with a voice full of conviction.
Her eyes moist and head held down. She turned back and ran towards Yukinoshita's room closing and locking the door. Yukinoshita looked at me with scrutinizing eyes. Great, I made her cry.
I walked towards Yukinoshita's room. I can hear faint sobs behind the door. I knocked on the door. I ready myself to try to convince her to get out.
"I'm sorry Tsurumi-chan. I didn't mean to say that. Actually I meant it but not like that"
No response. I look at Yukinoshita instead and ask her about this.
"You have the key to this door right?"
"I do but unless you have an idea on how to talk some sense into her, then we might as well let her have some space right now. We'll only distress her further if we force it."
"Was she acting like this last night?"
"Yes, she kept addressing me as her mother the whole night. Though it started a lot earlier at around morning actually"
"So this is what you meant yesterday when you said there's something off about her."
"I didn't pay heed to it that morning because I thought she didn't really mean it and that it's her way of coping with the situation. Plus I thought that we'd hand her over to the police"
Compared to when I found her after the fire she's a lot more vocal now. The color of her face returned to their usual radiance. Her injury has mostly healed with probably only scars to show the effect of the tragic accident. I'd say her recovery is almost complete.
But her mind is another story. For whatever reason she now refers Yukinoshita as her mother and me as her father. It's not even a week and we're already facing a problem. She could be worse than when we first met her.
"Hikigaya-kun maybe this is a…"
Mistake. She needs not to finish her sentence. I understand the gravity of the situation. Could the accident have caused this… and to this specific case? We might need expert advice on this, maybe someone who specializes in trauma related effects. But if we go by that logic… perhaps the right action really is handing over Tsurumi to the authorities.
The door swung open suddenly with Tsurumi coming out to plea.
"Papa, Mama… did I do something bad?... please don't be mad… I promise I'll be good just as you want... so please…"
She's perceptive. She must have felt the discomfort we were making regarding her.
"Sorry to worry you Rumi, I'll try to be more considerate from now on"
I instinctively answered when I saw her dejected face. I can't help it. I made my decision over this matter yesterday. There is a point where we needed to stop and we clearly passed that. I'll keep going and see this through and act as a guide to make things right.
Yukinoshita sighed. She probably understands my intent to go along with this. She held Tsurumi and said in a reassuring voice.
"Rumi you are not at fault here. However should a problem arise where we cannot take care you please trust us to make the decision for what's best for you"
That was directed not only to Tsurumi but to me and herself; to serve as a reminder for all of us to take responsibility for this when the time comes.
Tsurumi nodded in affirmation. "I don't need to worry. If its mama and papa then I know that they'll come through any problem no matter what"
We were slightly flushed as she remarked her faith with the two of us. This will be another obstacle for us to overcome. I only hope that there won't be further consequences from our decisions as this goes on.
Time passed quickly, the day has gone and night arrived and deepened. The air is a lot colder now in contrast to morning's summer warmth. It was another normal day if you ignore Tsurumi's sudden lapse of common sense earlier. We spent the day quietly reading on our own. Though we didn't interact much today it feels a bit awkward around Tsurumi. It will take a while getting used to her addressing me as father. In hindsight at least she won't be distressed if I play along for now. However I can only hope that acting the part will help her in the long run.
We heard a knock on the door. I looked at Yukinoshita. She had the same surprised face as I had meaning she's not expecting any visitors. So who's at the door right now? Someone familiar or… or could it be the police? I know I'm careful when I try to enter the apartment every time. Even if I'm invited here I still try to lessen my presence for no one to notice me. My eyes always aware for anyone near my vicinity. My stealth Hiki skill has become a passive skill lately so it couldn't be.
Yukinoshita asked Tsurumi to hide at her room for now while I approached the door to open and greet our unexpected guest.
"Keep quiet. Not a sound no matter what. Don't open the door until either of us says so"
Yukinoshita instructs Tsurumi then locked the door. I held the doorknob and opened the door slowly allowing only a small space enough for me to take a peek at who is outside. Instead it swung open wide unbalancing me and letting stumble sideways to reveal the person in question.
It was a fox in human clothing. A flawless face painted with a gentle smile that could sway the hearts of men attached to a body that most women would envy. She can be described as a person as elegant as a beautiful rose hiding a sharp unpredictable persona.
"Nee-san" Yukinoshita spoke out in a sad whisper
It's worse than the police. Of all the people that could have been it got to be her. I can't bear to imagine what she'll do if she found out who else is staying here than her sister.
"Hello Yukino-chan How have you bee…Oh my… Hikigaya-kun what a surprise. Could it be that you've taken my dear little sister's heart… and now she wants you to stay at her apartment", Yukinoshita Haruno held her mouth with widened eyes and looked at us with an unconvincing appearance of surprise.
"You've done it now Hikigaya-kun. So how did you seduce Yukino-chan come now tell nee-san all about it".
"Are you done yet, you can stop now you know? I know that you know that we're not dating, or lovers or anywhere near in the process of becoming one. Judging a scenario on your first impression will only lead to a lot of misunderstanding."
"Defensive now are we. Are you sure you're not just trying to change the subject. Aren't we secretive? Or maybe you're hiding something more"
"…"
"Just kidding, No need to blush. Hope I'm not ruining the mood you're both in."
I'm not blushing nor am I amused. She kept poking my throat with her elbow. I want to say a lot more but I kept my mouth shut to not provoke the beast. It's irritating to hear her tease us like this but it's for the better. I need to be as unsuspicious as possible for this situation and respond only when necessary with caution. The problem is we are hiding something from her and if she interrogates us with the right set of questions involving my presence here then we'll have trouble with keeping the whole situation a secret. Her unannounced visit has already caught us unprepared and if she were to notice that there's a fourth person in this apartment…
"So how long have you two been going out? Be very careful hikigaya-kun or onee-san might become an aunty a lot sooner."
"Hikigaya-kun came here as an invited visitor. What's more of a concern here is the uninvited one." Yukinoshita finally intervened trying to stop her sister from her deranged imagination.
"How cruel my own sister now wants me out off the picture to have Hikigaya-kun all for herself."
"Enough. What are you here for really?"
"No need to get agitated. I only came to check up on my cute little sister."
"Why the sudden visit? You've never done something as rude as an unannounced visit before."
"It is my responsibility as the elder to check on my family and make sure you're comfortable at your residence. Besides haven't you heard that there was a fire somewhere near here?" She spoke in an elegant manner befitting of her image not like her tone before.
"Yes, I've heard the news cover that topic a few nights ago. However as you can see there is no danger in my immediate vicinity, my health is satisfactory, and I'm fine as always so there is no need for you to worry. If your concern is needed then I'll be sure to call if that time ever comes."
"I see. Very well I'll be on my way then. Since you're very eager to get me out then I'll comply for now. You must be very excited to snuggle beside hikigaya-kun at bed to be like this."
"Hikigaya-kun is not going to sleep here and will be leaving shortly after you so could you stop your delusions from running rampant in your mind."
Tud. We heard a sound resonate somewhere. I'm not exactly sure where it came from but the first thing that comes to my mind is Yukinoshita's room.
"Did you hear that?"
"Yes, could be from the neighboring units… none of our concern"
"Hmmm…" She posed in a curious manner
Neither I nor Yukinoshita reacted any different from the sound. There's nothing suspicious with our actions. Please let her ignore it.
"Hmmm… Well then, I'll be going now. Farewell Hikigaya-kun, Yukino-chan, stay in touch and remember… keep it in moderation", she remarked teasingly
With that she closed the door. She left as quickly as she appeared. We kept still continuing our calm act and waited for a few minutes. I walked towards the door and looked outside… just in case… to be sure. After we made sure that we're all alone now. We breathed a sigh of relief.
"Do you think she noticed?"
"I don't know. I can't tell"
I felt relieved that she didn't inquire further about my presence at Yukinoshita's apartment. Though I can't help and feel that somehow it's wrong. That there's a part of me that can't accept that she just forgot to ask or that she wasn't at least a bit curious enough to ask us why exactly am I here.
With that we approached the door where I suspect the source of the sound came from. We unlocked and opened the door to find Tsurumi sitting in the middle of the bed. We approached her to discuss if she caused the almost accidental reveal.
"Did you cause that sound we heard earlier?"
She looked at us with her cheeks pouted a little bit before turning her gaze away from us both.
"Rumi tell us what's wrong?"
"Why ? mama you said papa will leave again…but… but you promised last night"
Promise? "What does she mean by that Yukinoshita-san?"
Yukinoshita was fidgeting. Her eyes cast on different directions, troubled.
"I… well… She wouldn't stop sulking last night when we were about to sleep without you so I had to…"
"Last night you promised that papa would stay tonight since he didn't come home and that we'll all sleep together."
The three of us. Sleep. Together. I couldn't help but feel a bit anxious upon hearing such a ridiculous request.
"I… Fi… Fine. he'll be sleeping with us tonight" It took all the strength for Yukinoshita to comply to such a nonsensical request. Tsurumi's appearance turned bright and happy as she heard her mother's approval.
"Are you sure? you don't have to go through with this is if you really don't want to"
"I'll keep my word" she repeated. I can't tell if it's the noble choice or not to keep her promise and give in to Tsurumi's demand
After an hour or so of getting ready, here I am inside Yukinoshita's room lying on top of her bed. The three of us somehow fit on the bed. Tsurumi volunteered to sleep between us. Yukinoshita showed discomfort of the idea but agreed eventually as the alternate solution would have been unbearable. If she wanted to part between us then she would have to sleep beside me.
I lay in bed sideways with my front opposite them. I don't want to make things more awkward by facing them. I try not to move in the slightest to not let them feel my presence.
Sleeping is proving to be a difficult challenge. What I find uncomfortable isn't the small space the three of us are occupying but the individuals whom I'm sharing the bed with themselves. Distractions surround me in this room trying to dismantle my peace of mind, the silence of the room emphasizing the soft humming of their breath, the pillow carrying the lingering scent of Yukinoshita, the warmth at my back reminding me of their proximity.
"Papa don't you feel cold being far from us? You'll eventually fall if you keep distancing yourself over the edge. Come closer to us"
Tsurumi without warning grabbed me from behind urging me to move closer towards them. Her arms wrapping around me took me by surprise.
"I… I'm fine. Coming closer would do me no good. In fact I'm distancing myself for the sake of all of us. So let go of me"
"Rumi … let him go… there's no need to drag him closer"
Yukinoshita grabbed Tsurumi while she held onto me in defiance. The commotion forced me to turn around thus removing her hold on me. This caused me to get a good view of my current roommates. Yukinoshita is wearing a yellow pajama covered with pan-san faces all around while Tsurumi is wearing a pink pajama with cat designs scattered.
"Now together the three of us are close and warm", Tsurumi smiled upon seeing our circumstance.
My eyes meet with Yukinoshita's for 1 second before awkwardness settled in. We both instantly turned our backs to face the other direction.
"Eh… Why? muuuuhhh", voiced Tsurumi in a disappointed tone as we turn, facing away from each other.
The way she's acting is like a kid gone happy after finally able to spend time together with both parents. Unbeknownst the embarrassment she's causing to both of us.
"Sleep. Not another word Rumi", commanded Yukinoshita in a stern voice
"But it's cold if we all embrace each other th…"
"Stop complaining, and close your eyes and mouth.", I replied with the same conviction as Yukinoshita's
"Sigh… Good night mama, papa" The child whispered silently, tucking in and covering herself in the blanket as her simple wish was denied.
Author Notes:
Hello again. I think I'll be using this section as a sort of afterword for every chapter from now on to analyze and discuss the idea used in a chapter, share my inspirations and character concepts of this fanfic.
Inspiration
Berserk: Lost Children arc and Spring Flowers of Distant Days flashback
YES you read that right. Berserk. The manga I mentioned in the previous author notes, the cause of that first chapter's emotional outburst, the cause of your OOC comment. If you're familiar with this manga or at least have heard of it then you probably know how distant this is from Oregairu. To be exact this grimdark manga is at the opposite direction from a lot of modern anime/manga nowadays. Oh I have but only praises for this manga and how emotional it can get the reader in a different way from romance or drama.
The alternative premise of this fanfic was to get Rumi to be babysit by either Yukino or Hachiman and somehow get both of them together. Very different from what I have now. The babysit storyline would have been a lot better for pacing, I get to keep the characters in tune, have self contained chapters like an episodic show, No injured characters in the making of the fanfic, No complicated plot, No OOC until romance scenes. Just fluff filled chapters good for the heart.
The only problem is I found the whole thing… boring. It's like accepting only the 1st season of Oregairu and ignoring the 2nd. There's nothing at stake I can end the babysit fanfic as abrupt as it begins. The happy chapters I've thought up are good for 2nd act scenarios and character development but can't be used for a satisfying conclusion or beginning. When I read the specific chapters of berserk my mind sparked fireworks with what I could do with an Oregairu fanfic, circling around the concept of childhood innocence. Now I have strong beginning and ending in mind, well at the cost of an OOC start, difficult plot building, headaches but I digress. I'll discuss this more when I get near the ending.
Of course berserk is not the only inspiration. After all we need to have a good balance of happiness and sadness
Again thanks for reading, reviewing and following my work. Till next time.
