I open my eyes and sat on my futon. I scan around to find Tsurumi still in slumber but alone in bed. Yukinoshita must have woken up earlier.
I Stood up and walked out of the room. I saw Yukinoshita near the dining table alone shrouded in silence. I decided not to bother her with my presence and remained hidden from her sight. I walked sideways away from her direction.
"I've noticed you a moment ago Hikigaya-kun. If you continue to keep hidden I'll have no qualms in reporting your indecent behavior"
"Good morning Yukinoshita-san" I walked to her with no choice now that my stealth has been uncovered.
"I wasn't stalking you"
"Your actions prove otherwise"
"I only figured that you'd like to have no one around for a while"
"and why would I?"
"You must have missed the solitude in your apartment because this would be your first time alone since the accident so I thought you'd like to have as much time with only yourself for once"
"…" She paused for a while before she continued "It's alright there's no need for you to be concerned about that"
I sat across her and looked at her once again. Her expression returned after a brief change when she stopped an immediate reply.
"So… with the way things are. Are you experiencing any difficulties considering the circumstances?" I had a little trouble wording what I meant to say but if it's her then my intention should have been clear. She seems to be the same as always but how about inside. I wanted to ask her again on her outlook at this now that it's been a few days together with Tsurumi.
"I'm managing fine except for a minor trouble"
"What would that be?"
"You"
"Oh" I should have expected that answer
Silence again loomed between us. I spoke again to break the ice
"You once told me before that it is the duty of the strong to help the weak."
"I did, you asked me that before when you were entering the service club"
"Are you doing this out of duty?"
"I'm doing this for I deemed it to be the most appropriate decision at the moment… or are you implying something more Hikigaya-kun"
"I only brought it up to talk about what I'll do today. The situation regarding the incident must have calmed down by now. This time I'll try to get information about Rumi's parent's condition. It should be made available by the hospital to the public. It's highly likely that this will be the case especially if the victim's are unconscious so their consent is not needed. With this potential relatives and friends can immediately know the conditions"
"It would be great if they're awake now. They'll be glad to know that their daughter is safe and sound with us."
"I agree that their improved health would be good news indeed. But it's Rumi's mental condition I'm worried about. I don't want to be accused of brainwashing and kidnapping if Rumi suddenly denied them as her real parents. If you'll excuse me then"
I stood up and prepare to ready myself…
"Ne, Hikigaya-kun after you visit the hospital you can stay at home for tonight in your own house. Just call me later about the details of her parent's condition"
"Are you sure? Won't you have trouble with Rumi without me?"
"I'll be fine. I can take care of her on my own. Beside it would be your first time alone again after a few days, wouldn't you like to spend more time at your home with freedom"
I turned back and smiled a little, surprised she would return the same courtesy I gave
"If you insist then.."
I then proceeded to prepare and take a bath before I go.
As I walk out dressed I noticed that Tsurumi had just woken up, her face still a little sleepy.
"Rumi I'll be going out for now. I need to take care of some things"
"Hmm….Come back soon" Tsurumi sleepily replied
"Don't worry I will"
"Bye Bye" she replied. I waved my hand and walked to the door ready to leave.
"Rumi, let's go take a bath now" I stopped in my tracks when I heard that.
''Wha..Why? I can take a bath on my own, there's no need to help me I'll be fine" Tsurumi had a slight blush as she stammer her stance on the matter.
"You're bruises should have a complete recovery by now so you won't need bandages after, to be sure I need to inspect your whole body so I insist"
"O-okay…Though it's kind of embarrassing…" Tsurumi replied still shy and unsure
"Relax Rumi, We need to take care of your skin especially if there are scars. If you'd like I'll wash your hair and back for you too"
"Okay. Then I'll wash your back in return" Tsurumi's usual glee return
Yukinoshita. Tsurumi. Bath. Together. Thought-provoking
My mind could not resist these words from being formed as I continue to hear their conversation. This is a scene a light novel illustrator would gladly draw to boost sales. But my brain stood strong and remained chaste. It did not completely betray me by imagining the bonus cg images.
"I'd appreciate it Hikipervert-kun if you would stop having indecent thoughts of us" the ice queen accused me with a piercing gaze and venomous tone.
"I imagined no such things. I'm innocent. Though I doubt you'd believe no matter what I say anyway"
"I believe you were leaving Hikipervert-kun…Well… go on" She held a firm voice insisting my absence before they take a bath.
"Fine. Good-bye then"
"Bye papa, come back as soon as possible" Tsurumi smiled and waved her hand goodbye.
I waved back and finally took my leave.
Home. Not the pretend one we have at Yukinoshita's apartment but my own where I belong. I felt a slight sense of estrangement as I walk across the rooms like a long time has passed since I've last been here. This isn't the first time I've been away from home and it certainly isn't the longest. Yet somehow the time I spent on that apartment must have warped my senses.
I opened the fridge and took out a can of my favorite drink, Max Coffee. I opened it immediately and drank long vigorously to quench my thirst. My throat felt bliss as the precious elixir pass through it.
My breathing calmed down and I clear my head. Now that I'm satisfied I reached my phone to call Yukinoshita about my visit earlier.
"Welcome Home, Onii-chan!" Komachi appeared with a smug smile on her face.
"Yo" I replied lazily as I quickly closed my phone.
"Have any souvenirs for me? Onii-chan"
"Souvenirs?"
"Weren't you in vacation? One would assume with you being away for days now" She continued to inquire me in a low playful voice
"Your brother's safe return is the souvenir I give you my dear sister" I replied in a caring voice with a slight sarcastic undertone
"Boring, anything else?" she replied. Hm. uncute. "That's minus Komachi points"
"Okay how about I take information as my souvenir then, tell me what have you been up to lately"
"Let me rest in my room for a bit. I'll tell you later"
"No" She blocked my way not letting me pass.
"Don't try to walk away from me. You were gone for days with only a few messages containing vague reasons as your only communication. I covered for you from mother and father… I was lonely you know" Her voice changed, lowered from her previous tone.
"I'm on duty with Yukinoshita upon a request to care for a friend" Far from the truth but still not a lie.
"What's the request about that's taking you days to do?"
"…"
"That's it? Is that all you'll say to me…that's as vague as your messages." She looked at me dishearten
"Yes, I can't say anymore than that" I replied hesitatingly, sounding unsure
"Don't you trust me?"
"Komachi, I trust you. I don't want to lie to you or to keep this a secret from you. If the decision is mine alone then I would tell you everything. But this is more than me. So for now trust me" I can't tell her without the consent of both Yukinoshita and Tsurumi.
"Komachi… I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you"
She closed her eyes an breathed a sigh of relief "I trust you. There's nothing I can do if you're gonna be stubborn like that. However just remember no matter what, I'll always be on your side so please trust me when the time comes. Ah I think I regained some Komachi points there" her smile returned
"Thank you" I replied gaining back my composure.
She moved away from my path after I convinced her. Now to go back to my room, continue my report to Yukinoshita and finally have quality time with no one but me.
"Wait!" Komachi grabbed me by the arm as I pass her. She stepped closer narrowing the gap between us. Her nose rose and made sniffing gestures.
"This smell… there's something about it…"
"W-what's with you? Let me go" I tried to remove her hand off me but her gripped tightened, committed to not let me off that easy. She continued to sniff near me like a curious dog.
"A woman's aroma… It's very faint… but lingers around you…"
"Wha-what are you talking about! Let go of me already" Her claim surprised me.
"I can't be mistaken that's a woman's scent clinging on you. Oniiiii-chan, you're hiding something scandalous. Did you spend all your time close to Yukino. Very very close to Yukino. Tell me what happened. Is there something going on between you two? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me everything!"
Her voice peaked with giggling excitement. Her eyes glisten, staring intently at me waiting for me to say answers that will satisfy her curiosity. She didn't bother to reserve herself and continued to inquire me with fervor.
"I understand now... the way you try to deny and the way you try so hard to hide details… then that means… could it be… that at night you would do this… and do that… to Yukino… aaahh… aahhh" Her imagination run wild as she held her cheeks with her hands and face painted red
"Calm down Komachi, don't jump to conclusions. I did not do any this and that… whatever those mean"
I thought I could have quality time by my own just for today. The problems did not stop bothering me even when I'm away from that apartment. Sigh… This will take all day long. How am I to call Yukinoshita under the circumstance?
I poured a bucket of water all around her hair to wash off the shampoo. I massaged her head along with the hair to properly rinse it.
"Mama does your long hair bother you?"
"Maintaining it is rather harder than short hair. To keep it healthy requires constant care and it gets messy easily especially on a windy day. However I like it this way and I aim to keep it waist long.
Why do you ask? Are you perhaps troubled having long hair?"
She gently nodded her head sideways to disagree "No I like my hair long too I just wanted to find out if we have the same problems"
I poured water again to rinse off any remaining soap on her body. I lightly rubbed her skin with a towel at her back. I could feel the places her previous wounds were. It gave me satisfaction to find out that only light scars appeared. Most should probably get erased in due time given how shallow they are.
"Turn around now Rumi"
I then proceeded to massage her front starting from the stomach to her chest area. I looked at her face and noticed that her cheeks are slightly pink and her eyes look away from me.
"Are you embarrassed again Rumi? I thought you got used to bathing with me by now"
"It's just that you massaging… is kinda…" She looked away again
"This will be good for your skin after all we need to wash it properly to remove all the collected dirt since you were covered in bandages"
"Is that so… I've once heard that rubbing the chest area will stimulate growth so I thought…"
"What? No! Why would you think that" I was shocked by her words. Never would I have thought that she would interpret it that way.
"Ah… sorry…I didn't mean to… I mean… looking at your own… I mean… I just thought that you practice that for… so…"
Her words were uttered in pieces but they were enough for me to understand her point. I instinctively covered my own with my arms. I couldn't help but be embarrassed too after what Tsurumi said.
"N-No! That's only superstition probably made by perverts and well endowed women to belittle us. It's a lie, besides no one should be humiliated by their own figure. We all have differences so let's stop talking about this"
"Ye-yes" She straightened her body as reflex. She kept quiet throughout and didn't complain again while we bathed
We finished bathing not too long after that. I wrapped towels around us and stepped out. I feel relieved that Hikigaya isn't around. Now we have the freedom to get dressed in my room instead of using the shower room. We then proceeded to get dressed. I took out clothes from my younger days. Mother insisted to throw them out for I've outgrown them already but I kept them around for nostalgia's sake. The clothes have aged a little but still clean for I constantly took care of it.
"The way I see it you won't need the bandages anymore but to be sure, tell me how do you feel?"
Tsurumi touched parts of her body, rubbing portions of her skin to feel the places where her previous wounds were positioned.
"It feels a little weird to feel the air around my arms and limbs" She flailed her arms around as she answered my question
"Don't worry you'll get used to it"
I looked at her from top to bottom. She was dressed in clothes I've worn in my younger days. I wondered if I once looked like her right now.
I sat with book in my hand and tea in front of me while Rumi sat near me reading a book on her own. I began to notice Rumi's eyes wander to my direction instead of the book she's reading only to gaze back again at her book. She's been doing this for a while now and has become more frequent by the minute. At last she stood up and approached me.
"Mama let's go out today. I feel a little cramped being here all the time. I know let's call papa to come home early so we can all go out"
"No, not today" If someone recognizes her then it will be a dilemma that I cannot reason with. I won't risk it.
Ring… Ring…
My phone vibrated indicating a call. I looked at the screen to find the expected caller. It was Hikigaya.
"Rumi, excuse me for a moment"
I distanced myself before I accepted the call and held my phone to my ear.
"Hello" He spoke first
"Hello…. What did you find out?" I felt an odd mix of eager and anxious as I'm about to hear the answer.
"I inquired on the front desk about the patients information. I said that I'm somewhat acquainted with the patients as the reason for my visit. I was right; some information is made public for inquiry."
He paused a little, I didn't speak to urge him to continue. I felt cold on my hands and neck, my breathing softened. I can't explain it but I felt tenser than before as we speak
"They are still unconscious. I wanted to see them personally but the hospital directed that only relatives and close friends will be allowed to visit them due to the circumstance of how they were brought in. So if I really insisted I need to provide evidence for the hospital to let me see them for a short time along with an escort to supervise the meeting"
"and their health?"
"Stable they said, though still needs to be on constant watch"
I breathed out a sigh of relief. Tension lifted from my chest. Not exactly the good news I wanted to hear but acceptable considering it could have been far worse.
"That's all I have to report for now" he finished
"Understood, if that's all then you can relax at your home now and have the rest of the day on your own"
"Okay… Hey uhmm… are you sure you don't want me around for tonight. Don't hold back if you need any help" I felt the urge to tease him for he constantly insisted to stay here again but didn't as thanks for his effort
"I'll call you immediately if anything happens, Thank you and goodbye Hikigaya-kun"
"It wasn't much. Bye, Yukinoshita-san"
With that I dropped the call and head back to the living Room. As I sat down I couldn't help but notice Tsurumi's constant look at me.
"Was that papa at the phone?"
"Yes. He was checking in on us"
"When will he be back?"
"Probably tomorrow"
"Eeeeeeeeehhh. Why?"
"I insisted. He could use the time alone away from us and me away from him"
"No. I won't accept that. Won't he be lonely? Call him back. I want him to stay with us tonight" She raised her voice in dissatisfaction and kept insisting upon her father's return.
"Rumi it's only one night, he'll be back tomorrow. Consider our feelings in all of this. We both agreed for him to have time on his own so stop your tantrum at once"
I raised my voice to match hers and stood my ground on the matter. Tsurumi stopped complaining and looked at me sad and dejected.
"Do you understand Rumi?"
She lowered her head unable to continue to meet my eyes and nodded as approval. I don't want to stress her but she needs to understand that she can't have everything and must accept our choices. I felt regret but if this is what it takes to develop her respect and obedience then so be it. This will be for her own good.
Ring… Ring…
I was surprised to see the phone on my hand rang once again. Tsurumi noticed this too and looked up to my phone. I heard her whisper a word in a low tone. Papa. Her eyes suggested hope, that Hikigaya might have changed his mind and decided to stay with us again tonight.
"Excuse me again"
I distanced a little and looked at the caller. It was not Hikigaya as we both have suspected however I'd rather wished it was him. I held my phone to my ear to hear what she has to say.
"Hello Yukino-chan" I'm met with a cheerful greeting from none other than my older sister.
"…"
"Ne, Yukino-chan you're suppose to greet back you know"
"Sorry I thought you'd immediately say your purpose and drop the call, so I waited…"
"It's nice to hear you still have high spirits Yukino-chan" She replied in a slightly sarcastic tone.
"It's nice to hear from you again too, nee-san" to be honest nice isn't exactly the word that I felt is appropriate to use but it should suffice
"So how's my little sister doing? Has anything juicy happened lately" her cheerful tone turned sly as she inquired me.
"My condition as well as my surroundings has been normal since the time of your last visit, yes I'm well and fine"
"That's good to hear though are you sure nothing interesting happened lately or what's interesting to me is normal to you now that Hikigaya has spent time in your apartment… oh is he still there right now?"
"No he's not here, is this all you want to talk about?" I felt more relieved knowing that I'm telling the truth at the moment
"Relax I'm only lightening the mood, I called because I have free time for the rest of the day before a busy night I was wondering If you'd like my company right now"
"I decline"
"Come on… you don't have other plans for today right? why don't we go out right now" She insisted
"I have somewhere to go right now so I'm not available"
"How cruel, shot down immediately. Are you going on a date with Hikigaya-kun? My little sister is growing up so fast and moving away from me"
"No I'm not going on a date, next is I have freedom and privacy in anything I want to do and lastly is I'm already away from you" I'm growing a bit impatient by her constant tease but I couldn't help it since it's someone like her that's calling me.
"Sure understood, you know you sound so cute with the way you make excuses. I can't help but be worried about you. But it seems like you already have someone else to lean on. Oh by the way I'm curious so I need to ask…"
"What is it?"
"Has he already… how should I say this… popped your cherry?"
"Good bye nee-san" I disconnected the call and went back.
Upon my return Rumi sat up immediately asked me about my call
"Was it papa?"
"Sorry Rumi it wasn't him"
"Oh" Her expression turned gloomy again upon realizing that it will only be the two of us until tomorrow.
"Listen Rumi" I held her shoulder to grab her attention "As compensation why don't we go out today like you suggested earlier"
"Really?" her eyes alighted changing from their previous state
"Yes, I mean it let's go out for today" The previous argument on why we shouldn't leave the house still holds. But reasons appeared that outweighed the risk. I felt agitated by my sister's potential visit and with this I'll make my reason to deny nee-san's visit true. Also I'm still annoyed by my sister's vulgar words that now I want to go out and cool my head.
The sun is high and shone brightly all around us. I held Tsurumi's hand as we walk along the sidewalk to our destination. I could see Tsurumi's eyes wander far and wide soaking in her environment. She must be glad to be out and walking again in an open space after being in the apartment for so long. I smiled a little as I stare at her childish awe for things we see every day.
We're headed to the library to pass time for the day. There we could spend our moment in peace without a crowd to deal with. The library is far away from her the neighborhood where someone might potentially recognize her but to be safe I put a hat on her to disguise her from afar.
"Mama look… neko"
I stared at the direction she was pointing to find two white cats. The other one is smaller which I guess is still a kitten so the other would be presumably its parent. They were sitting close to each other on the side of the street.
Tsurumi pulled me towards them. The cats looked at us as we walked closer to them so we slowed down and stopped within a certain distance so as not to scare them.
"Kawaii" she said in a low voice.
We approached closer, careful not to startle them. There wore red collars on their neck. The cats seem to be domesticated and belong to a house nearby.
"Go on try to rub her head" I urged Tsurumi seeing her desire to do so.
She then bent down to gently rub their heads. The cats didn't seem to mind and purred from her touch.
"Gently now" I said as Tsurumi continued to rub the kitten's head. The little kitten closed its eyes enjoying the delight of Tsurumi's gentle massage.
"Nya.. Nyaa…"Tsurumi and the young cat purred in unison as they enjoyed the moment together
The adult held her paw playfully. It seems she wants to join in on the fun. I held my hand out to meet her paw and used my right hand to rub the cat's back streaming its fluffy fur.
"Nya.. Nyaa… Nyaaa…" I can't help but say it as the cat playfully moved below me every time I stroke its back.
We spent only a small time together with our new furry friends but we felt satisfied. We waved goodbye. I held Tsurumi's hand again. We both smiled at each other and then we went on our way again.
We were now in front of our destination. The town library might not be grand nor does it have anything to boast about but it wasn't small and it is said to be maintained with care along with a staff that held their profession with high regard and is friendly to all visitors so long as you keep silent.
We went from shelf to shelf gathering stacks of books. Tsurumi helped me carry them to our table. We began to read leisurely.
As the hours passed we took turns returning and retrieving new sets of books on our table. We had the freedom to venture the library and choose which we wanted to read on our own.
I began to unfold a children's book on my hand. It was filled with stories I once read when I was an age younger than Tsurumi. I don't think Tsurumi would like to read this, I think she's at an age just past fairy tales and cartoons…well except for pan-san but that's different.
As I skim past the pages I stopped when I certain story caught my eyes.
It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. Evening came on, the last evening of the year. In the cold and gloom a poor girl little girl, bareheaded and barefoot was walking through the streets. Of course when she had slippers on, but what good had they been? They were very big slipper, way too big for her for they belonged to her mother. The little girl had lost them running across the road, where two carriages had rattled by terribly fast. One slipper she'd not been able to find again and a boy had run run off with the other, saying he could use it very well as a cradle someday when he had children on his own. And so the little girl walked on her naked feet, which were quite red and blue with the cold. In an old apron she carried several packages of matches and she held a box of them in her hand. No one had brought any from her all day long, and no one had given her a cent…
…Her hands were almost dead with cold. Oh, how much one little match might warm her! If she could only take one from the box and rub it against the wall and warm her hands…
I've once read this before. It was a children's story quite different from the rest. A story not born from fantasy but reality.
She struck another match against the wall. It burned brightly, and when the light fell upon the wall it became transparent like a thin veil, and she could see through it into a room. On the table a snow-white cloth was spread, and on it stood a shining dinner service. The roast goose steamed gloriously, stuffed with apples and prunes. And what was still better, the goose jumped down from the dish and waddled along the floor with a knife and fork in its breast, right over to the little girl. Then the match went out, and she could see only the thick, cold wall. She lighted another match.
With each passing paragraph I began to remember how the story went. How a little girl struggled against her fate to live in a world that ignored her.
"Grandmother!" cried the child. "Oh, take me with you! I know you will disappear when the match is burned out. You will vanish like the warm stove, the wonderful roast goose and the beautiful big Christmas tree!"
And she quickly struck the whole bundle of matches, for she wished to keep her grandmother with her. And the matches burned with such a glow that it became brighter than daylight. Grandmother had never been so grand and beautiful. She took the little girl in her arms, and both of them flew in brightness and joy above the earth, very, very high, and up there was neither cold, nor hunger, nor fear-they were with God.
I think I remember how I felt back then when I read this part. I recall a smile forming in my young face when I saw hope for the little child despite the suffering she kept enduring. But I couldn't do the same now I knew how it would end.
But in the corner, leaning against the wall, sat the little girl with red cheeks and smiling mouth, frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. The New Year's sun rose upon a little pathetic figure. The child sat there, stiff and cold, holding the matches, of which one bundle was almost burned.
"She wanted to warm herself," the people said. No one imagined what beautiful things she had seen, and how happily she had gone with her old grandmother into the bright New Year.[1]
Demise covered in bliss. I wonder what was the author thinking when he made this book. Is it really intended for children? Meant to show them a glimpse of our world at a tender age. But to depict her death under the guise of peace, I can't help but call it cruel.
I closed the book and put it down.
"Rumi, it'll be night soon so if you'd like to continue reading we could borro…"
I looked at her seat… but it was empty.
I stood up and looked around but she wasn't in sight anywhere. How long had she been gone? I can't exactly tell but it felt really long since the last time I saw her sat near me. I walked up to a hall between shelves where we previously gathered our recent books. But it was empty as I looked.
"Rumi?" my voice was now a bit louder, tainted with a little worry.
I began to walk all around going from column to column hoping she'll be there just trying to grab a book from a shelf.
"Rumi… Rumi… Rumi…" Every time I say her name was now followed with growing dread.
My pace accelerated. My eyes dart all around yet I still couldn't see any sign of her.
"Rumi, can you hear me?" I only received silence no matter how many times I uttered her name
I now reached the far end of the library. I turned to look at the last column.
"Rumi!" I said her name louder than any before
"Ssshhhh!" It was a library staff that reprimanded me to keep my voice down.
"Sorry. Uh, Excuse me… by any chance have you seen a child wearing a hat with purple dress come by here"
"Nope, sorry" I felt cold when he said that.
"Oi also no running" I heard him say as I sprint back
I ran to the reception to ask again.
"Excuse me… by any chance have you seen a child wearing a hat with purple dress… she was with me when I entered"
The old librarian looked at me contemplating on what I said. She took her time in constructing a reply
"Hmm… I think I did see a child come pass by me earlier, young lady… she went out the library I believe… maybe an hour or two ago?"
"Thank you" I said in a low tone as I sprint outside.
I left the library and look around but I can't see any hint of her anywhere.
"No" My heart began to sink.
I relied on my eyes hoping to see at least a shadow of her… anything of her.
I ran in directions close to the library, to places where she might have possibly been around. I ran back to places where we passed before, retracing our steps.
I relied on my voice hoping to reach her ears.
"Rumi, are you here?"
"Rumi, answer me if you can hear me"
I relied on others hoping that they might have seen her
"Excuse me have you seen a little girl around… she wore a hat and clothed in purple dress"
But still to no avail.
The sky is dyed red ready to snuff out the remaining light and welcome night fall.
I pant hard. I have never run this long before. I almost gave in on my knees. I'm at my stamina's end. Fatigue culminated my body. Never have I before cursed my vitality until today, how I wished I could still go further and continue to look for her.
Fear gripped my heart. Should I run all the way back to the apartment? Maybe she went back on her own or maybe I should go back to the library? But the library should be close by now… though she might be there right now at the entrance waiting for me so we could go back together.
Desperation seeped into my mind. I held my phone in my hand. Should I call Hikigaya-kun and inform him? But how could he help me right now… Should I call the police now? I'll get questioned no doubt possibly get detained with keeping a missing child as charge. But I wouldn't mind one bit if it means seeing Rumi again.
I felt myriads of emotions that I've never felt before form in my head. How could I have been so careless… so irresponsible? I should have never let any of this happen in the first place. Panic consumed me making it hard to choose one possible solution.
"Don't worry you'll be home soon"
I heard a familiar whisper resound in the air. It was faint but enough to for me to know which direction it came from. I forced by body to walk despite its protest.
I turned from the corner ahead and look at the street to my left and I saw her back… her familiar back walking slowly away from me. I gasped for air before I called her once again
"Rumi!"
She heard and looked back at me.
"Mama…"
She walked towards me as I did the same towards her and we met halfway. I stopped to catch my breath unable yet to say a piece of my mind. She held a white cat on her hands and they both looked at me curiously as I continued to pant.
"Mama, I saw the kitten we met earlier near the library, I called her but she was scared and ran away so I followed and grabbed her, she was lost so I wanted to get her home a…"
I grabbed her shoulders which urged her to stop
"Why… haaa… haaa… Why didn't you tell me… haa… haa… Why didn't you ask for permission? Were you aware of long you were gone. Haa… You had me worried sick running all over in search of you…"
"Mama… I…"
I looked at Tsurumi with eyes fiercely fixated on her own. She anxiously looked at me aware of the hostility in my voice. This must be the first time I raised my voice towards her. My anger is justified. The urge to slap her grew and it wouldn't be wrong for me to do so.
"Eh…"
I've done something she did not expect and neither did I.
I embraced her. I held her small body within my arms, my face rest above her shoulder. The cat jumped from her arms when our bodies collided squeezing it. The little kitten looked at us from the side.
"I'm… I'm so happy that you're safe… I thought I lost you… Rumi"
I tightened my embrace confirming her existence between my arms. As I wrapped myself around I felt the heavy burden containing all negative emotions anger, hatred, resentment, uneasiness lift from my heart leaving me elated in her presence.
"Mama… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry… I'm sorry" She hugged me back and continued to apologize over and over again full of regret on her actions.
With that I removed my hug and look at her with eyes in ease
"If you're truly sorry then promise me…
That you won't leave my sight again, that you'll never disappear from my side without good reason. Promise me this"
"I do. I promise" We held our hands together as a sign to uphold our promise
Nyaa… Nyaa
We turned our head around to see a larger white cat calling.
"It's her parent" Rumi exclaimed
Nya. Nya. The little kitten meowed at the sight of the adult cat. It sprinted quickly in its direction. Once they meet their eyes close as their heads rub with one another. They both purred ecstatic in their meeting.
Beneath the last vestiges of daylight are parents that reunited with their loved ones. I held Rumi's hand as we watch the spectacle unfold. The cats looked at us in what I want to believe to be an act of gratitude. We smiled in reply. With that they scurried along back to their residence in turn we did the same and went on our way back home.
I laid a feast for both of us to enjoy. Rumi looks at the table in question due to it being more extravagant than our usual dinner.
"Go on and eat, I prepared all of this for my little hero"
"Aren't we being a little to excessive here… besides I didn't do anything heroic really I just thought that it was the right thing to do" She looked away with a slight blush on her cheeks
"Don't be shy you don't want all this to go to waste now do you"
"Well… It's just that I also caused you trouble so I feel that it's unfair to be rewarded like this"
"There's no need to still be burdened with that, I already forgave you"
She continued to look down on her knees. Despite my constant attempts to cheer her up she was still hesitant to accept my little celebration for her.
"Okay, Listen Rumi how about this, since you made a promise to me how about I make a promise to you too"
"A promise?" She looked at me curiously
"I promise to always strive to be a better mother for you"
"Eh? But you're already my mother that I'm proud of"
I shook my head in disagreement
"I'm inexperienced, I can be indifferent to what others feel especially yours, I might not be able to give you want you need, and along the way I might fall down, but despite all this I want to strive harder and be a better mother.
Will you accept my promise?"
"Okay, I accept your promise to be the best mother that no one ever was"
"Best? I feel like you're misinterpreting me. You make it sound like this is a competition"
"Nope, you promised there's no turning back now or are you giving excuses already?"
We both giggled at how the conversation went.
Are you doing this out of duty? I thought of his words once again from our conversation this morning. I answered poorly. This is more than a mere duty. This is not like any request we received in the service club. I was naïve but now I see it in a new light. I now understand how great the responsibility is.
To be a mother is more than just looking after a child, more than just socializing with them. It takes both a strong mind and heart to raise one. To have the strength to continue forward no matter the burden, to be a good role model as a figure to look up to, to be the light when one loses its way.
I'm willing to learn and achieve all these qualities to step in the role as this little angel's mother.
Author Notes:
Phew an extra long chapter that could have been split to two but I decided to make it whole to complete the experience.
Inspiration
Wolf Children: An anime movie about challenges of being a single mother raising her children which are part wolf in a difficult world.
Freedom is an allure for anime's common audience, teenagers. With this comes the common reason why most parental figures are usually not present or have less important roles with the Main character. This is most notable in the action, adventure, fantasy, and romance genre of anime.
Wolf children manage to be a unique anime movie experience which showed me the responsibility and the difficulty it takes to take on a role of being a parent in raising children. This is right up there with studio Ghibli movies. As a teenager back then I was not one bit interested with this but now as I young adult I finally relate to its charm and how amazing this movie was in portraying a mother's struggle. This is one of the core inspirations of this fanfic and also heavily influenced the 2nd act of this chapter.
Q&A
To everyone concerned about the situation regarding Rumi's parents, why aren't they informing the authorities about Rumi, etc. I'm sorry but I can't give a reason without spoiling so I can only leave something vague to satisfy your concerns a little. Here it goes:
I'm aware of the elephant in the room. What everyone else is not aware of is why I'm not addressing it yet.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did, leave a comment to let me know how you feel, constructive criticism is always welcome. Till next time
References
[1] The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
