Hey! I just want to thank everybody for reviewing. I wanted to throw an update out here because I don't know the next time I'll be able to. The anniversary of the death of my mother is coming up again so it's about to be really hard. But I promise I'll try to update as soon as possible.

Oh also Trigger warning for rape. I'm really sorry guys. It's pretty early and Italicized so if you need to skip please do so.


"O how he loves you, darling boy. O how, like always, he invents the monsters underneath the bed to get you to sleep next to him, chest to chest or chest to back, the covers drawn around you in the act of faith against the night." - You are Jeff, Richard Siken

Her name is Ms. Kraska and she's everything she thinks a mother should be. Warm, grey haired, a smile that takes the shake out of Bella's hands.

Her office is the same; safe, a muted blue, but warm. The noise machine made her eyes droop, she struggles to not fall asleep.

"Hello, Isabella," Ms. Kraska smiles, adjusts her glasses, and curls her legs under her chair.

"Bella, please."

It's a tuesday. She had pleaded with Charlie to not make her go. He stood resolute, completely unwavering. "This is what you need. It's my fault I didn't get you to talk to someone sooner."

"Dad, I'm so sorry. But I promise I won't do it again."

"Well, this is going to help with that then won't it?"

"I apologize, Bella." Ms. Kraska smiles again, this time shuffling papers around, scribbling some notes down.

"Please don't be scared, Bella. Nothing is wrong with you - people just need help sometimes. I'm glad you're here, and I look forward to working with you." Ms. Kraska pauses, sighs. "Now, can you tell me why you're here?"

A tear rolls down Bella's face, and it stings like poison.

"I'd be better off dead."

She's screaming, windows rattling, blood fills her mouth and she's-

She's with Edward, hands tangled in his hair.

"I love you ," He whispered. "I do." and then he

He hollowed her out, teeth biting into her.

"Edward stop please." He doesn't, he doesn't.

"Edward please, please, don't do this I love you. Please, please stop."

He doesn't. He doesn't.

"You want this, Bella."

She screams, remembering how he violated her, humiliated her.

Remembers how she loved him and then an hour later threw up every time she saw him.

"Hush, hush, stop crying it's supposed to hurt the first time."

"Hush, hush, Bella. I love you. I showed you."

"Hush, hush, I didn't kill you, I kept my control, hush, hush."

"Hush, hush, don't tell anybody, hush, hush."

She's screaming and there's a fist size hole in the wall, blood spills down her chin.

She screams until there's nothing left. Screams until war is tangled in her hair, until fear drips off her teeth, screams until her vision blacks, screams until the floor meets the back of her head.

She wakes up in her bed. Sees a figure near her bookcase.

"Leave," she hisses. "Get the fuck out of here."

His face floods with surprise. "My love, it's just me."

"I know," Her jaw sets, teeth snapping against each other. "And I told you to fucking leave."

He shifts on his feet.

"Right the fuck of now before I get Charlie in here and tell him all about how fucking wonderful my boyfriend is and how he visits me while I'm sleeping!" She yells the last part in a scathing whisper.

He's gone before she blinks.

"Nobody deserves to die, Bella." Tears fill Ms. Kraska's eyes and Bella's left wondering what happened to her.

"I do."

It's Wednesday. The air tastes like a million years, feels like everything is much older. The school looks like tiles of wet blood, and stands out scarily against the grey backdrop. It looks like an omen.

She spots them against the backdrop. Dark hair and dark clothes. They, too, look dangerous.

She puts her truck in park, holding her breath against the flume of exhaust.

No sooner than she steps out, they are surrounding her, eyes watchful, movements too careful.

All except for one.

"Bella! Bella! I'm back!" His eyes are gold and jovial, strong arms coming to wrap around her.

A bitter taste fills her mouth as she looks at him.

"Hello."

The smile on his face slowly falls. And that hurts worse than anything she's ever done. It's not his fault.

"Sorry, buddy, I'm just really tired." She amends with a smile. "I didn't sleep well last night. Edward and I fought."

"Is that why he's not here today?" Alice asks, coming up to Bella for her turn to hug her.

"Good riddance," Rosalie huffs.

Bella makes the mistake of making eye contact with her. She's wearing a v-neck that makes Bella's knees wobble.

Rosalie makes eye contact, smiles. Bella's heart skips a beat. "Good morning, Bella."

She sputters for a few moments. "Good morning, Rose."

Rosalie reaches for her hip. "Ready to go in?"

Bella trips the moment her hands come into contact with the sliver of skin exposed from Bella's shirt.

Rosalie laughs, and it's like hearing the sun talk. "Oh my goofy girl, what ever shall we do with you?"

Rosalie and Bella sit so close together that Bella comments on the blue ring surrounding Rosalie's pupil.

"Yeah, Carlisle doesn't have any theories about it. Other than it's the one gene that the venom hasn't been able to penetrate." She shifts her chair a little. "But actually that was Esme's suggestion."

"Oh, wow, really?"

Rosalie nods and adds some shading onto her subject. "Esme really does like to help Carlisle with his vampiristic theories. She claims she doesn't do much to help but actually she was the one who figured out how we got our so called powers."

"Esme is very smart."

Rosalie nods, "she is, she just doesn't give herself enough credit."

Bella looks down at what Rosalie has been drawing.

What she sees takes her breath away.

It's her, concentrated on a book.

Rosalie sees her looking, shrugs. "He said to draw something of interest." Rosalie leans very close, mouth touching her ear. Bella's hands clench around the fabric of Rosalie's shirt. "And I find you very interesting."

She leans back, smirking, obviously privy to how breathless Bella is.

Bella watches her hips, the swing of her long hair as she walks away.

Rosalie walks her to class, making Bella laugh the hardest she has in a long time. She's never seen Rose so free before, waving her hands about, apologizing with a giggle on her tongue as she almost beheads a student who desperately tried her avoid her swinging limbs.

"Oh God! I am so sorry!"

Bella nearly falls on her ass crying and laughing at the same time.

She's happy. An old feeling coming to light again. Rosalie's smiling face fills her vision, and she's never felt so complete.