"Sakura! Sakura! Hey Sakura, wake up!" She tried focusing her eyes. Static was flashing under her eyelids every time she blinked. "Sakura!" She finally managed to see, not only to look. Instead of Naruto though, to her utmost surprise she saw Kakashi in front of her. Kakashi, bloodied, dirty and exhausted, kneeled in front of her, while she was half lying on the ground, wrapped in some disgusting… Oh gods, what was going on! They were on the forest path, going back to Konoha for that celebration in Ichiraku! Why was she back on the battlefield?! She struggled to get rid of what was binding her, it was gross and sticking to her skin and how could it even be – she had woken up from Tsukuyomi already once, came back to the village… Why is it happening again? The wrappings wouldn't come off, she struggled in panic, but her hands were still bound.
"Sakura, I need your help." Kakashi was cutting the bandages methodically with the kunai. "I know you're exhausted, but you need to stand up and come with me. Now."
She swayed on shaking legs, grabbed on Kakashi's shoulder for support. "Kakashi-sensei, I don't understand, what's going on?"
"You were caught in Tsukuyomi, like everyone else." He wound his arm around her waist and made her run. She didn't have enough energy for this, but Kakashi was relentless. "Only Naruto, Sasuke, Obito and I myself were spared. We fought a new enemy and after we defeated her, Sasuke challenged Naruto. He spoke some nonsense about becoming a Hokage that the entire world will hate. Then they went off, and I was too exhausted to follow. The Tsukuyomi released some time later, but judging from the size of the explosion that followed… I will be of no help there. You maybe still can save them."
Sakura finally understood something – she needed to go and help her boys. She held to this thought, pushing all other ones into the corners of her mind, even as everything in her head was screaming at her: "This is all wrong! It happened already! And no one got hurt!"
She was not prepared for what she saw minutes later in the Valley of the End. In hindsight, she came to thank her drilled-in medic instincts that pushed her to do the necessary. She managed to switch off the consciousness and proceed with life-saving treatment.
Konoha had been spared the worse; Sakura knew she should be grateful for that. The village did not receive a direct hit from any of the Juubi blasts. The earthquakes that followed the blasts laid many houses down, especially newer ones, made from bricks. A landslide claimed western part of the village and some fires broke in the central part, but otherwise Konoha stood. Its economy was ruined though, just as the economy of all the Elemental countries. Sakura was never aware how much depended on economy. Stupid of her, being Hokage apprentice she should be more lucid. Now, she was internalizing that knowledge the hard way. Everything was missing. Food was scarce; water supply was very limited, because there were no resources to repair the supply system There were no construction materials to rebuild the damaged houses so people were nesting in overcrowded remaining ones. About the medicines she could as well forget. About the hospital personnel as well, because the medical point that housed most of Konoha's medics received a direct hit on the last day of the war. Sakura would weep bitterly after all her friends and co-workers if she ever had time to do it. She was working double shifts, and after work she, along with all the remaining medics, had strict orders to do nothing else but sleep, in order to maximize chakra recovery. Still, there was never enough chakra to treat the patients and she had to resort to the most basic medical procedures. Amputations were commonplace now, as chakra had to be saved for the operations inside the body cavity. It was as gruesome as it could be, and thankfully it was all so much too much that Sakura stopped realizing. She went through her days, and she dutifully slept and never ever had time to think. She was grateful for that, because on the rare occasions she did think, she was only ending up crying her eyes out. She cried for her fallen comrades, she cried for herself doubting how long she would manage to bear the strain, and more than often she cried after the vision she dreamt inside the Tsukuyomi. She couldn't help feeling robbed.
When after three months the most acute crisis had been overcome and she was released from emergency duty, she realized she hadn't seen Naruto for much too long. Sasuke was still in jail, she was devastated that she managed to visit him only once and only very briefly, together with the rest of the Konoha 11. She rushed to see him, her heart fluttering in anticipation. Even if everything was so hard, it was now their chance. They can start building now, even on those ashes. In the Tsukuyomi, it worked so well between them. Well, in Tsukuyomi Sasuke didn't announce a world-domination plan and was not sitting in prison for months… But she refused to be discouraged by that.
Visiting Sasuke proved to be a huge disappointment. He wouldn't speak to her as she attempted filling the empty space between them with her chatter. She tried talking about how things were progressing in the village – when he didn't answer she assumed it must be impossibly unnerving for a prisoner to hear about the outside. She spoke about her work – he didn't seem interested. She asked about the prospects of his release – he either didn't know or was no inclined to tell her the details. After half an hour she went out and headed towards the river. There she cried and in vain tried thinking about what should she do differently. How should she behave to push the future into the rails she saw in the Tsukuyomi. There, she was just herself, she didn't have to think how she to behave around him. And he liked her the way she was. Here, it was not really working.
She kept visiting him in the prison regularly. She brought him home-cooked food. Brought him books. Was always cheerful, and never, ever made a sign of disappointment or demand.
When he was released she, together with Naruto, organized a celebration. They had a whole room cooked in the barbecue restaurant and went dancing after the meal. Everyone was having fun, she assumed Sasuke as well, in his own way (that included not talking much and definitely not dancing), but that didn't make him any better inclined towards her.
Next weeks they were going to Ichiraku regularly and meeting on the training grounds. It was amicable enough, but Sasuke never gave impression that he wanted to shorten the distance between them.
One evening when they left Ichiraku, Naruto climbed the heights of his social skills and scrammed, leaving her and Sasuke together alone. The wave of excitement rose inside her, making her not feel the chill of the evening. She was so sure that it would be THE moment when things would start falling onto the right track, that it would be this evening when he walks her home, but instead he muttered "Bye" and went his own way. She stood in the middle of empty street, staring at his back until he disappeared round the corner because she just couldn't believe.
When he was leaving for what was announced as "journey of redemption" (honestly, Sakura still did not believe Tsunade-sama allowed something like that) she came to the gates harbouring the strongest conviction ever. Despite all the eyes being on her she approached him and asked the permission to join. She played va bank, in the end he valued courage and ballsiness, she knew it. But then he just turned her down. And to add insult to injury, he poked her forehead. She was always self-conscious about the size of her forehead, and he knew it. On top of that, such a gesture should be reserved for a child – here he was pushing her down to the role of nosy brat, trying to tag along, when all she wanted was him to see her as a companion. It stung horribly, colour rose to her cheeks out of embarrassment and anger. At least she managed to control herself enough not to make a further scene in front of everyone. At home the entire content of her bookshelf flew against the wall.
The time when Sasuke was away she spent as usual – working. Wherever she went in her free time, she kept having flashbacks to the Tsukuyomi. She started avoiding the walkway along the river and her favourite path in the forest. That left her with significantly fewer places to go, so she mostly sat at home. But there was no way in the world for her to avoid the road from hospital to her apartment. Every evening she was forced to remember how it was when he was accompanying her, asking about her day.
As she couldn't ban those images from her head, she resolved to make them into the source of motivation. "That's how things will look if it works. When it works." she thought.
She made a point out of writing him regularly, keeping him up to date with the village matters. She kept the tone of her letters cheery, each time attempted to write about something he would find interesting and intentionally avoided describing how she felt. His responses were scarce, short, and - if she wouldn't be consciously diverting such thoughts – she would find them forced. Sometimes he wouldn't respond at all, and she would then rack her brain about how long should she wait before writing another letter not to be obtrusive.
She tried catching more up with her friends only to find out that they all became very busy with their lives. Ino was dating Sai and could spend hours talking about him. Not that Ino wasn't doing "talking-about-guys-for-hours-thing" before, but now Sakura found it hard to stomach. Naruto finally noticed Hinata's live-long affection and was head over heels about it. He kept planning dates, second guessing himself and making one comical blunder after another. Under other circumstances Sakura would be more that happy to help him out (and get some free entertainment on his cost along the way) but she didn't have much heart for it now.
A year or so later, he returned. Only for a short while, he immediately announced during their first ramen-supper. Nevertheless Sakura's hopes spiked sky-high. Next days, she felt as if her chest was filled with something lighter than air. It felt as if in the same time she was floating and fighting to draw a breath.
She caught herself at the window of the staircase of the hospital more often than she wanted. Starting from 3 pm she would course the stairs up and down under every pretext to steal the glimpse on the tree and the plaza. Of course, he was never there. Not even one single time. She picked at the flaking lacquer of the window frame in annoyance. After two weeks of Sasuke's stay the lacquer was all gone, and janitor had it re-painted. After that, she picked on her fingernails until they bled.
Not that she wasn't seeing Sasuke around those days. They've been meeting in Ichiraku regularly, as Naruto kept dragging Sasuke there after their trainings. He also did most of the talking. Admittedly, Sasuke sometimes told something about his journeys, but it was all very impersonal, as if he was constantly on his guard. Sakura wondered how he behaved with only Naruto around, during their sparring sessions. During one of such evenings, Naruto realized he was supposed to meet Hinata and rushed out. They finished eating in silence, as Sakura had no energy for supporting the small talk anymore. When they left, she gathered her resolve. She needed to come clear about it; that airy feeling inside her chest stopped resembling excitement long time ago. Now it felt like dread.
"You know Sasuke-kun… I was wondering… Have you thought about coming back for good?" No answer. Typical. "Wouldn't you want to spend more time with us?" Her voice faltered. Calling check was not that easy. "With me, for example?"
He gave her an incredulous look, as if he didn't understand the question. It was up to her still, then. "You see, I've been missing you a lot…"
"I'm not planning to come back any soon." Was all that he said.
"But someday you will, won't you?"
"Why is it so important for you?"
Sakura wanted to stomp and scream. She didn't. Instead she acted as docile as she always did around him. "What I said when we were younger, you know it is still valid, don't you? I know that it is all distant future, and you cannot say anything for sure, but I was hoping…"
"I thought I never gave you any reasons for hoping."
Sakura bit her lip. He never did. What would be the good answer here? "Sometimes hope doesn't need reasons…"
He looked at her with complete lack of understanding and turned. "Go home Sakura. It's late."
It wasn't late at all. But it was cold and it started to pour when she was three block away from her house. The rain caught her because she was so slow walking for all the crying she did.
Sakura was just going down the stairs to the meet up point where they were supposed to say goodbye to Sasuke when she almost bumped into Naruto climbing up the opposite direction. His expression told her clearly that something was off.
"Naruto? Why are you doing here? We're supposed to go to see Sasuke off…"
"We don't have to..."
"What do you mean?"
"Ano… He left already. In the morning, just after sunrise."
Sakura's stomach flipped. She was awake at sunrise, it was such a beautiful dawn, she was leaning through in the open window and thinking how first rays of sun were giving her strength for that goodbye. How she would show herself from her best side – strong and cheerful and supportive. And now she was robbed even of this.
"Why?" She managed.
Naruto fidgeted.
"Naruto. You are telling it now, or.."
"He didn't want to upset you with the goodbye…" offered Naruto uncertainly.
"Is this what he said…?" She whispered, feeling like hit with a sledgehammer. Disappointment was fighting a tiny spark of hope that in the end he only wanted to spare her feelings. Going all wrong about it, but still. But Naruto's dogged expression raised back her suspicion. "What exactly did he say?"
"No… He said, that you will make a scene again."
Whatever tender feelings she harboured seconds ago, were gone. "Again?! I've never made a scene in front of him!" Sakura screamed in indignation. "Never!" Naruto recoiled as she punched the wall next to him. "I don't make scenes!"
