Chapter Eleven: Aftermath
The betrayal hurt.
Clarke most often carried herself in a manner of strength and authority; sometimes people wondered if she even had feelings, but the truth was that she had become an expert at steeling away her emotions ever since her parents got divorced so many years ago. It broke her. And Clarke refused to let herself feel that way ever again.
Unfortunately, she made the horrible mistake of developing feelings for her best friend, Wells. He'd always been cute, but slowly and steadily, Clarke found herself becoming more attracted to the way he smelled like fresh laundry and how he sounded when he excitedly explained the latest science developments, no matter how boring she thought it was. And then one day, he broke her heart and Clarke had to steel away her emotions again.
She had even promised herself that she wasn't going to bother with boys, at least not until she had finished her schooling. Clearly they were a distraction. But then Finn Collins, the mysterious guy with rugged good looks, swept her up off her feet. He was smart, funny, and kept Clarke on her toes. All in all, he had been perfect.
Almost perfect. Now she was subjected to another broken heart. If she wasn't careful, she might not have one to even break anymore. A shattered heap of miscellaneous emotions would just be sitting her chest like a junkyard. At this point Clarke was ready to swear off love; it was a messy business that only seemed to screw her over.
Normally, Clarke would treat Finn's blow to her heart as any other one—she'd hole away her anger and sadness and use it as her driving force to accomplish some sort of objective. But this struck something deep inside of Clarke. She'd felt certain that Finn was something special.
Too bad it took another crack at her heart for her to realize that Finn was just another guy who wasn't worth her affection.
Upon returning home, Clarke ignored about three dozen texts from Finn as well as four phone calls. She tried keeping busy with homework, but finished early leaving her with nothing to do but listen to the constant dinging of her phone as it lit up with another text or voicemail. His efforts dimmed around midnight, but at least one new message appeared every half-hour.
Clarke tried to sleep, but her mind kept drifting; what was she going to do when she saw him now? What about Raven? Wasn't she supposed to be starting at West Arke on Monday? Who was she supposed to go with to Homecoming now? Not Finn, certainly not Wells!
Her thoughts momentarily drifted to Bellamy as she watched the ceiling. Jasper may have been her initial hope to pick her up, but why had Bellamy been her first choice afterward? It's not like they were friends. Why hadn't she called up Harper? Or Fox? Or even Monroe? Bellamy of all people!
Eventually Clarke had enough of her inner worries and tried clearing her mind. She felt herself relaxing for a little while, but couldn't quite fall asleep. Around two in the morning, she decided to grab a snack from the pantry. On her way down the hall, she heard muffled gunfire coming from Jasper's room.
Easing the door open, she saw her brother curled up in a teal blanket while he played Ps4. "You're still up? It's two."
"You're up too," he pointed out without looking away from the screen. Clarke sat down on the bed beside Jasper and leaned her head against his shoulder. "A thousand thoughts at once?" His voice was soft, almost soothing, reminding Clarke of another reason why she loved him so much.
"Maybe closer to a million."
"That's rough."
"Yeah."
Jasper shot two rounds and a character on an opposing rooftop fell over the side. "You came home from your date with Finn early. Wanna tell me what happened?"
Clarke tensed slightly. "Nothing happened."
Jasper paused his game, turning to look at her square in the eye. His lips didn't have the beginning of a smile the way he normally did. "Clarke, we both know you're a horrible liar."
Clarke scoffed half-heartedly. "I am not a horrible liar."
Jasper frowned, apparently having his point been proved. "I've known you for years, Clarke. I know when you're lying."
"Okay, fine." She fell backwards onto Jasper's comforter. "Turns out...Finn has a girlfriend."
"Yeah," Jasper replied slowly, "you, right?" He said it as a statement with an unsure undertone. His eyebrows furrowed gently.
Clarke chuckled bitterly. "Not me."
Anger flashed across Jasper's features. "You mean he was cheating on you?"
"I mean he was cheating on his girlfriend with me."
Clarke hadn't seen Jasper this mad since Wells refused to leave their yard. He had wanted to apologize for the unkept time, but wouldn't get off their front porch until Clarke came out to talk to him. After a while, Jasper stormed out of the house and told him to get lost. She still hadn't forgotten the animosity in his eyes from that day. It almost scared her that her cinammon roll of a brother could be capable of such anger.
"So how has he been able to juggle her and you?"
"I guess she moved to Maine last year. He told me that they never officially broke up but he never expected to hear from her again."
Jasper laid down on his back so that they were staring at the ceiling together. "Thats bullshit. I hope you know that."
"Yeah. I know. I wish I didn't, but I do."
"It's better to know than to get played."
"I know," she responded quietly.
They laid together in the dim glow of Jasper's Christmas lights for a few minutes. The only sound in the still house was low hum of the fish tank in the corner of the room. "Me and Monty could take him," Jasper offered after Clarke had assumed he had fallen asleep.
She grinned softly. "That's nice, but not necessary."
"I think it is. You're worth too much to let some pond scum like him treat you like that."
"Jasper?"
Jasper hesitated a moment. "Yeah?"
"How did I get so lucky to have you for a brother?"
Jasper slipped his hand into Clarke's and a flower of warmth bloomed in her chest. "I am pretty awesome, I will concede, but I think I'm the lucky one to have you as my sister."
Turning on her side, Clarke nuzzled up to Jasper's shoulder. "I'm sorry for disturbing your game."
"Don't sweat it. This was more important anyway." Jasper pursed his lips. "But if Finn crosses me at the wrong time, I am going to punch his lights out."
…
The next morning, Clarke indulged herself in a luxury she hadn't had since the time she didn't want to give a presentation in the fifth grade—she played sick.
Originally she wasn't going to submit to the enticing prospect of sleeping in; it's not like she hadn't pulled all nighters and gone to school the next day before. But she didn't want to face a new day knowing she had to see Finn and deal with his apologies. Clarke may not have been one to hide from her problems, but she had no problem with postponing them an extra day.
She woke up in Jasper's room after having fallen asleep around two thirty, according to Jasper. Before his alarm had gone off, she had crept down stairs where her mother and Marcus were already up and about.
"Mom," Clarke mumbled pathetically, dragging her feet across the wood floor. Abby looked up from her Kindle and Marcus directed his attention on her as well. "I don't feel so good."
"Oh, honey," Abby hurried over to inspect her daughter.
Clarke had expected as much—kids who had doctors for parents tended to lose out on the opportunity of playing sick because they were busted before they could even hope to stay home. Abby studied Clarke skeptically.
This is it, Clarke thought. She shouldn't have even bothered to try. It was only nearing the beginning of October—she never got sick this early on in the year!
Abby pressed her palm to Clarke's forehead. "You do feel warm," she muttered. Clarke noted the understanding in her mother's eyes. Clarke very well knew that her mom knew that Clarke was perfectly healthy. And yet, she was agreeing to play along. "I'll call you in. Go back up to bed."
"Thanks, Mom." Clarke nodded at Marcus before taking off for the stairs, never slowing her pace from a fast walk until she was submerged in her maroon bed sheets.
When she woke up the second time, it was eight o'clock and the house was unusually silent. Jasper would be almost finished with his first hour, her mom would have left for the hospital around seven thirty, and Marcus would be at his office by now. A quick trip to the kitchen revealed a note from her mom telling her she hoped that Clarke felt better and that there were waffles in the fridge for breakfast if she wanted any.
She wolfed down a bowl of cereal (she never did eat the night before), and then went back upstairs to take advantage of her day off and rest. The next time Clarke woke up, it was close to noon. She resolved to eating leftover pasta from the night before, but a knock at the door startled her.
She wasn't going to open the door, but the relentless pounding became persistent. Then her phone buzzed.
12:06pm
Are you going to open the door or what princess?
Bellamy
What was Bellamy doing here? she thought as she opened the door.
Bellamy stood on her porch dressed in ripped jeans, a black t-shirt, and grey converse high-tops. His dark curls were more disheveled than normal. In one hand he had a take-out bag and in the other he had his phone. "Hey," he said as he shoved his phone into his back pocket.
Clarke pursed her lips. It looked like he had just gone out for lunch and decided to make a quick stop by. "What are you doing here?"
Bellamy looked taken back. "To see how you were doing?" It came out as more of a question, though Clarke suspected he had meant for it to sound more like a statement.
Clarke glanced at the door frame and then back up at Bellamy. Against her better judgement, she heard herself saying, "You can come in if you want." She stepped to the side and Bellamy nodded at her as he followed her inside.
"I brought you some lunch." He held out the bag to her.
She accepted the bag and found a wave of loose French Fries as well as a hamburger inside. She popped a French Fry into her mouth, motioning for Bellamy to join her as she slid into a chair at the kitchen island. "Your lunch hour is going to be over soon," she pointed out.
Bellamy shrugged, reaching into the bag and taking a French Fry for himself. "My next class can wait."
"What's your next class?"
"Statistics."
Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. "That's probably not the best class to skip."
"Not the most ideal," he agreed, "but I wanted to make sure the princess had something to eat while she was at home. That and Finn wouldn't leave me alone. I guess he saw us leaving the restaurant last night and he was just buggin' with stupid questions."
"Well that's super." Clarke rolled her eyes. Of course Finn would have noticed them. And not only that, but he felt that it was his business to know what was going on! Somewhere, deep inside her stomach, Clarke felt satisfaction in knowing that Finn was jealous.
Bellamy ate another fry. He reached for another one, and Clarke swatted at his hand. "Whoa," he chuckled, faking annoyance, "who brought you those, again?"
"Exactly," Clarke smirked, "you brought them as a gift to me. Technically I don't have to share." Regardless, she allowed him to peck at her food yet. "You know, while we're here, we might as well try to come up with a game plan for getting people to sign up for the Quiz Bowl. So far, the flyers haven't worked."
Bellamy chuckled incredulously. "What?" Clarke demanded.
Bellamy shrugged, the slight frown he always seemed to be wearing spreading across his lips. "Do you ever relax, Princess?"
Clarke regarded him shrewdly. "What do you think I've been doing all day?"
He shrugged again. "Nice pajamas by the way."
Clarke looked down at her pink silk pants and West Arke soccer team shirt she adopted from Jasper. Instead of letting herself be embarrassed the way she knew he wanted her to feel, she fixed him with a withering look. "My God, Bellamy."
He shrugged again with a small smile that she wanted to slap off of his face. "Why do we have to be the only ones coming up with stuff? We're not the only people in student council."
"I know," she conceded, "but we're in charge. Like it or not, they look up to us and we have to set the example."
"You set the example pretty well by yourself." Bellamy raised a French Fry to his lips, halted midway, then set it back down. Looking down he mumbled, "It might even be better if I just stepped down and let you be president by yourself."
Clarke watched him closely. Something seemed really off about all of this—Bellamy being nice? Bellamy wanting to let her be president out of his own free will? "What's wrong with you right now?"
Bellamy's head shot up and his eyes narrowed dangerously. Clarke felt kind of bad for offending him, but something was seriously weird. "Excuse me?"
Clarke upturned her nose slightly. Maybe if she got under his skin, then he'd go back to being the normal Bellamy she had at least learned to understand. "It's been your goal to be student council president since freshman year! You're being nice to me!? This all so off!"
Bellamy glared at her intensely. For a minute, Clarke was afraid that he was going to snap at her, but he exhaled deeply and then stood up. "Nevermind. You're right. I shouldn't have come over."
Scrunching her eyebrows, Clarke jogged after Bellamy as he made a beeline towards the door. "Wait!" she said, "that's not what I meant!"
"I just felt bad," he admitted, standing halfway through the threshold. "I know it's been tough with Wells. I heard about the shit with your dad. Now Finn. I just figured you didn't need any more bullshit on your plate right now. But I should've known that that would've just messed you up more." He shuffled down the walkway towards his car.
Clarke watched him leave. She watched him climb into his car and drive away. She had been tempted to call after him, tell him that she appreciated his sincerity.
But she didn't. Instead, she watched him drive away.
...
please review! they make me happy! and increases writer motivation *wink*)
3/7/16
