Chapter Nineteen: Sex, Baby.
Octavia groaned against his mouth, grasping at his face with her hands.
He tasted like sweat and Gatorade from after their workout and his body was warm pressed up against hers. Everything about him made her heart hammer in her chest and her adrenaline levels spike. She loved the feeling of being with him whether they were holding hands or he had her pushed up against a wall with his tongue in her mouth.
She had to admit that, if given the chance, she would choose the second option every time.
"Lincoln," she gasped when his kisses trailed from her mouth down her jawline and neck. She hugged herself around his upper torso harder.
He had her pinned against his bed, the messy blankets uncomfortable against her back, but it was barely an issue as he caressed her sides tenderly but desperately. "How are you so beautiful?" he murmured before hungrily kissing her again.
Octavia wrapped her legs around his waist, hoisting herself up off the mattress. Lincoln responded by supporting her around the lower back and flopping to the bed on his back in order to give her a turn on top. Octavia instantly attacked his mouth with hers, their tongues fighting each other for dominance.
That was one of the other things that she liked about Lincoln; he never just gave her the things she wanted.
Whether it was a match in their martial arts practices, the last cookie in the container, or who was going to be on top, he always made it a challenge. He saw her as an equal, as someone who was on his level who wasn't in need of a handicap. It was refreshing for her, especially since she came from a life highly sheltered by her brother.
Leaning back slightly, Octavia grabbed the hem of her tank-top and pulled it over her head and tossed it onto the floor in a heap. She had figured that seeing her in her lacy bra would have aroused Lincoln even more, hopefully into even taking it off himself, but instead he blinked up at her rapidly and lost his drive from a minute earlier.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, lowering her now mostly-naked self onto his bare chest. She kissed his neck, sucking the flesh roughly but he grunted like he was displeased. "C'mon, Lincoln, help me out of this thing. Unless," she sat up so that she was straddling his waist, her fingers fumbling with the latch on the back, "you want me to do it myself."
Lincoln grabbed her arms, pinning them to her sides gently. "Octavia, I don't think we should go that far."
Octavia's chest deflated. "W-what are you talking about? I thought that you—"
"—I do love you," he interrupted her. She slid off of his stomach and Lincoln sat up so that they were facing each other. "But you're also still seventeen and I don't want to take away something as precious as—"
"—I don't believe in waiting until marriage," Octavia interjected this time. "I don't care about what anybody thinks as long as I can have you."
Lincoln shook his head slightly, almost as if he was trying to explain a complex subject to a child. Reaching down, he picked up Octavia's crumpled tank-top and handed it back to her. "Listen, Octavia, you're perfectly in your right to believe what you do but I am entitled to what I believe as well. Don't get me wrong; I fully intend to have you in every way one day, but not while you're still at such a vulnerable stage in your life."
Octavia growled, shooting him daggers as she pulled her tank-top over her head. "I can't believe you. You sure as hell never seem to mind all of the touching."
Lincoln shrugged. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, he simultaneously caressed her cheek with his thumb. "What can I say? I'm not a complete stand up guy."
Octavia tried not to let her chuckle out, but a smile still managed to make it's way onto her face. "There's that smile," he said, tracing her lips with his thumb before he kissed her again.
"You're such a tease." Octavia looped her arms around his neck and he pulled her into his lap. "Also, you're really sticky and gross. You should take a shower."
Lincoln fell backwards, towing her along with him as he crashed against the bed with Octavia tucked up into his side. "Let's just...lay here for a bit."
Octavia inhaled deeply, getting another sharp intake of his musky sweat smell as well as the faded scent of AXE spray that he had put on before they had left the gym. "But we were having so much fun before."
"And you're not having fun now?"
Octavia rolled her eyes. Yeah, he definitely kept her on her toes, that's for sure. But she did have to concede that he was right.
Keeping up with him was fun.
…
"How's Jasper handling it?"
Clarke clucked her tongue loudly. "Not very well."
Finn nodded slowly as he set two 24 can soda packs into their cart. "Poor kid. And she just did it out of nowhere? I thought they were getting along," he struggled for the correct word, "swimmingly."
"I guess there were red flags," she admitted. She scrutinized her list for a second before deciding that toilet paper was the next thing on the agenda since the aisle was closest. "She didn't even show up to homecoming."
Finn's eyebrows shot up. "Really? I could've sworn I saw her in a dress standing outside their apartment building on my way to pick up—" He stopped short as he realized what name was about to tumble out of his mouth. After a brief awkward hesitation, he said, "But yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Octavia I saw standing on the curb. Looked like she was waiting for someone so I figured she was waiting for Jasper."
Clarke pretended to inspect the different toilet paper brands to avoid eye contact. "Guess she changed her mind at the last second then."
Finn was quiet, but she could feel his breath on her neck as he stared at the list over her shoulder. Clarke tried to focus on her mother's scribbled writing, but it kind of blurred together the longer she stared at it. Clarke thought she had come to terms with her feelings toward Finn, but the more she was around him the more she felt confused.
She had strictly told herself that her feelings were irrelevant given the fact that he had a girlfriend, and even then she was still hurting from the fact that he had lied to her about it. But now that Finn was officially back on the market, Clarke had been having some issues. She still really liked him and hanging out with him regularly seemed to increase those feelings, but at the same time she didn't feel like she could trust him.
And to Clarke, trust was an important factor. Ultimately, lack of trust (on top of bitterness and anger) is what led to her falling out with Wells, which was only recently starting to be patched up.
And then there was also Raven who factored into everything now. Clarke didn't care for her very much at the beginning, but in the last few weeks she had started to have a change in heart. Raven was a smart individual who proved to be a reliable asset to their team. It made Clarke wish that things could have worked out differently.
"I hope they work everything out." Finn's voice drew her out of her thoughts. It was then that she realized he had already set a case of Charmin Ultra into her cart.
Clarke shrugged, maneuvering the cart around him and back towards the dairy aisles. "I'm not so sure. Jasper has been really depressed the last few days so whatever she said to him couldn't have been good."
"You mean he hasn't told you?"
"He hasn't taken a shower in days and he only leaves his room to get ice cream." Clarke held up two half gallons of Rocky Road for emphasis before setting them in the basket as well. "Even though they weren't official," she tagged alongside Finn as he took a turn pushing the cart, "Octavia was Jasper's first girlfriend. Not to mention he had a crush on her for a long time. So for all of that to come crashing down is really taking a toll."
Finn pulled up to a checkout line. Together he and Clarke began setting items up on the conveyer belt while the other person in line finished up their purchase. "Yeah, I feel so bad for him. I guess you're kind of okay with the situation though, right?"
Clarke scrunched her eyebrows as she handed him a gallon of milk to put on the checkout table. "Why would I be okay with the situation?"
This time Finn looked confused. "Because Octavia is Bellamy's sister and you hate Bellamy? It's totally a bummer for Jasper, but you even said it yourself that you didn't want him and Octavia to be a thing."
Clarke nodded slowly, but when she didn't agree with him right away, Finn scoffed slightly with disbelief. "Don't tell me that you've changed your mind about him."
Clarke narrowed her eyes at him dangerously as she put the final item from her shopping basket onto the conveyer belt. "I trust him a lot, actually. He may come off as a douche bag at first, but once you get to know him he isn't...as repulsive as you'd originally think."
Finn combed his finger through his hair incredulously. "You can't be serious right now."
"When am I ever not serious, Finn?" She shoved past him and paid for her groceries. Between both of his arms, Finn managed to carry most of her bags which left only two for Clarke to grab. She was even a little surprised that he was helping her still since he wasn't even trying to hide his mild irritation.
"Are you going to Murphy's Halloween party next weekend?" Finn asked once the groceries were in the back and the pair of them were nestled in the two front seats. Clarke noted that his crabbiness had significantly diminished if it was even there at all still.
"Not sure," she said as he pulled out of the lot, "I usually don't associate with that crowd, but I know Harper and Fox are going since soccer season is over." She sighed, leaning her head against the window. "I don't really have time for it anyway; I have to start scheduling Quiz Bowl practices on top of regular Stu-Co meetings. And we should really set up some fundraisers too in case we tank the Quiz Bowl."
"You sound like you could use a break and have a little fun."
Clarke glanced at him, trying to deduce if he was implying they should have sex, but he wasn't even looking at her. Instead he scrambled around looking for something while they were at a red light, then popped in a CD just as the light turned green. Immediately old punk rock music that Clarke listened to when she was younger blared from the speakers. "WHat are you doing?" she yelled over Blink-182.
Finn bobbed his head back and forth, his long hair getting tangles throughout it. "You just need to loosen up."
Clarke groaned slightly as she leaned back in her seat, but she did mouth the words to most of the songs that came on throughout their drive back to her place. She couldn't remember the last time she actually listened to music in a car. She usually just listened to Game of Thrones on audio books when she drove, and that was regarding the fact that her car was still in the shop from when Jasper smashed up the windshield a few weeks back.
The CD ended just as they turned into Clarke's driveway. Both her mom and Kane's car were parked in the garage. "Thanks again for taking me out," she said, unclipping her belt.
Finn nodded. "No problem. Hey, I was wondering…" Clarke stopped fidgeting in her seat. "So if we're in agreement to not go to Murphy's party, then why don't we do something ourselves for Halloween? We could grab a pizza and watch old scary movies?"
Clarke gave him a level stare. "I don't know. This is sounding suspiciously like a date, which I want no part of."
Finn cracked a small grin. "It's not a date, Clarke. Consider it our alternate version of the traditional Halloween party."
Clarke pursed her lips, trying to find a flaw in his idea but coming up empty. As long as everything stayed platonic, she had no problem with hanging out with him. At this point, even if she wanted to date him it was just better to stay out of such a messy situation. "Fine. But only if they're classic scary movies. Actually, scratch that. Let's just binge The Munsters and Addams Family. I have them both on Blu-ray."
"Done." Finn smiled. Clarke imagined herself punching him in order to keep her emotions in check.
"Cool. So are you going to help me with these groceries or what?"
...
Raven hadn't intended to catch them out on a date.
She had actually finished up a work-out and was just going to pick up a quick bite to eat on her way home from the gym when she accidently stumbled across the two. Clarke and Finn were waiting patiently in line at a Subway. Needless to say, her night was ruined.
Raven didn't make it a habit to spy on people, but Finn had been her best friend and long time boyfriend of several years, so losing him to some blonde he met at the beginning of the school year was still enough to make her bitter about it. She vaguely remembered there talk about John Murphy having a party that night, but neither of them looked like they were dressed to go out; Clarke had on pajama pants, a sweater, and her hair was in a knot on the top of her head while Finn had on sweatpants, a hoodie, and a beanie.
The only logical explanation was a movie date.
Raven scolded herself as she stared at them from the farthest corner table in the restaurant. She probably looked like some creepy stalker! Not only that, but she shouldn't even be concerning herself with Finn anymore. After all, she was the one who called things off with him in the first place.
But yet, she couldn't take her eyes off of them. They never touched each other; never held hands, she never rested her head on his shoulder, he never pulled her into a hug. He didn't even brush their shoulders.
It was the looks that they were giving each other, however, that made Raven's heart clench. Clarke was a bit more subtle about the half glances she directed at him, but even then they were still hollow. It was like the she was looking at someone she cared about who she could never bring herself to love the same way again. In way, Raven was relieved.
Finn's looks were what really hurt though. He didn't even try to hide the longing adoration his his hazel eyes when he looked at Clarke. Whenever she spoke, she had his undivided attention until the moment she was done. Even when she wasn't talking, his eyes were always on her. It was like he couldn't get enough of her—if he looked away for even a second, there was a chance that she'd vanish into thin air.
He had never looked at Raven like that, even before Clarke came into the picture.
Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes, but it took her second to realize that they weren't tears of sadness, but tears of anger. Anger towards Clarke for being better than her. Anger towards Finn for choosing someone else over her.
Raven stormed out of the restaurant, ignoring the looks she may have gotten or the fact that Finn and Clarke may have just seen her fit. In fact, let them see for all she cared. She wasn't the cheater, the one to be blamed, in this scenario. If Finn was going to screw the princess, then Raven was going to take her knight and see how Clarke liked it.
It wasn't hard to find John Murphy's house. There were cars lined on either side of the street for a few blocks, and the house itself was practically glowing. Distasteful Halloween decorations made the front yard a bit spooky, but lights and music poured out from almost all of the windows.
Raven parked her car on an angle in the driveway, blocking off several vehicles from being able to back out. Common courtesy was a thing of the past as far as she was concerned.
Adrenaline fueled by anger was still pumping through her veins when she stepped inside the house. Everything smelled of alcohol and smoke. Some of the people she recognized from her classes, but no one that she really associated with.
"Sup, girl?" Some guy with a leprechaun hat handed her drink, then lumbered off.
Raven took a sip, tasted the liquor on her lips, then downed the whole cup before dropping it on the floor. "Out of my way," she snapped as she pushed through the crowd.
She found Murphy making out with his girlfriend Emori on the couch in the living room so intensely that it was basically sex with their clothes on. Raven grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up. "Hey!" he screamed at her in a slur.
"Where's Bellamy?" she demanded, ignoring his drunken complaints.
Murphy shrugged, his eyes bloodshot and barely focused. "I don't know? Probably the kitchen with Miller."
Raven dropped him back on top of his girlfriend and the two proceeded to tear at each other's clothes. Raven stormed toward the kitchen where she found Bellamy, Miller, and Monroe playing darts with grapes and the microwave. Two thirds of them were wasted.
"Ohhh my God," Miller laughed, hiccuping slightly, "It's that Raven?"
Raven crossed her arms, hoping that her annoyance was showing through just enough for them to know she meant business. Unfortunately, they were too drunk to even notice. "OMG," Monroe giggled, "Raaaaaaaaaven, YOU should have seen it." She hiccuped. "Harper showed up, but LEFT because she couldn't handle it."
Miller giggled along with her, resting his forehead against Monroe's shoulder. "She couldn't handle a Murphy party. Isn't that just the GREATEST?"
Bellamy rolled his eyes. "And why aren't you drunk off your ass?" Raven asked him accusingly.
"Because I'm the designated driver." Bellamy regarded her with a questioning look. "Why? What's wrong? You look upset."
Raven internalized a snort. "Yeah, I need your help with something really important. Can I talk to you somewhere where it's less loud?"
Bellamy turned to his two friends. "Are you two idiots going to be okay?"
Miller waved him off as he dropped a grape into Monroe's mouth. "We'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiine, DAD."
"Don't eat any more of those until I come back," Bellamy warned them, ignoring the dad comment. "I don't want to be responsible if one of you choke to death."
Bellamy led Raven to a hallway upstairs where there were less people. If this was going to work, she needed him in a bedroom. "So what's up?" Bellamy leaned against the railing.
Raven threw up her hands in a fluster. "I'm sorry, but I still can't hear myself think. Why the fuck are there so many people here?"
"Because it's a John Murphy party." He said it like it were obvious. "Come on."
This time he slowly eased a door open on the furthest end of the hallway. It opened up to a decent sized spare room with yellow walls, closed curtains, and dim lamp light. Perfect.
"His house is so big."
"His parents make a lot of money." Bellamy eased himself onto the bed and fixated a curious look at her. "So are you finally going to tell me what your deal is or are we going to continue this twenty questions thing?"
Raven responded by stripping down to her sports bra and underwear in one fluid motion. She ripped out her ponytail, allowing her hair to tumble in waves around her shoulders. "Is that sufficient for ya?"
Bellamy didn't react at all, which was somewhat of a disappointment. "Raven," he said warily, "what the hell are you doing?"
"Moving on." She strode up to him slowly so that his face was about the same level as her breasts were, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I've never been with anyone other than Finn before." Her anger towards him blossomed in her chest once again as she said, "Take off your clothes."
Bellamy stared at her without saying anything for a minute. "Fine," Raven reached for the hem of her bra, "I'll do—"
"Stop."
Raven dropped the edge of her bra, leaving her fully covered as well as surprised. This wasn't quite the reaction she was expecting. "What?"
Bellamy looked away from her. "I'm not really the type of guy to be comforting people when they're not in the right mind, but this is the stupidest decision you could possibly make."
Raven snarled at him violently. "And how would you know! It's my decision on what I want to do with my body!"
And she wanted to bring Clarke down to her knees while she was at it.
Bellamy walked past her to the door. "Do it out of spite if you want, but you're not doing it with me."
And that was how he left her in the room: cold, tired, naked, and full of shame.
...
4/14/17
