Chapter Twenty: Dark Days

Bellamy twirled the pen in his fingers two rotations before he lost his grip and it fell to the floor.

Only Miller and Wells had noticed, the previous even chuckling slightly, but the others present were focused on Clarke as she spoke. Bellamy considered picking it up, but that would attract more attention and it wasn't like he needed his pen.

Instead, he rested his head on top of the podium. "Do you have the location picked out?" Clarke's voice asked beside him.

Bellamy wasn't sure who the question was addressed to but Monroe's voice answered, "Yeah. The Thai place said that they'd donate twenty-percent of the bill of people who say they're representing West Arke. It'll be on November nineteenth."

Clarke jotted something down in her yellow notepad. "Good job. Today's the fifth so that gives us two weeks to get the word out about it."

"I was thinking," Sterling sat up straighter in his desk, "What if we had one of those lock-in things?"

"To raise money?" Miller shook his head. "Why would someone pay money to stay in the school longer?"

"Shh shh." Finn held his arm out to shush Miller, then nodded for Sterling to continue. "Elaborate."

"What if we had a movie showing and some games?" Sterling's voice got smaller as he continued his sentence.

"It's an idea," Clarke said with a tight smile. Bellamy grinned to himself, knowing fully well that that smile and subtle head nod was her way of saying afraid not.

Bellamy picked his head up off of the podium and glanced around the room. Wells was fighting to keep his eyes open, Sterling was twiddling his thumbs in embarrassment, and Miller was playing on his phone while Monroe leaned over his shoulder to watch. Finn looked to Clarke, waiting for her to say something.

Bellamy specifically noted that Raven had failed to show up to the impromptu meeting. In the time since the previous weekend at Murphy's house party where Raven had made a move on him, he hadn't seen her more than once. She had become elusive, but it made him wonder if she was avoiding him out of shame or embarrassment.

"I think we'll just wrap this up." Clarke closed her notepad. "We've got a fundraiser going and two Quiz Bowl practices scheduled over the next month so I feel like today's been productive enough."

"Finally." Miller slid off of the desk he had been perched on and scuttled out the door.

"Hey, wait for me!" Monroe shuffled out after him.

Bellamy wanted to leave as soon as possible; in the past, he had tended to skip stu-co meetings that had been scheduled on Fridays, let alone impromptu meetings, but Clarke had twisted his arm when she said that he had to take responsibility as president.

She had also reminded him that she didn't get her car back for another three days and that he was her and Jasper's only way home. Bellamy wasn't sure at what time along the road he had become responsible for Clarke getting home every day but for some reason it didn't bother him the same way it would have at the beginning of the year. In the end, he decided to stick around for the grueling two hour meeting that consisted of a couple dozen phone calls to ask about fundraising.

It was almost becoming alarming as to how much Bellamy was willing to sacrifice for her.

Bellamy crouched down to pick up his pen, but as he fumbled around on the floor he heard Finn's voice from on the other side of the podium. "Did you need a ride home, Clarke?" Finn asked.

Bellamy's nose reflexively scrunched up at the thought of Clarke going home with Finn; then he realized how ridiculous he was being. He justified the reaction by the fact that she had already asked him to take her home today and it would have been a waste of his time if she left with Finn...yeah that had to be it.

Bellamy stood up, slipping the pen behind his ear which tickled his hairline slightly. Clarke hugged her elbows, but her eyes held that no-nonsense look. "No thanks," she said, "my brother and I are going home with Bellamy."

Finn's eyes shifted from Clarke's eye to over her shoulders at Bellamy. Bellamy smirked and stuck the tip of his tongue out knowing perfectly well how juvenile he was being. Finn's focus instantly snapped back to Clarke, only making Bellamy feel more smug. "Are you sure?" Finn asked, his voice in more of a hush this time. "'Cause I have enough room in my car for Jasper to fit too."

Bellamy almost scoffed. He wasn't sure who Finn thought he was fooling, but he was doing a pretty unconvincing job.

Clarke pulled the strap of her messenger bag further up her shoulder. "Yes, I'm sure. I'll you later sometime."

Finn shuffled in a way that made it obvious that he wanted a hug, but Clarke whirled around on her heel and stepped towards Bellamy without so much as a second glance at him. Bellamy pushed himself up from his leaning position against the podium. "I almost thought you were going to pass me up for Spacewalker over there," he commented.

Clarke's cheeks tinted slightly, but she held her composure. "It would never work," she muttered, ushering him to walk with her. "Besides, I'm over him anyway."

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Are you sure about that, Princess?"

Clarke groaned loudly, catching him off guard. "Are we really back to that pet name?"

Bellamy smirked good naturedly. She punched him in the arm hard enough that it would probably bruise. "Ow! Okay, I'm sorry, Clarke."

Clarke turned her face away from him, but Bellamy saw the smile she was trying to hid from him. He didn't say anything about it though. He liked it when they were civil with each other and he was afraid if he hassled her, then she'd get cross and wouldn't talk to him. His phone vibrating in his pocket brought his attention away from the blonde beside him.

"Jasper is in the gym," Clarke said as they rounded a corner that would take them straight out to the senior parking lot. "We should probably go get him real quick since he hasn't answered any of my texts."

"We may have a problem." Bellamy held up his phone for Clarke to see the text message he had just received.

"Octavia?" The queasiness was written all over her face.

"She missed her bus and her friend is in traffic and can't pick her up." Bellamy shoved his phone into his back pocket, almost wishing that Clarke and Jasper had gone with Finn after all. "This is going to be one fucking awkward car ride."

"Where's Bellamy?"

The question rolled off of Jasper's tongue the moment he realized Bellamy wasn't with his sister when she entered the gym. He wasn't sure why he was so curious; in fact, he really wasn't that interested, but the words had still formed on his tongue. Maybe it should be a relief that he had take some subconscious interest since nothing seemed to catch his attention these days.

Clarke must of caught it too, because her eyes lit up a bit. She must think that something was wrong with him. "He's um, out by the car, Jasper."

Something about the way she said his name at the end made him uncomfortable. Obviously she was keeping something from him, but Jasper couldn't even bring himself to care at this point. The world was just a brewing cesspool of disappointment and it was easier to wallow in it than climb out of the pit only to be pulled back down. Each time he fell back into the pool, the harder he hit the ground and the more bones he broke.

Clarke picked up his discarded sweatshirt that was resting by the door from where he tossed it there earlier. "You wanna put that basketball away while I grab your bag? I don't want to keep Bellamy waiting."

"Whatever."

Jasper dribbled the ball half-heartedly on the way to the utility closet and then chucked the ball into the room for it to land randomly wherever it wishes. Putting it away was too much of a hassle and pointless since someone was just going to come by and pick it up again to use anyway.

Clarke was by the door, looking very weighed down by both her bag and his, but Jasper walked right past her and out of the door towards the parking lot. Clarke grunted behind him, but said nothing. A tiny voice in the back of his head wondered how much longer she'd let him get away with treating her like this, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

Considering it was the only car in the lot, Jasper spotted Bellamy's car pretty quickly but he would have recognized it even if the lot was full. He stepped off the curb and sped up his pace. He wanted to get out of the open as soon as possible and just shove himself into the backspace of Bellamy's car where no—

Octavia was sitting on the hood of the car. She glanced up from her phone, but the moment they made eye contact she hurriedly glued her face to the screen again and created a wall with her hair that shielded her face from him.

Jasper started to turn around but ran head-on into Bellamy. "I'm going to make this as painless as I can, Jasper," he whispered.

Jasper swallowed, not quite believing him. Clarke, finally having caught up, dumped their crap onto the floor in the backseat. "Jasper, you're up front with Bellamy. Octavia, you're in the back with me."

Octavia looked up from her phone again, this time looking like she had gotten punched in the stomach. "But I always sit in the front!"

Bellamy gave her a strict look. "Get in the back, O. It's not open for discussion."

Jasper climbed into the passenger's side while intense glares between the other three took place. Honestly he wanted nothing to do with it, her especially. It was one thing to dump him; it was another to completely cut him out of her life as if he was never her friend in the first place.

There were a few hushed whispers, and then Octavia climbed into the back with a defiant slam of her door. Clarke and Bellamy both slid into their respective spots with perfect synchronization. It was kind of funny how the days where those two hated each other were almost a blur now, since neither one of them was often found without the other these days.

Bellamy didn't allow the car to fall into tan awkward silence because the moment he started the engine, he turned the volume on the radio to full blast making Jasper's teeth clatter around in his head. There were drowned out voices from the back, so he could only assume that Clarke and Octavia were talking, but he didn't catch any words.

Bellamy tried talking to him a few times, but Jasper kept his head against the window the whole time and pretended that he didn't hear him, which wasn't hard considering that Clarke's dad could probably hear the radio all the way in California.

The relief that flooded his body when they pulled into their driveway was so immense that he barely waited for the car to stop before jumping out and bolting for the door. He slammed the door to his room, grateful that his parents were in the backyard and hadn't witnessed his outbreak.

He could see Bellamy helping Clarke cart their stuff from his backseat up the walkway to the house. Octavia climbed over the automan in the car to get from the back seat to the front. Jasper let the curtain fall back into place.

Later that night, after he had skipped dinner and passed on a snack, Jasper sat with his back to his bedroom door. It wasn't their fault that they didn't know he could hear them whispering about him—after all, he had faked being asleep when they came in to check on him.

"He's not getting any better," Abby murmured. She was probably standing outside the room she shared with his dad.

"So he just stormed off?" His dad, Kane's voice.

A pause in the voices for what was probably a nod. "I'm really worried about him," Clarke inserted. "He isn't acting himself at all. At first it was somewhat normal, but this is carrying over far longer and becoming far more serious."

That's when Jasper tuned out, instead curling up in his comforter on the floor in front of the door. He was almost tempted to open the door, but once again he was hit with this wave of utter hopelessness.

Like nothing was going to get better from here.

...

sorry this is filler, but kind of necessary for Jasper's development. more bellarke fluff and plot next time!

5/15/17