Tweek

"I can't believe this," Kyle grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest, righteous indignation coming off of him in waves. "We go to all this trouble and look where it gets us. How long is this going to go on?" He sounded pissed, and that was probably an understatement. Though really, could you blame him.

"Calm down dude." Stan just sounded sort of tired. "It's all bullshit, I know." His arm bumped Kyle's, the action draining some of the fire from the redhead's body language. "I didn't think they'd pull that stunt either."

Trailing behind them, Tweek cringed backward. He knew they were talking about what had happened earlier that afternoon, it was all they'd been talking about and it scared him, mostly because he was confused at what had happened as well. He'd felt almost… confident at the time, but now, he just felt scared.

And sick, don't forget sick.

"I mean, don't they hate each other!" Kyle suddenly exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. Whipping around to face Tweek, the boy narrowed his eyes and asked sharply, "Isn't that right Tweek, don't you hate Craig!?" Oh, God! No, I don't think so! I don't know anymore!

"Why!?" Tweek blurted out instead, unable to help himself. "Why am I s-supposed to -ghn- hate Craig?!" He shivered as both Stan and Kyle stopped and turned to face him. OH GOD, THAT WAS THE WRONG ANSWER! Cowering under their collective attention, Tweek babbled, "I- I mean he didn't fight me."

"But he hates you," Stan said slowly, as if he were spelling something out for a child. Tweek wanted to be upset but he was too busy being intimidated. "Come on dude, if someone hates you, you aren't supposed to like him, that's pretty gay." Tweek cringed at that. I know he hates me, I know Craig wants to kill me! But there was a moment where he didn't. Why did it change so fast? Why can't he just make up his mind and stop dragging this out?!

Rolling his eyes at Stan's immature name-calling, as if he were any better, Kyle said, "Yeah Tweek, you're being a wuss. You need to stand up for yourself." Tweek shook his head, a soft squawk escaping him. He didn't like that, he didn't like that he was expected to fight Craig, even if the boy did hate him.

The whole thing had been so confusing, their attempted fight. Tweek hadn't wanted to do it, hadn't even known how to start to be upset with Craig. All he'd been able to think about was how kind Craig had been earlier and how peaceful he looked, just standing there, not fighting, not doing anything. Just staring into Tweek's eyes with those wicked blue eyes like the rest of the gathered students didn't matter. Heck, he tricked me into believing for a moment too.

"Ack! But I'm n-no good at fighting!" Tweek screeched, twitching hard. "And Craig isn't even trying to hurt me! He- He doesn't hate me that much, just a little bit, right?" Why am I going to them for anything? They're just going to try to convince me to hate Craig. They just want a fight! He was sure of that much now, knew it as surely as he knew that he'd somehow screwed up that afternoon. Kyle and Stan and Cartman wanted this fight more than Craig or Tweek ever would.

"Did you see the way he glared at you?" Kyle pointed out, crossing his arms and furrowing his brows. "I don't know about you but he looked downright murderous. He's totally got it out for you dude, you can't just let him hurt you, you have to show him that you're not a pushover." I am a pushover! Tweek wanted to scream. How many times have you two watched me be pushed over in front of you?!

"Yeah," Stan agreed, nodding fervently. "Craig looked super pissed after everything. I bet he was regretting having not hit you before. He's totally going to cream you tomorrow if you don't fight him back." Tweek shook harder. They were right, they were right, he'd pissed Craig off somehow, and he'd screwed himself over. Even if the Noirette hadn't wanted to fight, he did now. Tweek was screwed if he didn't shape up pretty quick.

It had been such a sudden shift. Before, Craig had been almost… conspiring with him. He'd been the one to first say he didn't know how to fight. What was more, Tweek could have sworn that he smiled at him before doing so. Which was impossible, Craig Tucker didn't smile. But that hadn't stopped Tweek from feeling like he was on top of the world for those few minutes.

The whole thing had been so damn funny, with Craig, the most infamous fighter in the grade if not the school, looking dead into the eyes of the people who wanted him to fight the most and saying that he'd never been in a fight before. Tweek had even laughed at it, and he didn't laugh often anymore. Craig had been standing up to the other boys and in that moment, Tweek hadn't even thought twice about the fact that he was spitting in the faces of the entire grade, he'd just thought that, with Craig, it didn't even matter.

But then it had come crashing down so fast.

Why did I have to ruin things? It must have been my fault! OH JESUS, What if it's because he realized it was me and he really does hate me? What if he's disgusted with me and didn't want to be associated with me? That's it isn't it? He doesn't want to even look at me, I'm so disgusting.

"B-but I can fight him without hating him, right?" Tweek asked, even though he knew he shouldn't. It was so stupid, they were right, it did make him a cissy, but the fact of the matter was, he didn't hate Craig. He'd never hated the Noirette, not really. Sure he'd been pissed at him when the boy had glared at him without reason but he'd never hated him. Tweek just… couldn't.

Rolling his eyes and scoffing, Kyle threw his arms into the air again and turned away. "You are so lame, you know that, right? Craig has been nothing but a dick to you and you are just kissing his ass." Letting out a cry at that, Tweek shook his head, hating how they made it out to be so horrible.

Stan just raised his eyebrows skeptically. "I'm sorry Tweek, but Kyle is right. That is pretty lame of you. But whatever, as long as you can get angry enough, then you don't have to hate him. But you have to have fire behind what you do, otherwise, you're so boned." Turning with a shrug, Stan nudged Kyle's arm with his own before resuming walking, leaving no choice for Tweek but to follow along.

I'm not like that, it's not like that! I just don't hate him. Why is that such a problem? Is there something wrong with me? Should I hate Craig? Am I really such a lame person for not wanting to hate him? Hugging his arms around himself and wishing that he had his thermos, Tweek just hung his head as the realization that whatever else happened, the only person he'd ever really hate was himself set in.

Because even after Craig had smiled at him, the moment Tweek had gone back to his usual nervous, terrified self, the Noirette had glared at him with venom in his eyes and hadn't looked at him again for the rest of the duration. Tweek knew what that meant, knew that he'd screwed up. He despised himself for it, but he couldn't do anything now, could he? Craig thought he was disgusting, probably hated him now, and Tweek couldn't do anything but fight back.

He was scared.

He wanted to see Craig smile at him again, just once.

The boys were silent for the rest of the trip, for which Tweek was grateful. He wasn't sure he'd be able to take any more interrogations. His head was already spinning, he didn't need to feel any worse about himself. No, what he needed to do was get this whole thing over with and survive it. Remembering Craig's expression when the other boys had mentioned boxing, Tweek recalled the dare in those eyes, telling him that he could do it, that he would survive.

Well, even if Craig hated him, he'd still believed that Tweek was capable of doing this. So he would damnit! He would box and he'd be good at it and he'd show Craig that he wasn't just some disgusting piece of filth, he was also every bit as dangerous as the Noirette. Maybe it was stupid, but Tweek didn't care. It wasn't as if he could sink much lower.

Reaching the place, Tweek glanced up at the sign and took a deep breath. Big's Gym it said, in big blatant letters. Nervously, he followed Kyle inside as Stan held the door for them. He kept his eyes on the floor, even as Stan locked his shoulder in a vice-like grip and nearly dragged him through a door. "Come on, they're already waiting for us. You need to change." Leaving Tweek shivering in the locker room, he vanished for a moment before Kyle walked in, holding a pair of boxing shorts.

"Well?" the boy prompted, staring at him with that unnerving look that made Tweek feel like someone was dissecting his brain. Oh god, Kyle is actually an alien and he wants my brain! It was never Craig, it was always Kyle!

"AUGH OH JESUS, WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" he screamed, leaping away from that horrifying stare.

Kyle groaned. "Holy fuck, you are impossible. Strip, now." When Tweek only stared at him and twitched in fear, Kyle sighed. "You need to change so strip and put these on. God, how hard is this for you to understand?"

Hurrying to comply, not wanting to anger Kyle anymore, Tweek struggled to unbutton his shirt, his trembling fingers making the job almost impossible. Kyle just stared at him, his face growing progressively more fed up with him. Oh god, I'm really making him mad. Jesus, what do I do? Frantic, Tweek finally managed to throw off his shirt and quickly shucked his jeans, swallowing hard as the sight of his bruised legs made him feel sick.

Come on, if you learn to fight back, then maybe Craig won't make this much worse. You've got to do something! Something hit him in the face and Tweek let out an involuntary, "GHA!" Realizing it was just the pair of boxer shorts, Tweek grabbed for them and pulled them on with trembling fingers.

"FINALLY!" Kyle exploded, startling Tweek into stumbling into the bench at his back. "Jesus, you are so slow."

As if summoned by his friend's loud noises, Stan pushed open the door, holding a pair of boxing gloves. They were tiny, but so were Tweek's hands, so he supposed he couldn't complain. "Here," Stan said, tossing them to Tweek who fumbled and dropped them both. "Put them on. My uncle is giving you a private lesson so you should probably hurry."

Nodding, Tweek forced himself to still enough so he could put the gloves on. They felt disgusting, he could almost imagine all the people who had worn them before him. It made him feel queasy but he pushed the feeling away, instead following Stan and Kyle out of a different door.

Inside was a small room which pretty much contained some equipment and a boxing ring. Inside the boxing ring stood two people, a rather porky man, and a stick thin one. Waving to them, Stan called, "Hey Uncle Jim!"

The porky man brightened as Kyle and Stan climbed under the ropes and into the boxing ring. Tweek was more nervous to follow, but he did anyway, not wanting to piss anyone else off anymore. I'm in a boxing ring, if they kill me, they could say it was an accident!

As he stood up, still staying close to the ropes in case he had to run away, Tweek cowered and waited for something to happen. The thin man was dressed similarly to him, making Tweek wonder if he was going to be his teacher. Terrified, the boy twitched and fought to keep himself steady.

"Alrighty!" Jimbo exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Tweek, my little nephew Stanley has asked me to teach you to fine points of boxing!" He seemed excited, Tweek wished he could say the same.

Instead, all he could do was look at the floor. There was blood on it. "RRrrrh!" Tweek exclaimed, jumping back in fear. Oh god, that's going to be my blood in a moment. I'm going to die. What am I even doing? This is such a bad idea, why am I even here? Let me out? I don't care what happens, I don't want to die!

But Stan's uncle paid his fear no attention, instead choosing to announce. "You're in luck! Ned here used to be the state champion until a grenade blew his arm off." He gestured at the thin man, Ned apparently. Tweek nearly passed out. State champion?! Oh god, this is way too much pressure!

Ned, who did indeed only have one arm, put his good one on his chest and said, "Mmrr, I can still kick ass." With those sunglasses and the bandana tied around his forehead, Tweek didn't doubt it. He was going to get crushed and he didn't even know what to do. He was frozen, all he could do was stand there and shake.

Grinning, Jimbo continued, "Now, Tweek, boxing is a Man sport." Tweek's eyes widened. Oh god, why am I here? "There is nothing in the world more Man than boxing. It is Man at his most Man." Tweek couldn't help but shake his head minutely, his brain rejecting the idea wholly. This wasn't for him, he wasn't a man, he was a spaz who couldn't even stand still!

"So when you spar with Ned here, just dig deep into that most Man part of you," Jimbo finished passionately. Looking over at Ned, Tweek let out a guttural scream. Kyle and Stan just shrugged, as if they still thought this was a good idea. OH GOD! "Well, enough of the lectures!" Jimbo announced. Wait, you're not even going to teach me!? "Let's get to boxing."

There was a ring of a bell and suddenly Ned leaped at Tweek. All it took was one good punch to the gut and Tweek went flying. He could physically feel the air leaving him in a whoosh as he went flying into the ropes. Hitting them, he was tossed back to the floor, his face smacking against its dirty surface as if it wanted to rub salt in the wound.

"Uugh…" he groaned, struggling to get up but to no avail. It hurts, everything hurts. The bruises on his arms protested his movements angrily, yelling at him to stop moving. I have to get up, I have to move.

From above him, Ned hummed, "Mmm whatcha got, beotch?" Struggling more fervently, Tweek shakily got to his feet, wobbling uncertainly as his vision swam. Oh god, my head hurts!

Paying no mind to his clear distress, Jimbo called, "Keep your guard up, Tweek!" But the words sounded like they were coming from underwater and Tweek couldn't even put his feet one in front of the other, much less figure out how to guard. Stan and Kyle just kept watching, immovable throughout the whole thing. They want me to die!

Even so, he lifted his arms and attempted to defend against Ned but again, the man moved too quickly. He struck quick and low, delivering two punches to Tweek before the blond boy fell again, unable to even think of standing. "OW!" he yelped, though that did the pain no justice. It was the fear that really got him, the absolute fear of failing and being killed as a result.

"Damn it!" Stan cursed, as if finally realizing that Tweek wasn't going to amount to anything.

"Come on Tweek!" Kyle called, more stubborn than his friend. "He's only got one arm!"

Jimbo started to say something but Tweek couldn't hear it, his brain was too fuzzy. Picking his head up off the mat, the boy had a sudden image flash through his mind. One of Craig, sitting in the pathetic attempt at stands, his arms crossed, a familiar scowl on his face. Get up! The image said. You're stronger than this, get up and fight.

I CAN'T! He wanted to scream at the apparition. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING, I'M PATHETIC AND WEAK! He was, he was worthless, why would anyone even think that he'd be able to fight back. All he was good for was getting kicked around. That's what people did to him now, that's what they'd do till he died.

No, the image of Craig said, standing. You aren't worthless, you're Tweek motherfucking Tweak now show me what that fucking means. You got that!? Show me what you're really made of! He vanished from view, but it didn't matter, Tweek could feel the words sinking into his bones, empowering him.

Craig, he thought I could do this, didn't he? Tweek thought, slowly rising to his feet, despite the pain in his stomach. He thought I could fight back, I've got to prove him right. He could feel power, something that he'd felt when Craig had glared at him, coursing through him. Gritting his teeth, he took his stance again, facing Ned with a scowl.

The one-armed man pranced before him, waving his fist threateningly as he called, "Gmmmmm, whatcha got, beotch?" Not much maybe, Tweek thought, readying his own fists. But Craig thinks I can do it, so I can!

From the sidelines, Jimbo yelled, "Punch him in the balls, Tweek!" What the fuck? But Tweek chose not to argue, instead, he simply lunged forward. Ducking the swing Ned took at his head, Tweek struck true and struck hard. He could almost hear Stan and Kyle wince. That's right, I'm not helpless!

The man above him let out a yell of pain and fell, which only seemed to excite Jimbo more. Tweek looked up at him in surprise, waiting for him to tell him the fight was over but instead, he just said, "Atta boy! Now quick, get him again while he's down!" Unsure what else to do but follow his instructions, Tweek lunged forward once more.

He landed several more blows. One to Ned's stomach and two more to his groin. The man just groaned helplessly. Tweek pictured Craig instead, groaning on the ground and staring up at him with swollen blue eyes. With a yell, Tweek shoved the image away and hit Ned again with twice as much force, trying to push Craig out of his mind. No! I don't want that!

"Ow…" Ned moaned, his body twitching in pain. Tweek took a step back, staring at the work he'd done. I did that, I actually fought someone and won.

"Good!" Jimbo praised, clapping. "Now kick him in the balls!" Unwilling to argue, Tweek delivered several vicious kicks to Ned's groin, each one carrying all the stress and tension he'd been building up over the past few days. With a great hack, the man at his mercy spat up blood, unable to make any more noises of protest.

"There, see?" Jimbo said, finally giving Tweek permission to stop kicking. "You've got him coughing up blood." How this was a good thing, Tweek would never know, but just like the cruel people they were, Stan and Kyle cheered. Oh god, I'm turning into a monster. But then he thought of Craig and Tweek realized that as long as he showed Craig that he wasn't weak, it wouldn't matter.

Staring at the convulsing man on the floor, Tweek let out a, "GRRRRrrr!" and balled his fists, a hard look on his face. From the sidelines, he could almost hear Craig call See, I told you that you weren't weak. When you need to be, you're strong.

With a big grin, Jimbo announced, "Now that's boxing!"

Stan looked at Tweek and said, "You know Tweek, I might have been wrong about you. You've actually got balls."

And though it was praise, coming from Stan, it made Tweek feel sick.

As long as Craig thinks I'm strong, as long as Craig believes it…