Tweek
"Rrrr, mean," Tweek muttered under his breath, holding up his bare fists to the mirror and scowling. "Ack! M-mean!" He held that pose for a moment, before deflating slightly. The moment he did, his true colors showed through. Nothing but a scared boy pretending to be something he wasn't.
His hair was everywhere, though it was stuck more to his head than usual, the shower he'd just taken having momentarily tamed it. His eyes were wide, vivid, reminding him of a caged animal's. He hated them, he hated everything about his face. The way his eyebrows were too thin and the way he couldn't keep from twitching every few seconds. It was stupid, he was stupid, but in the end, he'd given up on caring.
Mean Tweek, gotta look tough. Screwing up his face with a fierce expression once more, Tweek yelled at his mirror, "I'm not taking any more of your –ngh- SHIT!" It felt good to say, he could almost picture saying it to Cartman, balling up his fists and punching the boy in the face. Wait, no, I'm fighting Craig.
Oh, Jesus, I don't wanna fight Craig! And just like that, he could feel his spirits wilt again. Without care for his head or the rest of his body, Tweek tilted back on his heels and let himself fall backward. The back of his skull collided with the floor, making him see stars. His spine hurt where it was pressed against the legos he'd left scattered everywhere but he didn't bother moving. He couldn't find the motivation to. He just lay there, twitching.
I'm really going to die tomorrow. This is it. Oh god, why did I do this? Why did I ever agree to fight him!? "AUGH!" Jerking upright, Tweek buried his fingers in his hair and pulled hard. He hated this. Hated that he'd let himself get pushed to this point by people like Cartman and Stan and Kyle. Even after they'd been cruel to him and hurt him for years, he'd let them turn him against the one person who had never made fun of him and had never hurt him.
But he hates you, don't forget that he despises you. You saw the look in his eyes, he wants to kill you! Moaning, Tweek's eyes rolled back in his head as he twitched and shivered. Sometimes, he felt like he could see right through Craig, other times, it felt like he couldn't read him at all. To be perfectly honest, Tweek didn't know where he was right now, whether he understood or not.
Do you really think I hate you? Looking over at his bed, Tweek found himself staring at the same image of Craig that he'd seen earlier while he'd fought. Well, it wasn't like he wasn't crazy. He saw things all the time, things he knew were fake but still listened to sometimes. Now he found himself staring up at a version of the Noirette that his fucked up brain had conjured for him.
"I don't know," He said aloud, hardly caring that he was talking to himself. He did it enough anyway, it wasn't like it mattered anymore. "Y-you act so nice one moment and then you glare at me and you're really scary and mean and I don't understand. You d-don't make any –ghn- sense!" Tugging at his hair, Tweek pulled his legs to his chest so he could bury his face in his knees.
You don't make sense either Tweek, the image of Craig pointed out, his voice still perfectly clear, given the fact that it was echoing around within Tweek's own mind. One moment, you trust me, the next, you fucking run. Squeezing his eyes shut, Tweek shook his head. The problem was, it was true, he did run, he did get scared easily. Even when he should be entirely sure of himself and Craig, he found himself doubting it all.
"B-but you're not my friend," Tweek pointed out miserably. "You're –RRrrr- th-the person who stares at me all the time! Why do you do that?!" The apparition didn't answer, and it made Tweek's stomach clench. Even my fucked up subconscious doesn't know the answer to that one. It was the question that was at the center of it all and it made him crazy, not knowing. I JUST WANT HIM TO MAKE SENSE!
I DON'T MAKE SENSE! Jerking his head up, Tweek stared with wide eyes at the image of Craig that was now standing over him. All that height and power and intensity that the real Craig possessed condensed into a faded memory. The boy before him had his fists clenched, a scowl replacing his deadpan. You need to get the fuck over it. Right now, you need to trust that maybe, I don't hate you.
Staring up at Mental Craig, Tweek wished that it were true, he desperately wanted to believe that Craig didn't hate him. But he does, I saw that look on his face. He's furious with me because I'm a screw-up and a freak. He doesn't hang out with freaks, he doesn't talk to freaks! Every time I remind him just how fucked up I am he runs away! "You're not even real!" he snapped, glaring at the image of Craig before him.
Bending down, Craig's apparition said, Then get talking to the real one. Do you want to prove you're not a fucking weakling? Then tomorrow punch me in the face! Do you want to know if I hate you? Then fucking ask, don't just assume you know. Craig looked so serious, Tweek couldn't help but feel something stir within himself. It didn't matter that he was imagining this, he could actually picture Craig saying it.
Suddenly, the door behind him opened and Tweek heard his dad say, "Hey Son, I have coffee for you." Turning, Tweek found his father smiling blankly at him, in that way he did that made Tweek realize just how broken his parents were. "It's fresh," his father continued, smiling wider. "Fresh, like the morning dew on the new leaves of spring. Fresh, like a mountain spring cascading through-"
Jumping to his feet, Tweek let out an involuntary noise before yelping, "Th-thanks Dad, I get it!" Grabbing the mug out of his father's hands, Tweek took a deep sip of the scalding hot liquid and felt better instantly as the warmth settled in his gut.
"Okay son, have a good night." His father closed the door, leaving Tweek all alone with Craig's image, which still hadn't faded away. Turning to face him, Tweek slowly padded over to his bed, careful not to twitch too hard and spill the coffee down his front. He still hadn't bothered to put clothing on past his boxers. Ugh, I should get dressed before I freeze and get a cold and then die or something.
Sitting down, Tweek set the mug down and stared at the image of Craig. Crossing his arms, Craig's face smoothed out from the scowl into the usual deadpan that Tweek was used to. "W-what?" Tweek asked, feeling self-conscious for the first time since Craig's image had appeared. It was weird, kind of like how Craig always stared at him in real life. Shivering, Tweek crossed his arms over his frankly bruised torso and curled in on himself. "What do you want?!"
You know Tweek, Craig said, his voice soft, even. I'm just as fucked up as you are. Maybe not in the same ways, but I'm a fucking wreck. Tweek's eyes widened because he'd never once thought that of Craig so why would his image say something like that. Twitching, Tweek shook his head, unwilling to believe it.
"N-no, you've got it all together. I d-don't!" Tweek insisted, biting his lip. Craig knows what he's doing, Craig knows how the world works. Nothing fazes him, nothing stresses him out. He stands up to Cartman and his friends and he doesn't take shit from anyone! I take shit from everyone because I'm too scared to stand up to anyone! "H-how can you say that?!"
But Craig didn't answer, he just shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at Tweek with those blue eyes that were only a shadow of the intensity that came from the real Craig. After a moment of this, he simply shrugged and said, Why don't you ask him. Before he could ask the apparition what the hell he meant by that, Tweek heard the squeak of his window and let out a scream.
"AUGH IT'S THE ALIENS!" he yelled, only to get a familiar laugh in response. Oh god, it's him. Why?
"Aww Tweekers," Kenny said, gracefully sliding in through the now open window. "I'm hurt, really I am. You think I'm an alien? I mean I have been told I'm out of this world but I don't think they meant it quite that literally." With a yelp, Tweek grabbed his blankets and covered himself up, twitching.
"W-What the heck are you doing!?" he demanded, even though he already sort of knew the answer. This wasn't the first time this had happened after all. Kenny, among his other annoying habits, tended to pop up when Tweek least expected him. That included his room, of course. "Go away!" Kenny just closed the window behind him and grinned at Tweek, his stance easy.
"Calm down Tweeky, you wouldn't want your parents to think there's a real monster up here," he said, winking playfully. Tweek attempted to glare at Kenny but found that his face wouldn't work that way. He was too busy still freaking out about the fact that the boy had once again invaded his room through the window and what if he'd fallen and died?! What if he'd gotten caught. ACK It's too much pressure!
"What do want?" Tweek asked, grabbing for a shirt that was at the end of his bed and quickly trying to struggle into it while avoiding Kenny's eyes. The boy only snickered, as if Tweek's embarrassment was simply funny for him. Twitching hard, Tweek grabbed for his coffee and took a sip of it, needing to calm down.
"I dunno Tweek, I guess I'm just bored." Flopping out onto the end of Tweek's bed, Kenny grinned at the ceiling. He'd always had this carefree attitude around him that Tweek sort of envied. It didn't matter to Kenny that his family was dirt poor or that he was made fun of for it, he just kept existing, kept right on smiling even when it seemed like he had nothing to be happy about. Gah, he stresses me out!
And it wasn't just that, though that was plenty in Tweek's mind. No, there was also something strange about Kenny, something that made Tweek's delusions really act up. Because sometimes, it seemed like Kenny died, yet the next day, he was back, good as new. No one else ever seemed to notice it, so Tweek knew he was imaging it, but still, it freaked him out.
"S-so why would you come here?" Tweek demanded, yelping as Kenny rolled himself up in Tweek's blankets like he lived there. Oh, Jesus, he's going to get everything dirty and I'm going to get some horrible disease. Kenny is going to kill me with his weird diseases and he's not even going to care! No one will! "I'm n-not even that interesting!"
"Nonsense," Kenny insisted, raising an eyebrow and looking up at Tweek mischievously from his cocoon of blankets that he'd formed. "You, Tweeky my boy, are currently the most interesting thing since sliced bread. You and your little fight with Craig has got everyone's tongues going crazy. Don't you pretend that you don't know what's going on."
"Everyone!" Tweek squawked, his eyes widening. His coffee sloshed, ending up splattering his covers with brown spots. "OH JESUS, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Trembling, Tweek shook his head wildly, getting his hair in his face. "W-Why do they even care?" I don't even want this thing to be happening, why does everyone have to know about it?!
"Because Tweekers, you and Craig are simply too much fun to watch!" Kenny insisted, propping his head up on his hands and elbows. "Look at you two, this thing has turned into such a shitshow, I can hardly stand it! Oh man, it's just too much fun." With a laugh, he brushed one gloved hand through his hair and tilted his head upward. "This is all one big movie and you Tweek, you're the star of the show."
"I DON'T EVEN WANT TO FIGHT HIM!" Tweek yelled, unable to stop himself. Oh god, why did I just tell him that? He's going to tell everyone, I'm screwed! Everyone's going to know I'm a wimp and Craig is going to hate me even more than he probably already does because I can't even stand up for myself! Stan and Kyle will kill me! As Tweek's hands twitched upwards towards his hair, Kenny grabbed the mug out of his shaking grasp before it could spill.
Letting out a laugh as he took a sip of Tweek's coffee, clearly not caring about all the second-hand germs that he was probably getting that could kill him, Kenny cooed, "Tweek, do you think that matters? Look at me in the eyes and tell me that whether you or Craig wanting to fight matters even a little bit." When Tweek just yanked on his hair and let out a soft moan of terror, Kenny laughed. "See, you can't, because no one actually gives a shit what you or Craig really want!"
"B-But Craig wants to fight me!" Tweek squeaked, still staring at Kenny in fear. Why doesn't anyone care that I don't want to fight?! Is this all some sort of twisted game for them? Oh god, it is, isn't it? "He's so angry at me, he clearly –ngh!- wants to hurt me!"
But Kenny's eyes just widened and he laughed harder. "You are just too precious Tweeky, man, I can't get enough of you." Shaking his head, Kenny's eyes lit up and he asked, "Tweek, do you honestly think that Craig, stoic little pebble that he is, wants to fight you? Even after everything that's happened? Come on!"
"But doesn't he?" Tweek insisted, releasing his hair as confusion filled him. Kenny, while sounding about a thousand times more annoying, was echoing what Craig's apparition had said. That Craig didn't hate him. No, he does, right? "He hates me so he w-wants to fight me, that's what this is all about!"
Stifling his laughter with another sip of Tweek's coffee, Kenny said, "Oh boy Tweek, you know nothing about Craig if you think he actually wants to fight you. That boy has been trying to avoid this fight more than you have and trust me, that's a whole fucking lot! Do you have any idea how much he's been torturing himself over this? You just have to look at him to see it, come on Tweek, don't pretend you don't see it."
"I d-don't!" Tweek insisted, frustrated. Twitching to the side, the blond demanded, "If he doesn't hate me then –grrr- what does he think of me!?"
All Kenny did was shrug, his eyes dancing. "Far be it from me to read Craig's mind Tweekers, but I know that he doesn't hate you. I'm pretty sure he hates Cartman to be honest, and one can only wonder why…" Trailing off dramatically, Kenny reached up a hand and dragged his thumb over the fading bruise on Tweek's cheek. Flinching away from Kenny's touch, Tweek clenched his teeth.
Raising an eyebrow, Kenny sat up on Tweek's bed and balanced the mug of coffee on one of his knees. "Want me to tell you a story Tweek?" he asked amiably, his tone mischievous.
"N-no," Tweek muttered, huffing. "I d-don't want to hear your stupid story, Kenny."
"Nonsense," Kenny insisted, ignoring Tweek's protestations. "You'll want to hear this story. It's from all the way back in kindergarten, it's a good one!" Biting his lip as if to hide his smirk, Kenny said, "It's about Craig, come on, don't you want to hear it?"
Though he didn't want to admit his curiosity, Tweek couldn't help but cock his head forward at that. About Craig? What about Craig? He really did want to know, especially because he didn't understand the boy in the slightest and anything that could help him do so would be welcome. Stupid Kenny, knowing exactly what to do to get me to listen.
"I knew it," Kenny said smugly, taking another sip of coffee before shivering. "Jesus Tweekers, your parents trying to give you a heart attack?" When Tweek didn't answer, Kenny shrugged. "Oh well, back to the story. Do you remember kindergarten? Remember how our parents still gave a shit about us?" No, Tweek thought, picking at the bases of his nails. They always looked fucked up, considering how much he bit and messed with them. Because my parents didn't care. They were too busy to remember I existed, weren't they?
"I can see it on your face Tweeky, you remember." Kenny smiled, though it didn't seem like a very happy smile. "Everyone had at least one parent who would take them to school because that's what you did, right? You showed all the other parents that you loved your children even if you could give less of a shit. Except there were some people whose parents didn't even care about that." His eyes gleamed. "You know Tweekers, I don't think my parents even knew I was going to kindergarten, my brother didn't, so they didn't think that I would. Whatever."
Suddenly, Tweek felt guilty. He knew that he didn't have it that bad, his parents were fine, right? There were other people who had it worse, Kenny for one. He shouldn't feel so bad about himself. I'm so selfish and disgusting. Why do I only ever think about myself? God, I'm pathetic. He wanted to say something in sympathy, but all he did was stare and twitch.
Kenny didn't care, he just kept talking, his eyes distant. "But there were a few other children whose parents didn't give a shit. You know who they were Tweek, you were one of them, weren't you?" Tweek stared down at his hands at that, his face screwed up. He was right of course, but Tweek couldn't stand him bringing it up. It made him feel even more worthless than he already was.
"Do you remember who the other person was?" Kenny asked, his tone soft and almost lilting. Tweek's eyes widened and he whipped his head up because he knew, he understood what Kenny was trying to say. The only other person was- "Craig," Kenny finished, before letting his eyes wander as if what he was saying hardly mattered.
"Now, far be it for me to tell people what they're parents think of them but I dunno Tweeky," he glanced back at Tweek, the expression on his face prodding at the blond almost as effectively as his words. "You and Craig, you've got some things in common. And it makes you wonder, doesn't it, why he'd care so much about one little bruise when no one else gives a shit."
Tweek's eyes widened. He wasn't sure he quite understood what Kenny was trying to say, but one thing seemed to be there, one he could articulate. "H-he wants to protect me?" It seemed so stupid, he was going to fight Craig tomorrow, and that went against any idea of protecting him! But Kenny almost made sense, in some crazy way, Tweek could see it.
But Kenny only shrugged and finished off Tweek's coffee. "Craig Fucker- Sorry, Tucker, is all kinds of fucked up Tweekers, but I'll tell you one thing, no matter how vicious you two get tomorrow, he doesn't actually hate you. If anything, he's unhealthily obsessed with you." Stretching out his legs, Kenny swung them over the side of Tweek's bed and slipped to the floor. "But hey, that's just my interpretation of the whole thing."
"So I'll really have to fight him tomorrow?" Tweek asked, his eyes worried and wide. He didn't want to, he could feel his heartrate kicking up a notch just at the thought. It terrified him and it made him miserable, he just wanted a way out. Except Kenny just nodded gravely, confirming his worst fears.
"I'm afraid so Tweek. Trust me, he'll be coming at you twice as hard as you're expecting and you had best better be hitting back with all of that crazy twitchy rage you've got bottled up inside of you. Who knows," Kenny strolled back to the window and threw it open again. "Maybe it'll be good for the two of you to let it out. Just don't try to avoid it any more, otherwise, you'll both just keep getting sicker at sicker."
Before Tweek could ask what that was supposed to mean, Kenny was gone. A moment later, the window slammed shut behind him, making Tweek jump.
Go on Tweek. Tweek turned and found Craig leaning against the opposite wall, hands in his pockets, eyes trained on the ground. Give me hell tomorrow. Then he was gone as well, leaving Tweek entirely alone.
Oh god…
