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Chapter 18: How to Pick a Dragon's Brain
(Hiccup)
It felt a bit like waking up from a long slumber, except it was unlike anything Hiccup had ever experienced. He could not open his eyes, yet everything still spun. It seemed as if the whole world was whirling away in all directions. Fast. Very fast. As if his brain (and only his brain) had been placed inside a ball, rolling down a steep mountainside.
His ears also rung with a loud, buzzing noise, like that of a thousand wasps. He could barely hear his own panicked moans over that deafening sound.
He was not actually tumbling; his tactile sense told him so. However, blind as he was, he could not tell up from down. Everything kept spinning, and turning, and spiraling higher and lower and higher again. There was nothing he could do to still his sense of direction. It all seemed to be a very bad dream, but even the strong surge of fright in his chest did not make it stop. If anything, it made it worse.
Hiccup kept flailing his arms around in an attempt to steady himself, but he could tell he was already lying on the ground. His hands touched grass and wood and dirt. Even so, he was overcome by an inexplicable sense of vertigo. Aside from a dull ache in his head, he wasn't in pain, but something terrifying was happening to him. Part of him wondered if he was going to die, but the most powerful feeling of nausea made him soon forget how scared he was.
Suddenly, Hiccup managed to unglue his eyelids and open his eyes. He saw colors blurring in all directions. He also saw shapes, and what he thought to be the ground, and the sunny sky, and a black figure close by.
Toothless! He thought.
He tried to speak the name, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he heaved, and threw up on… somewhere. He could not tell where, or how much, since his sense of direction was utter chaos, and the image his eyes perceived kept whirling around. Everything was rotating upwards now. Hiccup stiffened his muscles, but it was no use.
Trying to suppress his panic, he observed as the world spun and blurred. Whenever the ground replaced the sky in his vision, the image would restore itself, before speeding upwards once more, over, and over, and over again. If he had actually been tumbling, or if the world around him had been truly rotating, he ought to have been able to see behind his back. He couldn't. It was all inside his head.
Just as the spinning seemed to slow down, and as the loud buzzing faded away, Hiccup started hearing a different, clearer sound, though he paid it no attention at first. He concentrated on stopping the dizziness by the power of his own will. His effort probably made no difference, but, gradually, the tilting image began to steady, and, soon afterwards, his vision became solid with his skull.
It finally ceased.
Hiccup lay gasping on the grass of the glade, just outside the small, uncomfortable caves of their island, with his back touching the trunk of an old fallen tree. He sat up straight, and looked around very slowly, afraid that a quick movement of his neck might make the spinning start again. He could still hear that strange new sound though. It was just like a voice. No, it truly was a voice, which didn't make any sense, considering he was alone on that island. Besides, he could only see Toothless nearby, so he ignored this voice, thinking his mind was still playing tricks with him.
Hiccup looked at the dragon. His black, reptilian face was the picture of absolute fear.
"What…" Hiccup murmured. His voice was raspy, so he cleared his throat, and leaned to one side to spit the taste of vomit from his mouth. He noticed one of his nostrils was clogged with blood, which was also drying on his hand and clothes.
"What happened to me?" He finally asked, his hands shivering.
He was not expecting an actual response.
"Sorry! Sorry! Are you all right now? I did not know… I did it wrong. Did I hurt you? Sorry…. Can you hear the words? Can you understand now? Are you… healthy?" The strange voice kept asking all these questions, producing words inside Hiccup's head.
While it wasn't really a sound which Hiccup could hear with his ears, somehow, it still had a vibrant tone, like that of a rich, youthful voice. It felt strangely ethereal in nature, but it was nonetheless very clear and well-defined, as if spoken within the walls a small wooden hut. It sounded a bit like the voice of a young man, with a gentle timbre and a warm pitch. In fact, it seemed comfortably familiar, despite the fact that Hiccup had never perceived anything like it.
He could not describe this only in terms of sound, for the sensation that accompanied those words also had some qualities reminiscent of taste, or smell, or perhaps a tactile feeling, although it was neither of those things. It was as if he had an entirely new sense, with its own set of traits, which vibrated directly inside his head, partly like hearing, but very much separate from the sounds entering his ears. For instance, among other things, he could perceive the direction and distance from which the words came, and also some part of the sentiments that accompanied them, beside the ones he could already infer from the tone. There was a worried… flavor.
Still, the resulting experience was not too different from listening to a voice. He was, after all, hearing actual words, though their 'sound' emerged from somewhere else inside his head, almost as if he had been thinking about them, but much more vividly, and without his control. In the end, there was no better way to explain this other than: a sound but not a sound, a voice that could not be heard, but only felt.
Hiccup sat still-as-stone as he, for lack of a better word, listened to this friendly voice, asking again and again: "Are you all right? Can you understand? Hiccup?"
When he finally realized that those words inside his head were being accompanied by the Night Fury's similarly expressive whimpers, grunts, and coos, which Hiccup could still hear separately with his ears, his eyes widened in utter disbelief. He was not just imagining it, he was somehow hearing Toothless speak, and not only that, but the dragon was speaking in his language!
For a very long while, Hiccup remained speechless, forgetting all about his frightful awakening, and gawking at his friend like a frozen critter. So frozen, in fact, that he forgot to blink, giving the perfect impression of a brain-damaged bird.
"Oh no! I broke you!" The strange new voice whimpered, and the Night Fury accompanied it with a loud wail of anguish that anyone would have been able to decipher.
"Toothless?" Hiccup murmured. It was all he could say, not fully believing what was happening. Was Toothless talking?
The dragon stopped wailing immediately, both with his throat and this strange, ethereal voice. If Hiccup's vision was not betraying him again, he could see his friend's strong limbs almost tremble, first with fear, and now relief.
"Hiccup! You can hear my words?! Human words, like yours." The voice pleaded.
"I… no… no, this can't be. Is this you I'm hearing?" Hiccup asked, wiggling his index fingers into his ears in a futile attempt to clear them. He felt silly for even considering the possibility that this wasn't a dream. "Blink twice if it's really you who's talking," he said against his better judgement.
Despite the vividness of what Hiccup was experiencing, his heart skipped when he saw Toothless blink perhaps a dozen times more than requested.
"Odin's ghost… it is you," Hiccup hissed under his breath.
The Night Fury jumped back, and half-roared, half-howled at the sky. Then, he began to hop and thrash around the warm sunlit glade in circles, like a gigantic bunny, with his tongue lolling out in blissful celebration. Hiccup had never seen his friend so euphoric, not even when they had fallen in the field of dragon-grass.
When the Night Fury returned before him, Hiccup, who was still striving to wrap his head around this turn of events, asked: "How? How can this be?"
Toothless sat on his haunches, visibly trying to contain his enthusiasm, and, as calmly as he could, he explained what he had done to the best of his ability, using this inner voice to talk, although he occasionally warbled and crooned accordingly to what he was saying.
The Night Fury used the human expressions he knew to explain how he had 'opened' Hiccup's mind, and how all dragons possessed the innate ability to connect to each other's minds, depending on the dragon's power. As he 'talked', Toothless mixed up a word or two, giving away the fact that he did not speak the language natively. Yet, his fluency was exceptional, especially considering he could not have been taught as a child. Night Furies had to be remarkably intelligent, Hiccup thought, and not just by dragon standards.
Hiccup listened open-mouthed to the dragon's amazing account, and also to his apology for the risks involved in what he had done. He disregarded the last part. He was so enthralled by the possibilities, that in his mind no risk could outweigh the benefits of something so utterly extraordinary. In fact, after the dragon was done explaining, Hiccup found himself realizing what was happening all over again, although, this time, his shock was replaced by an astounding sense exhilaration.
"Wait a moment," Hiccup said. "You can freaking talk! TALK for Thor's sake!" he shouted, stirring some birds in the forest behind him. "You really speak my language! I knew you understood me, but you… you can actually speak! This is… unbelievable." He whispered the last part, and lowered his eyes to the ground to contemplate the grass. Was this all too good to be true?
"Maybe I'm going crazy," Hiccup murmured as he got up to walk around the small clearing. He felt weak and light-headed, and still a little nauseous, but he needed to move. "Of course I am. I've been living alone with a dragon for months. I'm definitely going crazy." He chuckled, rubbing his forehead, and pacing nervously.
His breathing began to hasten, and, for a while, it seemed as if his lungs were not large enough. He took deeper and deeper breaths, clutching his dirty tunic over his chest with one hand.
Toothless approached, and nudged Hiccup's forehead with his moist snout in an affectionate attempt to calm him down. It took some time, but it finally started to work. When Hiccup's breathing evened out, he looked up into the dragon's large green eyes.
"Toothless, do you realize what this means?"
"Means?" The dragon asked back, cocking his head to one side.
"It means I can actually talk to my best friend," Hiccup replied through an elated grin, his eyes welling up with deep, heartfelt joy.
As inconceivable as the matter was, Hiccup found himself accepting it all rather easily after that, much to his own dismay. Perhaps it was partly due to the signs, which had begun to accumulate ever since the day of his banishment. The most plausible reason, however, was probably much simpler. Hiccup needed this.
While the strange duo's more regular exchanges had never been entirely one-sided, the lack of actual conversations had started to make Hiccup feel a vague, but nonetheless oppressive loneliness during his exile. On Berk, even though the young heir had never been the paradigm of popularity (at least prior to his successes in the arena), he had always managed to steal a banter or two a day from Gobber, and, sometimes, even his father's reproaches or the other teens' scorn helped Hiccup replenish his secret need for human contact. Now, with this newfound, extraordinary ability, that mounting loneliness was finally dispelled.
What followed was one of the most informative afternoons of Hiccup's youth. It was one thing to study about dragons on Bork's famous dragon-manual, quite another to actually interview one of the creatures themselves. Hiccup's thirst for knowledge took quickly over his every other concern, like his worsening headache, his hunger, or the taste of bile in his mouth.
Night Furies might not have been too knowledgeable about the other dragon species, but there were still plenty of interesting things that Toothless knew, and some were more shocking than others.
As he and the dragon began to converse, Hiccup found himself asking a few first questions, the answers of which he already thought he knew, just to make sure he was right. For instance, he was given confirmation that dragons could communicate through sound as well, like Hiccup had begun to learn himself, though it was a much more basic form of interaction, which only allowed simple commands or requests.
This inner voice, to which Hiccup had just been introduced, allowed dragons to accompany their throat-noises with further sounds, meanings, and sentiments, although the complexity of the message depended on each species. Hiccup would still always talk with his normal voice of course, for he had not the faintest idea how to speak inside the Night Fury's mind. He had yet to discover his own inner voice, an ability which even Toothless could not help unlock, and which may not have been there in the first place. As a result, to any outsider, it would have looked like Hiccup was just talking by himself.
Hiccup also learned that dragons did not use actual languages, like those that humans employed. However, their inner voice was not merely another type of sound, for it had the power to also convey direct thoughts and emotions, like affection, or fear, or enmity. Stronger-minded dragons could even use this power to intimidate and bully weaker ones, though it was not considered noble behavior. Besides, not all dragons were the same, Toothless explained, some were more ancient and smarter, and some were just better with this skill than others, a notion Hiccup did not find surprising, given his experience with the winged creatures.
"So, you've actually been understanding and talking to me all this time?" Hiccup finally asked, once he managed to reconcile his skepticism with the current developments, although he was still pacing back and forth. He had been aware of his friend's ever improving ability to understand him, but, now that he could talk back, it all felt different somehow.
"Pretty much." Toothless nodded. "Does this change things?" He then asked, emanating concern, and letting out a low warble from his throat.
"Well… no, I guess not… I mean yes! Of course it changes things! For the better!" Hiccup yelled, raising his hands to his hair, laughing. "Gods! Toothless, this is awesome!"
Hiccup felt the sudden urge to hug the Night Fury, and then jump around the small glade by the caves, like the dragon had, but he was still dizzy and weak from his rough awakening, so he sat down cross-legged on the soft grass, rubbing his temples instead.
"Can other humans do this?" Hiccup asked. It was just one of many questions that sprung into his mind.
"I do not know. Maybe. But not all dragons can do what I did. And I do not think all humans are so… open-minded? Yes, open-minded."
"So… I'm probably the only one," Hiccup murmured, wondering about the implications.
This was obviously going to change his life. Though, for better or worse, it was unlikely to have an impact on the history of the Archipelago. At least, that's what Hiccup assumed, given his experience with the ingrained beliefs that all Vikings shared regarding the fire-breathing creatures. Besides, one talking Night Fury was unlikely to be enough to change generations of bloodshed; even Hiccup could see this much, especially after his failure to bridge the gap between the two species, when he had last faced a dragon in Berk's arena.
"I don't think there are other humans who can hear a dragon's voice," Toothless agreed. "I never heard about dragons talking to humans, or humans talking to dragons. So, you should be the only one. But still, I don't know for sure. I have not been in every place."
"Maybe you are righ- ...wait!" Hiccup exclaimed, overwhelmed by an abrupt surge of curiosity. "Where have you been? What places did you see? No, wait! Where were you born? And are there other Night Furies like you?! Do you have a family? Do you-"
A groan interrupted his flood of questions. Then, Toothless let out a draconic sigh, lowering his ear-plates to the back of his head in mock exasperation. "When I opened your inner ear, I forgot how talky you could be."
"Sorry," Hiccup said, chuckling coyly. He was not really sorry for his inquisitiveness, but he did not want to be rude either as he reacquainted himself with his friend. Still, Toothless seemed to know him well enough to understand that his rider was not going to desist anytime soon, at least not before he had his fill of answers.
"Night Furies, as you call us, do not have 'families'," Toothless explained. "We are… left, just before we hatch, but when we hatch we already know most things, like some birds and snakes, only we know a lot more. What we know depends on our… 'parents', as you call them, even if we never meet them. We do not meet others of our kind much either. We always fly alone."
Hiccup let out a rather sad humming noise of acknowledgment. "Wait. Does that mean you could always speak the human tongue?"
"No," Toothless replied casually. "I mostly learnt by hearing you talk. A lot. But I also knew a little before we met."
"What? How?!"
"It was forced on me by... Her. I can't remember how, but I know she wants the stronger dragons to listen to what the humans say during raids, so if humans say something useful, she can, uhmm… make? No… Plan? Yes, plan. She can plan better raids. I was like… her ears. She could understand what humans said through me… I think. I still do not know how she learned your human tongue."
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Hiccup protested. He felt his stomach turn with unease. For some reason, he had not expected to hear new information about the war. He suddenly realized there were much more important matters to discuss. "What are you talking about? Who is Her?"
"Oh... right," Toothless said. "You humans do not know about her. I guess I should explain."
And so the dragon did. He described what he knew about the war and the queen, what he remembered about being captured by her much stronger mind, and about the truth behind the raids, of which humans were entirely unaware, since no Viking ship had ever managed to approach the mist-shrouded shores of Dragon Island.
Toothless talked about the dragon-queen's terrible power over her slaves, about how she would force them to mate as early as possible, in order to keep their eggs hostage throughout the summer raids, so that, even if some dragons did escape her influence during the attacks, they'd still feel compelled to return, lest their offspring be killed. Instead of escaping, they'd always fly right back into the mists, where their minds would then be overpowered by her vile will once again. Toothless also described the queen's insatiable hunger, which would only increase, year after year, century after century.
When Hiccup finally grasped the magnitude of this astounding discovery, he felt as if drained from within. A mixture of sorrow, anger, and shock fought for his heart's attention. At the same time, a strange sense of relief washed over him. The dragons were not collectively at fault for the war. There was only one culprit to all of it. If defeated, the war was going to end. Vikings had always blamed the whole dragon-species collectively, but they were wrong, and Hiccup had finally found a way to prove it. He had just stumbled upon a piece of information that could turn the whole world upside down, though he did not know what to do with it. He still perceived a sudden, jarring responsibility. Strange, muddled thoughts and ideas began to form inside his mind, but Toothless caught him before he could hatch some crazy plan.
"Do not even think about going to the Dragon Island to see her." Toothless warned firmly, and, through their strange connection, Hiccup could feel the crippling sense of fear that the dragon was harbouring for that place. "If I fly close to her again, my mind will be taken, and then we will both die. She will be very angry if she finds out I was not killed that night," he continued, imbuing the words with an absolute certainty, but he then hesitated: "I cannot fight her. She is a more ancient kind than me. I am not… I am not strong enough."
"You? Not strong enough? A Night Fury?!" Hiccup exclaimed with honest disbelief. He had always thought of Night Furies as the most formidable dragons in all of Midgard; such were the legends surrounding them, and such was his admiration for his friend. Nonetheless, Hiccup's odd disappointment could not compare with the dragon's obvious shame on the matter. This was probably Toothless' most sensitive topic of conversation. Guilt and remorse for his thoughtless comment welled up abundantly in Hiccup's gut.
"I'm sorry," he muttered quickly.
"It is fine," the dragon replied, failing to conceal his damaged pride. "Still, it is not just about her body. It is her mind. But, if you want to talk about size, she is as big as that hole at the top of the mountain." He pointed his snout towards the tip of their island's lone, dormant volcano, the feet of which housed the nearby caves where they had both spent the last couple of rainy nights.
"What?! This volcano's mouth?! She's THAT huge?!"
The dragon nodded sullenly.
"But… if she's so big, why doesn't she just… stomp on Berk, and win the war?" Hiccup asked, incredulous.
"The queen does not like to move; she has become too big," Toothless explained. "I think that if she wanted to fly and make fire, she would need to eat food in the winter too. I do not think there is enough food in the sea and on your islands for her to both fly and live all year. Her huge body would get hungry too quickly, and she would die. Also, she is not stupid. She knows it is better for her to keep some of you alive, so you humans can keep making food for her. This way she can get bigger, without using her strength. To her, this was never a 'war', like you call it. She is not like an enemy; she is a… what is the word... Curse. She is a curse. You can only fly away from it."
Hiccup, once again, was left speechless. His heart had begun to drum faster in his chest as he absorbed all this new, incredible information, the weight of which was starting to overpower him. He could feel nervous shivers under his ribcage. To think that he'd learned all this in a single day; it was too much. He had just heard things no Viking had ever known.
He considered finding some way to inform Berk, but he could conceive of no actual solution to this problem, only ways of making it worse. After Toothless' descriptions, he began to fear that stirring such a horrific foe would only end up in more bloodshed, for dragons and humans alike. How could anyone kill a monster so big?
Hiccup could already imagine the brave Hairy Hooligans, and especially his father, ordering him to lead them directly to this dragon-queen (assuming they even believed his story), and charging blindly towards a pointless slaughter. He was probably going to get his people's respect back, but what use was the respect of dead men? Perhaps he ought to try something himself, but what could a hiccup do, that a Night Fury could not have done a thousand times better?
"Listen, I know you are a curious human," Toothless continued, gauging his rider's thoughtful expressions, "but I am never going near that place again. I would rather be eaten by eels."
Hiccup did not need to feel the waves of distress emanating from Toothless to know the dragon was dead serious.
"Can't we stop her somehow?" Hiccup asked hopelessly. Part of him was surprised that he even cared. He was an outcast, banished by his people. Besides, he was safe here; they both were. He had no reason to get involved. Yet, he still felt the duty to at least ask the question, if only for humanity's sake: "Is there really nothing we can do?"
"Like what?" Toothless replied. "Make her choke on whale's bones? No. Not with a mind that strong. As soon as I see the mist, I will become... Please." He cooed an imploring sound. "I have been a... slave, for long enough."
The Night Fury spoke the word 'slave' with the same agony a man would feel trying to swallow an open pine-cone.
"I understand," Hiccup said, realizing he could barely comprehend the horror that his friend associated with the experience. He had never seen Toothless look so helpless and terrified, not even when he had found him in Raven Point's cove, injured, trapped, and unable to catch a single fish from the small pond.
"I promise," he added reassuringly, agreeing that there was probably nothing they could do, even if Toothless had approved.
Hiccup had the feeling he had pried too far into his friend's past for one day. Yet, on impulse, another simple, but sensitive question escaped his lips: "How long were you a s-… captive?"
Toothless did not respond for a while. He looked at the clear afternoon sky, thoughtful. "I do not know," he replied, letting out a forlorn hum.
"You don't? Then… how old are you?"
Toothless shrugged with his wings. "I am not sure. I had seen sixteen winters before I was caught, but my body has grown a bit since then. I still do not know how the years look on Night Fury scales, so I cannot say how long I was a… captive. Maybe ten, maybe a hundred years. Maybe more. But it is better like this. I do not want to know."
"A hundred years?! How long do Night Furies live?!" Hiccup asked again, swayed by another wave of curiosity.
"I think at least five hundred winters. I am not sure, though," Toothless replied, trying to sound encouraging, but to whom, Hiccup could not tell.
Hiccup weighed the numbers in his head. He considered pointing out the fact that the notorious 'Offspring of Lightning and Death' was known to occasionally appear in raids since long before his father was born, but he quickly changed his mind. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would feel like to have so many years of one's life stolen in that way. If Toothless did not want to know, then he was not going to say anything. Besides, there could very well have been other Night Furies under the queen's control in the past. Hiccup tried to find something heartening to say instead.
"If you only remember sixteen winters, then sixteen years is your age. If that's how old you feel, it doesn't matter how old your body is. Right?"
Toothless nodded slowly, and offered a brief gummy smile in return, though he seemed otherwise unwilling to linger on the topic. Hiccup was happy to avoid the subject as well, especially the part about their differing lifespans. He knew it would come up someday, but he did not mind postponing that gloomy conversation to another time, in some distant future.
Despite the air of unease, Hiccup felt the need to learn about one last thing, partly out of concern for himself, but also for his very best friend.
"Toothless, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he opened, hesitantly, "but… what's it like? Having your mind… taken."
"You do not need to worry," the dragon said. "It is too hard for a dragon to enter a human mind, even an 'open' one like yours, even just to talk. I can only do it with you because you are letting me. And it is still very hard. Human minds are just too different. If you keep yours closed, no dragon will be able to feel your inner ear, let alone control you. Even the queen. Of this I am sure."
"Oh," Hiccup murmured, relieved, but also rather unsatisfied with the answer, for that was not why he had asked.
Toothless saw it, and, before his rider could complain, he exhaled and asked: "How do you say when you are choking, but with water?"
"You mean drowning?" Hiccup suggested.
"Yes. It is like drowning," the dragon continued, "only it never stops, and you never die, even if you want to. You cannot die, because you are breathing, but it still feels like there is water around, and the water is dark, like squid... how you say… ink. You cannot see. Maybe sometimes you can… a little bit, but it is not…" He looked pensive for a moment. "I do not have the words to describe it."
"And you were conscious all the time?!" Hiccup probed further with renewed concern.
"Yes… and no. When the queen is in your mind, you do not know time," Toothless explained. "You do not feel if you sleep or not. You do not know day or night. You just… drown. You still feel pain, and also hungriness. That I know because the queen forgets to make us eat during the last raids, so she can eat more before she rests. We are weaker in those raids. That is how you hit me. Yes, your bola-thing-weapon was good, but I was also slower that night, because my body was hungry. I am glad she sent me to attack anyway."
The moment the dragon mentioned the weapon Hiccup had both built and used that fateful night, Hiccup's heart jumped in his chest. He was aware that Toothless knew the identity of the one responsible for the loss of his flight. Still, he had never expected the day would come when he'd have to actually discuss what he had done. Hiccup felt guilt rise anew regarding the old matter, mostly because he had never really apologized. Sure, he had tried his best to make up for it with his craftsmanship, but he had never said the words.
Is it too late to do it now? He wondered, worrying about his friend's response.
"I'm really sorry about your tail, you know," Hiccup muttered gloomily, looking down at the strands of grass he was weaving between nervous fingers.
The dragon's face softened. "I know. But... I never blamed you. Maybe at first, but not for long. You saved me that night."
The confession instantly loosened the stiffness in Hiccup's chest. He could almost taste the sincerity accompanying those words, in such a way that it made his eyes sting.
"Better one day of freedom, than a lifetime as a slave," Toothless continued, "and you have given me much more than one day. You also make me fly again, so you do not have to apologize. I forgave you long ago."
Overcome with relief, Hiccup let out a brief hum of acknowledgement, but he did not look up to the dragon's face, afraid his friend would notice the tears welling up in his own eyes.
"I'm still sorry about it…" he said, "and about your past. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, and… and… I just… I didn't know."
Hiccup felt the sudden urge to sob. He felt both terribly sad and amazingly happy, and, to top it all off, he was still feeling overwhelmed by all this new, mind-boggling knowledge. Toothless approached him, and brushed the crown of his head along his shoulder, letting out a soft purr. Hiccup could not resist. Still sitting, he raised his arms, and embraced the Night Fury's neck as tightly as his muscles would allow.
"Why are you doing that?" Toothless asked with some dismay when they broke the hug.
"Doing what?"
"That thing with your eyes. I do not like it."
"Oh… you mean crying? Sorry," Hiccup replied, lowering his gaze again, and drying his tears with his sleeves. "I just… It's so much to take in. Everything. I never knew you suffered like that, and… I just… I don't know. I can be a crybaby sometimes," Hiccup confessed, chuckling, sniffing the strange mixture of emotions away. When his eyes were dry again, he smiled at the dragon.
Toothless smiled his toothless smile in return.
"Now you tell me this," the dragon began, finally changing the subject to ask a question of his own. "Who are these 'gods' you mention so often?"
Hiccup breathed in deeply. "Oh boy," he said under his breath, leaning back on his hands. He realized he could not have been given a question on a topic he was less knowledgeable about. He had always felt that the more he heard people talk about the gods, the less he would understand. Besides, the only authority Hiccup trusted on the matter had become mute, so he was not even confident regarding what little he knew. Nonetheless, Hiccup tried to explain the basics about Odin and Thor, Freya and Loki, and about Asgard and Valhalla.
Hiccup had to interrupt his jumbled lesson quite abruptly, however, as he began to bleed again from his nose. He failed to notice it at first, but Toothless intervened immediately.
"We should stop," the dragon cut in. "I think your brain is not used to this. You must rest now."
Before he could complain, the Night Fury's presence left his mind, and Hiccup finally felt an unnoticed headache ebb away as well. He realized he had been ignoring the pain all this time, enthused by his first ever conversation with a dragon.
Hiccup decided to heed to his friend's suggestion. After happily gathering his things from the cave, they both made their way through the sun-warmed forest, towards their camp near the beach, where their other dragon-friends lazed, and played, and puttered around.
As soon as they arrived, Hiccup saw Toothless cast a peculiar look towards Sharpshot, the greenest and friendliest of the three Terrible Terrors with whom they shared the island. For a very brief moment, the little dragon appeared strangely unsettled, and, for the first time since their arrival on that island, it seemed like Sharpshot was feeling uneasy before the Night Fury's presence. It all lasted a mere instant, but Hiccup caught the odd exchange.
The fleeting look in Toothless' eyes seemed oddly familiar, although Hiccup had never observed it on a dragon's face before. It was a haughty look, somehow similar to the smug look some of the older boys on Berk would offer to all the other guys on the island, after returning from the forest one day, claiming they had managed to get intimate with a girl. Their look said: 'That's right, I am a man now. I'm better than you,' with all the self-satisfaction in the world.
Hiccup had seen it happen a few times among the older boys, for he occasionally observed their interactions from afar. He used to do this just in case he could learn how to be more like them, in the desperate hope to become better accepted by his own peers, or perhaps in the hopeless attempt to one day get intimate with a girl himself. Alas, he had never learnt their secret.
In fact, Hiccup had never even kissed anyone up to that point in his life, unlike almost everyone else he knew (or had known), except for… He could not actually remember hearing any talk of Astrid Hofferson ever kissing someone. Not the deaf farmer's son, like he'd heard of Ruffnut, nor Helga's youngest daughter, like he had about both Snotlout and Tuffnut. (Quite the little scandal there.) Even Fishlegs had once shyly boasted about receiving a kiss on the lips from some trader's daughter, when they were ten.
Hiccup was again far behind his peers in that strangely relevant sort of competition, but perhaps Astrid was too. Had ever a rumor come to his ears about Astrid kissing someone, Hiccup would have certainly been able to remember so, and painfully too. The mere fact that he had never heard anything of the sort made him hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he was still the one destined to steal the fierce maiden's first kiss.
He was, of course, shamefully aware of how stupid a hope that was. After all, being an outcast, leagues away from the girl of his fantasies, was only the smallest of the obstacles towards that impossible dream.
Despite the vastly different circumstances, Hiccup found it very amusing to see Toothless sneakily brag about their new connection in that familiar way, especially considering it was a 'competition' between a mighty Night Fury and a much smaller Terror. Hiccup had long begun to realize that Toothless was quite the jealous beast, and he was already aware of the playful feud between the two dragons regarding the affections of the lone human. Still, Hiccup could not help giggling at their bickering, partly because it was entertaining, but also because it was rather flattering.
When younger, most of the other Berkian kids used to fight for the privilege of not having Hiccup on their team whenever they played tug of war, or some similar game. Having someone fight over his affection was therefore strangely gratifying. Besides, Hiccup knew Toothless would never abuse his power over the little Terror. He was actually quite polite, or perhaps just too proud to consider Sharpshot a worthy opponent. Either way, Hiccup never felt the need to intervene.
He still tried to share his attentions equally amongst all his dragon-friends. The three Terrors, the Zippleback, and even the shy Monstrous Nightmare, they had all grown friendlier and friendlier towards him, and Hiccup had slowly begun to think of them as members of his own new family. Of course, Hiccup would never fly on top, or sleep underneath any other dragon's wings. Toothless was the only one who could claim those privileges.
Nonetheless, once Hiccup settled himself again near the border between forest and beach, by his unfinished wooden shelter, he attempted to reach out and listen to the inner voices of the other dragons, just as he had with Toothless. Unfortunately, he could not hear anything. Only Toothless knew how to bridge the gap between their minds, and even he seemed to find it a difficult task. If Hiccup ever wanted to perceive the other dragons' minds, he would need to learn how to break that barrier himself, assuming it was even possible.
In spite of this barrier however, Hiccup did not feel any less close to his other scaly friends, with whom he decided to spend the rest of the afternoon. He hadn't seen much of them during the last couple of rainy days, which had forced him to find shelter in the caves inland, where dragons had no particular interest in venturing. It was sunny now, however, and the sand was warm, and so was the salty breeze.
So, Hiccup ate, and played with Sharpshot, and tickled Bolt, whilst wearing Twitch, the smallest of the Terrors, as a yellow, winged hat. Then, he chased Khnut (the Zippleback), and spent some time scratching the 'Shymare's' neck to her satisfaction, which was signaled through a delighted lick on Hiccup's face. All the while, Toothless watched contentedly, his jealousy now much abated, waiting for the human's mind to rest, before their next conversation.
The days passed merrily for all the fire-breathing creatures on this forgotten island of the Viking seas, and even more so for one non-fire-breathing creature living there: namely, Hiccup.
Summer had finally peaked, and this was the only time in the Archipelago when one could say it was actually warm. The pleasant season lasted for months in theory, yet, on Berk, there was but a delicious handful of weeks when Hiccup no longer had to shiver his way to the outhouse in the chill of morning, in order to release his night's water. South as he was now, this span of weeks seemed to last slightly longer than it would have on his native island.
Hiccup spent most of these delightful days working on the construction of his wooden shelter, and, each time his mind was rested enough, he'd pause his work to jump into another eager chat with Toothless, until he was finally able to keep his inner ear open without getting a headache, a nosebleed, or occasionally fainting (though that had only happened twice).
Hiccup found that a quick dip into the temperate summer sea would always make him feel better after their prolonged conversations, and especially after his carpenter's work, for the sea would help cool off his body and wash away the sweat. It all made Hiccup remember how much he actually loved swimming, particularly on this island, where nobody was going to mock him for not taking off his smallclothes, as was instead the norm for such activities among Berkians, male and female both. Even on this deserted island, inhabited only by a handful of dragons and himself, Hiccup did not feel daring enough to swim completely bare.
After his pleasant swims, Hiccup would always go back to sawing, hacking, tying, gathering stone, and wood, and dirt. He had decided to reuse the hole in the ground near that particularly flat patch of forest by the beach (where he had found the buried crate of Berserker supplies), to avoid the need to dig a hole himself for the main wooden pillar of his hut, the shape of which resembled more closely that of a tent, rather than a normal Viking abode.
It was easier to build this way, for Hiccup would merely need to tie the slimmer logs together, and then lean them like many rafters on a single, long, central ridge, giving the section of the shelter a triangular shape. He then planned to cover the sides and back with dirt and leaves for insulation, and use the heavy sail-canvas he had found amongst the Berserker supplies for the entrance, not unlike a Viking tent. Hiccup had also found a way to embed a makeshift stone fireplace to one side, near the center of the space, in such a way to release the smoke outside, but still covered by a small flat roof, which would keep the rain from falling on the fire.
Building a normal house, with regular planks of wood, walls, a roof, and a central hearth, would have been far too difficult and time-consuming for a single thirteen-year-old boy, no matter how ingenious. Even so, Hiccup had never toiled as much as he was now. Despite his blacksmith's callouses, his hands were constantly blistered and raw. He earned scrapes and cuts on every limb, and, fearing infection more than pain, he made quick use of Gothi's salve.
Of course, Hiccup had never enjoyed feeling pain, unlike truer Vikings did, at least according to their boastful claims. Yet, despite the dull aches, cuts, splinters, and sore muscles, for the first time in his life, Hiccup felt like these were all good pains. He appreciated their meaning. He was proud of the work behind them. These pains gave him purpose.
At last, after nearly four months of exile, Hiccup could say he had found the things he missed the most: a purpose, a confidant, a family, and, soon, an actual house too.
Things were finally looking up.
AN: The phenomenon Hiccup experienced as he woke at the beginning of the chapter is an attempt at describing (with some artistic license) an episode of cervical vertigo. I hope I've managed to render the idea somewhat effectively.
I also hope you've found my interpretation of Hiccup's first conversation with Toothless, and my take on the mechanics of the war, if not interesting, at least plausible.
Thank you for reading!
EXTRA NOTE 1 (HICCUP'S SHELTER): I've posted a 3D rendering of the design for Hiccup's shelter on my deviantart. There is also a copy on my tumblr blog. Links to both are always on my profile page.
EXTRA NOTE 2 (TOOTHLESS'S AGE): I'm going to disregard Valka's comment in the second movie about Toothless being the same age as Hiccup. Mostly, because it's not explained how she knows this for certain. Has she met other Night Furies? And if so, why doesn't it come up? I'm sure Hiccup would have been very interested. If she hasn't, then how can she be sure? Not all dragons have those little fins that she flicks as she says: "He's your age!"
It's also an unnecessary coincidence, which doesn't add to the story in the least. I tend to dislike such contrivances, so I just gave Toothless an age that I felt would be consistent with his experiences. Not that it matters much, but I expect some might feel conflicted about my canon-divergence on this little point, so I wanted to clarify my position.
