Craig
"No, he's doing this because he's a dirty Jew Elf and he wants to win!" Cartman was pacing back and forth between his Castle while the meager amount of Human warriors he'd been able to summon at this time of night stood before him. He was currently on the phone, holding the device out in front of him while keeping it on speakerphone. Craig felt bad for the poor kid who'd been woken up for something so petty and stupid.
"But it wasn't technically against the rules," The boy on the other end of the line protested, his voice slightly muffled. Cartman groaned and dragged a hand across his face. It was almost amusing watching him get so upset, but Craig wasn't easily amused and to be honest, he didn't want to be out at this time of night either.
Tweek was standing next to him, shivering from the cold. Craig could hear his teeth clacking together, the sound more than a little distracting. They were all dressed in their costumes again, and at this time of night, after the sun had set, it was freezing outside. So here Tweek was, shirtless once again and not better off for it.
Craig's mind instantly went to his mystifying conversation with Token. He will never be scared of you. That's what the black boy had said, with such conviction that Craig had almost wanted to believe him. How did he even get me to talk about that? It didn't really matter, in the end, it was just another thing Craig found himself thinking about. It felt like he just kept getting hit with reasons to stay away from Tweek, which pissed him off. Mostly for reasons he didn't even understand.
What he wanted to do was wrap his cloak around Tweek's shoulders and be done with it, but something in him warned that this wouldn't be a good idea. Not when Cartman was already in a foul mood and the fat boy was the very person that Craig most wanted to protect Tweek from.
Of course, at that moment, Cartman was more than a little preoccupied. "But it was complete bullshit!" he was screeching into the phone, his entire body conveying how annoyed he was. "You can't just show up in the middle of the night, beat up a princess, then take the Stick! That should be common sense!"
Eye's gravitating towards Kenny, Craig had to admit that he looked worse for wear. His wig was tangled and dirty and his dress was stained and torn but the boy sat there regardless, a grave expression on his features. How does it feel to have two of your friends turn against you? Craig wondered, snorting under his breath. That wasn't to say he was glad about Kenny getting his ass handed to him, but at the same time, he wished he could have seen it.
"Well, to be fair, you did kinda cheat with the whole Cleric thing. You would have lost that battle if you hadn't bent the rules like that," the gamekeeper pointed out, yawning. Craig glanced at Token, who shrugged and turned back to Cartman. "Why can't we deal with this tomorrow?" the boy Cartman was talking to all but begged. "It's pretty late…"
"Because," Cartman started, like it was obvious. "We're taking the Stick back tonight. That Jew Elf is not going to get away with this kind of shit!" Craig's eyes traveled over the gathered kids skeptically at those words. They'd only been able to get together a dozen, roughly, considering the time. All of the Humans looked tired, most of them having been awakened by the call to arms. So far, all they'd gotten to do was listen to Cartman gripe over the phone, which wasn't exactly the most riveting of activities.
Tweek's teeth kept chattering. Craig was about ready to throw in the towel and just go home, taking the blond with him. This wasn't worth it. Damnit, why are we even here? His house was just a block away, they could be there in a few minutes, whereas this could go on for an hour or more.
"You can't attack their base at night," the game master argued. "That's against the rules, you'll have to wait until morning." Craig looked up at the sky. Thank fuck. Can we leave now?
Cartman looked ready to hit someone. "But Kyle did it! He fucking came here like the sneaky Jew he is and took the Stick of Truth in the middle of the night! That's fucking bullshit!"
From behind them, there was the squeak of a door. Tweek yelped as if someone had hit him and twitched hard at the unexpected noise. As light spilled out over their gathering, Cartman's mom called, "Sweetie, it's getting late. You should probably be quiet when you're talking to your little Druid friends."
"Oh my god Mom, we're not fucking Druids! We're Warriors of Zaron!" Cartman snapped at his mother, his beady eyes narrowing.
"Well why don't you and your Warriors keep your voices down?" his mother suggested, still in that absently pleasant voice. Craig wasn't really paying attention to the conversation; his focus was on Tweek, who still hadn't calmed down. Catching the boy's eye, Craig tried to communicate without words that everything was going to be fine. All Tweek did was twitch harder and make an involuntary sound.
"Ugh, shut up mom!" Cartman spat, glaring venomously at his mom.
"Okay Sweetie, just be inside soon," the woman said as if her son wasn't a total monster. Craig rolled his eyes. Times like these, he realized that his family wasn't the only dysfunctional one in South Park. As the door was closed, plunging them back into dim lighting, Cartman stared back down at his phone.
Apparently sensing the interruption was over, the boy on the other end of the line said, "We added a rule after it happened. You'll have to attack him tomorrow, otherwise, the battle won't count." As if deciding that was that, the boy finished with a clipped, "Goodnight," and hung up.
"Oh boy," Cartman muttered, kneading his forehead in an attempt to calm down. Craig just stood there between Clyde and Tweek, silent and patient. They'd been standing outside for a while now, waiting for Cartman to get off the phone with one of the game masters. The subject? The Stick of Truth, and the fact that Kyle and Stan had apparently broken into the kingdom and stolen it while no one was around. To be honest, Craig was a little hazy on the details, he'd only figured out that much from what he'd heard Cartman saying over the phone and what Token had told him.
"Um…" Stott Malkinson tentatively raised his hand. "What's going on?" A valid question, one Craig would have asked himself if he wasn't so preoccupied with being irritated at the whole thing in general.
Cartman gave another long sigh of utter exhaustion. "I need a moment. Princess Kenny, would you like to tell our warriors what happened tonight?" Getting to his feet, Kenny bobbed his head at Cartman before walking before the other boys.
Fixing each of them with calm eyes, Kenny disclosed, "I was staying late tonight, studying our strategy, when it happened." Running fingers through tangled blond hair, the boy continued, "I had just put out the lights when I heard a rustling from around the corner. I hid, wanting to know who it was." Craig struggled not to roll his eyes. Why Kenny couldn't just tell them the story normally was beyond him.
"I assumed it was going to be Cartman, but when no one came around the front, I started to grow worried. Of course, I grabbed the Stick, not wanting anything to happen to it." Putting a hand to his forehead, Kenny gave a great sniffle. "The High Elf and his right-hand Ranger appeared before I had time to run. I tried to fight them but it was just too much. They overpowered me and took the Stick before I could stop them!"
Several of the gathered kids gasped. Tweek let out a shriek and tugged at his hair, making Craig's stomach clench. He could care less about Kenny's dramatic retelling of the story, all he cared about was the boy beside him, who just kept twitching and shivering. Don't do anything stupid.
Finally done pouting, Cartman stepped forward and put a hand on Kenny's shoulder. "Thank you, Lady McCormick," he said, his voice coated in sympathy. "I know that was very hard for you." Looking at the rest of the people gathered, Cartman continued, "Gentlemen, tonight, the Stick of Truth was stolen from us by the wicked Drow Elves. They used underhanded and dirty tactics that were complete bullshit to do so. Now, we are at a disadvantage. We have been slighted, and what's more, Kyle won't answer my Facebook messages. This will not stand."
Looking at each of them, the boy started pacing again. "I called you all here in the hope that we could reclaim the Stick tonight and keep the Elves from gaining any sort of advantage. Unfortunately, fighting them at night is suddenly cheating so getting the Stick back tonight is out of the question."
"So then what are we doing tonight?" Clyde asked, tilting his head. Cartman groaned, as if asking a simple question was just too much for him to handle. Craig on the other hand quite agreed with Clyde, if they weren't going to fight, then why had they come all this way? I could be at Token's right now. Tweek could be warm and happy instead of freaking out and shivering.
"If there's nothing we can do tonight, can we go home now?" another kid asked, sounding tired. Cartman glared at the boy, who just said, "We can figure it out later!"
"Look, if you're not useful, you can go home," Cartman grumbled, obviously not happy about the fact. "Everyone else is going to help plan out an attack against the Drow Elves. That means Princess Kenny, Clyde, and myself are going to stay. Paladin Butters was unfortunately detained, but we will have to make do. The rest of you are free to go, though be warned, we will be riding against the Elves tomorrow."
Tiredly, those who had not been named started to filter out of Cartman's backyard, their gratefulness at being dismissed clear. Craig was tempted to leave as well, but when Token didn't move, he resigned himself to staying. Beside him, Tweek whipped his head around, looking between Craig and the people leaving before whimpering and staying as well. For a moment, Craig debated whether he should just leave with Tweek, but when Clyde shot him a pleading look, he resigned himself to staying.
"Hmph," Cartman huffed, watching the other kids leaving sourly. "We should probably get working, there is no time to waste," the boy muttered, turning around and heading for the castle. "Daylight will come soon."
Clearing his throat, Token stepped forward. "If I may, Grand Wizard," he said, his tone level and calm. "I would like the opportunity to help with your strategies, I feel I may be of some use." Turning back towards the black boy, Cartman narrowed his eyes.
"Token, you just joined today, what makes you think that you know the Drow Elves better than I do?" Cartman asked, sneering. Tweek squeaked out something about pressure, but Token didn't move, he just blinked peacefully.
"I've been studying them for a while now," Token admitted, which caused Cartman to frown suspiciously but also caused Kenny to raise his eyebrows. "I know how they operate and I think I can help improve your strategy." Narrowing his eyes, Cartman just stared at Token. As Craig had expected, Token didn't flinch.
"If I may," Kenny interjected, coughing daintily behind his hand. "I think that Token might be of some use. Give him a chance at least, Grand Wizard." Batting his eyelashes at Cartman, Kenny clasped his hands together, and said pleadingly, "For me?"
With a great sigh, Cartman said, "Very well Princess Kenny. Token, I suppose you can join." Beckoning them forward, Cartman said, "Now come along, we might be able to reach Butters through the scrying mirror."
"How wonderful, I'm sure Butterfree would be delighted to see your face in the scrying mirror," Kenny told Cartman with an odd light in his eyes before primly spinning on his heels and striding into the castle. As his skirts vanished, he called, "Careful with your warriors, Grand Wizard!"
Grumbling something under his breath, Cartman strode after the Princess, his staff making a tap, tap, tap, as he followed the boy up the drawbridge. Token and Clyde took half a beat longer to leave, Craig didn't blame them. He didn't want to be anywhere near Cartman at the moment either. Beside him, he heard a soft, "Ngh- oh god-" and his mouth tightened into a hard line.
Nodding to Clyde and Token when the two boys looked back at him, Craig instantly focused his attention on Tweek. The boy was staring at him like he was caught between panic and doing nothing. He was back in his battle outfit, the pan he'd been given as a club already secured by his belt. Though he looked cool, all Craig cared about was the fact that he was whimpering and shivering.
"Jesus man," he hissed, crossing his arms over his chest and hunching his shoulders. "Why would they do something like that? Do you think someone betrayed us?! W-what if Princess Kenny is a traitor?! What if they're all secretly working for the aliens?" Sighing, Craig moved closer, against what was probably his better judgment. Fuck it, no one's here anymore anyway.
Reaching out an arm, Craig grabbed Tweek's shoulder and pulled the boy closer, just like he'd wanted to do for the past twenty minutes. "She- He isn't a traitor, Kenny's just a dumbass," Craig told Tweek firmly, using his other hand to pull his cloak around Tweek's bare shoulders. Though his shivering didn't stop, his twitching stilled considerably. "It'll be fine, we'll kick the Elves' asses and get the Stick back."
When Tweek didn't say anything more, Craig carefully nudged the boy towards the low wooden bench someone had set up at some point. Sweeping the leaves off of it, Craig sat down, pulling Tweek with him. Easily, Tweek relaxed against Craig, allowing the boy to more firmly wrap his cloak around him.
"H-how long do you think they'll be in there?" Tweek asked, his hair brushing against Craig's chin. Lifting a hand, Craig put it in Tweek's hair, even though he didn't really need to. He trusts me… Why am I letting Cartman get to me?
"Dunno," Craig answered simply. "Not too long." Dragging his gloved hand through Tweek's hair for a moment more, the Noirette let his hand fall back to his side. Almost at once, Tweek's head fell against Craig's chest, like he was too tired to keep it up. Craig felt something in his chest go tight, but he didn't understand why, so he ignored it.
Lazily, his attention strayed, his eyes wandering up towards the clear sky. Above them, the galaxies spread beautifully, like a shining blanket. Slowly, he let his eyes trail over the softly glittering stars. So much better than anything I can put up on my ceiling… Nudging Tweek to get his attention, Craig waited for the boy's head to come up before pointing up. "Look."
Tweek's tired eyes blinked then widened as they stared up at the sky. Mouth parting in a silent oh, the blond asked, in a hushed voice, "Do you know all of those?" Watching Tweek's wonder, all those dazzling lights reflected back in vivid green, Craig found a smile tugging on his mouth.
"I know some," he said noncommittally, easily able to recall the different star maps he'd spent hours reading and rereading. With his free hand, he traced a grouping of stars and said softly, "That one's Sagittarius right there." Moving his hand up, he continued, "And that's Aquila the Eagle, I think."
As he spoke, Tweek's head fell back to Craig's chest, though he was still following Craig's hand, a peacefully happy expression on his face. Though the Noirette could still feel the boy shivering, it was much less, now that he'd been warmed up a bit and successfully distracted. Gradually, Craig managed to get distracted as well as his concentration was placed on remembering as many constellations as possible.
It was fun, and he found himself smiling through the entire thing. Tweek's breathing got slower as time passed and Craig found himself starting to run out of constellations to point to, but he didn't much care. Honestly, he was content, just sitting there with Tweek.
"It's too late in the season to see all of it, but that's Taurus right over there," Craig was saying, pointing to the horizon. "But right above it is Perseus. And there's his Pegasus above him, get it?" When Tweek didn't answer, Craig glanced down at the boy. Somehow, he was unsurprised to find the blonde's eyes closed in sleep. Huh, I didn't know he could sleep. He looked so peaceful though, Craig didn't want to wake him up.
Suddenly, another person slid onto the bench beside Craig. Turning, Craig's mood soured when he found Kenny McCormick resting his interlaced hands on his knee while he batted his eyelashes at the Noirette. "Aww, look at our little Tweekers," Kenny cooed, his voice soft enough not to disrupt Tweek. "He's so cute when he's asleep." Tugging on a piece of his hair, the boy hummed and muttered, "Actually, when was the last time that he actually slept?" Sticking out his bottom lip, he said, "Must be all tuckered out from a full day of fighting."
Flipping Kenny off, Craig muttered, in an even softer voice, "What do you want McCormick?"
Flattening a hand over his heart, Kenny opened his mouth in feigned horror. "Feldspar, breaking character so thoughtlessly? You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" Expression quickly slipping back into a grin, the boy primly corrected, "That would be Lady McCormick to you."
It was harder, Craig realized, to slip into his usual mindless, careless attitude when Tweek was around. Generally, something like Kenny talking to him wouldn't have even ruffled his feathers, but when Tweek was sound asleep on his shoulder and his hair kept brushing his chin and that somehow changed something. Craig wouldn't have been able to vocalize the feeling, but it was the reason that he simply fixed the boy before him with a flat stare and said, "What, Princess?" instead of something else.
Looking down at Tweek for a beat longer, Kenny did a half-turn on the bench so he could lean against Craig's free shoulder. "I just came to warn you, Fucker, about tomorrow." The high voice was gone, so too was the fake, princess-y airs he'd been putting on. Glancing upwards, the boy murmured, "You're going to get your ass handed to you and there's nothing you can do about it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Craig growled, wanting to push Kenny off of him but still unwilling to disturb Tweek. He didn't want to listen to cryptic warnings coming from annoying boys dressed up in pink satin and lace. What he wanted to do was go back to staring at the stars and just listening to Tweek's soft breaths but apparently, that was too much to ask for.
Thankfully, Kenny seemed to be in a sharing mood. "Cartman's going to send you against the Elves tomorrow and they're going to be beyond ready while you are only going to have yourself and a ragtag band of useless soldiers, courtesy of the planning of yours truly." He said this like Craig should be proud of him, which he most certainly fucking wasn't.
"So you're setting me up to fail?" Craig interjected, tone flat but eyes murderously boring into the back of Kenny's skull.
"You misunderstand me, Craig, I'm not setting you up to fail," Kenny corrected, finally straightening so he could do another quarter revolution and face the opposite way as the Noirette. "I'm setting us all up to succeed once Cartman pulls his shit together." Waving a hand dismissively, he continued, "He always does this, he always fails, it's always pretty pathetic, but he never learns."
"Why is he sending me though?" Craig asked, trying to figure out if he should be upset with Kenny or not.
Giving Craig a sly look, Kenny reached a gloved hand up and flicked the puffball on the top of Craig's hat. "Because he wanted to send Tweeky there, and I didn't think you'd be too happy about that." Apparently satisfied that he'd said his piece, Kenny got to his feet. "Now if you excuse me, there's a bed waiting somewhere that just has Princess written all over it. It's not mine, but it's somewhere."
Craig didn't say a word as the boy giggled and walked off.
Stirring from his resting place on his shoulder, Tweek blinked his eyes groggily and slurred, "Wh-what's going on?"
Hand instantly going to Tweek's hair, Craig softly answered back, "Nothing."
No, nothing at all… he thought. Aloud he said, "You must have been dreaming."
