Craig

Craig had never been a particularly outdoorsy sort of person. Seeing as how they lived in Colorado, a place that was either hot or freezing and always dry as bones, this made a certain amount of sense. His parents didn't exactly make a point of making him or his sister go outside anyway so it was sort of a moot point anyway. Besides, Craig didn't like it anywhere, outside or in.

But he'd still spent a fair amount of time outside, especially around Stark's Pond. Animals, after all, tended to talk a whole lot less than humans did and when the weather wasn't abysmal, it was nice to just sit around and be still. Though he didn't do it often, Craig had done it enough to have gotten good at a few basic skills.

This included a rudimentary understanding of how to scale trees. Actually, at this point, it was probably past rudimentary. Craig was pretty fucking good at getting around, providing that he had enough handholds to rely on. He wasn't as good as Kenny, for instance, but he was better than Clyde and Token. And if it came down to a matter of speed and not the difficulty of the climbing surface, then Craig probably outstripped even the Princess.

Which is why, after a ten-minute argument with Cartman during which Craig had mostly stayed silent while Kenny argued with the fat boy, it had been decided that Craig would take the group of kids he was going to be leading jointly out to the forest to practice climbing.

Craig was trying not to be annoyed; after all, it was ridiculous to be irritated at something like this. If I wanted to teach Tweek alone that badly I should have done it and not gone and asked Cartman first. Besides, why do I care? He'll learn either way, it'll be fine. I'm being fucking ridiculous. He should be focusing more on the task at hand, not how he felt about the hand-picked group of eight soldiers that he'd been allotted to lead with Tweek's help.

Said boy was currently walking a beat behind Craig. His hand was tangled in Craig's cloak, which made the Noirette feel slightly better about the whole thing (for whatever reason) but other than that, Tweek was acting perfectly confident. He'd been given a short sword to add to his already hefty collection of weapons and Craig had stopped by his parent's coffee shop with him in the morning to reapply the war paint, so he didn't look like his usual nervous self. He looked dangerous, and for that Craig was glad. He wanted the other kids to respect Tweek just as much as he himself already did. That's crucial for leadership, right?

Still though, he wished it were just him and Tweek…

Currently, they were walking past Kenny's house, which was Human territory, even though everyone generally avoided it. As they walked through it, Craig kept his eyes peeled for the hobos he'd heard inhabited the area. He knew better than to dismiss it as a rumor, Clyde had pictures of the bites the kids who'd crossed the homeless people had sustained. They'd been nothing short of nasty.

A few rats scurried out of a trash heap and Tweek growled involuntarily, his face twitching slightly as he followed the path of the animals with his eyes. Craig was rather impressed with how well the boy was doing, considering. Then again, he didn't doubt that Tweek was worried about making a fool of himself in front of the other boys, so that made a certain amount of sense.

"I don't understand," Terry, a fifth-grader, said softly, coming up on Craig's other side and walking beside him. "Why do the Elves want this territory at all? It's not particularly useful." Glancing sideways at the boy, who was a level six Mage, Craig thought the question through. He made a good point of course, but the Noirette knew no better than he why Kyle wanted this piece of land in particular.

As Craig opened his mouth, Tweek answered before he could. "I th-think it has something to do with Princess Kenny!" the boy squeaked, keeping a grip on Craig's cloak even as he drew ahead a little so he could look at the Mage. Glancing up at Craig as if to confirm his answer, Tweek continued, "W-wouldn't it be good to have control over the land around your enemies? So you can control them?"

Furrowing his brows, Terry fell back a pace and admitted, "I guess that makes sense." They weren't really supposed to be talking about the matter at all according to Cartman, but seeing as the boy wasn't here, Craig wasn't going to enforce the rule. Cartman had a habit of putting too many rules on his warriors after all.

"Too many fucking hobos for me," Craig commented, his voice flat. At the mention of the homeless people that were probably around, Tweek gave a hard shiver and Craig kept himself from patting the boy's head to calm him down. Instead he just glanced at Tweek and said, "It doesn't really matter though, if any show up, we'll defeat them." He'd said it to everyone, but he'd meant it for Tweek.

"Remember what happened to Keven though?" That was a level five Warrior, a third-grader named Jesse. He sounded more than a little apprehensive. "He did everything he could, but the drifter still got him!" At the memory that they apparently shared, several of Craig's and Tweek's fighters shivered.

"If I see one, I'll knock their teeth out!" another Warrior exclaimed. Turning to look at Russell with raised eyebrows, Craig recognized the fear the boy was trying to hide and he decided not to put him down for it.

Luckily, Tweek was one step ahead of him. "Yeah! We're warriors of Zaron, we're not –ngh- scared of any hobos!" Letting out a growl, Tweek exclaimed, "W-we're going to beat the Elves so good tomorrow, no one will ever dare c-cross us!" He sounded believable, probably because he meant every word. Marveling at the amount of courage Tweek could have when he wanted to, Craig snorted but didn't disagree with the boys. Well, we will beat them, there's no question about that.

As they stepped into the tree line, Craig beckoned forward Daniel, the only kid in the group who'd been there when Cartman had officially drawn the territory lines for this area, and asked, "So you know where the border is?" When the boy nodded, Craig spared him a nod of his own. "Good. That's where we'll practice." Cartman had mentioned there being a two boy patrol out here, just to keep order, and Craig's eyes kept glued to the trees, looking for them.

While Craig searched, Tweek tugged on his cloak, distracting him. Glancing down, Craig raised an eyebrow. Twitching hard, the boy asked, "W-what about fighting on the ground?" Sensing his remaining nervousness when it came to learning how to climb trees, Craig sighed. It's probably because there are so many people around. Eyes widening, Tweek suddenly hurried to say, "I mean, w-what if it's better to fight from the ground? I mean they're Elves so they all can climb and –gah!- N-Nevermind!"

"No, you have a point," Terry said, walking around Tweek's other side so he could look at Craig. "Are we going to have anyone on the ground?" Squashing the irritation that rose up at how everyone was still looking to him as the defacto leader, Craig chose to instead give the boy a bored look. Damnit, I wish it was just Tweek and me.

"Because the Elves fight in the trees so we should too!" piped up Ryan from the back, the only other fifth-grader apart from Terry. "We'll be at a disadvantage if we're on the ground."

Nodding along with this, Craig looked down at Tweek as he said, "If we can navigate the trees as well as the Elves, we'll get rid of their advantage and leave all of us on an even footing." Everyone else made sounds of agreement to this, but Craig only focused on Tweek, who still looked nervous. I'll protect you, he thought, knowing it was true. I would never let you get hurt.

Tweek tugged on the back of Craig's cloak again, but he looked more confident once more. "I guess that –grr- makes sense," he said his hand clenching around the handle of his pot. He'd been specifically told to leave his coffee behind today, and Craig suspected that was why his weapons had become his new thing he instinctively reached for. Jumpy, just like a real barbarian probably would be.

"Who goes there!" At the sound of that voice, Craig looked up and found the human guards above them in the branches of a pine tree. Lifting his hand, Craig waved once, showing that they were friendly. Unfortunately, the boy still aimed a bow at him, no doubt suspicious. He probably can't see shit from up there. God, Cartman's idea of Watchmen are stupid.

"W-we're here to learn how to climb trees!" Tweek called back, twitching. "Th-the Grand Wizard King and the Princess sent us!" When the arrow was directed at Tweek instead, the boy jerked, biting his lip visibly, no doubt to hold back a scream. Feeling an irrational amount of anger flare up at the thought of the watchman shooting Tweek, Craig gave into himself a little and allowed himself to put a hand on Tweek's shoulder and push the boy out of the way.

"It's Feldspar. The Grand Wizard said you'd be expecting us," Craig called up, his voice still even. Now that Tweek was out of arrow range, he felt a bit better. "Come on dude, don't be a shithead."

Walking forward till he could see up to the Archer, Daniel called, "Come on John, put on your glasses, I don't care that they're not cool. It's us." The boy raised his Jew staff and waved it around a few times as if to prove his point.

The other boy in the tree looked down at them and softly said something to John before calling. "Good day, fellow warriors. I hope your training goes to plan. Godspeed." Rolling his eyes and muttering something about D&D players, Daniel beckoned Craig forward and walked towards the small creek that cut through the forest.

"This was decided as the official border," the boy commented, looking to either side of them as if judging the trees. "The High Elf and the Grand Wizard had an argument that lasted for hours over whether the line should start on this side of the stream or on the other side. At last, Princess Kenny suggested that we just have the border be as wide as the stream and make the territory in between no man's land."

Not particularly interested in the history, Craig looked up at the trees before turning to the other boys. "How many of you know how to climb?" When everyone raised their hands, Craig raised an eyebrow and reworded his question. "How many of you know how to climb well?" Most of the hands went down, with the exception of Terry and Daniel. Nodding, Craig quickly did his own mental calculations before feeling Tweek tug at his cloak again.

Looking down at the twitching Tweek, Craig recognized the light of an idea in Tweek's eyes. "Where would you put them?" he asked softly, perfectly happy to let the boy have a say if he wanted one.

Eyes lighting up, Tweek suddenly scrambled to let go of Craig's cloak as he darted towards the trees. "B-because we have an even number of –ngh- fighters, we should spread them out evenly!" Tweek squeaked, darting between the boys as he looked around with wide eyes. "I t-talked to Token about this and he said that if we find the most likely place for people to cross, then we have a pass to funnel them through."

As he talked, his bright green eyes lit up like lamps. He was animated with his speech, waving his hands around as he worked it through. Craig liked watching Tweek talk; when he wasn't focused on the people around him, he practically glowed. With his war paint on and all the purpose of a fighter to his words, Tweek really did look like a warrior, not just Craig's shadow.

Nodding along with Tweek's plan, William asked, "But what if they don't just come through here?" Twitching at that, Tweek let out a half-screech as if only just remembering that point before he started pushing the boys into two groups.

"Th-that's why we'll split up! About half can be here where they're most likely to come through, b-but the ones who are fastest at climbing will be over along the tree line just in case, s-so they can move wherever they're needed." When he didn't actively have to think about climbing the trees himself, Tweek seemed much more comfortable with the whole plan. "Ghn- Each group will have t-two Warriors, one Mage, and one Jew."

Noticing that Tweek had put both of the good climbers in one group, Craig assumed that this group was the one that would be spread out. It made perfect sense, and Craig couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Of course Token would suggest something like that. Looking at the two separated groups, Craig announced, "Okay, let's start climbing then." Then he flipped them all off, which seemed to only embolden them.

Instantly all the boys started climbing trees. As they did, Tweek screeched after them, "P-PRETEND YOU'RE ACTUALLY FIGHTING. IF YOU'RE A WARRIOR, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE!"

Looking down at them, Brandon, the other third-grader, called, "What about you two? What's your strategy going to be?" Looking at the other climbing kids, the boy asked, "Aren't you going to be climbing too?"

Before Tweek could scream, Craig put a hand on his shoulder and called back, "We're going to scout out the rest of the tree line. If any Elves show up, try to get a carrier raven to Kupa Keep." Under his fingers, he could feel Tweek's twitching lessen, but not vanish entirely. When Brendon nodded and went back to trying to scale the pine he was clinging too, Craig pulled Tweek along further down into the forest.

"You did good," Craig commented once he was sure they were out of earshot of the other boys. Tweek looked up at him at those words and Craig didn't have a problem with putting a hand in the boy's hand then. Ruffling Tweek's admittedly soft blond hair, Craig said seriously, "I wouldn't have thought of that plan."

"I d-didn't," Tweek pushed out, grabbing onto Craig's cloak. "Token did." Letting his arm shift down till it was around Tweek's shoulders and pulling the boy against him, Craig thought about Tweek's statement. Heh, he must have stayed up later than I thought last night. I wonder if he slept at all?

To Tweek, Craig just said, "Okay," because he was most proud of how Tweek had handled himself in front of the other boys. It didn't really matter to him who'd come up with the plan, only that Tweek had delivered it on his own without Craig's help. Looking around them, Craig remembered why they'd split off from the group and picked a tree at random.

Stopping next to the maple, Craig let go of Tweek and stepped back. Without any sort of preamble, Craig said, "Climbing isn't that hard, you just need to make sure you have at least one hand and if possible one foot on a sturdy place at all times." Grabbing for one of the broken stumps that had once been a branch, Craig dug his fingers in and reached up for a low branch. With a flutter of his cape, Craig turned himself upside-down partially and hooked a leg over a branch. Once he was straddling the branch, Craig glanced down to Tweek, who was biting his nails. "See, it's not hard."

"Jesus man," Tweek hissed, grabbing for his hair and tugging hard. "I c-can't do that! I'll lose my grip and fall! I don't think I should b-be doing this after all." Unwilling to give up so easily, Craig stood up on the branch and swung himself upwards higher in the tree, using handholds to keep himself steady. As he executed one particularly deft maneuver, Tweek screamed and yelled, "YOU'RE GOING TO FALL!"

Looking down at Tweek, who looked especially tiny when he was so high up, Craig called, "No, I won't. And neither will you." Swinging down, Craig got to the lowest branch possible before dropping to the ground. Walking over to Tweek, who still had his hands tangled in his hair, Craig ignored the way his insides lurched slightly and instead ran his fingers through Tweek's hair until the boy had let go of it. "Do you want to try on this tree or on another?"

Eyes jumping everywhere, Tweek shook slightly and pointed to an old twisted oak tree. "Th-that one." He said it firmly enough that Craig decided to go with it. Walking over there, leading Tweek over there with a hand on the boy's back, Craig looked up at the tree before looking at Tweek again. "Oh Jesus…" the blond muttered, running around the tree once before deciding on a branch beside Craig. Putting one of his small hands on the weirdly protruding knot in the trunk, Tweek hoisted himself up and managed to catch onto the low branch.

"OH GOD THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" he screeched as his feet dangled above the ground and the hand clawing into the tree knot shook violently. Scraping his boots against the tree, Tweek let out a moan of terror. "I c-can't do this!"

"Yes, you can." Moving behind the boy Craig resolutely stood near Tweek and lifted his hands so they hovered over Tweek's ribs, just so he could catch the boy if he happened to fall. "Just put your foot in this hole and get a better grip. Nudging the foot to said hole, Craig watched as Tweek shivered and got a more secure hold on the knot of the tree.

With a shivery squeak, Tweek pulled himself up and scrambled to get his other foot into a deep groove in the knot. Looking down at Craig, who was still standing there patiently, Tweek visibly swallowed. From where he was, staring up at Tweek's admittedly long neck and his Adam's apple, which bobbed hypnotically when he swallowed, Craig felt something weird in his chest and spoke to distract himself from it. "You're doing great."

Turning back to the tree, Tweek hefted himself upwards and with one more push, he managed to get a knee around the branch he'd originally grabbed onto. Letting go of the knot so he could hold the arrows in his quiver and keep them from falling out, Tweek let out a whimper before sitting upright and grabbing for a new branch to keep himself steady. "D-did I do it?" he squeaked, his eyes tightly closed.

Using the same path Tweek just had to hoist himself into the tree, Craig touched Tweek's shoulder before grabbing it to keep the startled boy from falling. "You did it," Craig confirmed, moving his hand down Tweek's arm so he could grab it and pull the boy upright.

Slowly standing on the branch with a surprising amount of balance, Tweek looked around himself with a sort of stunned shock before looking up at Craig and whispering, "I did it." Laughing softly in what sounded like disbelief, Tweek moved his footing on the branch and said, "I'm d-doing it." Pulling out of Craig's hold, Tweek moved quite a bit quicker than the Noirette would have expected him to as he scaled the branches until he was crouched on one above Craig's head. "I'm climbing!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Swiftly scaling the tree to catch up, Craig followed Tweek as the boy used those small but talented hands to find grips on things that the taller boy wouldn't have even noticed. He swung between the branches, his laughter turning into those small squeaky giggles that Craig liked so much. "Catch me!" Tweek suddenly exclaimed, swinging not around the Oak again but instead grabbing for the branches of a tree near them and swinging to that tree instead.

Smiling despite himself, Craig called, "Oh, it's on!" before following Tweek. Finding himself falling behind the twitching boy, who was taking to climbing like a natural, Craig used his own tactics to head the boy off. Taking a different route, Craig swung in front of Tweek, causing the boy to shriek. Flailing his hands, the blond lost his balance and started to pitch forward. Shit shit shit. Craig's stomach dropped. Without thinking, the Noirette let go of one of his handholds and used the free hand to catch the boy. In the same beat, Craig pulled Tweek closer, trying to slow his heart in the process

Tweek was trembling in his hold. Goddamnit, that'll teach me not to mess around like that. He could have fallen. With a weight in his lungs, Craig pulled back so he could see Tweek's face. Instead of finding him shaking with fear, Craig discovered that Tweek was still giggling, his face pinched and happy. "I scared you," Tweek panted, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he gulped down air.

"Fuck you dude," Craig told Tweek, feeling his body lighten as he realized everything was okay. I shouldn't be that worried about him. Letting Tweek go as the boy wriggled out of his hold and grabbed for a new handhold, Craig watched him, his heart still struggling to calm down.

Grinning, Tweek said, "M-maybe I'll have to catch you next time." Shaking his head, Craig snorted and followed Tweek as he swung to the next tree. "Come on, we should go find the others!" Tweek insisted, keeping ahead of Craig by a few branches.

"Yeah, let's," Craig agreed. And even though his heart was still racing after thinking that Tweek was going to fall, he found himself smiling. The sight of the blond enjoying himself was too good to not make Craig happy.

We're going to beat those Elves' asses tomorrow.