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The ICU in a strange hospital in a city he hadn't been back to in thirty years was as lonely as his motel room, Matias reflected. And late at night—at least Matias presumed it was late as night, since the number of visitors had significantly decreased, and he had seen a couple of new nurses at the nurses' station that he could see outside his room-was even lonelier than the motel. They still had him on oxygen, so he couldn't talk, not that he had anyone to talk to anyway.

Then a young man who was probably about Javier's age walked into his room and up to his bedside and stopped. Matias looked up at the man curiously. He didn't have a white coat on, so the man couldn't be a doctor, and he wasn't wearing scrubs, so he wasn't a nurse or an orderly either.

Then the man spoke. "You don't know me. My name is Kevin Ryan. I'm Javi's partner on the force...and his best friend. And I'm sure if you could talk to me, you'd be telling me to mind my own business, but you see, Javi is my business, because he's the best man I've ever known, and the best friend I've ever had. So when he's having a hard time, I want to do what I can to make it easier for him."

Kevin walked to the foot of the bed and stood, hands on his hips, staring at Matias head on and looking at him disgustedly, slipping effortlessly into the same mode he used on suspects in the interrogation room at the precinct. "I don't know the whole story, but I know enough. You left him when he was a little kid. Whatever your reasons were, they weren't good enough. He deserved better from you. He deserved more consideration. He deserved a dad. And you really missed out, because they don't come any better than Javier Esposito. I don't know what his decision is going to be regarding you going forward from here, but whatever it is, I will have his back. And I strongly suggest that whatever he decides, even if you don't agree with his decision or like his decision, you had damned well better respect his decision, and respect him. You can at least give him that much. For everything that you've never given him, you, at the very least, owe him the courtesy of respecting his decision about you. Are we clear on that?"

Matias managed a nod.

Kevin gave a single, curt nod back. "All right, then. I said what I came to say, so I'm leaving. You just make sure you remember what I said." And with that, he left.

Matias dozed fitfully on and off throughout the night. He was taken off the oxygen mask and given a nasal cannula just in time for a standard hospital breakfast of steel-cut oats, toast, and orange juice. He managed most of the oatmeal, half the toast, and all of the orange juice, and was just finishing up when he saw a man and woman walking down the hall and then heard who he presumed to be the man say, "Wait, that's him."

"Yeah, there's the card. 'M. Esposito,'" the woman replied. "If this were anyone else but Javi, it would be overstepping."

"But it is him," the man said.

"Right," the woman said.

They entered the room then, the woman clearly all business, with an underlying current of steel about her. The man's posture was rigid, his body language angry, his face impassive, but Matias knew that the impassive face was a mask for some serious anger.

"Matias Esposito," the woman said briskly.

"Yes," he said.

"I'm Kate Castle. I'm a friend of Javi's, and we worked together for many years," the woman said.

"And I'm Richard Castle, also a friend of Javi's and someone who worked with him for a long time," the man said, making a conscious effort not to clench his teeth. "You're not in the CIA, are you?"

Matias blinked. He hadn't been sure what to expect from these people, but that hadn't even entered his mind. "No," he said, "no, I'm not. Why do you ask?"

"Just making sure lightning isn't striking twice," Richard Castle replied. Matias had no idea what that meant, but seeing the fire in Mr. Castle's eyes, he opted not to ask about it. "So, you obviously didn't have to abandon your son in the interests of national security, or whatever it is those guys tell themselves. But the fact remains that you did abandon your son."

"Yes, I did, and I was wrong to do it," Matias said.

"Oh, you were wrong to do it, and you realize after all these years that you were wrong to do it," Mr. Castle said condescendingly. "Well, good for you. There's only one problem here: you missed most of his life, and you did it by your own choice! And now you're back, turning his world upside-down, and for what?"

Matias sensed that Mr. Castle was reacting this way not only out of loyalty to Javier, but because he had his own issues with his own father. Not having any idea what to say, he chose to say nothing at all.

Mrs. Castle spoke up then. "Javi means a great deal to both of us."

"You say you worked with Javier for many years," Matias said. "You were a mujer policia?" Matias was skeptical about this.

Kate picked up on his skepticism and was insulted by it. "You're damn right I was!" she exclaimed. "I was a detective, and a Captain, on the NYPD."

"Lo siento...I apologize," Matias said. "In my day, in my experience, women were not part of the policia."

Kate chose not to acknowledge that part of the conversation. "Your son is one of the best men I've ever known," Kate continued, "and that is in spite of your absence, and maybe even a little because of it." Her comment wounded Matias even as he acknowledged that he deserved the derision that he was getting from Javier's friends.

Kate continued. "As a parent myself, I can't fathom anything that would ever make me voluntarily walk out on my kids and never look back. Javi is family to me, to all of us, and he's been part of our family since long before he and Alexis became a couple. People who hurt my family in any way have to answer to me. If you only came back here to try and guilt Javi into accepting you into his life because you're dying, or because you want money, then when you get out of here, you can just go right back to Miami."

That got Matias's back up. "Is that so?" he asked angrily.

"Yes, 'that's so,'" Kate replied.

"We take family very seriously," Mr. Castle interjected then, "because we know firsthand its value...and the great pain that comes from its loss...and the emptiness inside that stays with you from childhood right on through almost middle age when you grow up without a father. You put a lot of effort into trying to fill that hole with other things, other people, other experiences, and sometimes you even manage to go extended periods of time without thinking about it, without actually feeling it. You wonder if it was something you said, something you did, the mere fact of your existence that made your father leave and never come back. That's what kids do in situations like that: they blame themselves, because they're learning how to try to make sense of the world as they grow up, but some things you just are never able to make sense out of. If you're lucky, you get answers someday. They may not be the answers you want, but after thirty or forty years, you need the answers, no matter how much you hate them. Javier needs answers from you. Truthful answers, no matter how painful or unpleasant they are, no matter how they make you look, because only when he has those answers can he truly begin to heal from your abandonment. So when he comes to see you, you are going to tell him the truth. For once in your life, you are going to put him and what he needs first." The way Mr. Castle said it brooked no argument.

"Did Javier send you here to tell me this, and his partner too, earlier?" Matias couldn't help himself from asking.

"The fact that you're even asking that question proves that you don't know Javi at all," Kate said. Rick just looked even more disgusted. She knew this was a sensitive issue for him, and she grabbed his hand, threading her fingers through his. Rick took his eyes off Matias and looked down at Kate's hand, her fingers knotted through his, and instantly began to relax, to come down from his anger and disgust. "For the record, no, he did not send us or Ryan here. He doesn't know we've been here. Whether or not you tell him we were here is up to you. But whatever you're going to tell him, it's going to be the truth. He needs that, and he deserves it."

"And that's exactly what you're going to give him," Rick said. "The truth. All of it. As my wife said, if you hurt Javier again, you'll answer to not only her, but all of us, because we are his family, and we're not going to stand by and watch you blow up his life again."

"That is not what I came here to do, Mr. Castle," Matias said.

"Then you won't have any problem with giving Javi the answers he needs from you," Kate concluded.

After the Castles left, Matias wondered about the character of his son, knowing that he had to have quite a sterling character to have these people so fiercely on his side.

It wasn't long after the Castles left that a young redheaded woman with such a head of steam worked up Matias was surprised it wasn't pouring from her ears came charging into his room, stopping at the foot of his bed with a deep scowl on her face, pointing at him, and exclaiming, "You!"

"Madre de Dios, another one," Matias muttered, but the young woman didn't notice.

"You walked out on him when he was just a little boy," Alexis began angrily. "You at least did him the favor of not yo-yo-ing in and out of his life all these years, but when you left for 30 years, you left someone who loved you, someone who needed you, someone who spent too much time wondering if it was his fault you left."

"And you know this how?" Matias asked.

"I know this because I lived it myself!" Alexis exclaimed. "And I know this because even one minute is too long for any child to wonder if it's their fault their parent didn't want to be their parent! And I know this because I love him with everything in me, and I hate seeing him all tied up in knots over you dropping back into his life out of nowhere!" She raked her fingers through her hair.

"So you're Javier's girlfriend," Matias said.

"Yes, I am," Alexis replied. "And if you're not serious, truly serious, about making amends to him—if he is even open to that—then you should just go back where you came from, because you hurt him enough when he was a little boy, and he got by without you. He came to terms with not having a father as much as he could a long time ago. But now you're back, and you've stirred it all up for him again, and if you don't plan on being a part of his life, if he will let you be a part of his life, for whatever time you have left, then you don't need to be a part of his life at all. You've hurt him enough for one lifetime, and I'm not going to stand by and watch you hurt him again."

Matias wondered if Javier had any idea how much his friends and his girlfriend loved him, that they should all come here to Matias's hospital bed to read him variations of the riot act for abandoning his son as a child.

"What's your name?" Matias asked.

"Alexis Castle," Alexis replied, her chin coming up defensively.

Matias quickly put two and two together and realized that this girl must be the daughter of the policewoman and her husband with his own father issues that had been here just a short time ago. "He is lucky that you love him so much."

"If you have any love for him at all, you won't run out on him again," Alexis said.

"As you said, that's really up to Javier, isn't it?" Matias asked rhetorically. "I take it he doesn't know you're here?"

"No, he doesn't," Alexis said.

"Would you like to keep it that way?" Matias asked.

"Javier and I have no secrets from each other," Alexis said.

"He is very lucky to have you in his life," Matias said.

"It's not luck," Alexis said. "You don't build a successful relationship of any kind on luck. You build it on love and trust and knowing the other person is going to be there for you no matter what."

"I guess that's why I haven't had any successful relationships in my life, then," Matias mused. "Well, except one. I think." He paused, then looked up at Alexis again. "I will remember what you said," he assured her.

"See that you do," she replied before turning on her heel and walking out of Matias's room.

It wasn't until after dinner that Javier arrived, straight from work by the look of things. Matias spied Javier's badge on his belt, and he wore a black sport coat over a gray button-down shirt. Javier sat down in a chair but remained a good distance from Matias's bedside. The silence became too much for Matias to bear, so he finally spoke. "Hello."

"I don't know how to do this," Javier said without preamble. "I don't know how to be a son anymore. I don't know how to be your son. I never did."

"I don't know how to be your father," Matias replied. "Maybe that makes us even."

"Is that really what you think?" Javier asked. Matias didn't answer. "I know why you came back now. Why did you walk out on me thirty years ago?"

"I didn't know how to be your father," Matias repeated. "I didn't know how to be Julia's husband. I couldn't keep a job."

"What, were you some kind of addict?" Javier asked tersely.

"No," Matias replied. "I like a good drink now and then, yes. Had to give up my cigars when I was diagnosed with this." He waved a hand at his chest. "But I could hold my liquor. I knew when to stop drinking. What I couldn't do was read. Or write. At least, nothing beyond my name."

This news took Javier by surprise. "You're illiterate?" he asked.

"It's hard to keep a job when you can't read or write. I could at least fake it fairly well in Spanish, because that was my native tongue, but English… It took me years to learn how to read and write at the most basic levels. We fought all the time, Julia and I. She thought I was just a lazy bum. She thought there were other women."

"Weren't there?" Javier challenged. "I know you got remarried the same year you divorced Mama."

"All right, there was one other woman," Matias relented. "I'll never make sainthood, I know. Rosita was young and beautiful and we didn't fight. She was too young to be a mother, she said, and I was a lousy father. What could I give you? What could I teach you? So I took the easy way and left when I divorced your mother."

Javier digested this. "You divorced Rosita too."

"She divorced me. She found out my secret, and was ashamed of me, and said if I could lie for so long about something so important, she couldn't trust me not to lie about other things as well. It was easier to work in Miami. I mostly worked on the docks, and those kind of jobs didn't require a lot of reading and writing. I finally learned to read and write after Rosita left me. I'll never be a scholar, but I can read and write at a twelfth-grade level now. In both English and Spanish." Matias was proud of that last fact.

After a brief silence, Matias said, "You have quite a family. Your partner Kevin...your girlfriend Alexis...your old colleagues Richard and Kate...who, I gather, are also Alexis's parents...they all came to see me today, to warn me about doing right by you, the way I didn't when you were a boy. Tell you the truth, don't run out on you again, don't hurt you any more than I already have, respect your decision about whether to include me in your life or not, whatever that decision is. They let me have it from all sides...and it was nothing less than I had coming to me. You are blessed to have so many good people to care for you so much."

"Yes, I am," Javier agreed.

"I cannot make up for the years I wasn't there for you," Matias said. "To think otherwise would be foolish, and I try not to be a fool anymore. The decision is yours. I would like to get to know you, in whatever time I have left, Javier. But you have every right to tell me to go to hell and never bother you again, and if that is what you want, I will abide by your wishes. If I don't, your family made it very clear to me that I will answer to them."

Javier shifted in his chair. "I don't know that we can ever truly be father and son," he said. Matias felt his heart sink, although he couldn't blame Javier. "But I'm willing to get to know you, I guess, and let you get to know me. Maybe we don't define anything right now. And no promises. Those are too easily broken when it comes to you."

"I don't need a definition," Matias quickly agreed.

"So we start from scratch," Javier said, "and we just see what happens. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Matias said, unable to hide the smile on his face. Javier did not return the smile, but Matias couldn't help hoping that might happen in time.


As Javier's text message had requested, Alexis, Kate, Rick, and Kevin were all waiting at the loft for him. Alexis answered the door when Javier knocked quietly, mindful of not waking Lily.

Javier looked at the quartet for a long moment, his gaze roving from Alexis to Ryan to Beckett to Castle and back to Alexis before turning his attention to his friends, his family, again. "I was such a player for such a long time because I didn't want to trust anybody enough that they could break me the way my old man did when he left me," he said without preamble. "It was a lot easier to just keep it light and move on without any damage being done. Even my first partner Ike...well, you guys remember that, the whole dirty cop thing, the IA setup, how I thought for years he was dead. I lost him, I lost my mother and my abuela… I was tired of people leaving me, even when it wasn't their choice, like my mom and abuela.

"But then I got partnered with you, Beckett, and with you, Ryan...and you didn't leave me. And before I even consciously knew it, really, it occurred to me that I could trust you guys. That you'd be there, no matter what. And Castle, then you joined the team, and you were the same way from the start." He looked at Alexis. "I never thought I'd find anyone that I trusted enough with my heart, someone that I would love enough to put everything into the relationship and know that not only would I never leave them, but that they'd never leave me. But you changed all that for me, Alexis. You were the last thing I expected, and everything I never thought I'd have, and I love you more than life itself." He kissed her quickly, chastely, before taking everyone in with his gaze again. "And I know all of you went down to the hospital and gave Matias a piece of your minds about respecting my wishes and not abandoning me again. So thank you. Thank you for having my back."

"Anytime," Ryan said.

"Absolutely," Kate said.

"Definitely," Rick concluded. Alexis answered wordlessly, wrapping her arms around his waist and moving closer to his side.

"And since at least Castle will ask, as for Matias...We're going to get to know each other. I don't know if we'll ever really be father and son, but it's a start."

Castle, fittingly, was the one who spoke. "I hope it works out for you guys, Esposito," he said.

"You know somethin', Castle? So do I," Esposito replied as Alexis laid her head on his shoulder and Castle, Beckett, and Ryan gave him encouraging smiles.