Craig

"You know," Kyle said in a hoarse voice. "I think that Tweek won that one." It was quite possibly the most useless thing the boy could have said, but Craig was too far gone to give a shit anymore.

He'd fucked up. He knew that he'd fucked up. He'd known that he'd fucked up from the moment that Stan had beaten him but he hadn't known to what extent until Tweek decided to challenge Stan, just to prove Craig wrong. God, he's pissed at me.

Speaking of Stan, the boy was still sitting on the ground, no doubt stunned into inaction like the rest of the people who'd been watching. Tweek had been a demon, after all, nothing short of a monster. He'd attacked with such a single-minded ferocity that he'd left everyone too shocked to even speak. Craig's silence was in part because of that, but it was in part because of how everything had been hitting him at once.

This is my fault. Again. It's always my fault that Tweek is upset, I'm always the reason he's hurting or scared or stressed. It's always my fault. Except it was more than that. Craig had finally realized just how stupid he'd been acting all day.

Because it had taken watching Tweek beat the shit out of Stan to realize that Craig had been suffocating Tweek by trying to keep him safe. So terrified had he been that there would be another incident where Tweek wasn't strong enough to fight back and Craig wouldn't be able to save him that the Noirette had inadvertently fucked up everything else trying to keep it from happening. Now Tweek was gone, run off to goodness knew where and Craig hadn't been able to do a thing to stop him.

Never, never fight my fights for me again. That's what he'd said to Craig, right? That was proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was Craig's fault that this whole mess had happened at all. And yet Tweek had done amazingly, far better than Craig or in fact anyone had thought that he would. He'd beaten Stan handily and hardly taken any damage himself. But it wasn't just game stats that had hit Craig hard, no, it had been the yells of fury that Tweek had kept letting loose with that had gotten him.

Craig knew why he'd been upset, Tweek had told him why he was upset without qualms, and yet Craig had deliberately ignored him, just so he could play the hero when he'd never been the hero in his whole life. That's not my position. I'll never be a hero, I'll never be someone Tweek can look up to. Hell, I don't even know if Tweek is ever going to look at me again after how I've acted. It made Craig feel sick to his stomach. It made him want to hurt something.

It made him want to find Tweek and beg for forgiveness, even though he was Craig Tucker and he didn't beg for shit from anyone.

But he'd beg for this. It hardly even factored into his head that this was fourth grade and really he shouldn't be dealing with things like this, Craig just wanted Tweek by his side again. As his equal, not something that he had to protect from things that weren't even there. What did I say to Mr. Mackey? What did I tell Tweek? I said that he's a wreck and I like him that way. I fucking do! Why did I forget that so easily? Fuck, I've screwed everything up for good this time.

From somewhere in the crowd, a kid called, "I- I think he left for good." Craig didn't even twitch at the words because he knew they were true. Tweek was gone, he'd managed to drive away the one person that he cared about. Because I care about him, don't I? Fuck…

Beside him, Clyde whistled softly. "Geeze, I didn't think he got that mad." Craig almost nodded in agreement, but he was pretty sure his muscles were too frozen to do anything so instead he just stared at the spot where Tweek had vanished and cursed his own stupidity and stubbornness till he ran out of words.

"Well," Cartman said, sounding actually impressed for once, if a little taken aback. "That was actually a little terrifying. Maybe we should have gone with the music instead."

"He would have fought whether you let him or not," Token said, moving up beside Clyde slowly, no doubt also stunned by Tweek's behavior. "Better to let him get it out than let it turn into a war." Token sounded so damn logical about the whole thing but Craig wanted to explode because that was Tweek they were talking about and it wasn't best to just let him scream and run. Craig should have listened to him the first time and never let it come to this.

A soft tutting came up from behind him and Kenny appeared at his shoulder, shaking his head as if he'd seen it all coming and he'd predicted it, which was bullshit. "What a shame," the Princess commented, twisting a finger in his hair absently. "You know Craig, I think you screwed the pooch on that one."

Shaken from his trance by Kenny's break of character, Craig found himself softly croaking, "What do I do?" Why he was asking Kenny's help was beyond him at this point, all he wanted was an answer. Just one damn answer to even one of his questions.

"I don't know, what do you think?" Kenny answered back, just as softly. It was clear he was speaking for Craig's benefit alone. "I don't want to step in where I'm unwanted, but I'd say you owe it to Tweekers there to go after him."

He hates me though, was what Craig wanted to say. What kind of person goes after someone who clearly hates them? And yet, Kenny's words struck a chord with him. Maybe it wasn't a logical chord, but it hit him hard all the same, impacting him enough that he blinked and slowly turned to face the boy. "And if I can't find him?" he asked, unsure why this of all questions was the one that he brought up.

Clicking his tongue, Kenny cranked an eyebrow up and said, "Then keep looking till you do find him, Tucker. He's your friend, you're a pretty shitty one if you don't at least make the effort." Looking back towards where Tweek had run off too, Craig drew in a deep, steadying breath. He was still so uncertain, he had no idea if this was a good idea, but at the same time, he felt like it was the right idea.

What really solidified it though was when Clyde nudged Craig's side and said, "Don't leave Teacup alone, I'm worried about him." Looking to his oldest friend, Craig made up his mind. It was the only decision that he could make, considering.

Walking through the path that Tweek had cut through the other kids, Craig passed by the table they'd been sitting at earlier and snatched Tweek's thermos up before walking along methodically, gathering up the boy's other arms and armaments as he went. Shouldering the bow, Craig hooked the pot to his own belt and simply carried the sword. He must have looked ridiculous, but he didn't much care.

"Now that that's over, why don't we go back to the festival!" Cartman announced as Craig reached the gate. As everyone shook themselves from their dazes and started going back to what they were doing before, Craig left the park, following the boot prints Tweek had left on the ground. There weren't actually all that many to follow, but Craig just settled on going in the direction they pointed to until something stopped him. It wasn't like he had a better idea.

As he passed through the open field, Craig wondered if Tweek had just headed back home. He thought that maybe he should check, but something told him that Tweek wouldn't have gone there if he needed to calm down. There's too much stress at his house for it to be calm. So Craig just kept walking, his eyes slowly scanning everything for a glimpse of golden hair and striped skin.

Maybe, if he hadn't been such an idiot, this wouldn't have happened, but Craig wasn't sure if there was a magic answer for how this whole mess could have been averted. As far as he could tell, it had been inevitable. It sounded terrible, but Craig was pretty sure it was true. Goodness knew he'd been a stubborn ass, and Tweek wasn't the kind of person who could just blurt out what was bothering him. No, his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

Really, Craig should have noticed what he was doing and put a stop to it before it had a chance to get worse, but at this point, he wasn't sure if that had ever been an option. Maybe they were just destined for this? What was it that Token said? That we're destined to stick to each other like glue or explode spectacularly? Well, apparently Token had been right because they'd definitely exploded this time.

Turning into the forest on a whim, not caring that he was technically on Elven territory, Craig cast his eyes skyward and stared up at the setting sun. It was too soon to get dark, that's what his mind kept telling him as the light streamed through the trees and dappled the ground below. It was too soon for the stars to come out if Tweek wasn't there to stare up at them with him. But Craig was just an insignificant speck of dust to the universe and the earth turned whether he liked it or not.

Feeling his chest grow heavy, Craig remembered how Tweek had said the same when he'd stared at the sky. Right after telling Craig that he was alone, he'd said that no one would notice if he vanished. It had hurt because the Noirette had felt the same on numerous occasions, had stared at his ceiling while lying on the floor thinking those same thoughts as the pain from his latest bruises seeped into his heart. He'd always thought that saying things like that was normal but then Tweek had said it and he'd been able to understand that it wasn't okay, it was wrong. It was painful and it wasn't true.

So he'd told Tweek that he'd be there. Maybe not in as many words, but that had been his meaning all the same. It didn't matter how angry Tweek was with him or how much the blond hated his guts, Craig would always remember him. Even if Tweek told him to fuck off tonight, Craig wouldn't give up that easily. Because if he didn't have Tweek with him… Well, Craig didn't know, but he feared the possibility enough that he refused to even think about it.

I keep acting like it's Tweek who needs me, but I think I need him more. Craig doubted he'd ever be able to think so clearly about it again, but he let the thought sink in and sit in the back of his brain. He'd forget it, it would slip from his thought processes after this, only to crop up every now and then. But it would always be there, the knowledge that no matter how damaged Tweek was, the blond was still a rock to Craig. Something to cling to in a world of things that he hated and that hated him.

Coming to the creek, Craig carefully crossed it, not wanting to fall in and get wet. Not that it would have sent him home or anything, but it would have made him a little bit more miserable. Pressing on, letting his feet take him where they wanted, Craig wondered if Tweek was thinking about him, cursing his name. Or maybe he was feeling something like Craig was. Lost. Helpless. Upset with no way of fixing things.

Or maybe he was projecting. He was pretty sure Mr. Mackey had mentioned something like that during one of their many talks.

Walking on, Craig found himself walking in a specific direction. He wasn't sure why he'd chosen this path of all of them, but he vaguely remembered it as the one he'd taken when he was taking Tweek out to teach him to climb. Yet another thing he's capable of doing without my help. So why was I so quick to act like Tweek was helpless? He already knew why, rolling it over and over in his mind wouldn't do him any good now.

Tweek's thermos was still warm.

Craig wondered why the night had to feel so cold.

As he reached the twisted old oak that Tweek had first climbed, Craig once again raised his eyes skyward. Something in him jumped when he saw golden hair reflecting in the dying light. Throat growing tight, Craig cleared his throat.

"AUGH JESUS!" Just like the first time I talked to him. Tweek's bright green eyes looked down at him, the emotion swirling in them taking Craig's breath away. There was so much pain and regret in those orbs that he almost wanted to break down himself. But he didn't. Instead, he simply looked at the boy and tried to communicate with a look everything that had been running through his mind while he looked for the boy.

But maybe could read him because the boy jerked around, pulling his face out of view. "W-what are you doing here?" the boy asked, his voice muffled like he had his face buried in his knees. Heart pulling, Craig clenched his jaw and tried to fit everything that he was feeling into a few words. He wasn't used to feeling this much, but that's what Tweek did to him. He made Craig feel a million uncomfortable things that he didn't necessarily want to feel, and yet he made him chase those feelings like an addict.

So in the end, all he said was, "Looking for you." Tweek let out a soft, involuntary noise at that. Craig didn't even need to see the boy to know he was shaking. When Tweek didn't scream at him to get away, Craig took a breath and hooked his chin around Tweek's thermos so he could climb the tree. Flipping up into it without dropping anything, Craig kept his head tucked down around the warm metal of Tweek's thermos, partly so he didn't drop it, partly so he could avoid looking at Tweek for as long as possible.

Reaching the level right below Tweek, Craig chose a branch that was as close to the blond as possible before settling down, hooking Tweek's sword over a broken stump of a branch before taking Tweek's thermos out from under his chin. Pinning it between his knees, feeling Tweek's eyes on him as he moved, Craig calmly reattached Tweek's pan to his belt before taking off the boy's bow and quiver, adding those to the growing collection. Finally unladen, Craig looked up at Tweek.

The boy was staring at him, his mouth slightly open. Craig wondered if he was imagining the tear tracks that streaked down Tweek's face before wondering if maybe it was that the tears were missing from his own eyes. Whatever it was, Craig pushed it aside so he could speak, his voice strong and clear.

"I fucked up." Tweek didn't say anything, just twitched and let out another small noise. Drawing in another slow breath, Craig continued, "I felt guilty because I couldn't protect you from that shitty sixth-grader, and I let that ruin everything else." The moment he'd said it, a weight lifted off his chest. It wasn't everything, but it made him feel fifty pounds lighter.

"Y-you didn't fuck up," Tweek said in a small voice, his eyes focused on Craig like he was going to cry again. Craig wished he could have ruffled Tweek's hair, but he had no idea if he'd even be allowed to, so it was probably best that he couldn't reach up that high. "I couldn't even tell you what was wrong, I was s-so –ngh- stupid about the whole thing."

"You told me just fine," Craig said, his eyes softening even if his expression didn't change. "I just wasn't listening." Turning away from the boy, focusing on a point in the middle distance, Craig pulled at his chullo before admitting, "I don't like to see you hurt."

"I don't like to see you hurt!" Tweek squeaked at once, sounding almost nervous. "Jesus man, th-this game isn't just a game, okay? I kn-now that I'm imagining stuff –rrr- b-but it doesn't feel imaginary when I see you bleeding out on the ground, okay?" The words made Craig's heart do something unpleasant and he couldn't help but rub at it, as if he could make the pain just go away. It didn't, it just reminded him how cold it was out there.

"Okay," Craig just answered instead. He knew that Tweek sometimes saw things that weren't real, but he figured that was okay because he often didn't believe some real things existed. Feeling the need to say it, if only to say it and get it out there, Craig softly told Tweek, "I won't fight your battles anymore. You're strong, you can protect yourself."

"I'm glad that y-you're around!" Tweek insisted quickly, as if he was worried Craig had the wrong idea. "I mean, I was really happy when you –ghn- b-beat up Cartman. I would never have been able to do something like that man, never." He was quiet for a moment, and Craig could hear him fighting, even without looking at the boy. "I can't always do that, not care, like you do. B-but when you're with me, I feel strong."

"When you're around me," Craig said softly, watching as the stars started to come out, hardly visible in the still light sky. "I feel like the world isn't so shitty after all." When Tweek twitched beside him, Craig calmly handed the boy up his thermos. He didn't unscrew it, but he did it on purpose, having a feeling that doing something like that would be a bit counterproductive. Tweek took it instantly, hardly fumbling at all to open the cap and take several sips of coffee.

"It's okay Craig," Tweek said suddenly, looking down at the boy, who stared into those lamp-like eyes with his mouth half-open. "The world is really really big, and the universe is even better. We're just dust, remember? That would be an awful lot of dust to be shitty." It struck Craig only after Tweek had finished speaking that he hadn't stuttered once, hadn't even twitched. "It's just this town," Tweek added. "Just these people."

Nodding in agreement, Craig softly said, "Someday we'll get out of South Park, just you wait. We'll get out of this fucked up town, away from our fucked up homes, and we can live somewhere else with our own fucked up minds." Tweek giggled, and Craig's chest warmed instantly.

"F-fucked up together," Tweek muttered, echoing his statement from earlier. Feeling the weight of those words hit him for a second time, Craig found himself falling to the side till he was leaning against Tweek's side. Though he kept one hand tangled around a branch, he leaned most of his weight against Tweek and it felt good to just relax there. As he lay there, Tweek's twitching slowly stilled till it was nothing but a shiver.

Unexpectedly, as they sat there in the quiet, Craig felt Tweek pull his hat off. A moment later, small, talented fingers started combing through his hair, leaving Craig with a feeling that he'd never really experienced before. As Tweek slowly went about undoing the tangles that Craig's perpetual hat hair left behind, the Noirette found his eyes closing.

In that moment, it was just them. Just them and the stars and Tweek's fingers in Craig's hair, fully calming the boy down for the first time since lunch. Humming under his breath, Craig found himself smiling, even though he couldn't pinpoint one particular thing he was happy about. It was just this situation, Tweek next to him, that made him happy. Tweek made him happy. Tweek made him feel.

Tweek made him care.

Token was right, he needed that.

A/N: Yes, all is going to plan... Chapters 49-50 will be different perspectives.