AN: I feel like the worst person in the entire world! It's been forever since I last posted, oh my goodness. I've been struggling with a lot of stuff, but, now like our favorite DC show actors, #idontmind talking about it. Every so often my anxiety just becomes unbearable and outside of work, I just turn into a vegetable. Recently thought enough is enough and now I'm in therapy, so please don't give up on me!

CHAPTER ELEVEN – PICKING UP THE PIECES

Staring at Ella now, it was almost like the past couple of weeks had never happened. Barry stood bedside and she laid on her back, her eyes closed, her lips loose, and the only thing that moved was her chest. She had all the physical traits of being alive, but when Ella's eyes finally open again, what were they going to say?

Barry swallowed hard and took her small hand in his, something that had not been done while she was in her first coma. They were soft but limp and he only gave them a slight squeeze in fear her skin had taken on more than the color of porcelain.

His eyes trailed up from her fingers to every inch of her face. Barry's heart constricted in guilt. Was he just cursed to hurting the ones he cared about? He tried to fight her getting too close, he tried to fight any feelings for her, when he should have been fighting to protect her. The moment Barry knew Zoom was after her, he should have dropped his petty feelings of trying to fight Fate (whether it be the person or actual destiny) and protected her.

Not only was that his job as a friend, but as a superhero as well. The Flash didn't take in account his feelings for the person when he was trying to save them. Not only did he fail as Barry Allen, he failed as the Flash.

"Barry?" A voice broke through his thoughts. He looked over to find Oliver walking in. "Hey, so the brainwashing metahuman is in the hospital. As soon as you broke the connection from Ella and him, he passed out. But his name is Craig Robertson and he's under 24 hour surveillance and Joe is working the case so when he wakes up, you'll know."

Oliver walked up to Ella's bedside and sighed heavily. "She can't seem to catch a break, can she?" It was a rhetorical question, so Barry didn't respond. He didn't feel much like talking.

"You know she's going to be okay, right? She's strong, Barry. She'll pull through."

Barry gently put Ella's hand back down and shook his head. "I'm not so sure about this time. Zoom said-"

Oliver cut him off, folding his arms, "Zoom, the psychopath, said something you believe? Don't believe in him, Barry. Believe in Caitlin. Believe in Cisco. Believe in yourself, and most importantly, believe in Ella. You are a team and you've got this."His voice was firm and didn't leave Barry's face. Oliver then looked at Ella, his face clearing. He squeezed her arm before looking back to Barry. "I'm heading back to Star City. I've got a psychopath of my own to deal with. If thing's get bad, Barry, I'm only a call away."

"Thanks," Barry said, with a nod of gratitude. Oliver gave a nod of his own before striding out of the room, leaving Barry feeling inexplicably alone.

But it wasn't long before people started trickling back in. Caitlin hunched over a computer, trying to translate what the most recent brain scan was saying. Cisco sat behind a desk, his eyes closed, a wrinkle in his forehead, and occasionally muttered something out loud, very deep in thought. Harry occasionally coming in to mutter ideas to Caitlin.

Though the loneliness didn't leave Barry. He sat bed side to Ella and watched her face for any signs of life. Waiting, and dreading, the moment her eyes opened.


There was a war in her brain. Bullets of memories and feelings and thoughts ricochet off of each other, all of the same faces, but different eyes. Different expressions. Different souls. Her brain wanted to settle, but something didn't feel right about what she was seeing- like possibly she was looking at the world at slightly different angle and it threw everything off.

But at the same time she didn't know what her original angle was and this different angle didn't seem wrong either.

Ella's mind kept going back and forth, fighting for the truth. It felt like a losing battle and the longer it went, the ache that just started in a singular spot on her head, spread and intensified in pressure. The longer battle waged on, the sooner she was sure her brain would explode.

Then all at once, all the images and emotions was sucked from her body, till there was nothing. Her body numb, floating in an endless black abyss. The ticking time bomb that was her head slowly ticked out with no explosion.

In the darkness, shapes began to form. Black shadows morphed into bodies and Ella caught a glimpse of a women with long, curly hair and a small smile, a man with long, black hair and kind eyes, and another man with short, slightly disheveled hair and a face that caused her heart to flutter.

And suddenly Ella's eyes opened. She gasped, blinded by the white light of the room. A slight pressure that she didn't even realize was there till it moved, fell away from her head, and she flinched away when she saw it was a hand.

"Ella!" A voice cried her name in shock, then quickly said, "It's okay, it's okay. Oh God, Ella, it's okay..." but he kept muttering it over and over, like he was trying to convince himself more than her, and she wasn't sure she believed the voice yet.

It was a man speaking to her but Ella was having trouble focusing. Her eyes hurt, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. Finally, the red that was blurring right in front of her face cleared and she found herself looking at red leather pants. With great effort, Ella brought her head up to his face, and found it was the man she saw before she opened woke up.

Ella tried to set up then, but really only managed to move her head. There were the two other people in the room and she quickly realized they were from the dark place she was just at as well.

"Barry, man, I'd give her a little space," The man with the long, black hair and kind eyes said, though his eyes shone with worry. His voice was low, calming. Ella didn't know if it was meant to calm her or the man in red next to her.

"It all looks a little too much for her right now," put in the women with the curly hair, but there was no smile on her face at this moment. It was in a taut line.

"Did it work?" The one closest to her asked, the one in red. This question was directed to the man to the other side, who had his hand on her forehead.

"I-I-I don't know. I'm s-so sorry," he stuttered, looking down at Ella.

The women took a few strides over to the side of Ella's bed, stood next to the man in red. "There's a lot going on right now, I know, so I'm just going to ask you a few basic questions. Okay?" She asked, in a soothing voice.

Ella nodded, still feeling slightly overwhelmed to speak. She knew them… right? She knew them? Her eyes felt glued open, like she was in such shock they would never close again.

"What's your name?" was the first question. Same calm voice, but her eyes said something different. Ella could tell this woman's eyes knew her.

"Ella Peterson," she answered, slowly. That was right. That was definitely right, she knew that. It was everything else she was currently uncertain about…

There was the small smile Ella knew. The woman's slightly quirked to the side. "Yes, correct," but then she hesitated and had to take a breath before asking the next question, "Do you know who I am?"

Ella bit her lip. She felt the pressure of all eight eyeballs in the room. "I… not really, no. I know your face. I… just know your face. All of yours. All of your faces."

Apparently every breath in the room but hers had been held, waiting for her answer, and they all escaped at once.

The man in red turned around, a hand pulling at his hair. He was trying to regain composure, Ella knew. Ella saw his face before he turned and despite not knowing him and not knowing much else, Ella knew she never wanted to be the cause for a face like that.

"Tell me… tell me who you are," Ella begged in a whisper. "Tell me what's happening..." Tears began to prick her eyes now, the shock was wearing off. She pushed herself up, forcing her panic filled eyes to catch everyone else's in the room.

"You gotta..." The women started before taking a controlling breath, "You got to take it easy, Ella. I'm Doctor Caitlin Snow. This is Cisco Roman," she gestured the man with long hair, "and this is Barry Allen," Caitlin nodded to the man in red, whose back was still turned. Who was still breathing heavily. "And that guy, that's Craig Robertson, a metahuman, but I- you don't know what that is, do you?"

Ella shook her head, blinking furiously, trying to fight the cold terror that tried to overcome her.

"El..." The use of her nickname caused her head to jerk to Cisco, "What do you know?"

She was going to try to find the words to answer, but suddenly Craig yelled, "Don't!"

Ella flinched again, and the sudden shout even caused Barry to turn around.

"Don't make her try to remember, not yet. In order to get her to wake up, I had to hide all her memories, not just what she got of Earth 2 Ella's. I tried… I tried to make so she remembered you guys, but there was only so much I could do," Craig quickly began to explain.

"What does this mean? What happens if she remembers?" Barry demanded, angrily.

"I don't know for certain, but… I don't think she could take it. It was a mess in there, I couldn't make out anything. Just confusion.. and fear… and insanity," Craig answered, very quickly, glancing down at Ella, as if trying to not let her hear.

Her limbs tingled as if going to shock again. She wished she hadn't heard.

"She's like… she's like Donna in Doctor Who, right? Does she have to… go away? In order to not have her brain explode?" Cisco asked in a small voice.

"She's not going away! She-she can't..." Barry eyes implored Craig, as if he was in charge of this whole thing. As if he could just say "yeah, j.k. Give her a second for her brain to settle, she'll be good as new." But that's not what Craig was going to say and Barry felt the answer all too well.

"I think the door to her memories will be harder to access than what we fear. The human brain is a powerful thing. However, it's certainly safer for Ella to leave, but that's… her choice, and hers alone," Craig answered, slowly and thoughtfully. He added, "I would like to try again. This is a temporary fix. With a little more research… maybe we can put all the pieces back together again."

"El..." Barry's voice was soft and pleading. Ella tried to stay in her body, but it felt like her soul was threatening to escape. Her eyes still wouldn't shut. She couldn't even look at him, even with the use of her nickname.

Caitlin took a step in front of Barry, blocking his view. "I think you should go rest. I'll take care of Ella."

"I'm not leav-"

"Cait's right, man. Ella's freaked out right now. You gotta give her time to think," Cisco now stood next to Caitlin. Barry couldn't even see her feet now.

His face displayed an arrange of emotion, each of them breaking his friend's hearts. He blinked furiously and ran his hand through his hair. He turned away again. "Okay," Barry finally croaked out.

"C'mon, Bear, I'll call Iris to come get you," Cisco said, placing a hand on his back. When Barry didn't flinch away, Cisco began guiding him out of the room.

Caitlin turned back to Ella, who still couldn't close her eyes, but could cry. She could definitely cry and wordlessly, she did.