Tweek

You know that feeling when something's wrong, but you don't know what that thing is? Usually, it only shows up right after something happened that shouldn't make you upset, so it's hard and even more uncomfortable to actually point to that thing and say that's what's making me upset. So you just end up feeling queasy and sick to your stomach as you wonder what's wrong with me because this shouldn't be an issue but for some reason it is and you still don't want to admit that something's making you uncomfortable.

It's that feeling you get when you need to confess to a lie. It's the feeling you get when you've broken the unspoken rules but only one person is willing to call you out on it.

It's how Tweek felt as he watched all the other Humans and Valkyries get up and start going their separate ways, seemingly content with how the peace talks had gone. Wrapping his arms around his stomach, the boy twitched minutely as he stared at the floor, unsure what he was supposed to do. He felt sort of like he wanted to throw up, but he didn't know why. Maybe I'm sick or something?

"Is that really the best idea?" Jesse was asking Terry worriedly, rubbing his knuckles together in a repetitive motion that drew Tweek's eyes, mostly because he wasn't sure where else he was supposed to look. "I thought for sure Craig would say no." So did I… Tweek sort of felt like maybe he should be panicking, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what he was supposed to be panicking over. Because there was nothing, heck, he should probably be happy right now.

"Well, Bebe doesn't seem that bad. And it wasn't like he had a choice," Terry pointed out, shrugging. Both boys were getting to their feet but Tweek didn't budge, he just sat there staring at his feet like he'd suddenly been rendered immobile. "Tweek? You coming?" Glancing up at Terry, who was watching him with expectant eyes, Tweek shivered and tried to formulate some sort of response.

Jesus, what's going on? What's wrong with me? "Y-yeah," he managed, letting go of his stomach so he could wiggle out of his chair and numbly follow the boys as they started gravitating towards the door, talking to other people along the way. Gritting his teeth, Tweek frustratedly tugged at the flaps of Craig's hat, pulling it down lower over his face. He still felt sick and he didn't know why, which was stressing him out. I don't get it.

What was he even supposed to get? Staring at the floor, Tweek found himself stopping in the middle of the room, unsure why he was even going anywhere. The only thing that kept going through his head was those words that Craig and Bebe were going to start dating. It was weird how they kept playing on repeat as if his brain felt the need to remind him of something that he wasn't about to forget. Like a curse, another wave of nausea hit him and he made a soft whimpering sound.

He should probably be smiling, that's what people did when they heard about something happy like this. But they don't even like each other, why are they going to have to date?! But maybe Craig would end up liking Bebe, the girl seemed really nice as far as the blond could tell. She was smart and funny and if Clyde was to be believed absolutely beautiful, but Tweek still felt like he wanted to throw up. Why do I feel sick? I should be happy right now.

"But why did you agree with them?" Tweek didn't even bother to glance up at the sound of Clyde's voice. All he did was twitch and nibble on his lips, wishing that he'd just feel better already so he could go back to normal. "It's not fair that Craig gets to marry Bebe! Why wouldn't you even agree to that, he probably doesn't even like her."

"Clyde, it made perfect sense," Token argued back. Tweek felt like he should be nodding in agreement with the black boy but he really just wanted to agree with Clyde. No, I'm being stupid, Craig and Bebe will probably be really happy together. "Craig's influential, Bebe's influential, both of them will care enough about the rest of the game to make things work. It's not like it's a real marriage."

Whining in irritation, Clyde complained, "You know that's not what I meant! They're still going to be dating! Why would Princess Kenny choose Craig out of everyone, it totally does not make sense." Shaking harder, Tweek reached up and pulled at Craig's chullo again, wishing that he could find some measure of comfort in the action. But there was nothing, his stomach just rolled. "I know it's for peace but couldn't they have chosen some other girl?"

"Who?" Token asked, sounding mildly impatient. "Annie doesn't seem like she has a big enough roll in this faction and Red is Craig's cousin. Wendy is off the table because a: she's still hung up on Stan according to Lady McCormick, and b: she's the leader and the leader of a faction should never have direct ties to another faction. It's not good for politics." We're ten, why do we care about politics? Tweek shook his head minutely and pursed his lips together, just so he wouldn't say it out loud. Token probably knew best, he always did, right?

"Okay, but what about a different Human?" Clyde argued, still sounding unbelievably stubborn about the whole thing. "Craig's not the only one who's important in the Human Kingdom. He's, like, only one of the most important. Why didn't they choose someone else, like, I don't know, you or Butters or me or even Tweek!" Shaking his head harder at that, Tweek let out a squeak of protest, but couldn't quite make himself freak out about it like he normally would. Something's wrong with me, what's wrong with me?

Sighing, Token patiently said, "I wouldn't be a good choice because I'm one of the chief strategists and giving me ties to another faction would be foolish. No offense Tweek, but I think that you'd be too worried about screwing things up to make a peace-keeping relationship work. Butters might look like a good choice, but he's way too quick to cater to Cartman's every whim and will. The girls wouldn't want to deal with that."

"But what about me?" Clyde insisted, sounding honestly upset about the whole thing. Tweek didn't understand why Clyde was upset, but it made more sense than his own feeling of sickness. Because he was pretty sure that Clyde liked Bebe, so that was probably why he wasn't happy about the whole thing, but Tweek had no reason not to support Craig and Bebe wholeheartedly. Maybe I just feel bad for Clyde? But that doesn't make sense! Why doesn't anything make sense?! Why do I feel so horrible?

"Clyde-" Token drew in a breath. "Don't take this the wrong way, but Princess Kenny needed to choose someone that would actually tempt the girls to agree to the whole marriage thing. They all seem to like Craig already, so it makes sense to choose him. It would guarantee that no matter who ended up having to date him, they wouldn't be upset about it. You've been playing the game longer than Craig and you're more loyal to Cartman. It makes the most sense for Craig and Bebe to be the couple. You don't have to like it, you just have to support it."

"I'm not gonna support it, the whole thing is stupid!" Clyde exclaimed. "Come on Tweek, back me up on this one, it's stupid for Craig to date Bebe, right?" Shivering harder, Tweek stared at the floor and bit his lip as he tried to fight back the bile building up in the back of his throat.

Even though his throat didn't seem like it wanted to work right, Tweek mumbled, "I -ghn- d-don't know, I guess as long as Craig is happy then we should support them." He knew it was the right thing to say but he didn't want to say it! It felt so wrong coming out of his mouth that it made him whimper softly and wrap his arms around his stomach once more, trying to drive away the horrible gnawing sensation inside of him. "I m-mean, we want the Humans and the Valkyries to be peaceful, right?"

"Oh come on," Clyde said in exasperation. "Don't tell me you believe them too!"

"Jesus man, I don't know!" Tweek squeaked, twitching and squeezing his eyes shut tight. "It's what th-they're saying is going to happen so -ngh- we can't even do anything!" Clamping down on his lip to hold back all the terrible sounds caught in the back of his throat, Tweek tasted the coppery cloying matte of blood and almost choked on it. Why am I upset, why do I feel so terrible? What's going on?

Before anyone else could say anything, Tweek felt something tug at the strands of escaping hair that were flying up from under Craig's hat and the familiar deep voice of the boy saying, "What's going on?" Without even really thinking about it, Tweek's head jerked up and he flinched back from Craig. Jesus, why did I do that? Shivering, Tweek stared up at Craig, who stared right back his brows furrowing as he did so.

"We were just talking about the fact that you are going to get married to Bebe," Clyde said, narrowing his eyes. Flicking his attention to the brunette, Tweek made an involuntary sound as the boy pointed to Craig and said, "What's that about, huh? Why didn't you say no? Why did you let the Princess push you into something like that?"

Attention leaving Tweek, Craig tipped his chin up and looked down at Clyde, like he was trying to work through why the boy was so upset. "Dude, do you think I asked for this?" No, but you didn't say no. Banishing that thought, frustrated with himself for even thinking about it, Tweek bit his already bleeding lip as his eyes shifted back to Clyde, who had his arms crossed petulantly across his chest.

"I don't know Craig, but the least you could have done is put up a fight," Clyde shot back, his face a mask of frustration. "I mean why would you get married to a girl if you don't even like her!?" Craig's brows furrowed at that as if Clyde's words had finally managed to annoy him slightly.

"Clyde kindly shut the fuck up," Craig told his friend, looking him in the eye. "I wasn't just going to tell Bebe that I didn't want to date her, she's not that bad." See, Craig's okay with it, so should I be. Shivering, Tweek dug his fucked up fingernails into his bare sides, like they were ten little knives. Anything to keep himself from screaming about something he shouldn't even be upset about. But I'm not upset about this, it must be something else! Why would I be upset about Craig and Bebe getting together, it's fine!

"Not that bad!?" Clyde ground his teeth together. "She's perfect Craig, and you don't even like her so why are you willing to marry or date or be together with her or whatever? It's just a stupid game! Why would you do something like that?"

"Guys," Token tried, looking tired. "Can we please-"

"If you have something to say then fucking say it," Craig growled back, cutting Token off, clearly frustrated. "Don't just blame me for this shit. It wasn't my idea, but at least I'm not trying to sabotage the whole thing." Crossing his arms and looking down his nose at Clyde, Craig continued, "Everyone else here cares about this Clyde, they want the Humans and the Valkyries to get along. I thought you did too." As Craig talked, Tweek could feel the pressure in his head building, making it hard to even think anymore. Jesus, why is he saying those things?!

"Since when have you given a fuck what everyone else thought?" Clyde asked, his expression morphing into frustrated disbelief. All Tweek wanted was for them to stop fighting, but he felt so sick he couldn't even begin to say anything. It was too much, he couldn't handle the pressure! "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"I don't know dude, I'm wondering the same thing about you," Craig muttered back.

Unable to take it a moment longer, Tweek let out a shriek. "JESUS, JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!" Instantly, both Craig and Clyde looked at him, neither of their expressions happy. It didn't take long for Craig's face to melt back into his usual flat look, but Clyde just looked hurt, like he'd been betrayed by Craig and Tweek in some way. A look of worry flitted through Craig's eyes and for a second, Tweek thought that the Noirette was going to say something, but then a different voice interrupted them.

"Hey, guys." As one, all of the boys looked up to find Bebe standing there, her hands clasped in front of her like she was nervous and her eyes a little sad almost before the brightened again like emotions were just something to be turned off and on. "I hope everything's okay." Catching a fold of the skirt of her armor, Bebe twisted it as she continued, "I know that was kind of a surprise, but I hope that we can make the best of it." At those words, she turned to Craig, who stood up a little straighter.

"Yeah," he agreed, his tone as flat as always. Tweek shivered and wished that he'd show just a little emotion, anything so that the blond didn't have to feel like he was floundering around. Come on, it's Bebe, she's really nice and pretty, you should be happy for Craig. "It's just the Princess' usual bullshit, you get used to it eventually."

Giving a little sigh that made her shoulders rise and fall so daintily, Bebe said, "I don't think Princess Kenny is that bad, I'm sure she- er- he means well." Eyes flicking to Clyde, Tweek was somehow unsurprised to find a lost and longing look ghost through the brunette's eyes. Upset that his friend was upset but having no way to fix it, Tweek looked back to Bebe to find the girl already looking at him.

"Tweek?" she started cautiously, almost like she didn't want to say anything wrong. Why is she being so nice? She should hate me for not being happy for her and Craig! Why are people like this, why is any of this even happening!? When he made a soft spastic sound in acknowledgment, Bebe carefully continued, "I just want to say, you really don't have to worry about me stealing Craig from you or anything, I promise I won't upset any of your friendships." Looking to the other boys as well, she insisted, "I'm the intruder here, I'll do my best not to ruin anything."

Quickly, almost like he couldn't stand to see Bebe upset, Clyde said, "No no, it's fine, you're not going to ruin anything, don't worry." As her eyes focused on Clyde, Bebe brightened slightly and Clyde did too, though his smile was tinged with melancholy. Oh god, why is this happening?! Even Clyde is fine with it, why am I acting like this?!

"It's okay Bebe, we understand," Token said with his usual calm warm voice. "It's a little abrupt, but I'm sure you and Craig will figure something out." His look turning more serious, he continued, "I know it's a big responsibility, keeping the Valkyries and the Humans peaceful with a relationship, but I think that both you and Craig will rise to the challenge admirably."

As Bebe's eyes turned to Tweek, clearly waiting for his confirmation of her words, the blond panicked, unsure what he was supposed to say. Forcing himself to open his mouth, Tweek all but choked out, "Rrr- I think you and Craig w-will be a great couple!" Instantly, he felt his stomach rebel and he trembled hard as he realized that he'd just lied and he didn't know why. It shouldn't even be a lie, so why did it feel so wrong? Something's wrong with me, I'm so fucked up.

Letting out a breath, the girl said, "Well, I'm glad that everything is okay with all of you. I suppose I'll be seeing you all soon for the wedding." At the word wedding, Bebe's eyes flicked to Clyde and her lips pulled down into a frown before she gave a little shake of her head and pushed a smile back onto her face. "Someone's got to keep the girls and the boys from killing each other. I guess that's going to have to be us, Craig."

"I guess," Craig echoed, though his words sounded weirdly hollow and he scuffed his feet against the floor of the restaurant as he spoke. Heart crying out for him, wishing the Noirette would just tell Bebe that he didn't want to date, Tweek slapped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from screaming again. Bebe glanced at him at the movement, and Tweek desperately wished she'd just stop staring at him with that pitying expression like she could see inside his brain to the horrible fucked-up thing that was making him feel sick at the thought of her and Craig getting together.

"Well, I should probably be going, bye~" Shooting Clyde one last look, Bebe added, "See you later Clyde," before she quickly hurried away, her long curly hair fluttering behind her. Watching her go, shaking his head twitching as he did, Tweek swayed as another wave of nausea hit him.

Suddenly needing to get out of there before he threw up or Craig and Clyde went back to arguing, Tweek jerkily yanked Craig's hat off of his head and folded it up several times before shoving it at the Noirette. "I'm going -nggh- home," Tweek mumbled, the moment Craig's hand had closed around his chullo. Without waiting for anyone to say something, Tweek pushed past his friends and headed out the front door, shivering as the cold hit him full force.

Clutching at the corners of his Manbearpig pelt, Tweek hunched his shoulders, wishing the fresh air would take away the sick feeling from his gut. It didn't, if anything, it kept getting worse. Jesus, why did I just leave? I should have stayed and talked to Craig. They're going to think I don't support Bebe and Craig, of course, I support them. But it's just a stupid game! At the thought, it was like reality started to melt around him. Suddenly, he felt like he was just a ten-year-old kid instead of a warrior. And Craig was just another kid who was letting a stupid game control his life, just like Clyde said. It made Tweek feel even worse, mostly because it didn't matter if Craig and Bebe were doing this for the game, they were still going to start dating.

"Ngh- Oh god, why?" As pressure built up behind his eyes, Tweek shoved the heels of his palms into his sockets as if that would help him get rid of the horrible helpless feeling that was swamping him. Biting his lip, whimpering as his teeth sunk into already abused flesh, Tweek walked faster, not even sure of his direction but knowing that it would get him out. Away from the situation and away from Craig, who Tweek felt like he needed to get away from at that moment.

Switching to yanking his hair, just so he could see, Tweek tried to force himself to be happy. This was so stupid, his mind was stuck in a loop, he'd been thinking the same things since it had been announced. It was going to happen in the game, and Bebe was probably going to start hanging out with them more so he should probably get used to it. Jesus, what if Craig doesn't come over anymore because he's with Bebe all the time? What if he forgets about me?! Well then he should probably be fine with it because Bebe was going to be Craig's girlfriend and that made her more important, right?

What if he hates me because I'm not happy about this? Shivering, Tweek made a sound that sounded an awful lot like a dry sob, which just frustrated him more. "W-what's wrong with me?" Tweek asked aloud, twitching hard and staring at the sky as if there were answers there. "Why am I so -rrr- m-messed up?"

"Tweek?"

"AUGH JESUS!" Spinning around quickly, almost toppling over backward, Tweek found Craig standing behind him, looking a little winded like he'd ran to catch up. Shivering hard, resisting the inexplicable urge to bolt, Tweek could do nothing but watch as Craig got closer and slowly reached out his hand like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch him. Oh god, I'm making Craig upset now, aren't I?

Feeling practically monstrous for ever making Craig worry about anything, Tweek shuffled forward that extra step and butted his head against the taller boy's palm. Unexpectedly, Craig's other arm came around and Tweek was suddenly being pulled into a hug. Tweek had never seen it coming because on the few occasions where they had hugged before, Craig hadn't so much hugged him back as patted his head. But right at that moment, Craig was definitely clinging tightly to him, his arm almost wrapping entirely around the blonde's shoulders. Holding Tweek there, like he was worried the boy was going to run away if he didn't, Craig asked, "What's wrong?"

Oh god, I can't answer that, can I? Shivering in the Noirette's arms, Tweek reached his own spindly limbs around and squeezed Craig's torso. "I'm just tired of th-the game, today," the blond mumbled, hiding his face. That much was true, he didn't want to pretend to be in a world where Craig was going to replace him with a wife that was pretty and wonderful and everything that Tweek would never be. It made him feel sick to his stomach to think it, but he just hung on tighter to Craig in the hopes that it would make the thoughts go away.

"Okay," Craig said, his voice as even and flat as ever. "But what's wrong?"

Clenching his teeth hard enough that the creaked, Tweek forced himself to take a step back from Craig, slipping out of the boy's grip. Looking up at him, the blond took a deep breath and held it for a moment as he searched the Noirette's face for the worry he'd heard behind the boy's words. It was there, as was something like guilt and quite a bit of confusion. That's my fault. Letting the breath go, Tweek clenched his fists and put on as happy a smile as he could manage.

As an almost unbearable sadness washed over him, Tweek twitched and said, "N-nothing's wrong. It's just…" Say it. Say it otherwise it'll never be true. "Even though this is a weird way to start a relationship -ghn- I h-hope you and Bebe are happy."

Even as his chest felt like it was being crushed and the queasy feeling surged up once more, Tweek felt something like the ghost of relief flow through him as Craig's eyes calmed and he ruffled Tweek's hair easily. "Thanks, dude," he said, tipping his chin up and looking as strong as ever. "Now, do you want to go to my house and watch Red Racer?"

All Tweek could do was nod, because he didn't trust himself to speak.