An Unhealthy Escape

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters that are used in this story. Harry Potter belongs to J K Rowling! Also, I forgot to put this in my last chapter, but the little quotes used in the story are just ones from the internet, they are not mine. One of them is from the Hunger Games.

A/N: Hello! I know it has been a while since the first chapter was posted, but I have had an assignment that needs to be finished. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long. Please rate and review; I would really appreciate the feedback! Milo.

Chapter 2:

Sirius walked distractedly down to the kitchen, thinking about his encounter with Harry a few hours earlier. His godson had certainly been acting very strangely; Sirius could have sworn he saw him hurriedly shove something into his breast pocket as he opened the door. He remembered the scared look on Harry's face, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't be. And Sirius thought, just for a minute… but no, it was impossible Sirius decided. He had thought he could smell blood. If Harry was injured he would tell someone; wouldn't he?

Sirius shook his head to try to clear it. The smell of breakfast wafted up the stairs and he walked through the door to find Remus cooking eggs and bacon.

"Hey Moony," said Sirius taking a seat at the large table.

"Morning Padfoot," Remus replied. "Is Harry up yet?"

"No he had a late night last night, said he couldn't sleep," said Sirius, his mind wandering once again to his godson, asleep in his room upstairs. Remus frowned as he heard the confusion in his friends' voice.

"What happened?" Remus asked. Remus filled two plates with eggs, bacon and toast before setting them on the table and taking the seat next to his old friend.

"It's nothing… I think."

"Well I'll go and wake him up; it's eight thirty, his Hogwarts letter should be arriving soon. Dumbledore said it should be here around nine," Remus said, watching Sirius as he pushed his food around his plate.

+ . . +

Remus walked up the stairs to Harry's room. He paused outside the door, thinking. What had happened last night? Sirius had obviously talked to Harry, and it seemed like he was quite concerned. Of course, Sirius was very prone to overreaction when it came to Harry's safety and wellbeing. But still, Sirius did seem quite concerned about him.

Remus opened the door, intending to wake Harry, only to find that the teen was already awake sitting at the windowsill.

"Harry?" Remus asked with a confused and slightly worried expression on his worn face. It was very unusual for Harry not to come down to breakfast in the morning. Harry looked around at the sound of his ex-professors' voice.

"Oh. Hi," Harry mumbled quietly.

Harry went back to looking out the window, a sad and thoughtful expression on his face. He had not managed to get much sleep last night. He had been woken a second time at five o'clock after witnessing Cedric's death and Voldemort's rebirth a second time that night. When he woke up he wasn't feeling much better;

+I drag myself out of nightmares each morning to find there's no relief in waking+

His wrist was stinging and his head was aching due to the lack of sleep he had had in the last few weeks. He had woken to find blood all over the sleeve of his pajamas. He had hid them at the bottom of his washing basket; he would have to deal with them later.

"Harry?" Remus repeated, this time concerned. Harry was in fact acting very strangely today. "Breakfast is ready. Also Professor Dumbledore said your Hogwarts let should be here any moment now," Remus told him after checking his watch.

"Okay," Harry answered, not making any effort to move from his spot on the windowsill.

"Harry? Are you going to come and have breakfast with us?"

Harry looked up at Remus suddenly as if he had only just realized that he was there. "Oh – yeah, right – breakfast… coming," Harry said. Harry walked out the door and down to the kitchen leaving a completely bemused Remus standing in his doorway.

Remus did nothing for a minute. He just stood there trying to figure out what in the name of Merlin had just happened. 'He's probably just tired,' decided Remus remembering that Sirius has said something about Harry not being able to sleep. Remus tried, but he just couldn't convince himself that Harry's behavior was caused by a lack of sleep. Harry had been very down recently, but Merlin help anyone who ever asked him if he was alright. The phrase 'if looks could kill' came into Remus' mind as he remembered the one occasion he had tried to ask Harry how he was doing. Harry insisted that he was fine, even though it was perfectly obvious that he was not.

Remus sighed before following after Harry. "Merline he is so like James and lily," Remus muttered darkly to himself as he walked downstairs.

"Hey Harry, how are you this morning?" Sirius asked when he saw his godson walk into the large kitchen.

"Yeah," Harry nodded distractedly as he sat in a seat opposite Sirius and Remus. Harry crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin on his arms.

"Harry?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Harry said staring at a spot on the wooden table.

"I asked how you were this morning."

"Oh. I'm fine," replied Harry still staring at the spot.

"Harry!" Sirius almost yelled at the unresponsive teen sitting in front of him.

"What? What's wrong?" Harry shot up in his seat, alarmed. He grabbed his wand in his pocket.

"Harry what's wrong with you today?" Sirius asked, slightly scared of Harry's reaction.

"Oh. Nothing. I don't know," Harry said frowning to himself as he resumed his former position, head resting on his arms.

Harry didn't exactly know why he was acting this way. He was extremely tired, but he was always tired. He wasn't sad… just sort of numb. Like nothing really mattered anymore. He had been feeling this way for a while now, but for some reason today he couldn't keep a handle on his emotion, no matter how hard he might try. He also felt pain, the worst pain he had ever felt. Not physical pain, although the fresher wounds on his wrist were still stinging quite a bit. The pain he felt was a type of pain that wasn't as easily handled.

With physical pain, there is always an easy fix, a solution; pain relief potions, or healing spells. Harry found that there was no easy solution to the emotional pain he was feeling. He couldn't even figure out what the pain was, or why he felt this way. He also felt so lonely; he wasn't sure why. The logical part of his brain knew that he was surrounded by friends and people who loved him so much like Sirius and Remus and Ron and Hermione. Harry found though that nowadays the other side of his brain didn't really like listening to the logical side of his brain. It really did make everything so much harder than it had to be.

Harry supposed this was why he hurt himself. The physical pain made the other kind of pain go away. Not completely, of course, but it let him escape just for a little while. It numbed it a little bit. Harry wasn't sure why; again the logical part of his brain was screaming at him to stop, and again the other part of his brain didn't want to listen.

While Harry was thinking Remus walked into the kitchen and started to make a plate of breakfast for Harry. He set the plate down in front of him, and Harry began to push the food around the plate. Remus and Sirius exchanged meaningful glances. Something was indeed very wrong with Harry. If only they knew what it was, maybe they could help him.

Harry eventually gave up on breakfast and walked out of the room. He didn't think he could handle sitting with Remus and Sirius anymore. He felt he was about to burst. Harry hurried to his bedroom. When he got there, he locked the door and moved the desk in front of it, just to make sure. He reached under his pillow and felt the comforting feel of the cool metal blade against his warm hands.

A/N: Sirius and Remus know something's very wrong… what do you think they will do when they find out exactly what is going on with Harry? I don't like to give away hints! Please take the time to rate and review, I really love hearing from people. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! Milo.