Craig

"Ugh~ Is this really the best you can come up with. I swear, I'm going to fall asleep!" Kenny wilted across the empty seats, landing in Butters' lap dramatically. "Come on, we're never going to beat the Elves like this!"

Huffing, Token crossed his arms, tapping a finger against his bicep impatiently. "No disrespect Lady McCormick, but that's what you've said about the last five ideas we've had. We've got to find something. We have a month to find a way to get the stick back and give the girls what they want or they'll destroy us. The least you could do is give me something a little more to work with."

From his throne where he was munching noisily on a bag of chips, Cartman raised his hand and gestured loosely at Token. "If Princess Kenny says it's not going to work then it's not going to. Honestly Token, your ideas are pretty lame. This game is a quest to become cool, there's no way we're going to look badass if we go about everything like we're scared of dying or something."

"JESUS WE ARE SCARED OF DYING!" Tweek exclaimed, his pan handle clutched tightly in his hand. Standing as he was in the middle of the tent, he managed to nearly hit Butters and Token several times in the head as he waved his hand around wildly. "GHA- W-we're losing so badly, if we do anything wrong, they'll t-totally kill us!" He had a point, and Cartman acknowledged this with a sigh.

"Maybe we should look at that first idea Token had," Clyde suggested from behind Kenny. "I mean, I dunno, I think that if we just set in a small group to take the stick secretly, we might have a better chance of just declaring the school to be a game free zone. Then it wouldn't matter if they took it back, it would be an official rule."

"I dunno about you fellas, b-but I think we should jus' ask the mean ol' Drow Elves nicely an' see if they'll change the rules for us!" Butters piped up, his expression hopeful as always. "I mean, wouldn't that be nicer an' stuff? I don't know if we should go fightin' nobody over somethin' so small."

"Oh Paladin Butters, you're so wise~" Kenny cooed, rolling over so he could reach up and pat Butters' cheeks happily. "But we need to kill some people to get this job done. The High Jew Elf won't listen to us after everything that's happened."

Ballooning his cheeks, Token let a whoosh of air out of his lungs before saying, "I'd prefer not to kill anyone if it's all the same to you guys. If we piss them off enough, the Elves will crush us." Taking a step back so he could lean against the strategy board that was still standing there, despite their obvious lack of strategy, Token muttered, "Apparently the Bard just joined them, which means we now have to worry about bandits. At least the girls aren't attacking us anymore."

From the back of the room where he stood shrouded in shadows, Craig drew his eyes from the ground where they'd been fixed so he could see Tweek, who was staring at him, clearly stressed out. Pulling down his chullo, Craig pointed out, "We're out of touch with what's going on because we've spent the last month dealing with the girls. We need to figure out what's going on, otherwise we're going to only put ourselves in a worse position."

"I agree." From where she sat beside Clyde, Bebe lifted her head and said, "The Elves have been questioning us as to what's going on between your faction and ours. Wendy, may she sparkle forever, believes in complete honesty with people and she told the Elves that we have formed an alliance with your faction, though she has not told them the terms of it or that we are not assisting you in any way."

"That fucking bitch," Cartman muttered under his breath. When Bebe cleared her throat pointedly, the boy rolled his eyes before drawling out, "Of course, Bebe, I'm sure that Wendy has everyone's best interests at heart right now."

It had been Kenny's idea that the girl spend some of her time hanging out with the Humans. He kept saying it was in the interests of peace, but all Craig saw was the potential to cause further problems. After all, it was Kenny. When did he not have an ulterior motive. Currently, the only thing it had caused was Tweek's seeming inability to stand still and Cartman's increased irritability, but Craig was sure that was only the start of the problems it would cause.

"W-wouldn't that be a good thing though?" Tweek asked, letting go of his weapon so he could dig fingers into his blond hair and pull it down over his ears. "I m-mean, if the Elves –ngh- th-think that the Valkyries are helping us, won't they be less likely to attack us?" Clyde nodded at that, looking at Token in confusion as the black boy shook his head, frowning.

"Now Tweeky, don't be silly," Kenny chided, twirling a piece of hair between his fingers. "This is the Drow Elves we're talking about. Why, they're more likely to attack us twice as hard because they think that we've got an unfair advantage! Of course, we could attempt to clarify things over the carrier ravens, but chances are good that Kyle won't even listen." Shaking his head, he let out a fluttering sigh. "It's such a shame."

"So we're even more screwed now," Cartman said, sounding positively murderous. "That's just… Wonderful. It's wonderful. I love it when fucking Jews steal all my land and pride." Sitting up a little straighter, the Wizard pointed at Token and said, "Come on Token, there has to be something that we can do that doesn't make us look like a bunch of pussies."

Glaring at the room in general, Token muttered, "You know what, I give up. I've given you at least three different solutions that would work and two more that would probably do okay as well and you have literally turned down every one of them because they don't include enough big battles. Not everything is glory and gore Grand Wizard, sometimes, it's about the finer details."

"Ugh, I'm bored then!" Kenny exclaimed, dramatically shifting his position till he was pretty much sitting in Butters' lap. "Paladin Butters, do something. I'm bored, everyone here is boring. I just wanted to have some fun, is that so wrong? Please me Butters, entertain me."

"Maybe if you stopped fucking complaining, we'd actually get something done," Crain said flatly, his brows furrowing at the Princess, who peaked his head up over Butters' shoulder so he could giggle and smirk deviously.

"Lady McCormick, do you, perhaps, have a better idea?" Bebe asked, folding her hands neatly in her lap so she could blink properly at the Princess.

"OH GOD DON'T –GHN- ASK HIM THAT!" Tweek suddenly exploded, twitching violently as he yanked on his hair. "He'll just r-ruin everything and make horrible things happen and it's too much pressure!"

"That is a lady you are talking to asshole!" Cartman snapped, his eyes trained dangerously on Tweek. "Don't you try and tell Lady McCormick what she can and can't say."

"JESUS- FUCK! Y-YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!" Tweek yelled back, his hands balled into fists as he glared at Cartman right back. "GRR- W-WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO TOKEN! AT L-LEAST HIS IDEAS WORK! ALL YOU'RE DOING IS SITTING THERE AND B-BITCHING!"

Glaring at the blond, Cartman leaned forward on his throne and announced, "That's it! I've had it with the Barbarian, he can't keep his mouth shut. Someone get him out of my sight before I banish him from space and time." At Cartman's words, Craig saw his way out. Flipping off the rest of the room, but mostly Cartman, Craig swiftly moved to where the blond was shivering and pulled him out of the tent to the sound of Cartman yelling, "It's not like you were helping either Feldspar!"

Letting the tent flap flutter closed behind him, Craig turned to Tweek, who he'd wrapped an arm around, and started, "Just-"

"Ignore him, y-yeah, I know," Tweek mumbled, fumbling with his thermos and struggling to open the lid with fingers that looked a little blue. "It's just –rrr- he's s-such a fucking asshole, I can't stand him!" Feeling an inexplicable amount of pride swell up at the boy for getting upset like that, Craig couldn't keep himself from ruffling Tweek's hair.

Letting out a squeak, as though he hadn't been expecting that, Tweek dropped his thermos, spilling the coffee inside all over the snow. Good mood vanishing at once, Craig cursed loudly and stooped down, grabbing the container and managing to salvage some of the coffee inside. "Shit," he repeated again, looking at the espresso-stained snow in frustration. "Sorry."

As he took the thermos and quickly gulped down the remaining liquid, Tweek shivered and muttered, "N-no, it's fine. My parents made it for me today and there was something weird about it." Twitching the boy stared at his feet for a moment before suddenly letting out a growl. "Jesus! I'm just still so p-pissed!"

Getting to his feet and handing the boy the lid, Craig said, "Yeah, I get it." Though it didn't really show on his face, he was sort of peeved at Cartman and his stubborn ass attitude as well. He wished there was something he could do to actually get something done, but so far, they'd just spent the day fighting over ideas and they hadn't gotten a single fucking thing done. Even with Bebe there to help soothe everyone's frazzled nerves, the tension had just kept building. At least they were outside now, but he could tell that this was also stressing Tweek out, probably because now they didn't know what was going on.

"Got kicked out, huh?" Looking around, Craig found Russell staring up at them, a rueful expression on his face. Shrugging, letting out a breath, Craig nodded at the boy, who muttered, "Whatever, they're assholes. They'll probably be in there all day."

"Dude, we could hear you yelling at Cartman from out here!" Terry called from where he was sitting with Scott beside the fire. "Tweek, man, you're a monster! Honestly, that was the best thing I've heard all day."

"Ghn- D-don't you ever feel like screaming at him?" Tweek asked, fumbling to clip his thermos back onto his belt. Stumbling over to the fire, Craig in tow, the blond sat down on the overturned log that had been put out as a seat and mumbled, "He's s-so frustrating sometimes! And Princess Kenny isn't making anything better!"

Standing beside Tweek, Craig tugged his faceguard up a little higher before flatly saying, "They're going to get us killed, that's what they're going to do." Terry nodded gravely at that, and Russell let out a growl that sounded unbelievably frustrated.

"You're right," the fourth-grader muttered bitterly. "I mean I know Token's good but if they don't listen to him then he's not helpful at all." Kicking at the ground, Russell added, "And honestly, recently no one's had any good ideas. I wish we could go back to those times when the Humans actually kicked ass."

Jerking, Tweek almost tumbled over backward as he exclaimed, "RRR- W-We did kick ass!" As Craig moved and caught the boy with his legs so he didn't fall over, Tweek continued, "The Grand Wizard used to make good –ghn- choices! And we were able to actually do something!" Leaning tiredly against Craig, like the bones had vacated his body, the blond mumbled, "Now all we do is lose and lose again! Jesus, I'm s-sick of going into battle and getting destroyed, man!"

"We all are Tweek, we all are," Terry agreed. Getting to his feet, the Mage stretched before saying, "But, all this moaning and groaning isn't going to get us anywhere." Turning to the other three boy's Terry said, "Jesse said his patrol is a little thin today, I'm going to go help out. They're up by the police station and the Elves have been particularly shitty today apparently. Wanna come with?"

As Russell hurried to get to his feet, Craig looked down at Tweek, who was already staring up at him. Unable to mistake that look of interest in the boy's eyes, Craig raised a brow, only to earn himself a tentative and nervously excited smile from Tweek. Well, that settles that. "Fuck it, why not," Craig deadpanned, sucking in his cheeks. "It's not like we have anything else to do."

"Y-yeah!" Tweek agreed, getting to his feet quickly and giving himself a shake to knock off any of the snow clinging to him. "I'm s-sick of just doing nothing!" When Russell let out a whoop and Terry smiled, Tweek finally gave a true grin. "Let's go m-mess up some Elves!"

As the boys left the yard, Craig following along behind Tweek as normal, the Noirette allowed himself to zone out. The other boys kept chattering about something, reliving a battle they'd all been in together. He could still remember it, the fateful battle where they'd lost the church to the Drow Elves but taken down at least twice as many soldiers as they'd lost. Tweek had ended up with a black eye after that one, but he'd been proud of it, which in turn had left Craig feeling proud of him. After all, it wasn't often that Tweek was okay with getting hurt.

Thoughts sort of spinning around Tweek as they usually ended up doing, Craig recalled the night before, falling asleep on the floor only to wake up and find Tweek holding Stripe and telling the guinea pig a story about stone men and pebble monsters. Looking back on it, Craig reflected that Tweek had definitely changed a lot in the time he'd known the boy. It used to be he would have never cursed at Cartman, never sat awake in the dark without freaking out, never have been anywhere close to as brave as he was now, but things had changed. Craig was glad, but at the same time, he wondered if he was changing as well.

Because after having some time the night before, while he watched Tweek whisper to his guinea pig, to think things over, he was realizing that a lot of things were changing. He was getting closer to Tweek for one, and though he assumed that was normal, that didn't explain the warm, happy feeling that blossomed in his chest as he listened to Tweek's story travel into talking about the Noirette instead. As Tweek had told Stripe that Craig had looked really cool for the wedding and that he'd looked like he could take down a million Elves single-handedly, Craig's insides had turned into a weird gooey mess that he didn't really like. It was stupid, but things were going sideways.

And after talking to Bebe for a while, Craig had just sort of accepted that it was normal, but it was at times like this when his head was clear and Tweek was there practically glowing in the sun that he wondered if maybe something was horribly wrong. If it was, he had to admit that this wasn't a bad way to go out. It was certainly a lot more pleasing than the slow and painful torture he'd had to go through for the wedding. But at the same time, it sort of scared him.

Why was Tweek so damn special.

It was a weird thought to have, and he banished it quickly. Needing to distract himself, Craig stepped up beside Tweek and caught the boy's hand, watching as the boy jumped in surprised before glancing up at the Noirette, blinking twice, then returning to his conversation with the other boys. Focusing on the feeling of Tweek's cold fingers in his gloved hand, Craig settled back down, simply staring at the horizon as they walked.

As they went, the conversation started to register in Craig's mind once more, bringing him back into the present in bits and pieces. "You know what I want," Terry was saying, waving his hands around expressively as he walked. "I want to get the team back together and take out some Elves. Just to show that us Humans aren't as weak as they think!"

"T-team?" Tweek asked, shivering and letting out an involuntary sound. Craig didn't blame him, and he raised an eyebrow skeptically at the Mage. Yeah, when have the Humans ever been able to form any sort of team? It was honestly pathetic how spread out their faction had become over the past few months. It was quite the contrast to the Elves, who had only grown stronger and more compact as a group.

Grinning, Terry nudged the blonde's side, pushing him into Craig slightly. "Yeah, you know, with you two as the leaders and a bunch of us following you!" Terry explained, falling back into step beside Russell once more. "I mean, I get that the forest mission was a one-time thing, but honestly, this game hasn't been that fun in ages. Look at us, we're having weddings for Christ's sake! Who does that in a fighting game?!"

"You know, that would be pretty cool," Russell agreed, thrusting his chin into the air proudly at the memory. "We tore those Elves apart." Pulling a face, he added, "And you've got a point, weddings are kind of lame. No offence Craig, Bebe's really sweet and everything, but come on, girls weren't supposed to be playing in the first place."

"Yeah," Craig agreed, squeezing Tweek's hand as he spoke. He knew the boy still wasn't used to Bebe being around and it worried him, especially after everything that had happened. "It fucking blows, but I dunno dude, what can you do?" A knot of guilt rose up at that, but he pushed it down resolutely. Sure, he should have done more to stop Kenny from screwing things up, but it would get better. The game couldn't last forever.

"True that," Russell agreed as they turned into the police station. "Girls man, they ruin everything." As they crossed into Human territory, they were met by Jesse, who ran to greet them. Upon seeing Tweek and Craig, his eyes widened and he let out a groan.

"You didn't have to bring them too!" he exclaimed, punching Terry on the arm in irritation. "It's just a few Elves man, I told you! Heck, the Elves aren't even here anymore!"

"What, didn't think to leave any for us!?" Terry complained, nudging the boy back. "Come on man, that's so not cool. We even brought Tweek and Craig, the monster duo, to help us out." Rubbing his knuckles together, the Mage added, "And here I thought we were going to get to have some fun for once."

"Actually, the truth is they sort of got bored and left," Daniel admitted from behind the boy, walking forward. Looking Tweek and Craig over carefully, the boy raised an eyebrow and commented, "Got thrown out of the war room I see."

"I –ghn- c-couldn't keep my mouth shut," Tweek pushed out, letting go of Craig's hand so he could grab for his club and squeeze the handle. "Jesus, all they're doing is arguing, w-we're never going to win anything if they can't even agree on s-simple things." Twitching hard, he exclaimed, "AUGH! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!"

"The Grand Wizard is a grand dick," Craig summarized for the Jew blandly, not bothering to react to the snickering his words produced from both Terry and Russell. Humming under his breath, Daniel just watched him, as though he was thinking something over. Knowing that look because it was the same one Token got when he was puzzling over something, Craig let it roll off of him and just ruffled Tweek's hair, calming the boy down enough that he stopped strangling his frying pan.

"You know, I was just talking to Craig and Tweek about the old days when Humans used to be cool," Terry said, crossing his arms and puffing out his cheeks before grinning at Jesse. "Remember it? When we totally kicked ass? I still can't get over how awesome we were during that forest battle."

"Ugh, there's no way that would happen again!" Jesse complained, tapping his wooden sword against the snow in irritation.

"Jesus, n-no way man!" Tweek exclaimed, drawing his own frying pan and stepping back from the other boys so he could swing it and invisible enemies with unrestrained fervor. Growling, he burst, "THEY JUST KEEP TALKING! WE NEVER GET TO FIGHT!" His frying pan was stopped as Russell caught it, engaging the boy in a duel.

"If we could all fight again like that, just picture what we could do!" Russell exclaimed, dancing around Tweek and jabbing in quickly, stopping just short of hitting the boy's stomach. In return, Tweek swept his frying pan at the boy's legs, causing the Warrior to skip away to keep from being blown over. "I mean, look at us! What could just the six of us do?"

"That's what I've been thinking about," Daniel admitted, crossing his arms and moving closer to Craig. Looking down slightly at the boy, the Noirette raised an eyebrow that was met by a slight smile on the Jew's face. "I mean, what could we do. If I recall correctly, the reason we managed to kill the Elves last time so effectively was because we had some advanced knowledge."

"But there's no way we'd get something like that again," Terry pointed out as Jesse encouraged Tweek and Russell excitedly, while still yelling at them not to actually hurt each other. "I mean Craig had to take a picture of their strategies, how would we be able to do that again."

Suddenly looking up from the fight, Tweek's eyes widened and he bounced on the balls of his feet, almost getting knocked over by Russell, who forgot to pull his swing before it hit the blond. Undetered by this, simply straightening and staring at Daniel, Tweek asked, "C-could we do something like that again?!"

As the other boys started to get excited and Daniel tipped his head back so he could grin in delight, Craig felt a bubble of his own excitement filling him. "You're saying that the six of us should fucking invade the Elves just so we can get a look at their strategies?"

"Who said anything about invading?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows mischievously. "I'm just talking about making a scene. What you and Tweek do about it is your business."

Grinning from ear to ear, Terry rolled his shoulders and said, "Oh, I am going to like this."