An Unhealthy Escape
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Hello! Thank you for all the reviews I got! I didn't expect so many. I love hearing feedback, even if it's just to tell me I need to fix something, or that you don't like something. Also, thank you for all the suggestions!
I had one complaint from someone that I am writing like a teenager. I don't exactly know what was meant by that, but I am fourteen years old so I am in fact a teenager.
I have tried to look at everyone's suggestions and fix these problems, and I am trying to fix a few character issues as well. So thank you to everyone who reviewed! Milo.
Chapter 14
"Why are all these people here?" asked Harry. He didn't look very happy about it.
"Because we are here to help you Harry," answered Dumbledore.
"Why does he need all these people to help him?" Ginny asked.
"I'm not saying anything in front of all these people. Especially not him," Harry said, nodding towards professor Snape.
"Albus, it is clear that the boy doesn't want me here either, can I leave?" Severus asked snidely.
"No. Minerva, Poppy, perhaps it might be best if you wait outside for a moment. Severus I want you here," Dumbledore replied. McGonagall and Poppy left the room, giving the two teens a sad look. "Alright, now it is just the four of us. Will you talk to us?" Albus asked gently.
"No, why is he still here?" Harry asked, again nodding towards Snape.
"Because Professor Snape works with a lot of Slytherins who have had similar home lives to your own. I believe that he could help you," Dumbledore told him patiently.
Snape frowned at Albus for a minute. Surely he didn't mean… no. he couldn't. Pampered Potter can't have been abused, that's impossible. He was just like his father, arrogant and conceited, spoilt and pampered. The foolish boy was probably just making a fuss out of nothing. Maybe his relatives accidently bumped him one morning. Or maybe they teased him a bit. That would be it. Stupid Potter, always creating problems out of nothing.
"With all due respect Professor," Ginny said, a slight sarcastic tone in her voice, "how is Professor Snape going to be able to help Harry if the two of them hate each other's guts?" Dumbledore chuckled.
"I think they can find a way around it. Now Harry, will you tell us what has been going on?"
"Nothing," said Harry. He knew it was stupid, and Sirius and Remus had probably already told Dumbledore what had happened, but he still didn't want to talk about it. He didn't even know if he could talk about it. The only person he had ever talked to was Ginny, but that was different. Harry knew that Ginny wouldn't reject him, wouldn't think he was stupid for just wanting to escape the pain that tore at his insides. Sure she would tell him off for hurting himself, but he thought that was part of the reason he felt comfortable with her.
She wasn't afraid to treat him like a normal person, despite all the stuff he'd been through. She wasn't afraid to tell him he was being a great bloody prat when he was in a mood. He knew she wouldn't treat him like he was fragile or broken. She would treat him just like she would anyone else. Even if she was being a little hypocritical, Harry could understand that. All he wanted to do was to take away her blade and forbid her from causing herself pain, even though he had been mad at her for trying to do the exact same thing to him. It hurt him to see her hurting herself, even though he knew why she did it, even though he did it himself.
"Harry, come now. I understand you don't want to talk about it, and I understand that you feel we are invading your privacy. But if one of my students is in a dangerous situation, then I need to know about it. Even if you don't want me to know. Harry this can't go on and I think you know that. So please, talk to us. You can trust every person in this room, and you can be assured that we will not tell anyone else what is said in here unless completely necessary and we will not do so without informing you. I cannot promise that we will not do so without your consent, but we will allow you to have a large amount of control over who does and doesn't' know about this," said Dumbledore gently. Harry could see that the headmaster was gravely worried about him. All the staff had told him that Dumbledore cared a great deal about him; even the portraits in Dumbledore's office had told him that.
Harry sighed in defeat. He knew he had to tell them. Hell, a part of him wanted to tell them, just to get it all off his chest. "Let's start with the Dursleys Harry. Sirius tells me that they've hurt you?"
"Er… yes they did. But it's not bad or anything. It's nothing," Harry told him. Dumbledore merely raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing?" he asked.
"Nothing," Harry confirmed. Sirius' eyes fluttered closed as he tried to keep his temper under control.
"Harry, please don't do this," Sirius pleaded. "You know it's not nothing. What I saw this morning was definitely something. Also Ginny said you were wearing glamours. I don't know how on earth she knew that, but knowing you she's probably right and you have covered up most of the damage. Please just show us Harry. We want to help you," Sirius looked his godson in the eyes and saw all of the pain and fear that he had been hiding. He truly felt sorry for him. He remembered how hard it had been when Minerva had found out about his home life.
"Fine," Harry said. He stood up and slowly took off his shirt. Dumbledore stifled a gasp when he realized how malnourished Harry looked. There was an empty hollow where his stomach should be, and he could see every bone through his skin. Snape frowned. Why did he look like this? Was starving himself some petty cry for attention? Then Harry turned around. There were scars covering most of his back. All of them were healed which struck Dumbledore as odd. If Harry had been at his relatives less than three weeks ago, shouldn't there be new ones?
Snape was in shock. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was being forced to completely reevaluate any opinions that he had made about Harry. He had always thought him to be the pampered prince the media made him out to be. Just like his father had been. But here was proof that he was not. As Severus looked at the scars and thought about everything the other teachers had said about him, remembered his courage standing up for his friends when he picked on the Gryffindors, he realized what everyone had been telling him all along. He was so much like Lily. There was barely any of James in his personality. The Weasley girl had been right; he saw James' face and hair and judged him based on his father's personality. Oh how wrong he had been.
"Harry, how long has this been going on? Some of these look quite old," Dumbledore asked.
"Since I was about five. That's when they started making me do all the work around the house. I would be punished for doing anything wrong. It got worse when I started doing accidental magic," Harry told them quietly.
"Harry, I would like you to take off the glamours please," Dumbledore said.
"I-I'm not allowed to do underage magic," Harry said, trying to get out of showing them the worst of the abuse.
"Harry, this house has wards on it that prevent the Ministry from detecting underage magic. I'm sure you already knew that. I would ask that you please do not make Mr. and Mr. Weasley aware of this fact, for I believe we would not be allowed a moments rest. Also, Molly may have a nervous breakdown," Dumbledore smiled. Harry and Ginny laughed at this. They couldn't imagine the hell Fred and George would unleash if they could do magic. Harry turned back around to face hem and took his wand from his pocket. He waved it over himself, silently removing the charms. Everyone in the room gasped.
Immediately, his arm swelled to twice its normal size. It appeared to be badly broken. His ribs stuck out even more if that was possible, and dark purple and black bruises covered his ribcage and stomach. They appeared to be starting to heal around the edges, where they were turning a nasty blue color. Dumbledore looked down at his stomach and had to fight to suppress the surge of magic that had risen up inside him because of his rage. There, engraved on Harry's stomach was the word 'Freak'. It looked like it had been cut into him with a knife of some sort.
"Turn around," Sirius said hoarsely. Harry turned around. His back was even worse. There was not a part of his back that had not been turned a different color. It was decorated with blues, purples, black and red. There were indeed fresh belt marks across his back, some of them still bloody, possibly from where he had slept on them. There were three vertical scars running down the length of his back. They looked like they had been very deep cuts. Across Harry's shoulder blades someone had carved the word 'Useless'.
"Harry, why did you never tell anybody about this?" asked Dumbledore. Harry was embarrassed to see tears in the old man's eyes.
"Because it's nothing. It doesn't matter, I can handle it," Harry said.
"I do not doubt that you are strong Harry, but you shouldn't have to be able to handle this. It does matter a great deal Harry," Dumbledore told him.
"Harry, I am so sorry. I never knew about this and I should have. I am so sorry Kid," Sirius said. It was taking all of the restraint he had not to cry in front of all these people.
"It's not your fault!" Harry exclaimed, horrified he could think that. "I didn't tell you, there's no way that you could have known!"
"That doesn't matter. I am meant to be your godfather. I am supposed to be here for you. I am supposed to help you. But I didn't. I am so sorry," Sirius told him.
"It's not your fault Sirius!" Ginny told him. "Merlin you're almost as bad as Harry!" Harry snorted.
"Gin, I think he's worse," Harry said.
"No, I don't think anyone is as bad as you Harry," Ginny smirked. Harry sighed.
"It was worth a try," he grumbled. Ginny snickered at his childishness. It was good to see him act like a teenager sometimes. Harry smiled gratefully at her. That was another reason he loved her; even in the darkest of times she would still find some reason to laugh. Some way to make everybody smile even if it was just for a minute.
"Foolish children. This is not a laughing matter!" Snape told them.
"Ah my dear boy, sometimes that is precisely why we laugh," Albus smiled at him. Severus just looked at him as if he had completely lost the plot. Harry and Ginny chuckled quietly. Sirius and Remus were staring at Harry's battered torso. How had they been so blind as to not realize? Harry seemed to read their thoughts.
"It's not your fault," he reminded them. He could tell they didn't believe him.
"Why did they do this to you Harry?" Remus asked, horrified at the scars and wounds on the boy's back.
"Because they think I'm a freak, they thought my mother was a freak, they thought my dad was a useless piece of garbage and they think that magic in any shape or form is unnatural and should not exist. Oh, and I learnt when I was around eight that using your imagination apparently counts as magic. They beat me for that too," The adults all stared at him, at a loss as to why those scumbags would do such things to such a wonderful young boy just because of who his parents were.
"What are those three scars on you back from?" asked Sirius, his eyes made of dark fire, burning with rage.
"Er… well," Harry mumbled. He seemed embarrassed. "I got them for, erm, screaming during the night. I, uh, woke them up," Harry stuttered. Ginny looked at him with a sad frown. When she had had nightmares at home, her mother had brought her hot milk; she had talked to her and made her feel better. She would sit with her until she fell asleep again. She couldn't imagine being beaten just because she had a nightmare. She didn't want to imagine it.
"Oh Harry," Ginny whispered wrapping her arms around his waist. Harry patted her on the back hesitantly. He didn't like showing affection in front of people.
"What about the… the words. What are they from?" Sirius asked his godson, his eyes tearing up.
"Can I put my shirt back on?" asked Harry. He was feeling very uncomfortable with this whole conversation, and the fact that he still wasn't wearing a shirt made him even more terrified. On the surface he looked fairly calm, like he was handling the situation rather well. But underneath, his mind was screaming at him to stop talking. All his life he had learnt that the way to protect himself was just to not talk. He hated talking about himself.
It was so hard, sharing his deepest darkest secrets with these people as if they were nothing. He hated talking to people about anything, even if it was just a conversation about homework or something. He could probably count on one hand the amount of people he felt comfortable having just a casual conversation with. This was so much worse. Every part of his mind was telling him to run, to hide and never come out, and to just stop talking. But he knew that he couldn't do that. If he did he would just be dragged back and it would make things ten times worse.
"Yes Harry, you may," Severus said. Everyone looked at him in surprise, apart from Dumbledore. Dumbledore smiled at Severus, his eyes twinkling. Once Harry got over his shock, he reached down and grabbed his shirt, hurriedly pulling it over his head.
"Now, what are the words from?" asked Sirius again firmly. He felt like breaking down, just collapsing on the floor and crying. His godson had been so badly abused and he hadn't been there. If only he had not gone after Peter that night. He would never forgive himself for this. But right now, he needed to stay strong. If he started breaking apart it would make Harry feel so much worse.
"It doesn't really matter," Harry said uncertainly. It was clear he didn't really want to share these stories.
"You don't have to tell us Harry," Snape interrupted, glaring at Sirius. Sirius looked like he was about to say something, but Remus put a comforting hand on his arm. Sirius looked furiously at Snape.
"But you do have to tell us about the scars and cuts on your wrists," Dumbledore said. "How did they come to be there Harry?"
"Sir, I think you already know. Me telling you would just be a waste of time," Harry said bluntly. Snape had to hold back a smile at the boy's bravery, disobeying Dumbledore.
"Yes, well Harry. Why are they there?" asked Dumbledore, still kindly.
"Because I put them there," was Harry's answer. Ginny giggled, but quickly turned it into a cough when Remus shot her a sharp look. Sirius would probably be laughing if the conversation wasn't so serious.
"Yes Harry, we know, but why did you put them there?"
"Because I wanted them there."
"Why did you want them there?"
"Because I did."
"That's not very helpful Harry."
"It wasn't meant to be."
"I see we are not going to get very far with this conversation."
"No, no we aren't." Harry and Dumbledore looked at each other. Snape was now trying to hide his grin and Ginny was giggling into Harry's shoulder again. Even Remus and Sirius were now smiling. Dumbledore seemed the only one who was not amused at Harry's antics.
"You need to talk about it Harry," Dumbledore encouraged gently.
"Fine, I'll talk about it," Harry told him. Everyone looked at him in shock. "In a few hundred years when we're all dead."
"Yes, but then you can't talk about it, you'll be dead," Dumbledore pointed out.
"I'm not very good with logic, I just don't want to talk about it," Harry replied casually.
"Alright, that is enough I think," Dumbledore said. His voice had remained calm and gently throughout the conversation, if you could even call it that, although you could tell that he was getting quite annoyed.
"Why don't we finish this meeting after some lunch?" Remus suggested, seeing that the headmaster was getting rather fed up with the teen's nonsense.
"Good idea Moony. Also, you two had better pack, you'll be going back to school in a few days," Sirius said. Harry and Ginny nodded, and Harry ran from the room, dragging Ginny behind him, before anyone could say anything else. Ginny and Harry didn't slow their pace until they had almost reached the kitchen.
"Harry you do need to talk about this you know," Ginny said softly.
"I know IGn, but how would you feel if they told you that you had to talk about your cuts?" Harry asked.
"I know. I know I'm being a hypocrite and I'm probably annoying the hell out of you Harry, but I care about you so much. I just want to see you get better, and if that means being a hypocritical bitch then so be it," Ginny told him firmly. Harry chuckled.
"Fine, but I'm doing the same to you," Harry said. Ginny rolled her eyes.
"I guess I can't argue, can I?" she asked.
"Nope," Harry replied before walking into the kitchen. Ginny followed behind shaking her head. This was going to be a hard few days for both of them.
A/N: Hello! I really don't like this chapter. Sorry, it's not great. I hop the next one will be better! Milo.
