"Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work."
-Quintus Horatius Flaccus Horace
People called Tony a lot of things.
Genius, playboy, philanthropist, billionaire. The one and only Ironman.
And there were some names that were passed around with suspicious glances, and hushed whispers.
Weapons dealer, Merchant of Death.
Murderer.
And he agreed with all of them, the good and the bad. What was there not to agree with?
But he couldn't help but snort when someone decided to call him a lazy asshole.
He was an asshole, yes. And a big one at that.
But he couldn't figure out for the life of him why people called him lazy. Sure, he might have had a notorious reputation for sleeping around with other women. For wasting his money on lucrative items (it wasn't his fault that his favorite coffee was so expensive).
But still, how could have Stark Industries grown to be as successful as it was today if it wasn't for the countless sleepless nights? The hours mulling over paperwork and media interviews?
To be honest, Pepper did most of the paperwork for him now, but that was only because he had the Avengers to take care of now. Seriously, they seemed to think it was a good idea to put their weapons in the blender every single day, because the repairs somehow kept on flowing into his lab.
Clint kept using his bow like a baseball bat, even with his new quiver upgrade, and when Tony finally offered to give him a real awesome-looking staff, Clint just looked at him like he was the one that went crazy.
"Why would I need a stick when I have a perfectly good bow over here?" He gestured to his dented bow with a confused wave.
(Even a two year could understand that a bow was supposed to be for shooting, not smacking things like a baseball bat, Clint.)
Then there was this one time when Thor though it was a good idea to put his magical hammer into the washing machine. That worked out just as well as if someone decided to place a block of solid steel and whirled it around in a paper bag.
So the Avengers got a spanking, brand-new washing machine that could talk and make coffee. And for some strange reason, the machine wasn't very fond of Thor, and decided that splashing him with soapy water was the best way to get revenge.
SHIELD was even worse, with Fury always whining about getting new toys or fancy weapons, or making sure that the Avengers had a good reputation. And guess who Fury went to when the media unraveled some tasty gossip about the Avengers?
He tried going to Natasha and Clint, but they just looked grumpy all the time. Their twin death glares and creepy I'm-going-to-murder-you-in-your-sleep smirks didn't help at all, and instead scared off nearly all the reporters (one actually pissed in his pants).
Bruce outright refused to appear on television, stating how "the green guy really doesn't like flashing cameras" before disappearing into his lab.
Fury even tried with Thor, who managed to break all the cameras with a bolt of lightning, and guess what, Tony was the one who had to pay for the damages that ensued from the chaos.
Even Steve, the most "mature" one out of the Avengers, didn't mix with the media. The last time when he was interviewed, the show ended up with three different women swooning over him, a very frustrated reporter, and a delayed interview with a very confused Steve dressed up as a clown (don't even ask).
So everyone relied on Tony to clear everything up with his good looks and charms (Natasha apparently didn't agree, but whatever, women).
He was the one who had the experience dodging the poisonous media, the judging eyes of the press, and the traps that everyone laid out like mines in a war field. After all, that was his forte from when he was younger, and still had Howard to carefully monitor his activities in from of the press.
In other words, he was Tony Stark.
So he had to single-handedly shoulder the burden of the creation of technology in three different companies, deal with life-threatening aliens, and still make his appearance on television because none of the other Avengers were suited for public media.
In short, there was no way that Tony could be a "lazy" asshole. He could agree with asshole, but lazy? Nope.
If a stranger called him lazy, then he could give him some slack. After all, it wasn't like his work and activities were broadcasted to the entire world.
They didn't know about his constant repairs he had to do every single night after an invasion. They didn't know about the sheer amount of technology he had to upgrade or invent simply to keep his own company aloft. It wasn't really their business to know, and he was fine with that.
But when he overheard the other Avengers call him lazy, well that was a huge nono.
Strangers were one thing. The Avengers was a whole different slice of cake altogether.
First of all, they lived with him like every single day. And they still didn't notice how much effort he had to put into keeping everything in orbit?
Absolutely mental.
He was just emerging from his lab after a day of grinding repairs, and he was sweaty, exhausted, and in desperate need of a long drink of coffee to wake him up. Not to mention the throbbing headache he had due to another night of absolutely no sleep. So when he heard Clint's chuckle in the kitchen, he hesitated before striding in, because he didn't want them to see him in his "mega-bitchy" faze.
He heard Steve absentmindedly ask, "Where's Tony?"
Natasha snorted. "Honestly? Probably drunk off his ass in his lab."
Wow, he was really feeling the love here.
Clint hummed in agreement. "Yea, I asked Jarvis today, and he mentioned something about Tony having a 'killer headache' today."
Bruce coughed, but didn't protest.
He could almost sense the waves of disapproval radiate off of Steve when said superhuman responded, "Sometimes it's just-"
A pause, then a long, drawn-out sigh. "He's just so… lazy."
What.
He did not just go there.
Thor munched on something, before mumbling, "But he's a great warrior of Midgard."
Steve quickly asserted, "That's true. But there are still the times when he doesn't do his share of the work. Remember when we had to go and debrief, and Tony just randomly left in the middle of the meeting?"
Well, sorry for having a broken rib.
To be fair, he didn't really say anything before leaving the room rather quickly. But he thought they realized because, hello, there were two spies on the team.
He waited for someone, anyone, to speak up. Because they knew him better than that, they had to-
Mutters of agreement passed throughout the room.
Were they being fucking serious?
He silently strolled away from the door, because he really didn't need to hear another word. Lazy, his ass.
Snorting, he crept back downstairs in his lab, before grimly smiling to himself.
He was going to show him what the definition of lazy really was.
A couple of hours later, he had his bags packed, sunglasses on, and a private helicopter on the roof.
At first, Pepper was absolutely pissed at him, because there was no warning whatsoever. Just a phone call, a quick "I need a vacation," and instructions to get a jet ready for Malibu. But after she heard his explanation, and his quick reassurance that yes, he was still going do all the necessary work and inventions for the SI, she agreed resignedly.
Still no rest for the weary, even on his impromptu "vacation."
But when he strutted down to the living room, where all the other Avengers were lying around, they were less than pleased.
"You did WHAT?" Clint growled.
Tony raised an eyebrow. "Well Katniss, I've decided to take a quick vacation in the beaches of Malibu."
At Thor's questioning look, he continued, "It's something called relaxing."
Clint's fingers inched closer to his bow.
Natasha eyed him coolly. "Spill the real reason Stark, or I swear, I'm going to nail your guts on the wall for everyone to see."
Considering that she was picking her fingernails with a very large knife, he didn't doubt her.
Before he lost his precious insides, he quickly responded with a flashy smile, teeth bared. "I just thought you guys might have appreciated one less lazy guy left in the tower, hmm?"
Cue the disbelieving looks.
Bruce sighed unhappily, walking out of the living room a shade greener. Although when he passed Tony, he did apologetically glance at him. At least someone was feeling sorry.
But Steve pressed a hand to his face wearily, and mumbled, "Are you serious?"
Natasha shook her head, a look of annoyance on her face, sharing a frustrated look with Clint.
All the work he had put into everything, and he got this? The sleepless nights, Clint's annoying bow problem, and all the coffee he had to sacrifice just to stay awake through the day?
When Steve leaned in with the "oh, I'm the righteous one so you'd better listen to me" expression on his face, Tony slammed a hand down on the table, because he had enough.
A huge crack reverberated throughout the room. Everyone stopped mumbling, and stared at the newly-formed dent on the table.
Whoops. That might have been a bit too much?
Eh whatever, sucks for them. He wasn't going to deal with them anymore.
He started pacing around the room, ignoring his throbbing hand, and snorted, "Yes, I'm serious Cap."
Steve started, but Tony interrupted him with a snarl. "I've been working my ass off for the past few months, and I'm not dealing with all your bullshit on being lazy or some nonsense like that."
He whirled around to face everyone in the room, nearly smacking into a flabbergasted Thor.
"I've had a certain… question for a while now."
Everyone stared at him, as he slowly put a hand to his chin mockingly, pretending to be in deep thought.
"How well can you guys survive in Tony Stark's tower without a Tony Stark?"
A humorless grin stretched across his face as he watched Natasha's eyes widen.
"What are you doing, Sta-"
He interrupted her smoothly, pushing his sunglasses further into his face. "I'll bet a million dollars that it's going to be less than a single. Fucking. Day."
And with that, he strolled out of the room, giving a cheerful salute to the rest of the silent Avengers.
As he arrived on the roof, and climbed into the helicopter, he let go of his breath that he didn't know that he was holding.
Was it childish, throwing a temper-tantrum because of single word?
Yes.
But was it totally worth it?
Hell yeah.
Anyways, he snorted inwardly, as the plane lifted off from the ground, he was an absolute pro at childish things.
When he returned from Malibu in good spirits, and a lot less exhausted than he was a week ago (no repairing Clint's bow for an entire week), he honestly didn't expect the welcome back he got from the rest of the Avengers.
Bruce reached him first, and patted him on the shoulder with a relieved look on his face. He muttered to him softly, "We didn't even get past the first hour without something lighting on fire."
Tony couldn't help but snicker.
Then the rest of the team rushed towards him, speaking all at once.
"The stove burnt down, and we had to have microwaved food the whole week, and it was absolutely terrible."
"My baby snapped in half and-" (That was probably Clint… hopefully no real babies were harmed, although he wouldn't put it past anything.)
"Seriously, Jarvis wasn't responding to anything."
"The bathroom flooded, and then we broke the heater system, so we had to wash with cold water in a flooded mess."
He gaped at his team surrounding him.
Thor was nearly in tears, babbling about something to do with the toaster breaking, and having no more poptarts as he nearly cracked a rib hugging Tony.
Clint was holding his broken bow awkwardly, singing praises at Tony for returning because he nearly went insane after his bow broke three days ago (he really must have been really upset, because him singing praises was something… new).
Steve stood behind Natasha, and grinned at Tony sheepishly.
"Sorry for calling you lazy."
He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I guess I didn't fully realize how much- like how much you actually did in the tower, until you left."
Clint jabbed him, hard.
"Say it."
Steve looked back at him confusedly. "Say what?"
"The thing we practiced so he doesn't decide and abandon us again."
Steve sighed reluctantly, but gave in.
"Tony Stark is-
He paused, and glared at Clint, who was making pleading gestures with his hands.
"He's going to get a bigger ego after this, Clint."
"I don't care. As long as my bow is fixed, I'm happy."
Steve shrugged resignedly and faced Tony.
"…the best?"
Tony burst into laughter, and nearly collapsed to the ground. "I'm keeping this memory forever."
"Of course you are," Natasha groaned, with the slightest hint of fondness in her voice.
"Next time you guys don't agree with me, I'm just going to ditch the tower."
Immediately, five different voices snarled in response.
"Don't you ever do that again."
Hello! Sorry this chapter got out so late, I was on a trip to China for the past ten days, and the wifi there is pretty funky.
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, thanks for the follows, favs, and review. I really wanted to write something about Tony throwing a tantrum over some small thing, because imo, he would definitely create a big ruckus over little issues. And this is a scene before Ultron was created, so they're still somewhat getting to know each other.
Still up for PMs as usual!
