Butters

Kenny was pretty.

Not in a girlish sense, or even in a masculine sense either. Some things, like Kenny, transcended these narrow ways that beauty could be viewed and became something else. Something innately beautiful that didn't need to be defined by attraction and instead could be called beautiful without it carrying any sort of connotations.

That was Kenny in a nutshell, or at least, that was Kenny to Butters.

This was actually something the happy boy thought about a lot even though he probably shouldn't, kind of like someone might stare at a sunrise and think wow, that might leave me blind, but I want to watch it forever. He really did try not to dwell on it, because he had a feeling that Kenny might find it weird to know how much Butters thought about the roguish boy, but despite his best efforts, it was still a thing that took up a lot of the boy's mental space. Of course he could have obfuscated the matter by pointing out that he spent a lot of time thinking about his friends in general, but whenever Kenny cropped up into the picture, Butters found that he'd end up dwelling on the boy in general and eventually, those thoughts would travel to how the boy looked.

With his sandy blond hair, those freckles that dotted his cheeks, and his beautifully bright, blue eyes, he looked sort of like an angel. Maybe a fallen, mischievous angel, but still angelic all the same. Now, it wasn't actually a weird thing for Butters to compare his friends to other things. Like Stan was a German Shepard puppy, and Kyle was like a firecracker, and Cartman was a grumpy garden gnome. Those were all fairly ordinary things though, so even when Butters was attempting to be particularly dense when it came to his own thoughts, he could admit there was a rather large difference between lawn ornaments and holy beings. He would never have said any of it out loud, because it seemed a little embarrassing to just say that he thought Kenny was an angel, but he still thought it privately.

Right now of course, Butters was more easily able to categorize what his friend looked like. In his current incarnation, Kenny looked like a princess. His golden blond wig was flying out behind him in a wave of rippling hair and his dress fluttered and glittered with every move he made, making it rather hard to call him anything but royalty. Butters thought he made a wonderful girl, though he thought that Kenny's version of beautiful meant that he looked just as good as a boy. He would have been pretty no matter what he was wearing, so perhaps it didn't really matter.

Still, it wasn't every guy who could manage to pull off outrageous makeup and pink crinoline with such dignity and pride.

He had always sort of thought that Kenny was beautiful, since he'd met the boy in fact. It had been all the way back when Cartman and Stan and Kyle had tried to use Butters as the sandy-blond's replacement that Butters had first encountered Kenny. At the time, when he'd been attempting to fill that hole in the group of friends, Butters hadn't realized who he was replacing, not entirely. The only reason he'd signed up for the task at all was because he figured it would be nice to have some friends plus it seemed like the other boys needed a friend that could make the loss of their old one more manageable. Eventually, Butters had been forced to accept that it wasn't that easy to make people feel better, and things had started to get complicated, but then Kenny had reappeared and things had gone back to normal.

And Butters had gotten to stick around.

The first time he'd met Kenny, the boy had instantly singled him out, winked at him, and told him he had pretty eyes. To this day, Butters wasn't too sure if Kenny had been making that part up, but it had still made him blush and squirm to have an angel tell him he was beautiful. Perhaps his reaction had been wrong, but it hadn't mattered that they'd been in second grade at the time and things had sort of just happened naturally from there. As time went on, Butters quickly learned that Kenny acted flirtatious with everyone and didn't seem to be putting on a special show for the naive blond, which had caused similar incidents to fade into the background because Butters figured it was normal for Kenny, but that first memory, that singular compliment had stuck with him.

Maybe this was because Kenny was special. Of course, Butters firmly believed that everyone was special in their own way, and even the worst person was really a wonderful human once you dug deep enough, but Kenny didn't fit this description. He was the exception to Butters' world view, and that made him stand out as an anomaly. Because no matter how much digging Butters had done, he'd never been able to find something truly good in Kenny, but he'd also never been able to find something truly bad. The negatives and the positives were sort of all mixed together into a wolfish grin and lively eyes. For someone who preferred the lighter side of the world, Butters liked it, because it meant that he didn't have to be upset over anything Kenny did since nothing he did was ever entirely bad

Another thing that Butters had noticed was that while other people had a tendency of doing things without reason, which lead to some some truly heinous mistakes, that was never the case with Kenny. Though Butters probably would never fully comprehended the boy's schemes and plans, he knew that they were so tightly woven into the way the boy acted and existed that nothing Kenny did was without meaning. Everything he did had a purpose, every word carried weight. Even when Butters sat alone in his room with Kenny and they just talked loosely, he found that Kenny didn't chatter, he connected, whatever that was ultimately supposed to mean.

The Paladin wasn't too sure himself, but he was alright with that.

Right now, for example, was one of those times Butters didn't fully understand what Kenny was doing. From what he could tell, Cartman and Kenny were disagreeing about Clyde's banishment. Butters didn't know why the conversation was happening at all, because Kenny had supported the matter in the first place, if only with his silence, but he assumed that Kenny had a good reason for it. Because he always did, and Butters had never been given a reason to doubt him

"Did you have to banish him?" Kenny was asking again, his words nothing short of musical even though he was complaining. "I mean, really."

"Yes, I did have to banish him Princess Kenny," Cartman informed the boy impatiently, his frustration from before still covering his face. It was obvious that he still hadn't gotten over the fact that the Stick had been stolen, though the naive blond supposed he didn't blame him. It wasn't exactly something you just shook off. Despite his own rational of the tension, Butters kept looking between the two of them worriedly, disliking the argument that was brewing between them. Sometimes, Kenny's habit of muddying everything with all those details and shades of gray was stressful, but he supposed the boy meant well, so he didn't try and stop him.

Butters couldn't imagine that Kenny would actually be able to do something with pure malicious intent. After all, the boy was unflaggingly kind when it came to Butters, even with the small things. Sure some people might have said that Kenny was devious, but really, the boy was just trying to make sure that everyone got the happy ending they deserved. He might have gone about it in weird ways more often than not, but it worked out in the end, so Kenny definitely knew what he was doing. Butters wouldn't have even pretended to know how to move people like Kenny did, so he was willing to trust him.

Huffing out a breath in a very lady-like way, the action making the piece of purple gauze over his mouth flutter, Kenny planted a hand on his hip and insisted, "I mean don't you think that's a bit much, oh Grand Wizard? It's so very unfair." He's right, isn't he. It was really unfair to do something like that to Clyde. Even though Butters had supported Clyde getting kicked out, he wasn't sure if he liked it. After all, it seemed a little mean for them to throw the brunett out for something so small.

"No, it's totally fair, Clyde is a loser, and he lost the Stick, so he deserves to be banished." Crossing his arms, Cartman lifted his chin defiantly, which made Kenny sigh in exasperation and turn to Butters, who was already staring at him.

Lifting up his eyebrows, clearly looking for support from the naive blond, Kenny glanced back at Cartman for a moment with a frown. "Well Grand Wizard, I think it was a little heavy handed." Fluffing out his dress, Kenny fixed those sparkling sky blue eyes on Butters once more. "Wouldn't you say, Butters the Merciful? Don't you think it was mean to do that to Clyde?" Remembering the brunet's shocked and hurt face once again, Butters felt guilt creeping up on his insides.

But he couldn't just say that because Cartman was staring at him intently, a scowl on his face. Nervous, Butters quickly piped up, "Uh I- I dunno, M'lady~ I mean, he did sorta lose th'Stick an' all!" Fiddling with his hammer as he spoke, hoping that Kenny wasn't disappointed with his answer, Butters added, "B-but I think we coulda been a bit nicer to 'im."

Goaning, Cartman dragged a hand over his face and said, "Whatever, we have a bigger problem right now to worry about." Hiding what Butters assumed was a grin behind a dainty hand, Kenny floated over to him and leaned on him, resting his forearms on the boy's shoulder so he could use him as a convenient prop. Though he really should have been used to this by now, Butters still let out a squeak and turned red.

Kenny somehow made all physical contact actually meaningful. Like how his words were never extraneous, neither were his actions without purpose. Of course Butters could have been totally wrong, but if he wasn't then Kenny's habit of touching him meant something. Except that left him with the fact that he had no idea what Kenny's tendency to find excuses for physical contact with him could mean. But maybe it just was one of those things that made Kenny feel better, like how Butters rubbed his knuckles together when he felt self-conscious. If that was the case, then Butters wasn't about to tell Kenny to stop, because that wouldn't be what a good friend would do.

"And what, pray tell, is that bigger problem?" Kenny prompted, the hair of his wig tickling the side of Butter's face. When Butters absently swatted at it to keep it from getting in his mouth, the Princess giggled. Shifting so he was instead leaning on the shorter boy's head, Kenny said, "Because as I see it, the fact you just kicked out one of our best players is a pretty big issue, wouldn't you say?"

"Princess, the Stick of Truth has been stolen," Cartman pointed out, looking around at the rest of the boys who were all listening intently to his words. Noticing that he was gathering an audience, Cartman stepped out into the middle of his yard, smacking his staff on the ground to help him command authority. Puffing out his chest, the Wizard continued, "We must assemble our entire army to get it back!"

At Cartman's words, Butters quickly looked around and counted the people they had. Though he knew the Humans were capable of anything if they worked together, they really didn't have that many people. It would be hard to get the Stick back with only the kids they had here, plus, Butters was only just now realizing the fact that several familiar faces were missing from their ranks. Quickly piping up, the Paladin exclaimed, "B-but our three best warriors still haven't reported for duty, my King!"

Looking about, clearly exasperated when he found that Butters was indeed correct, Cartman said, "Well then, that looks like something that you can take care of Butters." Pulling out his phone, the boy continued, "I want you to go out into the lands of Zaron and find our three greatest Warriors, Token Tweek and Feldspar, and tell them that it's urgent. Because clearly, keeping Kyle from getting his dirty Jew hands all over my Stick is very important."

From above Butters, Kenny snickered and said softly, at a volume that only the shorter blond could hear, "Nah, he wouldn't be putting his hands anywhere near your stick, we all know he'd much rather put them on Stan's wood." Wait, did Kenny just- Letting out a sound of surprise, Butters turned bright red and squirmed under Kenny, which only made the boy giggle girlishly.

"P-princess~" Butters protested, covering his face as he tried to forget Kenny's dirty joke. The boy had a terrible habit of making them, and unfortunately, he also liked to explain them to Butters in great detail when he didn't get them.

Entirely ignoring both of them, Cartman turned to the rest of the boys and said, "Beware, the Elves will no doubt be extremely irritating, now that they think they're hot shit for getting the Stick. If we're not careful, this crisis could get worse. Keep that in mind, we can't let the High Jew Elf beat us."

"Can I go with Paladin Butters?" Kenny trilled, finally moving off of Butters so he could float over towards Cartman. Clasping his hands under his chin, the Princess said, "It would be safer after all, there are sixth graders out there." Well, at least it would be more fun with Kenny around. I like when he's around!

"Very well," Cartman agreed, waving his hand to shoo them away. Butters couldn't help but grin happily at that, glad that he'd be allowed to have someone accompany him. "You know what's required of you. Begone! Make haste. I have many things to do." Smiling happily, Kenny swept back towards Butters, catching the boy's arm with his as he went.

"Come along Butterfree, we have many things to do~" Kenny said happily, pulling them both out of the gate and towards the sidewalk before Butters could protest. Not that he would have. Despite Kenny's habit of embarrassing him, Butters liked having him around too much to ever say otherwise. Besides, the smile that Kenny got on his face when they were together would have made pretty much anything worth it.

Kenny had a nice smile after all. Not those evil grins, which even Butters could admit looked a little sinister, but a real, happy smile. It wasn't often that they boy showed it, which made Butters a little sad because he could imagine why Kenny might not have many reasons to smile, but when he did, it made Butters feel light and happy inside. He always got dimples in his freckled cheeks, and the shadows in his eyes lifted, revealing their true luminescent blue. Every time he saw it, Butters felt like the sun had truly come out from behind the clouds, and he was pretty sure that if Kenny was able to make that face, then he was just as happy.

Letting Kenny pull him along, the boy's dress swirling around his ankles and almost getting tangled in the Paladin's feet, Butters listened as the Princess said, "You know Butterscotch, I think that someday Cartman is actually going to come up with a game that doesn't involve injuring other people. I know, it's a novel idea, but I think he might actually make it someday." Huh, what's that supposed to mean? Blinking at Kenny's words, Butters turned to look at boy, only to earn a playful laugh in return. "He just really doesn't do a good job of it, no?"

"Well I think this is a great game!" Butters exclaimed, smiling brightly. "At least Eric's tryin' t'make it fun an' all!"

Tutting softly, Kenny lifted his free hand and touched a bruise that was forming on Butter's head where an Elf had managed to hit him. "Well he might be trying but I don't like when his trying ends in things like this, Buttercream. I don't like it when it leads to real bumps and bruises. It worries me." I make Kenny worry? Feeling guilty for doing something like that, Butters quickly shook his head, distracting the boy from the bruise on his forehead.

"No, I think it's jus' how it all works out, y'know?" As he thought back on all of the awesome things he'd been able to do with all of the other kids, Butters continued, "I mean, I don't necessarily like hurtin' people or nothin', or gettin' hurt either, b-but it's so much fun gettin' to spend time with you an' Eric!" It's too bad that Stan and Kyle are on the other team. I don't really like fighting with them. But I guess it's not a real fight because it's just a game! "So in th'end, it's all worth it, right?"

Holding one of his hands to his mouth, his eyes shining, Kenny suddenly burbled, "Oh Butterfly, you're so wonderful and pure, what did this world ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as you~" Blushing as he always did when Kenny showered compliments on him, Butters rubbed his knuckles together and mumbled something about how it was nothing really. Humming, hardly seeming to care that he'd flustered Butters, the Princess continued, "But you have a point, I suppose it has been a good game. Though I don't expect it to go on forever."

"Well, how will we know it's over?" Butters asked, his eyes traveling over the flowers that were only just starting to pop up in people's yards, a testament he realized to how long the game had stretched for. Of course, the flowers would probably die soon once the next snowfall game, but it still made Butters happy. With the sun out and the grass green, the world looked so beautiful that the blond couldn't help but smile. Seeing a particularly big and lively daffodil on the side of the path, Butters let go of Kenny's arm for a moment so he could crouch down and carefully trace the petals. "I mean, couldn't th'game go on forever?"

"No, I'm sure that someone will win. That or we'll most definitely know who the winner is. Though honestly, I think the Humans are pretty much fucked at this point..." As Kenny passed him, Butters quickly apologized to the flower as he picked it before carrying it over to the Princess.

Kneeling before the Princess and bowing his head, Butters held out the flower and said, "For you M'lady~ It's a good luck charm, I think! We're definitely going to win this game, an' then maybe we can come up with somethin' different, that ain't so dangerous an' stuff!" Staring at Butters, the smile on his face fading into something soft, Kenny pushed himself into movement and took the flower, carefully tucking it behind his ear, where it stayed, the stem blending into his wig.

Grabbing for Butter's hand and pulling him to his feet, Kenny dropped his Princess voice for a moment as he sincerely said, "Butters, I promise you that if we play another game like this, it will be better. And I promise that I won't let this game we're playing now hurt you. Ever." As if he'd never said anything at all, Kenny slipped back into his character once more as he giggled and tugged Butters along once more, calling as he did so, "Now hurry! We have to get Token so that he can help our wonderful Wizard plan our next moves~"

Hurrying to keep up with Kenny, Butters stared wide-eyed at the boy's back as he tried to work out what that was supposed to mean. It wasn't as if the game had horribly hurt him before, he couldn't think of anything that would come up that would end in him getting injured. But at the same time, he was happy that Kenny agreed with him in finding a new game that didn't involve so much meanness.

After all, Butters didn't like being mean. He could still recall the days after Cartman and his friends had first tried to get rid of him and what had happened as a result and he didn't want to go back to that. Not if he could help it,

Though if it did happen, at least Kenny would be around this time. So maybe things wouldn't go badly at all.

Thinking of the people they were going to find, a sudden thought struck Butters and he wondered aloud, "I wonder why Feldspar hasn't been playin' much recently." He'd noticed the lack of tall, silent Noirette, and it had made him curious. Ever since the game had started, Craig had played faithfully, hardly ever missing anything, but all of a sudden, he'd gone quiet. And now Tweek wasn't there either, which made Butters a little worried. He would hate it if something happened to either of them. They were such good people after all, even if Tweek was a little off putting and Craig could be scary.

"Perhaps he's having trouble with his girlfriend," Kenny suggested easily, waving his gloved hand dismissively, as if the matter wasn't important. "After all, girls can be so finicky, and trust me, I would know. Maybe Tucker's just upset Bebe or something."

Frowning at that, Butters thought about the whole arranged marriage and felt a little bubble of disquiet rise in his gut. Though he'd never expressed it verbally, he'd never been quite clear on why it had been Craig of all people who'd had to marry a girl. There were plenty of other guys in the Human faction who'd have been able to do much better at the job of maintaining a marriage of peace, Craig just seemed sort of random. Of course, maybe Butters was imagining things, but he didn't think he was.

Which is why he told Kenny, "I don't think Craig much likes his girlfriend." Feeling self-conscious when Kenny turned a keen eye on him, Butters quickly continued, "I mean, jus' look at them! Craig doesn't seem all too happy about it, an' Bebe's doing that thing girls do when they're pretendin' to be happy but they aren't. I don't think they're a good couple at all!" Rubbing his knuckles together, he quickly added, "But that's just my opinion an' all…"

Curiously, an odd note in his voice, Kenny asked, "What do you think would make Craig happy, Butterfree?" Looking up at Kenny with wide eyes, a little surprised that he'd believed him at all, Butters quickly tried to order his nebulous thoughts in an attempt to put together a coherent list of things that would make the Noirette happier. He didn't really know Craig, but he still could guess. After all, he'd been talking to the boy for a while now. And really, he was sort of obvious when it came to how he acted.

"I think Bebe an'im should break up," Butters answered stoutly, lifting his chin in an attempt to sound confident in his own words. "B-but I don't think that's the only thin' that would make 'im feel better, y'know!" Growing more certainty as he continued, the blond boy said, "I really really think that he and Tweek are in love, an' if they got together then they'd be happiest!"

"They are rather close, aren't they," Kenny agreed vaguely, as if he were trying to see it himself.

Quick to defend his idea, Buters said, "Yeah! They're really close an' stuff. They're always holdin' hands and now that Craig's gone, Tweek's gone too! If they didn't like each other, that wouldn't make sense." Smiling as he remembered all of the little things he'd gotten to see over the time of playing the fantasy game with the two boys, Butters said, "Haven't you seen'em? I think they're really cute, even though they'd probably get a lot of heck for doin' somethin' like that. But you can tell they really like each other, and that's why Craig's upset, because he's datin' someone he's not even interested in!"

Putting his head down, as though hiding his smile, Kenny said, "You know what Butters, I think you might be right. Though you're suggesting that Craig break up with Bebe. What if they really do like each other? Craig might just be sadder if he broke up with her."

Puffing out his cheeks, Butters made a discontented sound and said, "I jus' want everyone t'be happy! An' I really think that Tweek would make Craig happier." Sticking out his bottom lip firmly, Butters said, "Shouldn't you follow your heart if it's tellin' you something like that? I really think you should."

"But how does someone know when their heart is talking to them?" Kenny asked, gesturing with all of his usual grandeur. "Is it all up here?" He tapped his own head several times. "Or is it in there." Feeling his chest warm up where Kenny tapped it, Butters shrugged, unable to completely answer Kenny's question considering he'd never been in love.

"Ah- well, I'd assume they'd be followin' somethin', and if not their heart, then what?" Butters finally mumbled, looking at the melting snow as they crossed the street that would put them on Token's block. "After all, they keep gettin' closer as far as I can tell. Up until recently that is. I really hope they're okay."

"Don't worry Butterball, we'll find them and then once they're all together, they can talk." Smiling at Kenny's plan, Butters didn't even bat an eye as the boy latched onto his arm once more, his satin and lace trailing over the shorter boy's exposed skin. "Then if they're fighting they can make up and be friends again."

Liking the sound of that, Butters grinned from ear to ear and exclaimed, "I hope they feel better after that!" As his idea of Tweek and Craig's reunion played out in his head, the way Craig's eyes would soften and the way Tweek would hug the Noirette like if he let go, the boy would vanish, Butters felt a mixture of joy and acute sadness. Naturally, it would be wonderful for them to be talking again, if they were indeed fighting as he suspected, but it was more than that. There was something hopeful about seeing the two of them take on life together, and beat it back while still finding the time to be happy. Butters wanted to be like that, even though he knew he'd never be able to make it.

Though Butters didn't want to complain, because really, his life wasn't all that bad, he did wish he could find something like what Tweek and Craig had found in each other. A friend close enough that he could tell them anything without feeling like he was being a bother, and someone he could face any challenge with and not fear a thing. He was happy that Tweek had a friend in Craig, and Craig in Tweek, and he wasn't going to let his own problems diminish his happiness for them, but he doubted that he'd ever have something like that with someone else. There was just too much there under the proverbial rug for something like that to happen.

So, he supposed that he'd just take what he could get and not think about it too hard.

"Hey, Butterfly, has your heart ever told you anything?"

At the sound of Kenny's voice, Butters startled out of his thoughts. Looking up at the boy in surprise, Butters found his heart fluttering before he quickly pushed the feeling away and made a smile brighten his face. "Oh, my heart tells me stuff all the time, y'know?" He tried to make it sound as inconsequential as possible. "I mean, I'm not always the smartest or anthin', b-but my heart usually knows what it's talkin' about, so I listen it!" Rubbing the back of his head, Butters tried for a laugh and added, "It doesn't always lead me right or nothin', but I think I does a fine job~"

Of course, those times that it decided to act up were the ones that left him hurting the most, but he'd gotten pretty good at ignoring them. After all, he wasn't that stupid, no matter what he might've said to the contrary. He knew how life worked, no matter how sad it could make him, and he knew that he chose to be happy regardless. So, in the end, it didn't really matter, right?

"You know, I always thought that all my heart could tell me was when I was falling in love," Kenny commented absently, his eyes clouding slightly, almost sad in their softness. "But sometimes I wonder if my heart is able to tell me anything at all." Shaking the words away, as if only just now realizing how melancholy they were, Kenny laughed and asked, "What do you think, Butterscotch? Do you think your heart will tell you when you fall in love?"

For a second, Butters almost didn't answer. He wasn't sure if he wanted to, or if he trusted his own mouth to open it, but Kenny was smiling at him, and he didn't want that sadness to return to those bright blue eyes, not if he could help it. So instead of staying silent, he nodded firmly, and brightly answered, "Especially then! That's what your heart is for, right?"

Kenny just stared at him, his gaze so far away, and yet so there, it was almost terrifying. Suddenly, Butters was seized by the desire to hug Kenny. Stopping abruptly, Butters surprised the taller, glittering boy as he wrapped his arms around Kenny's torso, inadvertently getting himself tangled in the boy's dress. Fiercely, even though he didn't know what was going through Kenny's mind, Butters said, "Don't worry, your heart isn't stupid or nothin', so when y'find th' perfect person, it'll tell you quick!"

He wished the words didn't have to hurt to say.

Voice sounding oddly thick, Kenny said, "I think you're right Butters, about the heart knowing. I really think you're right." Finally hugging him back, the boy added, "I just hope I can hear my heart when it happens, because if you're right, then it would probably hurt more if I ignored it."

Though he didn't say it aloud, Butters privately disagreed, because sometimes hearing what your heart was saying and not being able to do a thing about it hurt worst of all.