"Decide now" Jade demanded.

"Why are you asking me this?" Beck asked confused.

"Because you don't seem to be ready for this and I don't want to force you to deal with my problems" She informed and the gang looked at each other, she was taking everything very rationally and they didn't know if that was good or bad. "Just seeing you, I feel I have to be strong for you when it should be the other way around, you can't even look at me"

"I'm sorry" Beck said sincerely because he knew she was right. "You're right, I'm out of my mind right now but of course I want to be with you, what happened doesn't change my feelings and I love you, I promise I will be what you need"

"Just be you, the old you…I don't want you to change, I don't want you to treat me differently" Jade responded. "I want things to feel normal, that's all I need"

"This is not a normal situation, Jade, you'll need a lot of therapy and help…It's okay to cry and scream and be angry, you have the right to express your feelings" Tori commented. "We are here for you"

"I will be fine, if those animals didn't kill me last night nothing ever will" Jade affirmed and took a breath as she stared into space. "I am alive for one reason, one reason only…" she said as she imagined all the pain she wanted to put them through.

"You will get through this" Beck affirmed and held her hand so she nodded.

"I know" Jade said. "Do we know who they are? Any hint?" She asked her father.

"No, they must be related to the gang I am after but we know nothing about them" Mr. West said. "You said it was six, right?"

"Yes, six…I will never forget them, I could describe every inch of their faces right now" Jade responded coldly and tried to move but her whole body hurt so she closed her eyes in pain. "Uh…ah…" she said and took a breath.

"You okay?" Andre asked.

"It hurts" She said.

"What hurts?" Cat asked.

"Everything" Jade responded and they looked at each other. "I will survive, don't worry"

"You are taking this surprisingly well" Tori commented. "I honestly don't know what I would do if I were in your place, I think I would be freaking out, you're so strong" she added sincerely.

"I have to be, it happened and I must keep going, it's that or killing myself and that won't happen until I see every single one of those animals paying for what they did to me" Jade said coldly and smiled at them. "It's my new beginning"

Time went by and Jade slowly recovered her physical wellbeing, after a month her pain was almost gone and the bruises were less visible. She also attended therapy and talked about her feelings, which helped but the rage and anger never left and she made sure to never fully unleash them in front of her therapist, she wanted to keep them because those two emotions were what kept her alive.

The fluids on Jade's body could only be matched to one of her rapists so she had only one name: Alan Lopez, the end of the tail, the beginning of her destiny.

A few months went by and the gang was trying to go back to normality, Jade had returned to school and they wanted to make her feel welcome but she had changed, it was something they couldn't turn a blind eye on because it was obvious but she refused to be questioned about it. Jade had become increasingly aggressive and even though she had never been a cheerful person, she was now angrier, colder and more intimidating than ever. It was as if the Jade they knew had died and been replaced by a different person, someone who embodied all of Jade's darkest traits but amplified and without a hint of joy, she was someone they were just getting to know.

"Hey babe" Beck said as he sat down next to Jade in the cafeteria and gave her a peck.

"Hi" She simply said, they remained quiet for a few seconds and Beck tried to break the silence.

"How was your dad's dinner last night?" He asked nicely.

"You don't really care about that, do you?" Jade asked back. "It was boring"

"Why do you act like this? I don't understand, Jade I thought you wanted things to be normal" Beck commented sincerely.

"I don't know what you're talking about" She said.

"Yes, you do…look at you, I feel you don't want me around, you don't want anyone around" Beck responded and she turned to him coldly.

"If you don't want to be with me, you're free to go! I don't need you" Jade said angrily.

"Jade, no…it's not about that, I just want things to be like before and if you feel sad, you can talk to me but you push me away instead, I don't know what else to do" He commented and tried to grab her hand but she pulled it back. "Look, I know what happened was hard and I know it affected you but you said you'd let it go and…"

"And what?" Jade asked cutting him off. "I am letting it go, this is my way of letting go"

"You mean by being angry all the time and pushing your friends away?" Beck asked. "How's therapy helping with that?"

"You cannot possibly imagine what I've been through, so you can't tell me what to feel" Jade said angrily with teary eyes. "I was through hell, I wished to be dead every second of that night and the worst part is that it's not over, I am never in peace, I have to relive it every single night when I close my eyes, it's like it's happening all over again, it chases me…it always will"

"Jade…" He said but she interrupted him.

"No! You listen, it's my turn to talk" Jade said coldly. "You can't begin to imagine the pain, humiliation and fear that I felt, you think getting through it is easy? No but I am succeeding, otherwise I would have killed myself long ago…I have had so many nights where all I wanted was to die but here I am, aren't I?" Jade commented. "I am alive because the hatred and anger and rage I feel keep me going, that's the only thing standing between me and a bullet"

"Don't say that please, you can't kill yourself" Beck said sadly and held her hands. "You will get through this and all that rage will disappear, I promise"

"I know, but not yet" Jade said and took a breath. "If you want to be with me go ahead and if you don't, then I understand, it's not your problem"

"Do you still love me?" Beck asked sincerely and a couple of tears streamed down her face.

"Do you? Truly?" Jade asked back sadly. "After everything I've been through…"

"Yes, I do" Beck said without hesitation. "But I don't want you to feel compromised, I don't want you to be with me if you don't feel comfortable, so tell me the truth, do you love still love me?" He asked sadly.

"Yes" She said and he smiled as he stroked her cheek to wipe the tear away. "I'm sorry, I just don't know how to handle everything…it's overwhelming, sometimes all I want is to die, I feel so lost and hopeless" she confessed as the tears streamed down her face. "You've been so good to me all this time but I'm afraid you'll end up getting tired of me, I don't want to push you away…but I feel that's what I'm doing and I'm so afraid of losing you" she admitted and he smiled sadly.

"I won't leave you alone now or ever, you could never lose me because I love you, I know I always will" He affirmed and more tears started streaming down her face so he hugged her. "It's okay, we'll get through this together"

Days went by and one morning Jade was in class just staring into space and remembering that night, she could feel it as if it were happening again but she wouldn't react, she was just watching the memory in her head like a movie. "Jade, come on stage…" Sikowitz said but she ignored him. "Jade? I'm talking to you" He said and the gang looked at her, she seemed okay but she was lost.

"Jade, are you okay?" Beck asked nicely but she didn't hear him.

"Jade!" Sikowitz said as he grabbed her shoulders and she immediately flinched away terrified.

"Hey, hey it's fine, it's okay" Beck said when he saw her scared face so she took a breath and rolled her eyes in frustration, she hated to have flashbacks.

"What do you want?" Jade asked Sikowitz annoyed.

"Come on stage, I just need you to do a little exercise with Andre" He said and they got on stage. "Okay, now you just need to stare into each other's eyes…do that until you feel a connection, you must be able to tell me what the other was trying to express with their eyes only"

"This is stupid" Jade said.

"Do it young lady" He responded and they looked at each other. They had to be very close so it made Jade a little uncomfortable, she was hoping the exercise wouldn't last long because she didn't feel stable in that moment.

"How long is this gonna take?" Beck asked curiously.

"As long as it needs to, quiet" Sikowitz said and Jade sighed annoyed as she looked into Andre's eyes. Minutes passed and after a while she started feeling different, Andre's eyes slowly turned into Scar's, he was the one she'd looked at for more time so it felt real, his eyes showed the same spark of ruthlessness and satisfaction from that night, she could almost hear him through Andre's pupils.

All the sudden Jade felt her surrounding vanishing to reveal the darkness of that night, only the moon and the flashlight allowed her to see Scar's face, she felt so angry and desperate that without any warning she put her hands around Andre's neck and tried to crush it, everyone was caught off guard so they froze for a second as she smashed him against the floor and got on top of him. "Jade!" Sikowitz exclaimed surprised and Beck stood up.

"Jade, that's enough" Sikowitz said as he tried to pull her back.

"Jade, it's me" Andre said trying to breathe and get her off but she was strong, she continued pressing his neck harder until he and Sikowitz managed to overpower her and Andre got on top of her, he was holding her wrists to the floor and she was freaking out.

"GET OFF ME! NO PLEASE NO" Jade screamed in panic as she cried her eyes out. All she could feel were those men laughing and breathing on her face, touching her and keeping her arms and legs under control while they abused her; she hated to feel so helpless and restrained.

"Jade, it's me Andre" Andre said trying to keep her from moving but she wouldn't calm down, she was desperately trying to get him off.

"Stop, stop it" Beck said as he pushed Andre off her. "You can't do that" he said angrily as he moved him away from Jade but she kept crying and embracing herself.

"I'm sorry, I was trying to get her under control" Andre explained sincerely and Beck sighed as he looked at her completely heartbroken, he tried to grab her arms to help her stand up but as soon as he touched her she freaked out again.

"GET OFF ME!" Jade screamed and the gang looked at each other worriedly.

"Sh, sh…it's okay, you're with me" Beck said sweetly as he stroked her face gently. "Open your eyes, it's okay, you're safe…just listen to my voice, it's Beck, you're with me, you're safe" He affirmed and she slowly opened her eyes so she saw him and he smiled. "See? It's all gone, it's just us" He said and she took a breath as she slowly let go of her self-embrace.

"Beck…" Jade whispered and he nodded as he hugged her so she hugged him back and he helped her stand up.

"What did just happen here?" Sikowitz asked confused.

"Nothing" Jade responded.

"You tried to kill Andre" He commented.

"I'm sorry" She said coldly.

"Jade, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you" Andre said sincerely and she sighed.

"I think we need to get you home" Beck said to her and she nodded. They went to his car and Beck put his hand on her shoulder so she looked down and started crying.

"What did you see? Why did you attack him?" He asked.

"I don't know, I just…I don't remember, it's like a dream" Jade said. "I was in class and then I saw him, his eyes…on top of me, I could hear him, I could smell him and I just wanted to kill him and then he was holding me again, he had power over me again…they all did, it was horrible" she explained.

"It's okay, don't worry" Beck said nicely.

"Don't worry? I almost killed Andre" Jade commented and shook her head. "I'm going crazy, when is this gonna end?"

"Don't pressure yourself, it's a process" He affirmed. "I'm sure he understands"

"I don't" Jade admitted. "I won't have peace until I know they are all dead, I want to kill them with my own hands"

"Don't even joke about that, Jade" Beck said and she looked down.

"That's why I feel, they deserve to pay" She responded.

"But not by your hand, you're not like them" He affirmed and she thought about it.

"You're right, I'm rambling…They will go to prison" Jade said and he nodded.

"Yes, that's the right thing and they will regret everything they did to you I promise" He responded and Jade sighed, it was clear she couldn't share her true feelings with Beck, she didn't want to lose him but she couldn't just let those men walk away freely, she had to make sure they paid for all her suffering and she would, with or without Beck.


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