Jade spent every day locked up in the room, she always tried to find a way to open the door but it was useless and whenever it actually opened, she knew her worst nightmare was back. Scar fed her sometimes but he liked to starve her for several hours and sometimes even days, he liked to see her weakening and then fighting her when she had energy again, he liked overpowering her, he liked hurting her and he liked playing with her. Scar saw Jade as a toy, his relationship with her was that of a cat and mouse and he loved reminding her who was the cat.

He usually kept her for himself but sometimes he got her out of the room and let two of his workers chase her around the field, Jade always ran even though she knew they would catch her and when they raped her she tried to imagine she wasn't there, that was the only thing she could do. After all the pain she'd been through from the first time she was attacked, Jade didn't really feel anything other than disgust and the shock slowly vanished to be replaced by a feeling of routine: Scar would come four or five times a week and two or three times a month he would release her on the field so two of his employees would have fun as well, sometimes he even joined them to have a 'little party' as he called it, it all became so normal to her that when it didn't happen she found it strange.

"It's been almost two months" Tori said sadly and the gang sighed sadly, they were in her house to play cards but they couldn't focus, Jade's empty chair didn't let them.

"This is our fault, my fault" Beck affirmed. "How could I believe what that man said? We had no proofs, we let them take her and didn't even tell her parents, it was so obvious it was a setup"

"It wasn't obvious, Beck, we had reasons to believe it" Andre said to comfort him. "He knew what he was doing, we just fell for it…like we were supposed to"

"Supposed to? I was supposed to believe and protect my girlfriend but I didn't and now…" Beck said as a tear streamed down his face. "Her parents told me the police think she is dead, they say they'll keep searching but that they don't see a lot of hope so they will just wait for news, they will not look for her, that's just what they said to make us feel better"

"My dad told me that too, he said they can't keep wasting resources on a case that hasn't been solved in two months, he says there are priorities…" Tori added sadly. "I think we should make ourselves to the idea that she's gone…forever"

"I have, Tori, I know she's gone…that bastard probably killed her in revenge for what she did to his friends" Beck said mortified and wiped some tears away. "I just hope he was quick…" He added and looked down.

"Let's not think about that, we need to move on" Andre said. "We can't change what they did so let's keep going with our lives and pretend this never happened"

"How can I do that? Should I just forget the years of my life I spent with her? Should I delete all her pictures? What should I do? How do I do it?" Beck asked upset.

"I'm just saying that if you keep imagining what they might've done to her, you'll end up going crazy and that won't turn back time" He responded. "She existed but now it's time for us to accept she's gone and move on"

More days, weeks and months went by and Jade had to face a reality that she wasn't prepared to handle, she'd been feeling weird for a while but she didn't understand why, not until she noticed her period hadn't come in over three months and her belly was starting to grow. She was pregnant.

"No, no, no…this can't be happening" Jade said as she looked at her still tight belly but it didn't make sense for it to grow if she was barely eating. "Oh my god" She said in shock and covered her mouth as she cried her eyes out, she couldn't imagine having to carry the child of her rapist inside her, the worst part was that she wasn't even sure who the father was, she imagined it was Scar but his two employees had also been with her in that time.

Next day the door opened and Scar went down as he usually did, at that point she didn't even fear the sound of the door opening, she was used to it. "Hey Lily, I brought you some coffee and a donut because you deserve it, my friends had a hell of a party last weekend" He said, he'd also slowly put more things in the room: first a mattress, then a pillow, then a blanket, some clothes and even magazines and books for her to read.

"I…I need to tell you something" Jade said.

"What?" He asked and she looked down, she knew she couldn't hold eye contact with him for too long if she didn't want to be slapped.

"I think I'm pregnant" She informed and his eyes wide opened.

"Really? That's some news" He said and chuckled. "And whose bastard is it? You have three options" he added and she exhaled to control her rage.

"I don't know and I don't care, get this thing out of me, I don't want it" Jade said and he laughed.

"You don't want it?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No, get it out of me" Jade said, the repulsion she felt for it was almost palpable in her voice.

"No, we'll see who's the father when the thing is born but you'll have it, Lily, it's the proof of our love" Scar said cynically and she stared at him full of anger, only to be slapped a few seconds later. "You know you can't look at me like that, we are not the same, you stupid whore"

"I'm sorry" Jade said trying to hide her true feelings and he nodded.

"Good" Scar responded and smiled. "Well, that's news to celebrate, a child in this house!" He said and started stroking her hips so she knew where he was going. "Come on, you know what to do…" He said and she started undressing herself for him as he bit his lip; another night, another rape, another day in hell.

Jade had to see her belly grow as months went by and Scar still forced her to sleep with him but he wanted the baby to be born, so he didn't let his boys rape her again and he tried not to hit her belly but he still slapped her and pulled her hair when he was mad. Jade could feel her baby growing inside her, she could feel it moving and kicking but she didn't feel anything for it, in fact she felt she despised it, she liked to imagine it would die in the womb because she couldn't imagine raising a child with the face of the monsters who had abused her.

The time finally came and Scar took her to the house so she would give birth there, he brought a doctor and Jade had a healthy baby girl. She went through so much pain but nothing compared to what she had already suffered, she saw her baby being taken out of her and she felt relieved, part of her was happy and the other just wanted the baby to disappear.

"It's a girl, here…look at her" The doctor said as he put the baby on Jade's chest and a couple of tears streamed down her face because she didn't know what she felt, hearing her daughter cry and feeling her little body on hers moved her even if she didn't admit it but at the same time, she couldn't stand the thought of loving the child of her rapist. That baby was the result of all her pain and suffering.

The doctor cleaned the baby and helped Jade recover from the birth, a few hours later he brought the baby back and handed it to her so she had to carry it but she didn't want to hold her. "We have a baby, darling, I'll put a cradle in your room" Scar said, he didn't care about the baby but he found the idea of having a child with Jade amusing, that girl was the product of his abuse and it was another way of reminding her who was in control.

"Take her, I don't want to see her…give her up for adoption or abandon her outside a church, I don't care" Jade said and looked at the baby, who was still in her arms.

"Oh no, you're going to take care of her" Scar said smiling maliciously. "It's your job and you need some company down there"

"Please take her away" She begged.

"I said no and get ready because we are going back, you are not staying in my house" Scar said and she looked down full of impotence and frustration.

Scar took Jade back to her room and brought in a cradle for the baby, he also bought clothes, diapers and blankets for her and ordered Jade to take care of her. Jade had no idea what to do with a child, she'd never imagined she would be a mother at that age and she didn't even want it so it was hard for her to take care of her willingly.

"I hate you" Jade said as she stared at the baby in the cradle. "You should have died, you know? Life would be better if you were dead...and if I were dead too" she added and stroked her little cheek, the baby was sleeping and Jade just wanted her to stay like that forever, she saw her and could only think about Scar so she despised her.

Four months went by and Jade's feelings for the baby hadn't changed at all, she couldn't even look at her without remembering all the times she'd been raped so she couldn't make a connection. One day she was just sat on the bed hearing the baby cry, she had fed her and changed her so she didn't understand why she was crying and she didn't want to hold her. That was a day like many others where she'd ignored the baby but this time she had a headache and the crying was driving her crazy.

"Shut up" Jade said almost whispering as she stared at the cradle but the baby's crying continued. "Shut up, SHUT UP!" She screamed as she stood up and walked towards her. "Please just stop crying, STOP!" She said as the tears streamed down her cheeks and she felt the need to squeeze her little neck.

Jade stared at her as she cried for about three minutes and she grabbed the pillow the baby had on the cradle. "Shut up" She ordered but the baby continued so Jade slowly put the pillow on her little face and pressed it for a few seconds but then she stepped back and threw it away. "Oh god, no, no" she said and covered her mouth as she shook her head. "I'm a monster!" Jade exclaimed and looked at the crying baby in the cradle.

Jade had been about to kill the baby just like she'd imagined many times but when she was actually doing it she couldn't, even if she refused to admit it she couldn't end her baby's life because it was hers and she was innocent. Jade grabbed the baby in her arms and started swinging her a little to calm her down, which she did a few seconds later so Jade smiled a little.

"It's okay, it's okay…" Jade said to the baby and started crying her eyes out, she didn't understand her feelings towards it. Sometimes she felt she hated her and only wanted to see her dead and other times, like in those moments, she felt the need to protect her. It was confusing.

"God, why are you doing this to me?" Jade asked as she looked at the baby and stroked her little face. She looked a lot like her, she had light brown hair, blue eyes and pale skin but Jade didn't know how to handle that situation, her feelings changed by the minute and it drove her crazy; she just knew she had a child, one she hadn't even bothered to name because when her anger took over, that baby was only a mistake in her life, a punishment sent by the devil but when her other emotions emerged, that baby was her child, hers only and she couldn't help to love her. She didn't know exactly what she felt.


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