Chapter 16
She wanted to do it. She really wanted to tell him.
But she couldn't do it.
One glimpse into Killian's eyes had told her that she couldn't reveal herself. Not yet! Emma knew she couldn't breach his trust like that.
He was just like her! They were both slightly damaged with high and impenetrable walls of steel. Emma could see that Killian was damaged goods, using his playboy status as a guise to distance people from the real him.
The magazines projected a rich and handsome, carefree sex-a-holic. Killian was anything but carefree; he had weights holding him in the past that he needed to cut free. Emma had to laugh at the irony, wasn't she weighted down by the same thing? She saw herself mirrored in his eyes and it scared her.
Emma wanted to tell Killian that she was a Government Agent and that she could look after herself. Looking into his vulnerable eyes as he had divulged his history and let her in through his walls had been eye opening for her. She knew from experience that letting people see the 'real' person behind the facade was difficult and that he had to have trusted her implicitly to do so.
How could she break his trust? Revealing her true intentions at his company and in his life would shatter any trust between them. It would also jeopardise the investigation.
'It's not the investigation you are worried about.' Her subconscious screamed at her. Emma pushed the thought aside; she wasn't ready to walk down that path just yet.
"Swan? Swan? What do I need to be aware of?" Killian's voice broke through her disjointed voice and she raised her head to take a quick peek at his face. His emotions were exposed and on display across his features, worry the most evident.
She disguised her unease with her continued deception with a small smile and a quick cover story.
"I know self-defense! I took a class once, it was a good class...taught me lots of things," Emma babbled before trailing off as she noticed Killian's suddenly amused face. The worry was momentarily erased and a teasing sparkle lit his eyes.
Emma swallowed the unexpected lump in her throat and hoped her smile reached her eyes. Killian was becoming adept at reading her like a book and she didn't want to seem insincere.
"I would wager that you gave the men in that class quite a wallop." Killian laughed as Emma nodded. She did beat all of her fellow Agents quite regularly at their training sessions.
Emma watched as the cheer drained from Killian's face to be replaced by unease. Killian reached out to ensnare her hand, his thumb brushing slightly along her skin and sending flames blazing to the pit of her stomach. Emma allowed herself a moment and tangled her fingers with his before abruptly pulling her hand out of his grasp.
"I'm not sure what to do with you?" Killian murmured before turning away from her and moving to gaze out of his window.
"I think it may be best if you transfer to another position...so there is no contact between us."
Emma could see where Killian's train of thought was going. If he separated himself from her then Gold may move his focus elsewhere.
It could work but Gold wasn't an idiot. Emma knew Killian was starting to freeze her out again...create a distance between them.
"I can look after myself!" Emma insisted, "I have been doing it long enough."
Killian didn't turn around at her exclamation and continued to gaze in silence. His silence was eating away at her; she knew he was blaming himself for letting her in, for putting her in danger.
Emma walked up and stood awkwardly behind him, her hands itching to touch him. She resisted the urge and tried to reach him with words instead.
"Why not go after Miranda?" Emma pondered out loud. Voicing her thoughts always allowed her to gain more perspective on a situation. The fact that Gold had left Miranda alone had to be significant.
"She's the one you are seen with, the one you are intimate with." Emma whispered the last part, feeling an urge of unwanted jealousy rage through her. Things were getting too twisted and she needed to step back and assess the damage. She didn't get a chance as Killian swirled around suddenly to face her. Emma stumbled back slightly and he gripped her arms.
"She's not you." Killian whispered heatedly, his eyes boring into her intensely. Emma couldn't take the heat of the moment and shrugged his hands off her, taking several big steps backwards to create some distance. She looked back at Killian and for an instant swore she had seen disappointment on his face.
'How am I meant to do my job properly?' Emma thought distractedly.
"I didn't..." Killian began but was cut off as a small knock sounding at the office door.
"Enter." He directed firmly, his eyes glued to the door as Robin and Graham entered. They were carrying two steaming mugs and Emma was glad for the interruption. She gratefully received her glass and used it as a way to distance herself further from Killian.
Robin and Graham both glanced slyly at the two of them and Emma knew they could feel the tension in the office.
"Graham is now familiar with the situation." Robin reported, defusing the unease that had settled into the room.
"What I don't understand is why this Gold fellow has targeted Emma?" Graham questioned as he moved to stand closely by Emma's side. She gave him a strained smile and felt reassured by his presence.
"Perhaps it is not as you believe Killian," Robin directed his words towards his boss. Killian was facing the group, a frown marring his handsome face and his arms folded protectively against his chest.
"Miss Swan has been investigating on your request, has she not?" Robin continued and the scowl on Killian's face deepened. His hands dropped to his side before he lifted a finger to point at Emma.
"You will cease your investigation immediately! All paperwork will be delivered to me now!" Killian commanded sharply and Emma caught a glimpse of the hard, relentless man that ran a global company.
"I can help," Emma tried to appeal his decision. She had come so far in her investigation and wasn't ready to let it go. Emma knew Killian was trying to remove her as a pawn in Gold's plan but he was still trying to distance himself.
"No!" Emma could see the determined look on Killian's face and she knew pushing would be a really bad idea. She would need to approach him later when he was alone and she could properly give him a piece her mind.
He was trying to keep her safe the best way he knew how and she couldn't fault him for that but that didn't curb the anger and frustration brewing inside. Emma reigned in her emotions, staying silent and simply nodding her acquiescence.
She left the paperwork strewn around his office and stomped off, slamming the door before Graham could follow her. She may have temporarily agreed with Killian but she was not happy about it and it showed.
Emma stalked to her desk in a huff. She began plucking pieces of paper from all over her desk and dumping them into one pile. Emma would keep the information she had obtained from David hidden in her desk.
Sitting down at her desk she tapped in her details on the keyboard and logged herself into the system. Emma reached into her draw and withdrew a small USB stick, quickly plugging it into the side of the computer.
She quickly placed all of the relevant details onto the USB and then created a folder on the desktop. She copied all of the files into the folder and then deleted them from their respective places. Emma password protected the folder and then proceeded to hide it within her system. Killian was going to freeze her out but she wasn't going to give in so easily.
Graham had returned to her office quietly and was simply watching as she worked away furiously. Emma ignored him, letting her anger simmer away as she collected up the last files pertaining to her 'investigation' into the sabotage.
Emma was frustrated beyond belief. She had learnt to survive on her own, look after herself when no one else would. She could help! Emma felt the rejection from her past begin to eat her up inside.
'Why was she letting this affect her so much?'
Emma ignored the thought and roughly collected the paperwork and USB into her arms. She stormed back into Killian's office without even knocking. The man himself was now seated behind his desk and Robin was sitting in front, both were staring at Killian's computer screen.
The sudden opening of the office door had captured both of their attentions. Killian quickly clicked the screen to the desktop.
"I'm going to just..." Robin indicated towards the door. Emma placed her free hand on his shoulder.
"Don't leave on my account. I won't be here long!"
She took a step forward and dumped all of the paperwork violently onto his desk. Papers fluttered down and Emma took that moment to throw the USB at his chest.
"You wanted it all, well here it all is." She hissed at him angrily.
"I have many skills. I could have helped." Emma pressed, giving it one last try. The crazy way she had torpedoed through his office may not help her case.
Killian's eyes were a frosty blue and he banged his fist down on the desk with extreme force.
"No!"
"You are being unreasonable!" Emma responded fiercely.
"I am trying to keep you safe," Killian punctuated each word.
"I'm leaving early for the day!" Emma threw at him. Removing herself from the office for the rest of the day was the best idea for both of them.
Killian reclined back in his chair and gave her a brief nod.
Emma marched out of the lift and down the hall towards her old desk. What she needed was to blow off steam, to have someone to talk too.
She had never needed anyone in the past but things were getting too big too fast, maybe it was time to change one of her traditions.
"Pack your stuff and let's go," Emma told the dark haired woman working away at her desk.
Mary Margaret threw Emma a confused look but started shutting down her programs and packing up her belongings.
"Where are we going?" Mary Margaret questioned Emma as they strode down the hallways towards the lifts.
"Yes Miss Swan, where are you two disappearing?" Regina Mills questioned haughtily.
"Out." Emma told the woman succinctly, raising her arm to stop any retorts.
"Take it up with the head honcho."
Emma and Mary Margaret had polished off 2 bottles of wine during their late lunch. Emma had taken them to a hip Greek restaurant that according to Graham was one of the places to try at the moment.
Graham had driven them to the restaurant in silence and found a place at the bar as they were given a table. Emma had spilled as much as she could without burdening Mary Margaret.
Threats.
Accidents.
Body Guards.
Attraction.
Kissing.
She covered it all without being specific about Mr Gold. Mary Margaret had taken it all in stride and did not judge. It felt good being able to talk to someone, get it off her chest.
Emma felt the anger with Killian dissipate during their conversation. Mary Margaret was quite accomplished at giving advice with every word sounding so soothing. The talk had made Emma realise that she was already in deeper than any of them had planned.
She was enjoying herself immensely and had turned to wave down their waiter when she caught it in the corner of her eye. A muzzle flashed from the street followed by the cracking of gunfire. The smell of gun powder permeated the air and as the windows shattered into millions of pieces Emma reacted instantly. She grabbed Mary Margaret's arm and yanked her to the floor before flipping their table onto its side. She curled her body close to Mary Margaret's and listened as the bullet's pinged off the furniture.
Emma heard the loud crack of returning gun fire and thanked the heavens for Graham. She knew that he carried a side-arm as part of his duties but had never expected him to use it.
'If only I had my own gun,' Emma thought as she crouched over a flinching Mary Margaret. There were several shouts from outside before the gunfire ceased. Emma heard the slamming of several car doors and then the screeching of wheels.
"Graham?" Emma shouted, her ears ringing from the gunfire.
"It's clear," Graham's voice reassured her and she poked her head around the edge of the table.
In place of the gunfire there was screaming and Emma gasped as she took in the restaurant. Luckily the restaurant had not been full but still the damage to both property and people was severe. Several people were injured and there was fair amounts of blood seeping out of wounds that appeared to be superficial.
"Emma?" Mary Margaret's soft voice came from behind.
"It was me..." Emma whispered as she sank back to the floor.
"They were after me!"
To Be Continued.
