A/N: *Takes a fucking bow*

Enjoy~

Tweek

Tweek returned to the land of the living in much the same way he spent most of his time there.

Screaming.

For a moment, he was entirely convinced he was still watching Chris and the other Elves drag Craig away. All he could see were smirking faces and weapons pointed at Craig. Sharp, deadly affairs that would kill the boy if he moved wrong. That and the horrible, oppressive empty, sucking, darkness that was losing consciousness. His answer for it was to scream as loud as he could, attempting to shove everything else out of his mind with that sound. He couldn't think, he couldn't see, all he could do was yell out a mangled version of Craig's name.

Predictably, his throat gave out, reducing him to little more than pathetic, hacking coughs. As he sucked air into his lungs, he caught the overpowering scent of coffee beans and his mind jarred as it hit the spot where he'd put a wall and found that there was nothing there. Wait, coffee? This isn't the pavement, this is the back room of the shop!Armed with this revelation, Tweek's eyes flew open as he took in where exactly he was and what exactly was going on.

The first thing he saw was the looming, worried face of none other than the Noirette himself. Of course it wasn't immediately obvious that Craig was worried, he didn't have a lot of tells, but Tweek knew them. It was the way his eyebrows pinched slightly, his eyes intensified, and his lips pursed together just so. These little things, more than anything, were what calmed Tweek down, allowing him to calm his breathing down to normal and stop shaking so hard.

Despite having been roughly dragged away last Tweek knew, the boy looked to be entirely alright. He was crouched over Tweek, who, the blond boy was slowly realizing, had been laid out over one of the large sacks of coffee beans rather haphazardly. As more awareness returned to him, the still coughing boy let his head fall back as he twitched and drew the calm he needed from Craig's soft, worried gaze. What was going on didn't much matter, for now, Tweek breathed and counted the faint scars on the Noirette's face until he forgot what number he was on.

For a moment, Craig reached over Tweek's head and the boy was confused as to what was going on, before the boy's hand landed in his hair and the blond simply shivered and closed his eyes. It's almost like a ritual, isn't it? Jesus, that sounds horrible! But I guess I don't mind it, because it's Craig, and he calms me down. Though the memories seemed a little fuzzy from right before he'd gotten clobbered over the head by an Elf, the conversation he'd had with Craig slipping his mind, Tweek felt better, like now that Craig was here, everything was alright.

It is, it always is.

"I'm glad you're okay," Craig hummed, his tone stoic and absolutely controlled, all but for the clear relief in his eyes that Tweek knew well enough to pinpoint. Wow, I guess he isn't as hard to read as I've been thinking, Tweek thought distantly as he twitched and gazed into Craig's eyes. Maybe things just got screwed up because we weren't being honest with each other. Oh god, I hate it when I don't know things, I hate it when people aren't honest! Why did I act like that? Jesus never again!

"Y-yeah," he pushed out instead, silencing the overactive thoughts bubbling in the back of his head. "Jesus man, w-what happened? Where did they take you!? What did they want?" Sitting up slightly, causing Craig to shift backwards so they wouldn't collide, Tweek jerked violently and let out a soft scream when he noticed the unconscious Elf lying over a sack of coffee across from him. "OH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO!?" the boy shrieked.

Turning slightly so he could raise his eyebrows at the unconscious Elf, Craig muttered, "Nothing that the fucker didn't deserve." Before Tweek could freak out, or even begin to, the Noirette picked something up and shoved a warm object into the boy's hands. "Here," he said shortly, calm as ever.

Taking it, his brain registering the thing as a coffee mug before Tweek had processed what was going on, the blond instinctively lifted it to his lips and drained half the mug. Instantly a jolt ran through him and he shivered, recognizing his parent's blend at once. More than that though, Tweek found himself smiling because even though Craig's coffee making skills had improved, he was still god-awful at it.

"Ngh- S-so are you going to tell me what happened?" Tweek pestered Craig, reaching out a hand and tugging at the edge of the boy's cape. "Th-they just dragged you off and then they -ghn- knocked me out before I c-could do anything! Jesus, it was so terrifying! What did they want with you man?" Drawing Craig's attention back to him, Tweek stared into the boy's impossibly blue eyes and almost dumped coffee over both of them when a different voice spoke from the corner.

"We wanted to talk to him about stuff that the Elf King wanted to keep between the Elves and him." Flinging his head around, Tweek found Stan Marsh of all people leaning against the wall, his face set into one of those horribly unreadable frowns that Tweek knew the boy for. "We gave him back in one piece."

"Yeah," Craig agreed, his flat tone bordering on sarcasm. "Right after you and your leader proved themselves to be complete dicks." Regardless of the situation, Tweek found himself fighting laughter at the way Stan's feathers visibly ruffled at Craig's comment. It was amazing how easily people got under Stan's skin, Tweek reflected as the boy's features darkened into a scowl.

"Tucker," he said warningly, as if he was at all threatening.

"Marsh," Craig returned, flipping him off.

Loosing his battle to his own reactions, Tweek giggled even as he twitched hard and gripped Craig's cloak a little harder. "Rrr- Oh god, I'm just glad you're alive!" Tweek exclaimed, quickly finishing his coffee, even though it tasted like something you might find in an instant packet at a rest stop. "I th-thought they were gonna kill you or something!" At the thought Kyle and the others killing Craig right after he and Tweek had finally made progress in fixing things, Tweek shivered violently. "Jesus, I couldn't handle that!"

"Yeah, well, the Elves are wimps," Craig said, yet again provoking a huff from Stan. "They wanted us to join them?"

Join them? But we already have a side! And I don't even want to play anymore? Did Craig say yes? Is that why Stan's here? Oh god, what do I do if he joins Kyle!? WILL I JOIN TOO?! IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE! "ACK! I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE ELVES!" Tweek screeched, yanking on his hair, dropping his empty coffee mug.

Quickly reaching out, Craig caught the mug and said, "Yeah, that's what I said." Looking at the boy, Tweek kept pulling on his hair until the Noirette blew out a breath and stretched out his fingers, ruffling the boy's mane until he let go of it. "Cartman might be a professional idiot, but he's the one we chose, and I don't give enough of a fuck to change sides." He said this pointedly, like he was trying to say something to Stan.

Clearing his throat, the Ranger spread his hands and said, "Look, Craig, don't look at me. Kyle just told me to go with you. Don't shoot the messenger asshat, I don't want to be here anymore than you do." Twitching, Tweek looked back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on, but to no avail. I wish they'd just have brought me! Why do they always have to take Craig and not me? Why does he always go places without me? I just want him to be safe!

As the blond let out an involuntary sound, Craig's eyes flickered back to him, and the boy softened slightly. "It's not like something interesting is going to happen from here to the Goths, Marsh, but knock yourself out."

Allowing Craig to help him to his feet, Tweek spent a moment checking to make sure he had all of his various weapons before looking up at the Noirette and growling softly. "Ngh- Th-the Elves are the only ones who've been hurting us w-whydoweneedthem?" Twisting his head fast enough that his neck cracked alarmingly, Tweek stared at the boy and refused to be cowed by his frightening expression. "Y-You guys are the ones that knocked us out!"

"It doesn't matter," Craig muttered, straightening Tweek's Mongorian bow as he talked. "He'll be leaving the moment we deliver the Goths their coffee." He said it like it was something they'd already discussed, but Tweek knew Craig, and he had a feeling this was the first Stan had heard of it. Despite this, the Elven boy dipped his head and snorted, as if unwilling to argue with him.

"Yeah, as soon as we -rrr- deliver them the ir COFFEE OH JESUS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM COFFEE!" Suddenly jerking away from Craig, Tweek scrambled about the room as he dug up the specific coffee grounds that the Goth kids always ordered whenever they actually chose to go to Tweek Bro's. "Oh god, what if they hate us cause w-we took so long!" Tweek yelped, his brain scrambling at one-hundred miles per minute. "I m-mean, who gets kidnaped on their way to getting c-coffee?"

"It'll be fine," Craig said, watching Tweek with his usual stoic chill that the blond would probably never have in his life. "It hasn't even been an hour, they'll live." Looking up at the boy as he juggled three large disposable cups and one small one, Tweek let out a stressed sound and shook his head. This is so insane. I can't wait till things go back to normal! I miss normal, with no monsters and no factions and no aliens and definitely no kidnapping.

"Is this the kind of menial stuff you're usually doing for the Grand Wizard?" Stan asked, for once not sounding adversarial. Shaking his head like he couldn't quite believe it, he muttered, "No wonder why you want the game to end, dude. I wouldn't want to run his errands either."

Snorting, watching Tweek as he continued to attempt to get the Goths' coffee, Craig agreed, "Yeah, it's bullshit. He's a lazy ass, and now he's trying to get involved in the game, which is stupid." Walking over to where Tweek was struggling with two full cups of coffee, Craig helpfully grabbed them out of the trembling blond's hands and continued, "I promise you, he's going to bring the whole game down on his own."

"Might as well just sit on it," Stan suggested, chuckling, a slight grin on his face. "He's such a fatass, he'll just crush it."

"If you can get him off of his ass long enough to move him," Craig countered, an eyebrow lifting.

Stan laughed. "Kyle's right, you are on the wrong side." The moment he said it, Tweek could feel the good mood in the room vanish. Why do people have to hate each other? It's way too much to handle! Letting out a scream through his teeth, the blond shook his head violently and yanked on his hair with the hand that wasn't occupied.

"Jesus, if it w-weren't for Clyde, we wouldn't have joined Cartman's side at all!" Tweek yelped, hands shaking as he finished filling the other cup of coffee and put it on a tray before grabbing the cups from Craig's hands. "I don't even care about Cartman's side! I m-mean, there are lots of people there now that are okay, b-but Clyde's the reason we joined!"

At those words, Stan's eyes widened and he started to speak before Craig cut him off with, "Well, I'm pretty sure Clyde's getting tired of this game too, so it's not going to matter for much longer." Staring at Stan with an expression that Tweek couldn't say, the boy continued, "But you're right Tweek, not all the Humans are shit. Some of them aren't that bad."

Giving Craig a quizzical look, as if he were just as clueless as Tweek as to what was going on, Stan slowly said, "Yeah, and most of the Elves are okay too. I've gotten to know most of them, Kyle usually puts either me or Chris Donnelly in charge of big battles. They're alright, though I don't really get to talk to most of them. I spend most of my time helping Kyle."

Though he didn't say it out loud, Tweek privately shivered and thought that, in his mind, the only way to get to know someone was to actually talk to them. He doubted that Kenny or Cartman knew a thing about the other humans. Even Token probably only knew enough to use the kids strategically. Clyde, Craig and he, they knew the other humans. In spite of his anxiety when it came to dealing with new people, Tweek paid attention to the other boys, and he remembered each of them clearly.

You couldn't do that if you were tied to a leader.

But he didn't say any of that, Tweek just twitched and squeaked, "Rrr- I just want things to be over s-so that everyone can go back to normal! This whole th-thing makes stuffreally confusing." Fitting lids on the different coffee cups with little, quick snaps, the boy continued, "I mean, r-remember when people could just be friends?"

"Yeah, you have a point," Stan huffed out, apparently discarding whatever he'd been confused about. As Tweek picked up the tray and looked up at Craig expectantly, the Elven boy continued, "As much as I get sick of Cartman, he's my friend, and Kenny's actually pretty chill, when he isn't pretending to be a chick."

"McCormick is full of shit," Craig said confidently, ruffling Tweek's hair lightly before walking towards the door, prompting the coffee laden blond to follow along behind him. "But Clyde can be a bitch, and Token can be weird, and they're still my friends, so yeah, I get it." After running Craig's words through his head a few times, Tweek let out a soft, involuntary noise, which made the Noirette look down at him.

"What about m-me!?" Tweek asked, and if he'd had a hand free, he would have yanked at his hair in an attempt to pull some of the stress out of his head. Oh jesus, Christ! Why did I ask that? I didn't need to do that! He was just using examples, why did I say anything? As his trembling got worse, the coffee he was holding shook alarmingly, coming close to tipping over and falling entirely.

Then Craig's hands were there, taking the coffee out of Tweek's hands as he bumped up against the blond calmingly. "You're Tweek," Craig said, as if that explained everything. "You're different."

Stan only looked between them for a second before rolling his eyes and pushing open the back door of Tweek Bro's. "You two are weird, let's get going." Ignoring Tweek's cry of protest and Craig's middle finger, the boy stepped outside, and once Craig followed him, Tweek did as well.

As the three of them walked towards the school, Tweek trailing behind Stan and Craig walking a pace behind him, just like in the old days when they'd been the fearsome monster duo, Tweek found that okay, Stan wasn't that bad, he was actually pretty alright. It was interesting, now that he had Craig with him, this silent, stoic deterrent against all things casually cruel, Tweek found that a lot of people were nice. Maybe they weren't people he wanted to be friends with, but they weren't horrible. And even when Craig wasn't around, they weren't as bad to him as they once were.

Perhaps that made him naive, being willing to give them a chance, but then, he spent most of his time being painfully suspicious of everyone, and he didn't like it. He prefered not having to worry about everyone planning on killing him, especially when there were legitimate fears and concerns to be worrying about. Besides, it was nice, just listening to Craig and Stan banter above him, entirely at ease with each other despite their opposing sides.

It was funny, though Tweek knew that Craig often got annoyed at Stan, they were at least a little alike. At a quick glance, they even looked similar, but he saw something else in them. Neither of them much cared for the system, and both of them tended to see the bad in a situation and mock it. Tweek wasn't sure if that was a good thing, but he also saw the fact that they were both protective of their friends, and that seemed like a better thing.

Stan cares about Kyle, and Craig cares about me.

"But remember that time that we got you to use your birthday money to help us start a Peruvian flute band?" Stan was crowing, a grin stretching his lips. "Dude, we were such assholes, but that was pretty fun." Craig rolled his eyes and huffed, but Tweek saw a small note of amusement in the boy's eyes. His own memories of the event were hazy, he hadn't really been involved, but then, no one wanted to involve him in much so that made sense.

"I can't forget it," Craig muttered, his flat voice containing almost rueful laughter. "Everyone thought it was my fault that you assholes got into trouble. We ended up in fucking Peru."

"You're extremely negative Craig," Stan said, smirking as if it was a private joke.

"Well, no one wants to hang out with you guys because you always end up doing stupid shit that results in national issues," Craig pointed out, an equally mocking. "You guys are suck dicks."

"W-what happened though?" Tweek asked, shivering and twitching. "Jesus man, I -ghn- didn't realize you went to Peru!" Glancing over at him, Craig raised his eyebrows, and his lips twitched upward into a slight smile that made Tweek slap a hand over his mouth to stifle a giggle. Through his fingers, he continued, "I mean, th-there were those Guinea Pigs everywhere, b-but no one ever told me what happened!"

"I thought everyone knew!" Stan exclaimed, looking over at Tweek in surprise. "Yeah, Tucker's, like the Lord of the Guinea Pigs or something. It turns out they sent us down to Peru to get rid of us." Tweek's eyes widened at that, and he caught Craig flipping Stan off.

"You mean they sent me to Peru to get rid of me. You assholes were just being idiots the entire fucking time," Craig commented mildly.

"To be fair dude, you spent most of it just making stupid comments," Stan prodded back, rolling his eyes. "We were walking through the jungle and an ancient temple with you for a long time, and all you did was make stupid comments about how you liked when things were nice and boring."

"But what happened?" Tweek insisted, tugging at Craig's cloak. "I w-was stuck in the back of the c-coffee shop the whole time! My parents had be back there mixing a new blend! Grrr- B-but when I got out, everything was a mess!" Which, to be fair, was pretty normal of South Park.

"It turns out Craig's actually Peruvian," Stan commented, as if that was an explanation. "And there were a lot of ancient Incan prophecies about him stopping the giant guinea-animals. You would have had to be there to understand it."

"I was going to save the world apparently," Craig said, as if it didn't matter that much. "There were sparks shooting out of my eyes. I shot a guinea pig pirate. It was a little weird." Scratching his head, he admitted, "Actually, I have no idea what happened." Looking over at Stan, he asked, "Why do I ever listen to you dicks again?"

Stan shrugged. "I dunno dude, it never seems to turn out well."

After a moment spent humming, Craig looked at the coffee he was still holding before saying, "Well, I guess all of you survive, so you're doing something right." Tweek yanked at his hair and twitched violently, because actually no not everyone survived, Kenny seemed to die a lot, but the boy wasn't actually dead, so he was probably just imagining it as usual.

Rolling his eyes, Stan whistled and muttered, "Honestly, I feel like this game is turning into something insane. I mean, first there's the new Taco Bell opening, then there's the weird metal that's showing up everywhere, and don't even get me started on the Nazi Zombies."

"NAZI ZOMBIES!?" Tweek shrieked, almost falling over in his alarm. "JESUS WHAT?!"

"Yeah, they've been everywhere! Haven't you seen them?" Stan asked, his eyes widening with surprise.

"You know, I actively try to avoid things like zombies, nazis and anything in between," Craig commented. "Which is why I can't wait till this game is over. I want things to go back to normal."

"Well, considering Clyde got thrown out, I guess that makes sense," Stan admitted, laughing.

Tweek's brain just sort of stopped.

Wait, what?

Craig's head snapped around and he glared at Stan, who looked at him like he wasn't sure what was wrong. "Dude, I know, it sucks, but Cartman has the power to banish people from space and time so-"

"CLYDE GOT THROWN OUT?!" Tweek's shriek cut through Stan's words, startling the boy. As his brain started to churn, making him feel sick, Tweek shook harder and looked between the boys, his eyes wide and terrified. "OH GOD -NGH- W-WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!" Clyde, one of the people who had stuck by Tweek through everything, had gotten thrown out, and he hadn't even noticed? That was way too much pressure!

"Tweek," Craig started, furrowing his brows at the boy and looking at him over his tray of coffee. "It's not-"

Why isn't he upset? WHY ISN'T HE FREAKING OUT?! DID HE KNOW!? DID HE KNOWN AND NOT TELL ME?! Shivering harder, Tweek shrieked, "H-HE'S YOUR FRIEND! W-WHY AREN'T YOU UPSET?!"

"Tweek, dude, it's not-" Stan attempted, but Tweek took a step back and shook his head like a dog, trying to get rid of the screaming in his head. Clyde never did anything wrong! He's too good to do anything bad! He's way better than me! Why did he get thrown out? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!

"JESUS HE D-DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" Tweek yelled, tangling his fingers in his hair and pulling hard enough that he could feel the hair parting with his scalp. "AUGH WHY DO Y-YOU PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE THIS?! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST B-BE NICE TO PEOPLE FOR ONCE?"

"Dude, it was Cartman," Stan said, like that made any difference. They were all friends, weren't they? They all did stuff like this! Tweek had spent his whole life getting bullied by Cartman, and Stan and Kyle always stood by and did nothing! This was no different, no, this was worse because at least Tweek was fucked up and stupid, but Clyde was nice and he didn't deserve something like that!

"Y-YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT TOO!" Tweek shrieked, shutting his eyes tight and quaking where he stood. "NGH- GOD YOU'RE ALL JUST ASSHOLES, HE D-DIDN'T DESERVE THAT! HE L-LIKED THE GAME! HE-"

Warm, firm arms wrapped around Tweek abruptly, muffling his screams. Without abandon, Tweek kept yelling into the muffling force until a hand landed in his hair, slowly patting him, ruffling his wild blond mane until the anger drained out of him. Shivering, Tweek could do nothing but listen as Craig said, "I know, he's gone. It fucking sucks, but that's why the games going to end soon Tweek. It's going to be over, and then Clyde and everyone else can calm down."

Leaning into Craig, Tweek shook and whimpered, "Jesus man, I -ghn- just wanted t-to have fun with my friends. Wh-why is any of this h-happening? I d-don't want to play anymore!" At the thought of Clyde, alone and upset because he'd been thrown out, Tweek wanted to start screaming again. Unbidden, an image of him standing at the top of his castle staring out at the rest of the kids playing popped into Tweek's head, and he shivered. "I want to go home," he said softly, his words spoken at little more than a whimper. "I want this to be over."

"Then go home," Craig said softly, his words startling Tweek, who looked up at him with wide eyes and a trembling lower lip. "Don't play anymore."

"Yeah, you can do that dude," Stan said, sounding almost miffed, as if the idea that they couldn't leave the game was confusing to him. "I mean, yeah, there's going to be a battle tonight, but you don't have to go. You don't have to fight. You only have to do what you want to."

Humming low in his throat, Craig tightened his arms around Tweek and said, "Actually, if you wanted, you could hang out with Bebe again tonight instead of fighting. I promise, no one's going to kidnap you again."

The words but I want to stay with you hovered at the tip of his tongue, but when he searched Craig's eyes, Tweek realized there was resolve hidden in those eyes, and he shivered. Craig's going to fight tonight, isn't he. No matter what I say. "You're not -ghn- going to stay home," Tweek pointed out nervously, shivering.

Stepping back from Tweek, stooping to pick up the coffee tray he'd left on the ground, Craig's lips turned down slightly before he answered, "No, I'm not going to." No explanation, no matter how much Tweek wanted one, no emotion either. Just calm, flat, certainty. Tugging his chullo down over his forehead, Craig said, "Someone has to keep playing, someone has to end this damn thing. Otherwise, Clyde's going to stay banished, and no one is going to talk to him."

Looking between them, clearly lost, Stan ventured, "I mean, you can do what you want Tweek? If you want to fight, no one's stopping you." Twitching, hands itching to climb back into his hair, Tweek finally swallowed his own internal turmoil and thought about it. Part of him wanted to, wanted to help Craig avenge Clyde, but the rest of him felt sick, and he realized what the answer was.

Shaking his head, fiddling with his hands, Tweek mumbled, "No, I'm just -rrr- going t-to go home." Clenching his lip between his teeth, the boy added, "Jesus Craig I- I think you should just go home too! It's -ngh- not worth it!"

"For me, it is," Craig said softly. Tweek wanted to argue, but by the set of the boy's features, he wasn't going to convince him. Besides, if I wasn't so tired of this, I would want to go too. Turning to Stan, Craig lifted his middle finger and said, "Look Marsh, you can keep walking with us, but I'm not going to change my mind about joining you guys, and I can handle myself."

"Yeah, I figured." Still examining them like they were somehow strange to him, Stan shook his head and said, "Well, at least I can tell Kyle I tried." Sucking in his cheeks, the boy waved a hand and muttered, "Later dudes," before ambling down the street away from them, his hand shoved into the pockets of his pants.

Looking up at Craig, Tweek asked, "Is Clyde okay?"

"No," Craig admitted, putting his head down. "Except neither are we." Shaking his head, the Noirette continued, "But it's all going to be over after tomorrow. I promise you." As if that were that, the boy balanced his tray in one hand and reached the other one for Tweek. Even though he wanted to ask, even though he had a million questions rocketing around in his head just moments away from bursting out of his mouth, Tweek clenched his jaw and shakily reached for Craig's hand. A rock, even when everything else was uncertain and scary.

"Ngh- I know," he mumbled, his eyes fixed on the sidewalk.

Craig's hand closed over his. "Good. Now," he looked ahead, his voice as calm as ever. "Let's get this coffee to those Nihilistic assholes and then I'll walk to you Bebe's." And Tweek didn't argue, because in the end, that sounded a whole lot better than putting up with any of the rest of this bullshit any longer.

Fuck Cartman, Tweek thought, stumbling along after Craig.

Thinking of the rest of the people who were part of the whole mess, Tweek mentally added, And fuck Kyle too.