34.

Alex hardly managed to sleep at all last night. She was really not looking forward to the conversation she was about to have with the four year old boy. Currently finding herself pacing in front of Pipers front door she hasn't had the guts to knock yet. How the hell can a grown woman be this scared of a little boy. She is four time his size for goodness sake, she thought to herself. But it wasn't so much that she was scared of him just scared of breaking his heart. Maybe he will get excited about coming to visit her back home and that would make the blow a little less, but with Cameron you never know. He is full of surprises.

The front door opening rips her out of her thoughts "Al, you have been pacing out here for half an hour. You are going to leave holes in my floor." Piper offers her a small smile.

Alex lets out a little frustrating sigh and proceeds to walk into the house past the blond "I am so not looking forward to this." She mumbles, making her way into the kitchen. She notices that Cameron is not there having his cereal which is strange because it is way past breakfast time. "Where is he?"

"Well I had to tell him last night that he wasn't going to school and that he will be spending the day with you. As you can imagine he was very excited." Stopping to let out a little yawn, Piper continues "He woke me up at six this morning." She rolls her eyes "so he is upstairs getting dressed. He wanted to do it on his own."

Nodding Alex takes a seat at the kitchen counter still not saying anything. Piper can see that she is nervous and knows it is because she really don't want to hurt Cameron but he is four years old, surely between the two adults they can come up with something to sweeten the deal.

Piper walks over to Alex resting one of her hands over Alex's fidgeting ones. "It will be okay Al. Don't worry so much." She gives the hands a comforting squeeze. "Coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks." Alex relaxes a bit. "So Braydon came to see me last night." She tries to make conversation so she can stay out of her own thoughts.

Piper places Alex's mug in front of her and take a seat at the counter on the opposite side before she answers. "He told me. He told me he tried to convince you to stay, but apparently you are more stubborn than Cameron and I together." Piper laughs.

"His words or yours?" Alex asks raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Okay fine, mine, but he did say you are stubborn." The blond confesses. "He told me a bit about what you guys talked about. You know, Cameron, me, where to from here. I have no objection with Cameron coming to visit you during a holiday, so if you want to mention that to him to sweeten the deal…."

Piper got interrupted by her son running into the kitchen "Alex!" he shouts and she visibly stiffens because there is no turning back now but still she gets of her chair and picks up the little man jumping at her. Her heart breaking just a little when she notices he is wearing an outfit she once bought him to piss off Larry. The Jew boy dared to say Alex was turning Cameron into a little mini-me, so she did it properly and went out to buy him Black Skinny Jeans, Doc Martins, a black band t-shirt and a leather jacket. Larry nearly choked on his coffee the next morning.

Cameron and Alex says their hello's and Alex goes back to sitting where she previously were, placing the boy on the chair next to her. He is the first one to speak up again. "You left me at hospital without saying goodbye. I was supposed to go with you."

Alex's eyes widens and she looks at Piper and they both have concern in their eyes because Cameron is obviously already a bit annoyed with her and if he is this annoyed just for leaving him at hospital how will he feel about her leaving him for good.

"I know bud, I am sorry. I was just really angry at…" She pauses finding Pipers eyes again and the blond is watching her with a raised eyebrow. Alex clears her throat "at your school for not looking after you properly and you getting hurt."

"Okay" Cameron accepts her explanation "but they were looking. My teacher says I am just really to quick for them." And there is that impressed smirk again. Piper and Alex can't help but chuckle. Suddenly the boy has a confused look on his face "When they were putting in the stiches my teacher said that I worry her and then she said she was going to buy me a leash for my birthday. I don't know what that is." This time Piper and Alex full out laughs.

"You know when people walk with their dogs in the park and they lead them on that rope thing?" Piper asks and Cameron nods "That is a leash baby."

Even more confused "I don't know why she would get me that." He pulls a face and then suddenly its all smiles and teeth and excitement "Am I getting a puppy."

Pipers face turns to horror "No, no, no baby. The leash is for you."

At the first 'no' he already started ignoring his mother and turned to the other woman in the room. "Alex, am I getting a puppy. Are you buying me a puppy for my birthday? I cant wait for my birthday. Mommy and Braydon." He pauses "I mean my dad, said I can have lots of friends and we are going to have jumping castles and magicians and anything I want. So I told mommy I want a pony for the scared kids and for the tough ones like me, you have to take us on your bike." The boy excitedly rambles on and at that last bit Alex glares at Piper.

"I didn't say yes and I couldn't exactly give him a reason for saying no so I said nothing. He just assumed." Piper mumbles through clenched teeth.

"You always say you don't need a reason to say no, because you are the mother and mothers knows best." The boy interrupts the two woman's staring contest obviously catching every word his mother just mumbled. "But it is my birthday mommy and Alex will be careful." He pouts.

"it's not about that baby."

Piper looks back at Alex again and the brunette knows she is silently telling her that it is now or never. Taking one deep breath Alex turns to look at Cameron.

"I need to tell you something okay but don't be mad at me okay."

"You are going to say no, aren't you." Cameron interrupts. "you are not going to take us on your bike at my birthday party. We will hold on really tight Alex." He rambles on but this time she cuts him off.

"I am not going to be at your birthday."

She never knew someone's face can turn from sadness to horrified in less than one second, but she just experienced that on the boy's face sitting in front of her. She however breaks her eyes away from him when she hears a puff off annoyance from the other side of the counter.

"Geez Alex, subtle much." Piper glares at her.

She knows she could have probably handled that a bit better but she just couldn't let Cameron ramble on thinking anything would change if he pleads and makes promises.

"but it's my birthday." He says sadly. Alex just looks at him trying to gather herself and her thoughts to approach the rest of the situation a bit better than she just did. Cameron however does not wait for a response. Instead he jumps off of his chair and walks around the counter to his mother. She picks him up and puts him on the chair next to her dragging it a bit closer so she can rest her arm on the back while stroking his hair. She places a soft kiss on his temple before she turns her attention back to the other woman. She can see the sadness and concern in Alex eyes and she knows that Alex needs her support in this. She leans over and takes one of the brunettes hands in her own and offers her a soft smile.

"Do you want me to do it." Piper whispers.

Alex doesn't offer a verbal reply but shakes her head letting Piper know she will handle it. "Cam, buddy. I am so sorry. I know it is your birthday but I won't be here, so that is why I can't come to your birthday. I really want to, but I just can't." She feels Piper squeezing her hand again and when she looks up at the blond she is shaking her head letting her know it is a good start.

Cameron eventually looks back up at Alex "Where are you going."

"I am going home."

"Alex you don't live that far away. I was at your house the other day."

Right, Alex thinks to herself. 'you are talking to a four year old.'

"Remember when we first met I told you I am from another country." Alex asks and he nods "Well I am moving back there this weekend. That is my home."

"But even if you fly that is hours away." Tears starting to build up in his eyes.

"I know it is."

"I am never going to see you anymore." He now starts to cry. "Are you mad at me?" he asks through his tears and his mother next to him starts crying tears of her own while leaning her head on his.

Alex can feel her own throat closing up. "No, of course I am not mad at you."

"Then why are you leaving me." He screams at her. He is angry, he is sad, he is frustrated and with that he hits the cup in front of his mother onto the floor spilling coffee all over her, the counter and the floor but she is just to sad to care.

Only when he jumps off the chair and starts running in the direction of the stairs obviously going to his room she calls after him, but he just ignores her and keeps running.

Alex wipes away tears of her own before she gets up off her chair mumbling "well that went well." While walking over to the basin to get a cloth to clean up the mess.

She goes back to where the coffee is spilled all over the floor and bends down starting to wipe it up, but she hardly started whipping before Piper got up off her chair and pulled her back up. "I'll clean it up, don't worry about it."

"It fine Piper, just let me do it." She says as she is about to go back down but the blond grabs her by the arms keeping her up.

"Alex, look at me." When green meets blue she continues "I will clean it up later okay. I think we need to go check on him."

Alex just nods and then looks down at Piper, covered in coffee from her neck down to her pants and all over her arms. She takes the cloth in her hands and starts wiping the coffee on Pipers neck but the woman grabs her arm "Eeuw Alex. You just wiped the floor with that thing." Chuckling she grabs Alex's hand. "Come on. Lets go check on him." She can feel the other woman hesitate "Let me talk to him okay."

Alex agrees and starts walking with the boys mother to his room. She does not know what to expect. She can only hope that Piper can defuse the situation a bit and they can get him to understand that she needs to do this and that it has nothing to do with him.

When they get to the room it is obvious that a tantrum was involved in the decorating of the carpet. Toys scattered everywhere, some even broken but Alex smiles inwardly noticing that the toys was very carefully selected and non of them are the favourites.

She holds back a bit while Piper approaches Cameron who is lying on his bed with his pillow over his head. "Baby." She lets him know of his presence, but gets no response so she sits down next to him and removes the pillow. He turns to look at her and she is glad to see he has stopped crying. She offers him a small smile which her returns but then his eyes find Alex who is standing just inside the door of his room and he huffs and turns on his side facing away from them. "Come on baby. We need to talk about this okay. You don't want to be mad at Alex when she leaves do you? You are not going to see her for a while and you will regret not saying goodbye." Piper tries but still, nothing. "If you are mad at Alex then you should be mad at me to. It's not Alex's fault that she is leaving. It is mommy's fault…" The blond whispers sadly before she gets interrupted by Alex.

"Piper, don't…."

But she stops when Cameron eventually turns around and sits in front of his mother showing some interest now. It's a step in the right direction. "Just say sorry."

Cameron says to his mother and both the grown-ups thinks to themselves, if only it was that easy. Alex can see Piper is struggling with a response to that. What does she say. That sorry is not good enough. He is four years old, he wont understand that. To him it is good manners to say sorry to someone and then all is forgiven. In his books sorry fixes everything. She decides to step in so she carefully approaches the bed and when she sees no objection on the boys face she takes a seat next to Piper.

"It's not just your mommy's fault." Alex says looking at Piper "It's not" she says looking at the blond making sure she understands this "we did have a fight, but she did say sorry. I forgave her already. I am not mad at her anymore."

"Then why are you still leaving." He asks.

"You know when you go and sleep at your dad's house and then on some days before they put you to bed you cry, because you want to come home because you miss your mommy." He nods "Well, It is the same with me. I already told my mommy that I am coming home and if I tell her now that I am not coming home anymore she will be very sad."

"Cant you just visit her and come back."

"Right now I can't, no. But I promise I will call you as often as I can and we can even skype. You know what skype is right." She asks

"Yes, me and mommy does that when she is away for a while."

"So you see, I will call you and we can skype and I will try and come visit you when I can" his face starts lighting up a bit so she continues "and that is not even all. Your mom and dad both said that maybe you can even come and visit me sometime."

"In another country." He questions his mother.

"Yes baby, in another country, but it might not be for a while okay." The mother feels like she has to add that just not to give him false hope or come running to her the next school holiday expecting them to jump on a plane.

"Okay." He looks at Alex and she is happy to see she is getting at least half a smile. "I don't like it if my mommy is sad, so I know you don't want your mommy to be sad." He says as he crawls up on Alex's lap. "Promise you will call lots and lots and lots."

"I promise."

The three of them sit there for a while, silence filling the room. The two adults thinking how things didn't really start off great but they are pleased with how it ended, other things are running through Cameron's mind.

"So," he begins "about that puppy."

He doesn't even get to say anything else before his mother jumps up off the bed shaking her head. "No Cameron, the answer is no. No puppies. They dig holes, they eat furniture, they roll around in the dirt then comes into the house. No…" Piper rambles on as she walks toward the bedroom door. Alex is laughing so hard she doesn't get half of what the blond is saying. "I am going to change. I need to go to set." She finishes as she walks out the door.

"So dramatic." Cameron mumbles with a shake of the head and now Alex is laughing so hard she can hardly breath. She is going to miss this little man.