CHAPTER 12 - FAIR SEX

I know I have a crazy plan, but it's certainly the best plan so far. As much as my sense of self-preservation screams for me to run away as fast as I can and that will be unbearable to be a plaything for Lory and Ren, especially now that I know they have nothing against me, I remain cordial because I think I'm right where it is more advantageous to be.

"Have the enemies around." Thanks for the tip, Machiavelli.

Kanae and Chiori cannot even imagine how much they taught me. Yayoi and my mother do not know how much they taught me. I have spent the last six years moving freely in a world of men, and however much the life of a Digger is restrictive, it is still less limited than the life of a woman.

It was interesting to live like a man for so long. However, now is the time to be a woman again, so I need to put into practice everything I have learned from the women of my life. Any disadvantage can be compensated: if I have no voice, I will be cunning. If my physical strength is inferior, I will plan. If the information I receive is scarce, I will learn to fill in the gaps with observations. I will be an invisible force growing every day precisely because I am underestimated.

Yes, ignore me. Yes, submit me. Before they know it, I will be the weed that consumed their gardens.

The world doesn't know yet who I am, but knows that I exist. Such information would not have been revealed if it were not in their interest, and that is precisely what I need to find out: what, exactly, do they want with me. The reason for each of them to keep me around.

However, I can't think clearly. As much as I try to suppress my weakness by repeating to myself "if Kanae and Chiori can do it, so can I!", the tension that I feel for what awaits me in the next room claims and consumes each of my thoughts.

It would have been the best shower of my life, had it not been for the price I will pay for it.

There is no clothing anywhere, so I wrap myself in the towel and put my head out of the bathroom. I find the Monster lying on the bed. His huge silhouette is visible even in the pitch of the room. I tell myself it's from cold, not from fear that I'm shaking. I approach him slowly.

"Errr... Master Tsu-"

"Ren. My name is Ren"

"..."

"What do you want, Kyoko?"

I do not know if he's tired or having fun, which is annoying.

"Clothes. I need clothes"

"For what?"

Having fun, definitely.

"What do you mean, 'for what'? People wear clothes, dammit!"

"To sleep?"

"Of course to sleep!"

"Nonsense. Tomorrow you will get clothes. Now, come to bed"

He cannot be serious!

"I... but... never..."

"You get used to it. Come to bed"

Half my neurons are gone.

"But... huh? Do you sleep naked?"

"Yes, always. Bed. Now"

"This ... this is-"

"Kyoko, bed!"

"But-ah!"

As my brain fried with the prospect of lying down naked next to an equally naked man, Ren lost his temper and pulled me onto the bed and above him. I became aware of some unusual sensations in the ensuing uproar, such as the vexing cry I made, the muffled complaint he uttered when he felt me wrapped in a damp towel, and the dexterity with which he removed said towel and positioned me beside him, under the covers. My whole body tensed involuntarily and I instinctively struggled against the larger, stronger limbs that tried to immobilize me until I finally realized that it only made my body rub against his.

Moreover, that... hard, hot thing pulsing against me was not helping at all.

###

"Stop. Kyoko, stop! Damn, stop struggling, you're going hurt yourself!"

Does everything have to be complicated with this woman? Hasn't she realized yet that she's risking getting sick?

I finally got her under me, naked and fresh as new. Our skins touch, hers much colder than mine, and I know she can feel how excited I am. Not only because it would be impossible to disguise, but also because she reacted by firmly closing her legs. Her whole body seems to tremble and I don't know what to say to reassure her. A strangled sound escapes her, maybe a sob she tried to contain.

"I'm not trying to subjugate you: I'm trying to transfer some heat to your body"

"..."

"I may be the Monster, but I'm not an animal!"

Wow, Ren. That sounded great!

"..."

"There you go. Now that you've warmed up and calmed down, let's go to sleep"

The fuck she calmed down, I just needed an excuse to get off her.

"I had a full day, I'm sure we're both tired"

Why am I blabbering, again?

I cannot see her in the darkness of the room, but I feel in her body how much my statement surprised her. I cover ourselves in such a way that there are cloths between us, even if we are naked. I know it is not prudent to show consideration for her modesty, for she can understand such a gesture as a weakness of mine to be explored in the future - and any power, real or imagined, that she thinks she possess is an added risk to her - but I cannot ignore the fear she is showing.

We just lay there for a few minutes and my mind begins to drift as sleep begins to fall on me. Apparently, my day really was full. Either that or it's strangely comfortable to hug the 'cocoon-Kyoko'.

Yes, it's very comfy. She, however, seems to suffer from rigor mortis.

"Master Tsuruga?"

"Ren"

How many times do I have to correct her?

"Shouldn't I go to my room then?"

Holy shit.

"Your room, Kyoko?"

"Yes, since you want to sleep. Procreators have their own room, don't they?"

"Yes, they have"

"So good night. I'll go to my-"

I pull her back to the bed before she can get up.

"You'll stay right where you are, Kyoko. If I didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here, that simple. Now, sleep"

###

Who would have thought the Monster Tsuruga likes to snuggle in his sleep? With every sigh, snore or minimal movement on his part, my consciousness returns immediately and the reality fully awakes me.

Maybe I was able to sleep for two hours, adding up all the moments I dozed.

The dawn is advanced and soon the sun will rise. I cannot see it from here, but I bet the sky is a purplish blue color about to glow with the first rays of the day. All I can see now is Ren's expression.

Finally seeing him, he doesn't look as peaceful as I imagined, judging only by his deep, rhythmic breathing. His brow is wrinkled and he has stammered a few times, so he must be plagued by nightmares. He's a heavy sleeper, weak point number one; and probably can't get enough rest, weak point number two.

If even the Monster cannot rest what remains for the rest of us mere mortals? After all, he's on the damned top of the fucking world! On the other hand, knowing that there is something capable of tormenting even someone like him is comforting, in a way. He looks more... harmless now. Almost human, perhaps.

What the hell am I thinking? Concentrate, Kyoko!

My nerves will not last another night like this. Or maybe they will, but I do not want to postpone the inevitable. I don't want to make him lose his temper either: Sho was a boy about half the size of Ren and he almost broke me in half.

No, do not remember, do not remember, do not remember, Kyoko!

I need to focus on now. If Kanae and Chiori can do it, I can do it, too.

The nightly movements moved the covers and I feel his legs in mine. I don't know how to make this work exactly, but it shouldn't be too different from fitting two pieces. Yes, thinking this way, everything seems less complicated. Maybe I can even do it without waking him up!

(Momiji rolled her eyes, Kuon flinched in a corner, Natsu and Mio look at me as if I'm stupid and Setsu murmured "girl, you got it all wrong." Yeah, it would be easier to be any of them now, but it's Kyoko who I need to be. So shut up!)

If I turn him around, maybe he'll wake up. So, it's best to leave him as he is.

Damn, I need to turn around. But I don't want to face him!

Back, then.

He sighed, but didn't wake up. Good!

I need... just... grope until I find... Found it!

Okay, he's still sleeping. But how do I make it hard?

(Just kill me, please!

Shut up, Kuon!)

Oops, it's getting bigger! And… bigger? Wait, it will stop growing, right?

Damn, now it's too big! How do I make it shrink?

(You're a shame to us...

Natsu, be quiet! Go help Kuon or something!)

###

I don't remember the last time I slept so well. I'm having the best dream of my life, too. Kyoko's scent and warmth are everywhere. She does not look at me with fear or hatred, but with acceptance. She knows who I am, but she does not fear me. She understands that I'm just trying to protect her and smiles at me.

The little hand touches me and the dream is so realistic that it is not a soft hand that envelops me, like the hands of all the other women with whom I slept, but the calloused hand of one who has become accustomed to heavy work. Yet, or perhaps for that very reason, it is the most exciting touch I have ever felt and my body reacts automatically.

I fight to stay asleep, because I do not want the dream to end. However, there is something strange demanding my attention. I open my eyes and encounter the top of Kyoko's head. Then...

"What the hell are you doing?"

I do not know how to interpret her startle. Was it possible she had forgotten that I was there? Impossible, right? Not when she's so keen to get me into her.

"Ugh, you woke up..."

"I woke up? Were you... were you molesting me while I slept? "

I honestly do not know what to expect from this woman anymore.

"No! No! How can you think- "

"My penis. In your hand. While I slept! Right now!"

"No... it's not... Stop making it sound like I'm a pervert!"

"Oh no. Not a pervert, for sure. A pervert wouldn't be drier than desert sand!"

I wish I could get out of bed with airs of outrage and spend hours lecturing her about good manners, privacy, intimacy, respect, and so on. Maybe she could even have a more favorable view of me if I reprimanded her with a fine moral lesson.

But fuck it, I'm just a man who does not know if I'll be alive in the next hour and she's my fucking ideal woman.

My... ideal woman? What the fuck was that?

"Well, I just wanted to get this over with!"

Does she know she's still holding my penis?

"The worst way possible? You want me to hurt you, is that it? "

Does she realize I'm getting more excited every second?

"Of course not! It's just the opposite!"

"How so? You're far from ready! "

"Ready? I'll never be ready! Not for the... atrocious thrusts!"

Ah, now my patience has reached the limit. What or who does she think I am?

###

He woke up too early. Hell, I just got the tip in. If I hadn't been so worried about pain, my mission would be fulfilled.

I don't know what I said to provoke the current reaction; I just know that now he is hugging me tightly and biting the back of my neck.

"You should have had this idea sooner"

What happened to his voice? It's giving me shivers...

"Preferably, last night"

Why is he running his hands over my body and licking my neck? It makes no sense!

"My day starts very early, I do not have as much time as I would like..."

He likes to bite and lick. What is he, some kind of beast?

"But I don't think you'll care if I'm a little eager, right? After all, you just want to get it over with…"

There's something wrong with his voice. And with my body. I'm feeling... ticklish? No... what's happening to me?

"Spread your legs a little more"

I do not know why I'm obeying.

"Yes, just like this..."

There is too much happening. Why my ear? Why my breasts?

"Raise your ass a little more... ngh, perfect!"

I thought he was already inside me, but only when he really penetrated me did I realize my mistake. The feeling is strange, definitely different from the first time. It's not exactly nice, but it's not as uncomfortable as I remember.

No, don't remember!

###

Something changed. She was adjusting perfectly to me, I'd even say she was starting to enjoy it. However, the once receptive body became tense and I don't know what went wrong. I want to kiss her, but for some reason I don't think she'll like it. After all, a kiss can be more intimate than sex. I caress her again in an attempt to make her relax once more.

"No!"

My hips stop immediately.

"Kyoko?"

She seems to try to pretend she's okay, when it's obvious that something is wrong. I pull away and get out of her.

"No"

She takes me in her hands and puts me back inside her.

"Finish it"

"Finish it?"

"Please"

"Kyoko, that's not the way-"

"Please!"

"What's happening-"

"Please! Just... just finish it! "

I wish I could get out of bed and tell her how wrong that is. How that was not how I imagined our first time. How worried I am with her and how tormented I am not knowing what is happening. Maybe she could even have a better idea of me if I rebuked her for disrespecting her own body in a long moral lesson. But I'm just a man who does not know if I'll be alive in an hour, and horny as fuck.

I don't take long to cum, but it's not a good orgasm. Something more for relief than for pleasure, like a sneeze. I get out of her feeling empty for more than one reason and realize that there is some blood in me.

I want to hug her and spend the rest of the day beside her, understand what went wrong and fix all the problems that seem to distress her, but I have appointments in a few minutes and judging by the cocoon she has returned to be, she wants me away from her.

Even so, I still cannot leave her.

I moisten a cloth in the bathroom and return to her. I imagined she would cringe or attack me the instant I searched for her legs, but for now she seemed to be steeped in her own thoughts. However, as soon as I begin to cleanse her from what we have done, she returns to the present moment in a jolt and removes the cloth from my hands, saying that she can take care of herself.

'Outraged Kyoko' is easier to deal with than 'distressed Kyoko'.

She is so adorable trying to wipe herself under the covers that I almost smile. She steals glances at me to see if I'm still watching her, and as much as I know it makes her uncomfortable, I cannot find enough motivation to stop looking at her. She finishes cleaning herself and I reach out, but she does not give me the cloth. She looks embarrassed for some reason.

"There was a little blood"

"Yes, I know. There was blood on me, too. You're on your period, right?"

She blushes and shakes her head.

###

Shameless men, how can they talk about female intimacy so easily?

He looks terrified now.

"Don't tell me that... Kyoko, did I hurt you?"

Huh?

"No! Where did this idea come from?"

He looks at me like I'm the most bizarre creature he's ever seen.

"From where? Blood, woman! If you're not menstruating and if I have not hurt you... How long have you been without a lover?"

I hear a strange sound and it takes me a few minutes to realize that I am laughing.

"Lover? Me, with a lover?"

It's so hilarious that for a moment I can forget what just happened. Me. Ren. Us.

###

She's laughing so hard there are tears piling up in the corners of her eyes.

"Lover? I've never had a lover! I was raped, and that's all. Maria was the only body that has passed down here ever since"

Oh.

OH!

Holy shit, how can I be so stupid?

Sex is so commonplace (compulsory, even!) that the idea of an abstemious at the age of twenty has not crossed my mind, and it should, considering she has been hidden from the world in the last six years.

Now, her reaction makes sense. Wanting to "get it over with." Fear, tension, modesty. I thought it was hate and even habitual fear, after all, she had called me a Monster herself a few times, but to think that I was the first one since...

"Kyoko, look at me." Her eyes are still tinged with laughter. "Was I like Sho?"

"Like Sho? From what blind spot did this stupid question come?"

I'm naked, late, impatient and more repentant every second, and she does not give me a direct response. I'm so doomed with her!

"I want to know if in your crazy head I'm on the same level as Sho!"

She seems to contemplate my question when she tilts her head to the side and I vaguely remember having already seen this behavior in another person...

###

Right now, there is a furious debate in my head about what response to give. All Five say I should answer yes, after all, it would be easier to manipulate him if he is feeling guilt. It should be an easy answer, were it not for his eyes, a weapon of world domination.

Eyes of one who begs for a negative answer.

"You did what I asked you to do. What I... intended you to do, even without your consent"

(Wow, how weak you are.

Momiji, I like you more when you pretend to be dead!)

"Then no. In my crazy head-"

(You have no idea how crazy she is, handsome!)

"-you're not like Sho"

I thought his eyes were dangerous. I still hadn't seen his smile.

(That's what I call 'the perfect smile to sit on'!)

"Good... tonight, then..."

"What? What about tonight? "

Correction: I still had not seen the combination "suggestive eyes" plus "malicious smile". It seems like I'm not the only one that has many faces, after all.

A/N – Whew! Ok, now that I've discovered that I like to play with these two, this fic has become officially bigger than I predicted XD

But do not fear: it will have an end. An end that I consider exciting and cute, but that will make some people chase me with torches in their hands. After all, "exciting" and "cute" in a dark fic is not the usual exciting and cute.

Kisses and thank you very much for putting up with me!