Tweek
"You want to talk to the girls?" Heidi sounded dully unimpressed.
"Ngh, y-yeah!" Tweek insisted, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he stared up at Heidi. The girl tipped her chin up and looked him over, like she was deciding what she should do with him, which sent a jolt of discomfort through him. "Jesus, you guys have helped us before, why do you have to act like this?!"
"Stan is being a jerk to Wendy, and we don't want to put up with him," Heidi said, her tone clipped. "And if that's not enough, Craig broke up with Bebe recently." Glaring at Tweek, as if this was somehow his fault, the girl continued, "Today, she's miserable. It doesn't take much to connect the dots on that one Tweek. I'm sorry, but the girls want nothing to do with you guys anymore."
"Ngh- W-why would you say something like that?" Tweek demanded, grabbing at a hunk of his hair and yanking hard. "Stan always breaks up with W-Wendy. Craig's not even on our side! And CHRIST! Sh-she isn't even upset about Craig! You've got this all wrong!"
"Look Tweek, please don't make this harder than it needs to be," Heidi told him impatiently, her arms crossed across her chest. "The girls don't even want to play the game anymore, we've got much more important things to be worrying about than something like the Fantasy game."
"Well I think it'd be aweful nice of y'all to come an' help out anyway," Butters told the girl, rubbing the knuckles of his fists together while Tweek mentally screamed at Heidi. Oh god, why can't you understand how important this is? You're going to get us all killed! Jesus, I don't want to die! "It'd won't be that big, an' then things'll calm down!"
"The game's -ghn- going to be over soon!" Tweek squeaked, trying to keep his voice calm. He'd told Kyle that he could get the girls to listen, he had to at least make an effort to do it right. "We're trying to end it, b-but we need your help. Please listen to us!"
For a moment, Heidi looked like she was going to say no yet again, but finally she sighed and grabbed for her phone. "Fine, I'll text them, but they probably won't say yes, I'm just warning you." As he watched her nervously, Tweek let out a soft squeak, which was met by an indiscernible look from Heidi. "Why aren't you on Craig's side?" she asked frankly, her eyebrows furrowing like she was trying to figure him out.
"Rrr- because he w-wouldn't let me join his side," Tweek admitted in a small voice.
Unexpectedly, Heidi's eyes filled with something like pity. Glancing down at her phone, she said, "Yeah, I get that, people can be really crappy sometimes Tweek. They like to throw you out of groups for no reason, and they never explain things to you. But I hope Craig and you make up soon." As if she'd never said a word of that, the girl smiled and said, "Oh, looks like the girls want to see you. Come on you two, time to see Wendy."
Which is how Tweek had ended up standing in front of the girls, espresso clutched in one hand, hair tangled around the other, as he attempted not to scream. The girls had been arguing for several minutes now, something about an abortion clinic, which honestly made no sense to Tweek at all, and it was really starting to stress him out.
Butters, to his credit, seemed entire relaxed about the matter, simply smiling worriedly at the girls like he genuinely cared about what they were talking about. Tweek didn't, he just wanted it to stop. Who talked about things like this so casually? Girls weren't human, there was no way that they could be. Hating that he'd ended up in this situation in the first place, Tweek took a rushed gulp of his coffee in an attempt to drown out his own screams.
He didn't even want to be here, but it was almost over, right? And every time he thought about Craig, standing there above him, his face set into a mask of stone, Tweek's reslove strengthened. He had to do something, he had to make Craig understand. Besides, Kyle had asked him to, and after the boy had helped him escape the gnomes, Tweek felt like he owed the redhead. I hate owing people! So he'd do this, just this one thing.
Just recruit the girls, the others would handle the rest.
Unforutnetly, that direction was decivingly simple. In actuallity, it was a lot harder to execute. Which is why Tweek was listening to them argue about bitches and abortions, as if this was important when they were on the brink of war.
"But we all know that Monica Ryland is a two-faced bitch!" Milie insisted, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. "I think that we should just go after her, otherwise, this is going to spread."
"I'm not a whore," Annie Nelson whispered tearfully. "I can't believe she'd say things like that about me."
"We don't think you are honey," Jenny cooed, putting her hand on the girls shoulder soothingly. "But I don't think that Monica did this! I mean, she's a dirty bitch, but this just isn't her style at all. Besides, what does she have against Annie Nelson?"
"Yeah, she'd be more likely to go after Bebe," Red agreed, tapping a finger against her desk. "Everyone knows that she'll spread her legs for anyone, and she's had eyes on my cousin for a long time. So why would she go after Annie."
Bebe, Tweek noticed, didn't respond to any of this, and he let out a soft whimper as he caught the miserable look on her face. Apparently, she hadn't cheered up since yesterday, and he couldn't help but be worried about that. She's probably still worried about Clyde. Jesus, I'm worried about him too! But we can't do anything!
"If it pleases and sparkles, can we please let the matter of the abortion clinic drop," Heidi requested, staring up at Wendy, who was still silent. "Tweek and Butters want to know if we're going to join the game, can we just give them an answer now and worry about this later?"
"Heidi, you have to support your sunshine sisters," Wendy chastised shortly, waving her gavel at the girl. "We need to find this two-faced bitch, we can't just let her wander around, unquestioned. That's not going to help anyone! Especially if you're going to ask us to go to war."
Heidi groaned loudly. "I'm not even asking you girls to go to war, I just don't want to argue about this anymore! Annie Nelson is fine, okay? I'm getting so sick of this conversation."
"Heidi, that's not very glittery!" Annie Knitts exclaimed, sounding horrified. "How could you say something like that about what's happened. We've got to figure out who's spreading these rumors, no one deserves to be talked about like this behind their back."
"It's not like you're one to talk," Heidi muttered darkly, just loud enough for Tweek to hear and panic. This is why I hate girls! Why can't Bebe just say something, then I wouldn't have to deal with the rest of them! This is so stressful!
"I don't think it's very nice for anyone t'be spreadin' rumors around!" Butters piped up, puffing up his chest and giving them all a serious look. "An' I'd sure like to help y'all figure out what happened, cause people like that are big ol' meanies!"
"Ngh- JESUS WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!" Tweek squawked, sloshing some of his coffee onto the floor of the girl's hideout. "Don't you guys get it? W-we're going to have a war!" Shivering, feeling the stress building up in the back of his brain, Tweek struggled to not freak out, even though he was on the verge of losing it completely.
"Look, Tweek, it's going to take a lot for us to actually want to help you boys," Wendy said, crossing her arms and staring down at him. "Nothing personal, but the Boys are irritating, and I don't want to have to deal with them."
"Especially if we have a two-faced bitch in our midst," Milie agreed, sniffing.
"Wouldn't it be easiest just to go to the abortion clinic and get the records?" Red asked, only to be met with a chorus of girls protesting her words. "What? It would be much more efficient than finding Monica Ryland, because everyone knows that she's a two-faced bitch, but we don't know if she was even at the clinic, so we don't know if she'd have the chance to see Annie."
"I never got an abortion!" Annie insisted, her lower lip trembling. "I would never do something like that, I don't sleep around."
"Well, looks like you've got your answer," Heidi said, shrugging as if she could care less. "Sorry you two, but I told you the rest of the girls wouldn't want to be part of it." Feeling his spirits drop, Tweek let out an involuntary sound and twitched hard, shaking his head violently, but Heidi's expression didn't change. "Look, we've got other things to worry about, I'm sure that you can deal with this on your own."
"But-"
"Motion to not help the boys!" the girl below Wendy called out.
"Sunshine, Sunshine!" Wendy called out.
"Wait!" At the sound of Bebe's voice, Tweek's head snapped up and all the other girls fell silent. "Tweek-" Pausing for a moment, Bebe cleared her throat and asked, "Clyde's still acting weird, isn't he?" Catching the worry in her voice, Tweek dragged in a shivering breath and nodded quickly, his eyes wide an unblinking. "And Craig's still with him?" Another nod, this one accompanied by a soft whimper. Glancing up at Wendy, Bebe said, "I think we should listen to him."
Staring up at Bebe, Tweek felt the tension go out of his shoulders. If Bebe was on his side, then they'd be fine.
"Bebe, you don't want to work with the boys, look what happened with Craig," Wendy said impatiently, like she couldn't believe that Bebe would even consider it. "Come on, let's do something more sparkly than fighting with the boys."
"If it pleases and sparkles," Esther piped up. "It was actually pretty fun to play that game when we still got to fight. What if we just fought with them for this one battle?"
"Only if we sort out this problem with the two-faced bitch," Red insisted, her brows furrowed.
"Yeah, but I don't want to go to the abortion clinic to figure it out," Annie Knitts said, huffing. "There's no way I want to be seen around that place."
"Me neither!" Jenny agreed. "If we're going to figure this out, we need someone to go to the abortion clinic!"
Shuffling beside Tweek, Butters piped up, "W-well what if y'got a disguise or somethin' and then went! Then no one would know who it was." At his words, the other girls started to murmur amongst themselves, and Tweek bit at his lip to hold back any nervous sounds. How Craig had put up with this was beyond him, but if he could do it, then Tweek could do it too.
As one girl leaned in and whispered something to Wendy, the girl nodded and said, "I mean, I guess they both sort of look like girls…" Who are they talking about? Wait, are they talking about Butters and me? Oh god, we don't look like girls! Why would they say that?! "That actually might work, good thinking Milie."
"What might work?!" Tweek demanded, clenching his fingers around his thermos until his knuckles went white.
Rapping her gavel against the table, Wendy sharply said, "You said that the boys want us to fight for them, didn't you?" When Tweek nodded rapidly and twitched, the girl said, "Well, we might be willing to help, but only if you're willing to help us."
Oh god, what are they going to have me do? No, he couldn't think like that, he had to trust that he could do it. Summoning his courage, Tweek lifted his chin and said as clearly as he could, "As long as y-you promise to help the boys afterward, then we'll do it."
"O'course we will!" Butters agreed, smiling happily, the expression stretching from ear to ear. "Me an' Tweek will be able to do anythin' you could ask!"
Bebe spoke up. "They want you to dress up as girls and infiltrate the abortion clinic."
Despite the fact that he'd sort of seen it coming, Tweek let out a screech. "WHAT!?"
Scoffing, Red tossed her hair over her shoulder and grumbled, "I told you they wouldn't find it very glittery." Several other girls made sounds of agreement, which only made Tweek's panic increase. "Well, I guess we're not-"
"No wait!" Tweek yelped, jerking to the right hard. "Ngh- C-can we think about it?"
"Sure, you get half a minute," Heidi said, tapping her foot. "Go."
"OH GOD PRESSURE!" Whipping his head around to Butters, Tweek yanked on his hair and asked, "Jesus d-do you think this is a good idea? I mean, w-what if we get caught?! Or killed? Do they kill you if you impersonate someone? I don't think I could handle that!"
"It's okay Tweek," Butters said, smiling reassuringly. "I think we'll do jus' fine if we do our best." Turning to the girls Butters smiled eagerly up at them and said, "Y'know, I've never dressed up as a girl or nothin', b-but Kenny makes it look easy, so I suppose it can't be all that bad, right?"
"Motion to have Butters and Tweek infiltrate the clinic and find out who the two-faced bitch is?" Jenny asked, looking around the room.
Tweek let out a shriek of fear.
"Sunshine, sunshine!" most of the girls chorused happily.
"Sparkle," agreed Wendy, a smile actually making its way onto her face.
"And you know what that means?" Annie Knitts asked excitedly, her eyes bright and mischievous. "Makeover~!"
"Makeover!" the other girls agreed excitedly. Suddenly, Tweek found himself and Butters getting swarmed by girls as they were pushed through the clubhouse, on their way to wherever it was the girls kept the clothes. Head spinning, still unsure what had just happened, Tweek didn't fight Red as she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards another room, followed eagerly by Jenny, Bebe, Esther, and several other girls.
"Now, we just need to make you look like a girl," Jenny said conversationally, casually stealing Tweek's weapons and tossing them into a corner of the room. Watching as his various dangerous implements were stripped from him, Tweek let out a squawk as a girl grabbed him by his shoulders and another stole his pants. Oh god what if they eat me!?
But then Bebe was there, helpfully showing up in front of Tweek with a rag and a soft attempt at a smile. "Don't worry Tweek, everything's going to be okay," she said softly, and the blond twitched as the girl carefully started to wipe the warpaint off of his face. "Right? We're going to stop them from doing this, and then things will go back to normal." Which of us is she trying to convince? Tweek wondered, before realizing that it didn't really matter. They both needed a little reassurance right about now.
"Yeah, but let's focus on making Tweek look like a proper girl," Esther called, already buried in the closet they had in the room.
"I've always wanted to put him in a pair of heels," Red commented, grabbing for an alarming pair of red high heels before dropping them and pulling out a taupe colored set of shoes that Tweek didn't have a name for. "He's just so short, they'd make him look better, don't you think?"
"It's got to be believable," Bebe reminded them, carefully finishing her self appointed task of removing the stripes from Tweek's neck. "Remember, we're trying to convince adults here, but I know we can do it."
"Remember that time we tried to get Henrietta to wear something other than that horrible net dress?" Jenny called, checking various shades of lipstick on the back of her hand. "Oh my god, you would have thought we were trying to give a cat a bath, I swear she scratched me."
"I think she looks fine in that dress," Red huffed, pulling out a pale pink skirt and holding it up to the light. "It fits her, you guys were being cruel telling her she looked fat in it."
"Well she does," Esther informed Red, rolling her eyes."
"Of course you don't think she looks fat," Jenny agreed, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at Red, who turned an irritated shade of crimson and went back to digging through the drawers. "Do you think we should do eyeshadow on him? I mean, he's got such horrible dark circles under his eyes. Do you ever sleep Tweek?"
Shivering, Tweek squeaked, "Ngh- N-not really!" He was feeling a little overwhelmed by the colors and the lights flashing past him as the girls in the room all seemed to quickly coordinate an outfit and put it together. Focusing instead on Bebe, who was still calmly helping wipe away his warpaint, Tweek twitched and asked, "They're not actually going to turn me into a girl, r-right?"
"Don't worry, it's not permanent," Bebe reassured Tweek, stroking her fingers through his hair and grabbing for the hairspray that another girl tossed her. "You're just going to be a girl for a little while. It's all just makeup and stuff. Don't worry."
"I don't want to be a girl!" Tweek insisted, shaking his head. He wasn't girlish at all! Butters he could sort of understand, but him? The blond was a barbarian! Why on earth would they put him in a dress!?
"Come on Tweek, Craig used to say you were a really good actor," Bebe insisted, her eyes wide and pleading. "I know you can do it, just- Please do it for me, okay? I know it's selfish of me, but I really need the help of the boys if I want to get through to Clyde. You just need to dress up like this for a little while." Though he wanted to argue further, at Bebe's startlingly honest admission, Tweek felt his protests die in his throat.
"Grrr- Okay," he mumbled, shivering, but otherwise allowing Bebe to continue doing what she wanted. Seemingly satisfied, Bebe went about spraying his typically untamable hair with a foul smelling product that apparently made it look more girlish than usual. Catching sight of himself in the mirror that hung on one wall, Tweek had to admit that Bebe was doing pretty well with what she had.
"Well, you're not exactly the right shape to be a girl," Esther admitted ruefully, poking at Tweek's stomach, causing him to let out a cry. "But I mean you'll have to do." From the other side of the room, Red tossed over a skirt, and together, a couple of girls helped get Tweek into it. Feeling all kinds of weird about it, Tweek pulled at the skirt and looked at Bebe with wide, plantive eyes.
"I mean, you don't make a bad girl…" Jenny vetured, shrugging. "Wendy says they're having better luck with Butters, so maybe you guys should act accordingly. You know, so that the one who's the most believable is doing most of the talking. I'd hate for you to ruin things. That wouldn't be helpful at all."
Allowing the girls to push him into an uncomfortable pair of flat shoes that looked like slippers more than they did anything he could actually run in, Tweek held out his arms in resignation as they put a green blouse on him and Bebe buttoned it up to his neck. "There!" she said, giving him a smile that was admittedly a little brighter. "You're almost done."
Walking up to him, Jenny whipped out the makeup she'd settled on and started poking and prodding at Tweek's face, making the poor blond wish that he could just melt into the floor to avoid the torture. Why would girls do this to themselves willingly? Jesus, are they all crazy? To be honest, it was starting to look that way, but he just let it happen, unsure what else he could do.
All too soon, they were cooing over him and turning him around so he could see himself in the mirror. "THAT'S ME!?" Tweek screamed, his hands twitching upwards to grab his hair only to have three different girls stop him. "OH MY GOD W-WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" His outfit, which he hadn't really thought about in pieces, together made him look uncomfortably girlish. Feeling his pride, or what little of it he had, crumble, Tweek whimpered as he stared at the make up covering his face, and the styling of his hair which only added to the whole feminine vibe. He hated it, but as he caught Bebe's expression, Tweek held his tongue.
I've just got to get through this, that's all that matters.
"You look great Tweek!" insisted Jenny, poking at one of his cheeks. "Hmm, you need a different name. What do you want to be called?"
"What about Betty?" asked one of the girls in the back.
"Yeah, that sounds about right," Red agreed, grabbing a small green bow and fixing it in the front of his hair. "Betty. That's your girl name, okay?"
"O-okay," Tweek stammered, his voice sounding painfully high enough to be female. Oh god, I hope that Craig never finds out about this, I'd never be able to live it down.Before he could continue on this dismal line of thought any longer, the door opened and another cloud of girls filtered in.
"Oh my god, you guys never cease to amaze me," Wendy commented, staring at Tweek in approval. "I love it." Her eyes narrowing into a glare, the girl continued, "But if you damage any of that clothing, I'm going to kill you." At Wendy's threat, Tweek let out an involuntary cry, and the other girls giggled.
"Wanna see what we did to Butters, or should I say Marjorine?" Milie asked mischievously. When Tweek didn't answer, there was another round of collective giggling before they pushed someone forward in a swirl of ribbons and baby blue dress. Blinking at the long blond hair and prettily made up face, Tweek blankly stared at Butters in complete confusion as the boy let out a fluttering giggle and curtsied.
"Well, what d'you think, Tweek?" Butters, er- Marjorine asked, batting long eyelashes at Tweek, who could do nothing but stare in bafflement at what had become of the paladin. "I mean, I know I'm not as good as Kenny at it, b-but I think I'll do fine~!"
"Come on Marj, she's going by Betty now," Annie Knitts corrected, giggling. "Oh my gosh, you guys look so cute! I love this! You guys will totally fool the doctors at Unplanned Parenthood and be able to steal the records. This was such a good idea!"
Shaking himself from his trance, Tweek blinked and mumbled, "Gha! I guess it is…"
Linking arms with him, Butters brightly said, "Come on Betty, let's get 'em those records~"
Well, no one ever said this would be easy…
))))-((((
"Jesus, are you sure you -rrr- remember the plan?" Tweek clarified in a soft voice as they stared up at the doors of the clinic. It looked dark and imposing above him, just like the rest of this. He would have felt braver if he'd been able to keep some of his weapons on him, but unfortunately he'd been stripped of anything that could be used for protection, so he was at the mercy of everyone else. It was made worse by the skirt he was wearing, which just made him feel stupid.
"O'course I remember!" Butters burbled, twirling a piece of hair between his fingers with a smile. He'd taken entirely to the idea of playing a girl, which was terrifying and impressive at the same time. Tweek wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with this knowledge, so he decided just to accept it and use it. "It's okay Betty, we're gonna do just fine."
The plan was fairly simple, all things considered. The two of them were supposed to go into the clinic and sign Butters, or Marjorine, up for an abortion. While Butters was in there, Tweek was going to sneak into the back of the building and find the records that the girls wanted. Once Butters escaped, he was going to come find Tweek and they'd leave.
Thankfully, the twitchy blond had been told exactly what file to grab, so he knew what he was doing, but he was still terrified of the actual execution. What if he screwed something up and everything went horribly wrong because of it? Then what would they do? He didn't want to be responsible for something like that.
But, he kept telling himself, this needed to happen. Even if Craig wasn't counting on him, Tweek was counting on himself to rescue the Noirette from the terrible decisions he was making. It seemed so stupid, but then, Tweek wasn't smart, so he figured this was pretty typical. He could do it, he just needed to get the girls to help him. With Bebe there, he'd be able to figure things out with Craig and Clyde and then everything could go back to normal.
That being said, the process was not enjoyable, not in the slightest. Tweek wasn't feminine, and unlike Butters, who seemed to have picked up on being a girl fairly quickly, the blond was still struggling. Which was why he was going to be getting the records, but those were details he didn't need to think about.
"Okay, let's do this," Tweek squeaked, before pushing through the doors and walking into the room. The entire thing smelled horrifyingly sterile, and for a moment Tweek wanted to throw up, but then he remembered the last time he'd been in the hospital and Craig's soft, bandaged face, and he found his tremors relaxing slightly. He'd be fine, besides, he was here to do a job, not actually talk to any doctors.
Walking up to the desk, the blond pushed Butters ahead of him and struggled to control his twitching as the woman asked, without even bothering to look up, "Hi, here for an abortion?"
In a girlish voice that would have made Kenny proud, Butters cooed back, "Yes I am, thanks f'r askin'~" As he shuffled his feet, the woman flipped the thing on her clipboard up and looked through things before smiling, still not looking up.
"Wonderful, now don't be scared. I know the first one's always the scariest, but it'll get easier after that. Just head on through those doors." Finally looking up at them with the kind of blank stare that was typical of South Park adults, the woman asked, "Does your friend need an abortion as well?"
"Uh, no, see, Betty's just here to hold m'hand an' stuff," Butters said, smiling bright enough to blind someone. Realizing that he had a part to play, Tweek swallowed back his fear and nodded his head quickly, careful not to make eye contact with the woman. If he did, he was sure that she'd be able to see past the make up to the fact that he wasn't a girl at all, and they'd both be thrown out for sure.
As it was, the woman just smiled and said, "Alright, just head on through that door right there and head to the room on the left. Thank you for choosing Unplanned Parenthood during this uncertain time of your life." Nodding, Butters caught Tweek's arm and pulled him towards the door quickly, giggling as he did so. It's almost terrifying how good he is at this.
"See, what did I say Betty," Butters said, smiling at Tweek brightly the moment they were through the doors. "Everythin's gonna be alright~"
"Ngh- I guess you're r-right," Tweek mumbled, tossing his head around. There was something about this that felt horribly wrong, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was. Grinding his teeth together hard enough for them to start to hurt, the boy twitched once and squeaked, "I'm g-gonna go find those records. Jesus DON'T DIE!" Without waiting for Butters' response, Tweek scurried off down the hallway, hoping that he was going in the right direction.
The abortion clinic was frighteningly big, with hallways that seemed to stretch on forever. Despite this, Tweek snuck through it as confidently as possible. He'd never been as stealthy as Craig, but he wasn't terrible. There had been years he'd spent trying to stay away from his own monsters, so he had some skills from that. Still, in practice, sneaking through a place like this was terrifying.
Hearing rather than seeing a group of doctors at the end of a hallway, Tweek squeaked and quickly ducked the other way, holding his breath for a moment to make sure he hadn't been seen. Satisfied that he was still hidden, Tweek kept running, looking at the doors in case there would be some helpful indicators as to what was in each of them. Most of them seemed to be operating rooms, but some looked more promising.
Breaking off at the room helpfully labeled Record Room B, Tweek ducked into the dark interior and quickly shut the door behind him. Looking around the room, loath to turn on the light, Tweek stumbled forward until he managed to see well enough to start to read the rows of files. There were a lot of them, and he felt his stomach sink. Oh well, this might take a little longer than he'd expected. It's okay, at least I don't have to pretend to be a girl.
Wiping some of the makeup off of his face, Tweek started scrambling through the files, yanking boxes out and pawing through them until he determined that there was nothing important there. There were way too many boxes, and not all of them were as nice looking as others. One of them had a bloody looking butcher's knife under it that scared Tweek into stifling a scream. Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this. Deciding to pick up the knife because a small weapon was better than nothing, Tweek continued his search.
Finally realizing that he should probably move onto the more recent boxes, Tweek turned around and pawed at the first box on the opposite shelf. It felt… Heavier than the others. Confused, Tweek yanked it off of the shelf and pried open the top, nonplussed.
"Aug' um Aug', Zahn um Zahn!" Leaping backwards with a shriek as something leapt out at him, Tweek felt his stomach rebell with revulsion as a green, misshapen thing started crawling across the floor at him, still spouting German. As several more of the hideous creatures crawled out of the box, Tweek hurriedly drew the knife and held it in front of him, his shaking getting worse.
Oh god, maybe he was losing his mind, he was always losing his mind, but those things they looked like the zombie that he'd seen on the Alien Spaceship. Taking another step back, Tweek let out a shriek as one of them gave another yell in German and threw up. He could feel his blood starting to race because they'd defeated the aliens, why were their zombies still here? How was he supposed to deal with something that shouldn't even exist?
Before he could do anything, one of the creatures leaped at him, clearly intent on biting him. With a scratch of, "JESUS CHRIST NO!" Tweek slashed at the zombie, cutting it in half with the apparently sharp knife. Watching as the thing fell to the floor, nothing but a steaming pile of green skin and blood, Tweek whimpered and looked at the other two, who continued to advance on him.
He had to do something! And panicking wasn't the right answer. What would Craig do? He'd tell Tweek that he could do it. Feeling a rush of strength fly through him, Tweek let out a growl and leapt forward, stabbing one of the zombies before it knew what was happening.
"Weltkrieg zu stürzen, dann wird das Ergebnis nicht der Sieg des Judentums sein, sondern die Vernichtung der jüdischen Rasse in Europa!" the remaining form yelled, before charging at him. Dodging backwards, Tweek let out a scream of his own before slicing at the creature.
Unlike it's bretheren, it dodged, but Tweek didn't let that stop him. Instead he just grit his teeth together and faced the creature head on. As it leapt for him, Tweek sliced upwards, cutting the thing in half. With a wail, the thing fell, and Tweek was left alone once more, breathing heavily, trying to wipe green goo off of his arms. Oh god, it smells so bad, I hate this!
But he was alive. Craig would have been proud of him.
Remembering why he'd come here, Tweek hurried over to the box that was still lying there, and found at the bottom a single file, almost like it had been waiting for him. Recognizing the label as the one that the girls had asked for, Tweek grinned for a second as he reached down and grabbed it, spending a moment shaking the goo off of it.
Great, now all I have to do is-
"Oh god, you've seen too much." Whipping around, Tweek found two men in black suits blocking the doorway. Letting out a shriek because at last, they'd found him, Tweek stumbled backwards and stared at them in fear. "I'm sorry little girl," the same agent said, his tone unapologetic. "But you're going to have to come with us."
In a high voice that unfortunately did sound pretty feminine, Tweek squeeked, "N-no!" Clutching the file tighter because goddamn anyone who thought they were going to get it from him, the blond pushed out, "If you want me, y-you're going to have to come get me!"
"I'm sorry," said the other agent, pulling out a gun. "But that's not how this works."
He fired.
With a scream, Tweek rolled, losing one of his shoes in the process. Not bothering to go back and grab it, the boy got to his feet and ran, hearing the agents follow him as he did so. Feeling the hair on the back of his neck raise, Tweek ducked left and watched in horror as a bullet whizzed past him and blasted through the door at the other end of the record room.
Wait, door! Ditching his leftover shoe, Tweek ducked through the door and screamed as several more bullets came flying through. Looking around the room for something to defend himself with, Tweek grabbed the first dangerous instrument he saw and screamed when it turned on.
Pointing the thing at the first agent that came barling through the door, Tweek watched in horror as the thing stuck to the man's face, making him scream and hit at it in an attempt to knock it off. The other agent, who had no way of knowing what was going on, shot his partner in the back. As Tweek choked on a scream and the man fell, the blond noticed the gun sitting on the floor, and realized that he only had one moment to make up his mind.
Craig would do it, so can I! With a yell, the boy twitched and ducked forward, dropping the knife and grabbing for the gun. It was different than the Alien weapon, and for a moment he almost dropped it again, but then he was grabbing one of the spare clips that had fallen off of the dead suit's belt and he was aiming the weapon at the man in the door.
"I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT!" Closing his eyes, Tweek pulled the heavy trigger and went momentarily deaf as the gun fired. For a moment, there was nothing but distant screaming, then Tweek opened his eyes and found the man staring at him in surprise. There was no gunshot wound on him, no, there was just a nazi zombie creature that had fixed itself to his neck. As the man went over, dead, Tweek let out a screech and pointed the gun at the thing.
There was a bang, and the disgusting zombie fell off of the man, dead.
Shivering, Tweek backed up, stuck the gun in his waistband, and grabbed the folder once more before running out into the hallway. As he ducked outside, he almost tripped over another body, who was being attacked by several of the strange, almost baby like creatures. There was a phone on the ground, and through it he could hear someone yelling, but he had no way of knowing what was being said, so he kept moving. I have to find Butters!
Ducking down the hallway, hardly caring when the green bow in his hair went flying, Tweek quickly charged down the next passage until there was an earth shattering explosion that left him coughing horribly. Stumbling to a halt, Tweek heard shouting and fumbled at his belt for the gun. It was good thing he did, because a moment later, there was a suited man in front of him with a terrifyingly large gun pointed at his face. His face was green, and as he spouted something in German, Tweek realized he was a zombie. Without hesitation this time, Tweek pulled the trigger and felt his stomach drop as the man did. Oh god, I killed someone. Oh god, what have I done?
As more of those dreaded babies started swarming, Tweek ran through the hole in the wall, and almost careened into Butters, who had traded his wig for doctor scrubs and a cap. Seeing Tweek, the boy held up his hands and blubbered, "Tweek th-they tried t'preform an abortion on me, but I don't think that's what they did, and then I had to give Mr. Marsh an abortion, and I don't even know where he is now, I think that they might've-"
"THERE'S NO T-TIME!" Grabbing Butters' arm and pulling him along, Tweek raced down the hallway, headed towards, to the best of his knowledge, the exit. As they ran and Butters continued to blubber about nazi zombies and male abortions, Tweek kept running. He wasn't sure how he knew where he was going, but he was certain all the same.
Skittering with his charge into an admittedly familiar hallway, Tweek screeched when a large, hideous nazi zombie baby got in their path. Pushing Butters behind him, Tweek planted his feet and handed the boy behind him the folder before pulling out the gun one more. "This is going to be really loud!" Tweek screeched in warning, before the baby wailed something in German, and Tweek pulled the trigger.
The creature didn't stop coming.
Backing up, Tweek saw the spot where he'd hit the baby and realized that something this big wasn't going to get taken down with something like that. His arms were starting to hurt from the recoil, but he had to do this, he had to protect Butters. Gritting his teeth, the blond screeched, "I WON'T L-LET YOU HURT MY FRIENDS!" before firing again. And again.
There was a click as his clip emptied, but Tweek didn't care because he heard the bloodcurdling wail that came before the creature fell to the ground, dead. Dropping the gun and the extra clip, Tweek grabbed Butters' arm once more and hurried out of the abortion clinic, fear fueling every step. The moment they'd made it out, the whole building simply caught fire, making the air around it sear white hot.
Stumbling back, pulling Butters out of the range of the fire, Tweek watched as the building started to burn to the ground before the sirens started. Oh god, there are zombies.Tweek thought, before realizing the even more terrifying thought of, oh god, no one is going to believe us.
"What do we do?" Butters asked, voice terrified.
"Ghn- Go find the girls," Tweek mumbled, shaking his head. Because honestly, at that point, that was about all he could manage.
))))-((((
"See, it says here that there were only five women at the clinic that day!" Wendy exclaimed, pointing at the page.
"And right there it says Nancy Turner, 3:30 pm!" Esther agreed, pointing as well.
Tweek shivered, the loss of the blouse welcome, but the chill not.
"That's Heidi's mom!" Red exclaimed, her eyebrows shooting up before her face screwed up in anger. "So Heidi Turner was the two-faced bitch all along!"
Butters was still staring straight ahead in horror, and Tweek didn't blame him. If it hadn't been for dealing with the Aliens not but a few days ago, he would have been catatonic too. That or dead. Probably dead.
"This evidence is pretty damning," Bebe admitted, her eyes horribly sad.
"It's irrefutable!" Wendy insisted, furious as well. "Thanks Tweek and Butters, now we know it was Heidi who was spreading the rumors all along!" Her words were accompanied by a glare that was sharp enough to cut through glass.
"Fucking whore!" Lola yelled from where she sat above Bebe. The blond girl glared up at her, as if that kind of language irritated her.
"Two-faced buttrag!" Emily agreed, her arms crossing.
"Fuck Heidi Turner in her fucking two-faced ass!" Milie yelled, her face a mask of rage.
Even though they weren't directed at him, Tweek shivered under the viciousness of the insults. Taking a deep breath, Wendy's face smoothed out to normal and she finished with, "But Heidi is really sorry."
"Yeah," agreed Bebe, who seemed calmer now. "So we're deciding to forgive her."
From where she stood beneath the gathered girls, the thoroughly chastised girl exclaimed, "I love you guys so much!" Tweek quietly thought that if Craig ever called him half those things, he wouldn't ever tell the boy that he loved him so quickly. Jesus, why would I say something like that to him in the first place?
Putting her hands on her heart, Bebe smiled and said, "We love you too Heidi."
As the other girls all chorused their forgiveness, Wendy looked up at Tweek and said, "Well, since you were so helpful in helping us figure this out, I guess we can help you after all."
Around her, the other girls said, "Sunshine Sunshine!"
"Sparkle!" Wendy finished, banging her gavel against the table. "Tell the boys that we'll see them tonight."
And despite the zombies and the other terrifying things that were crowding his mind, Tweek managed a smile at this. Because at least things would be over soon.
A/N: Done with my Update dump for today. Look out for the next hella gay chapter. Coming out who fucking knows when.
