Wheee got this one done. Still got a drabble or two to do unless I smash both together in one. Yup, thank you trollven for inspiring me to make this journey for Yuri's lost dick….plots may change though merherher~ But then who gives a damn…it's crack.
Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.
I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though Ehehehe
I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is, gimme some soda/energy drinks/sugary foods/and spam Gigantic OTN on the laptop~!
*Opens sewer hatch* LET THERE BE LIGHT!
Estelle: *HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
Kairi: We're finally out of there…I thought I was going to die…
Now let us escape!
Kairi: No more caps?
I'm conservative.
Tweedles: Hold it right there Yuurii Looowell! We have orders to seize your ass! Surrender this instant!
Wow Yuri, everyone wants your Double Demon Fang now too.
Yuri: Don't call it that!
Yuri! Use rock throw!
Yuri: What?
JUST FUCKING DO IT! YOU CAN'T SLAP THEM WITH YOUR DICK ANYWAYS, NOW!
Yuri:….Fine *throws rock*
Tweedles: *bleeding like mad on floor* OH MAH GAWD WE'RE GONNA DIE!
It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! Now ESCAPE!
Sponge bob narrator: 5 hours later.
OMG THE RUN DOWN TO THE LOWER QUARTER IS FREAKING LONG!
Yuri: It is not, it took so long cause Estelle was too busy giving the tweedles and every guy on the way her number and you wouldn't stop taking selfies everywhere!
OMG HE KNOWS WHAT A SELFIE IS?!
Yuri: DAMN RIGHT I DO AND I'LL BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AS MUCH AS I WANT DAMMIT!
Hanks: Yuri, the fuck you do this time?
HE LOST HIS DICK AND BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!
Hanks: *bitch slaps Yuri* YOU BLASTED CROSSDRESSING MAN WHORE, I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THIS!
Yuri: *rubs cheek* Ugh, I'll just keep my mouth shut.
Hank: So…got yourself a harem though? *eyebrow wiggle wiggle*
Estelle there doesn't count.
Estelle: *smiles evil* You seemed to make a mistake there, I do count you know, after all I am this games Heroine.
You're still not gonna bang Yuri or Flynn so stick with your Knights or let cobwebs grow down there even better.
Yuri: Damn, how'd it get from losing the Aque blastia to this?
You banged Flynn after wanting to do some plumbing, that's what.
Yuri: Listen! I did not fuck Flynn…Ugghhh nevermind….you won't listen and I doubt the logical readers who read this will believe you anyways.
Estelle: Oh….You want to do some plumbing? Well, I have some pipes that need cleaning.
Yuri: ….No amount of cleaning can clean those pipes…..
Seriously….
Leblanc: Yuri Looowell! We want your dick right now!
His dick is in another castle! RUN!
[Everyone swooped up in crowd]
WHO THE FUCK SPANKED ME?! I WILL KEEEEEEEELLL YOOOOUUUUU!
Estelle: *orgasming* AH! THERE! MORE! THERE!
Yuri: WHO THE HELL IS SQUEEZING MY ASS?! COME ON GUYS, WHOA! GAH HEY STOP DOING THAT! DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL?! HEY!
Kairi: IYYYYYAAAAA! MY PRECIOUS VIRGIN BODY IS BEING VIOLATED AND DEFILED KAMISAMA!
[Out of crowd]
That was Hell….
Yuri: I think I might be covered in hickeys….
Kairi: I had food shoved in my boobs….
Estelle: It's over already? Pooh. I mean, that was dreadful!
Yuri: AAAHH!
Leblanc: *Squeezing Yuri's butt* GOT YOUR ASS!
Repede: *knocks him out*
Nope.
Yuri: Nice save Repede.
Repede: Woof! *smoke ring comes out of pipe*
Yuri: WHO PUT TOBACCO IN THERE?!
Who says it's gotta be tobacco? *sunglasses*
Estelle: *wiggles hips* OMG He's so FLUFFY~, I must have him~! I mean, cute dog.
Yuri: *twitches*
Kairi: She has no shame does she?
And no standards, though that would explain her obsession with Repede.
Repede: *stands on two legs* Bitch you can't have this! REPEDE JONES FUCKS NO MERE HUMAN!
Yuri: ! REPEDE?!
OMG SO COOL!
Kairi: Weren't we escaping?
Oh yeah, let's just skip that travelling inn, Estelle will just fuck Rich behind Karen's back or in front of Karen and get us banned for life anyways.
Yuri: What?
TO DEIDON HOLD!...Bye Yuri!
Yuri: Huh? What?
[Gate closes]
Yuri: WHAT THE FUCK?! SERIOUSLY?! *looks back and sees monster stampede heading this way* LET ME IN!
Password please or offer up something good in exchange~!
Yuri: I don't know!
Nope not close enough.
Yuri: SERIOUSLY YOU THREE OPEN THAT DOOR!
Fuck NO!
Yuri: …I have a stuffed cheagle doll that's here on the floor.
DEAL! [Magically whisks him in gate cause magic is magical magicallyness] IT'S SO PRECIOUS!
Yuri: Kairi why the hell are your hands bleeding?
Kairi: Ummmm…..uhhhhh….Bees?
Yuri: …Yeah cause…that makes sense…..
Kaufman: OMG! YOU WITH THE FABULOUS ASS COME WORK FOR ME!
Yuri: Fuck. No.
OMFG JUSTIN MAH MAN!
Yuri: HUH?!
Estelle: OMG DAT TAN! *panting* SO TASTY~!
Justin: YO! LET'S GO HANG OUT A BIT LIANA!
YEAHS! *leaves*
Yuri: What just happened?
Kairi: The beginning of an invasion?
Estelle: *chases* COME BACK WITH THAT MAN MEAT RIGHT NOW! I mean, don't run so fast!
Yuri: ….Why is she trying still?
Kairi: Beats me.
Kaufman: If you let me squeeze your ass I shall tell you of a new route.
Yuri: Just, no.
Kaufman: Fair enough, I'll take something of equal value then *squeezes Kairi's boobs* AH! Their smaller than mine, but soooooooo soft~! I'd pay 5 million gald for these! AH HOW I WANT THESE!
Kairi: HIIIIIIIIIIIII! DX B-BUT YOURS ARE BIGGER THAN MINEEEEEE!
Kaufman: Ah, I'm satisfied now, just go through the cursed woods to get to Halure~!
Kairi: Why me…*sniffles*
Yuri: And why are we trying to go to Halure again?
Kairi: Ummm, Flynn?
Yuri: Yeah, no one's said a thing to me about us going to Flynn or me even agreeing, you all kidnapped me from my cell and finding Flynn …that was what Estelle wanted ..…I just wanted to catch that damned Mordio.
Kairi: Well if you follow this journey you will definitely get to!
Yuri: Really?
Kairi: Mhm, it'll take time, but you can.
Yuri: You aren't lying to me right? You're like the only sane other person in this existence.
Kairi: I'm not lying, promise, cause I lo-lo-lost my earrings to that darned guy too!
Yuri: We'll GET THEM BACK!
Kairi: RIGHT!
OK, Talk's done, let's go to Quoi woods.
Yuri: Huh? Those cursed woods, why?
Cause I demand this plot get moving! NOW COME ON BEFORE THAT PINK WHORE CATCHES US!
Estelle: WAIT!
Too late….
[Poof to forest]
Estelle: OMG THIS IS THOSE CURSED WOODS RIGHT?! OMG NOOOO! I'LL BE IMPREGNATED!
Trust me nothing wants to impregnate you honey, let's go~!
Yuri: C'ya.
Kairi: Bai bai~!
Estelle: TAKE ME WITH YOU! Huh? Oh look Shininess!
What?
[Blastia activated, all incapacitated except Yuri]
Yuri: What just happened?
[AND THEY WERE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN, JK]
Yuri: Here Repede, let this fat one sleep on you okay.
Repede: Fuck is wrong with you man? Putting all that weight on a poor dog, but I don't say no to them titties~!
Yuri: …Since when do you talk?
Repede: Since that nice old lady from the wheat mill gave me some crack this morning, deal with it man.
Yuri: …Right, just take this crazy one, the sane one gets to sleep on my lap.
Repede: What about that Pink MoFo?
Yuri: We'll leave her at the Blastia, hopefully she'll get lost.
Repede: AMEN! NOW MAKE US SOME SANDWICHES BITCH I'M HONGURY!
Yuri: …..
Estelle: OMG I SMELL SANDWICHES!
Yuri: FFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!
Karol: HEY CAN I JUMP INTO THE SHOT NOW?! CAN I?! CAN I?!
Yuri: …..Who are you?
AND CUT! KAROL YOU RUINED THE FILM! NOW WE GOTTA REDO!
Yuri: …..What?...
[Scene Quoi Woods CUT] The following is filmed before a live studio audience, laughter not included.
Ah, I'm so bored….and my college classes start in a month and a half, so the main fic needs to keep cracking as far as I can take it until school starts, then the major slow down time for chapters will begin.
*rolls around on bed* I wanna go play somewhere… (I wasn't allowed to gamble this 4rth of July because this time we took mommy dearest with us, mostly we never do take her to the casino unless we're gonna stay the night, and we watched the fireworks and then she wanted to go home…even my dad was disappointed not to play blackjack *sigh*….)
